M57

I do not want to lie!

June 28 2011

I like who I am. I am open , honest and respect people. I refuse to lie and to deceive. As a result my profile clearly states I am in an open marriage and don't mind a bit of same sex fun. This of course means that the over whelming majority choose to ignore me, wrongly assuming me to be an immoral cheating husband, whose sole intention is to use other to get his rocks off whilst disrespecting his wife. The few remaining people then have an issue with my same sex dalliances. Of course what is hard to portray on my profile is that my wife and I agree that monogamy is not for us Amd that this lifestyle sees us both happier and closer. Nor does it reflect the fact that my overwhelming preference is woman but that the occasional male/male fun is like a treat. It has been suggested numerous times that I ought tell a few white lies, as so many here seem to do.Not be so open. What they don't know won't hurt them ..... Well I refuse to betray my integrity. The end result of course is being nearly 100% ignored by woman( no replies etc). Now I am no fool, the gender imbalance makes it extremely difficult given the competition. So! Do I stick to my principles and get nowhere or do I compromise myself, lie and have a glimmer of hope?

Comments

ruby_blossum

13 years ago

I applaud you on your honesty and wish many other married-open relationship- attached folks on here would do the same..As a single female on here I am not at all interested in someone who is attached in any way, I am looking for more than you are prepared to offer so I am not going to waste my time or yours, simple really...( there have been many posts previously on similar topics....).By being so open and honest you give others the informed choice..Its the ones who lie and are deceptive about their status that really piss me off....they have taken away my freedom of choice..Stick with your principles....it may take a little longer to find the right one/ones for you, but it will be based on honesty from the start

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Put up a couples profile, since you are in open relationship and state that you both play seperatly. That way no-one is under the illusion that your wife doesn't know and maybe she can get lucky too!! Mr Sat had a mans profile set up and it was very obvious he was attached as it was stated quite clearly.He did quite well from it too.So there is hope for you yet!

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Ill agree 100% with Ruby, add to that the fact that you wont float everyones boat, and if you dont fit there criteria they see no need to respond. As a single female I have no interest in attached men, and if i di the choice would be massive.... what makes you stand out from the rest? maye you need to sell yrself more?? Try to think of it more as a game of numbers rather than a personal attack. GL

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Whinge, whinge, whinge. All the time, married guys and couples complaining about not being able to find single women. All cosy in your relationships, looking for that little bit extra, and upset that a woman doesn't want to be that little bit extra.OK - so the above was written tongue in cheek, but there is truth to it. Why do couples and married guys want single women to play with? What's wrong with attached women?Sure there are single women who will do play with attached guys, but essentially what you're asking is for a woman to cut down on her chances to find an emotionally satisfying relationship with someone so that she can be a third/fourth/fifth wheel in your own life?I'd suggest maybe joining the poly groups that are out there. OK cupid also seems to have a lot of poly people on site (who get up to all kinds of kinky shit!)Oh, and don't lie! It probably won't increase your chances in your and will probably make you feel like crap.As for the bi thing, well, that's another matter. Most people are of the opinion that bi-guys generally don't play as safe as straight guys OR gay gay guys. That's a societal stigma that's pretty hard to shake.

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Your Quotes:"Why do couples and married guys want single women to play with? What's wrong with attached women?"Its not just single women..it's attached too..just not with there partner "attached to them- present" at the time.Just like there are men that are attached that have singles profiles, there are many women that do the same. Predictably because they only want to play with just the male or a female out of a couple..eg:Woman has a females profile stating she wants another female...but her man will be watching."essentially what you're asking is for a woman to cut down on her chances to find an emotionally satisfying relationship with someone so that she can be a third/fourth/fifth wheel in your own life?"Nope! essentially I think its about someone finding someone else in a horny spur of the moment pairing if they are at loose ends and having a "moment" in time thats mutually satisfying for both! Knowing that its a just a fuck!! putting it in really blatant terms.

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Saturn65' Your Quotes:"Why do couples and married guys want single women to play with? What's wrong with attached women?"Its not just single women..it's attached too..just not with there partner "attached to them- present" at the time.Just like there are men that are attached that have singles profiles, there are many women that do the same. Predictably because they only want to play with just the male or a female out of a couple..eg:Woman has a females profile stating she wants another female...but her man will be watching. Ahhh... I've seen a stack of couple profiles (and whinges on the forums from couples) complaining about the lack of single women willing to dive in, and I've been taking that literally to mean unattached women! Not women alone. Silly me! Thanks! :)

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

I have and always will me true to myself. Good for you that you stick to your guns and do the same. There are too many bullshit artists on this site..lol... Which in the end will be their own undoing. Can I whinge? I can you say? oohh..goody! Well... I find it tough to meet guys that like me but can't share me for MFM fun. They run away scared..lol. Whinge over.. Be true..you will win in the end. hugs sweetpetite41 xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Of course you can whinge. it is our right to whinge, as long as we do not get personal. MFM hehe. We can all dream. Fear not I shall always be true to myself. I have self respect. Just thought it would be interesting to see the thoughts of others

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

You are welcome honey!!

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

My husband is in the same boat, but he has a lot of success playing with other women in couples rather then trying to find single girls. Maybe you could also find a couple with a bi male that play separately And truth be told, even though I am in an open relationship I rarely playing men in open relationships beucase I have the luxury to be picky, and single men are easier for me and my time frames for play. Stick to your principals, lying will only end up biting you too.

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

Lovemccuddly, good on ya for being honest. I don't think you should change yourself to try to be more appealing. Even if you were an out and out liar and you managed to get the extra sex you were chasing I doubt it would be all that good anyway. . I'm a bi single guy. I've been on RHP for 6 months and am only just starting to have a little success with women. The men I've had to beat away with a stick. So for all the interest from women you lose by being open about being bi you gain a lot more interest from compatible men. I also like honesty in a profile. I get flirts from men who list themselves as straight and as looking for women only, and I always ask, why? Did you think I was a woman? So I'm going to feel a lot better about meeting a guy who says he's bi, or curious, or experimental or whatever. . The last thing I'll add is that the conversations I've had with the women who are into bi guys make me very glad I've been open about being bi. So maybe I lose a little mainstream appeal? Pfft, like those women would have been interested in me anyway. (And like I care much that they're not...). I've more than made up for it by chatting with some amazing women. It's best to have a unique selling point, I think, rather than try to be Mr Same. For me it's a game of quality, not quantity. . Hang in there. Sooner or later you'll find one of these women I'm talking about. Even better, maybe one who has a bi male partner.

reply

like
RHP User

13 years ago

I say stay honest and you will find someone who honestly wants to meet you.Sarah x

reply

like

I do not want to lie!

Comments

Tags

Boards

Forum help