F56
I made the first move for once but...
September 04 2017
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
Perhaps he sensed your heart wasn't in it so he couldn't come? Age is a factor too sometimes. The attitude I sense in your question and what it implies about your feelings about him and sex - I probably wouldn't come either. Sounds like you are both in a bad relationship place. :-/
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On_Safari
7 years ago
HERE'S A MEN'S HEALTH MESSAGE : DIABETES AWARENESS - WHY IT'S SO IMPORTANT I'm not saying this has anything to do with it BUT ....... there is NO MAN ON THE FACE OF THIS PLANET who will ever discuss concerns about sexual function not even with his wife in most cases until it's too late. So I'm offering up a possible cause and I don't know how you would go about broaching the topic with him either.....has he seen a doctor? Does he have any concerns about his health at the moment? The BIGGEST question - has he become concerned about the quality of his erection? I once posted a topic about Diabetes and the ensuing Erectile Dysfunction that occurs as a symptom/unfortunate side effect of the disease and I knew it wouldn't go far.....for the above reason and everyone wanting to be sex machine/gods/goddess'. So here I go with another strong request for the good of all your men, lovers and sons. His erratic demands for sex and/or inability to perform for you upon initiating may (AND I SAY MAY) have something to do with a medical/physical issue moreso than just being frustrated. Is he not taking enough fluid oin his day and drinking sweet drinks/beer moreso than water? If he's drinking plenty of water is he still feeling dehydrated? Is there a history of diabetes in the family? It may have skipped a generation so check grandparents, etc. I'm not scare mongering and where his behaviour is concerned don't take it personally ok. Perhaps gently suggest he go to the doctor for a check up and have his sugar tested just as a precaution . Both men and women may experience the following symptoms of undiagnosed diabetes:skin infections.nausea.wounds that heal slowly.blurred vision.fatigue.weight loss or gain that has no obvious cause.frequent urination.increased thirst and hunger. Erectile dysfunction — the inability to get or maintain an erection firm enough for sex — is common in men who have diabetes. It can stem from problems caused by poor long-term blood sugar control, which damages nerves and blood vessels. Erectile dysfunction can also be linked to other conditions common in men with diabetes, such as high blood pressure and coronary artery disease.Having erectile dysfunction can be a real challenge. It can leave you and your partner feeling frustrated and discouraged. Take steps to cope with erectile dysfunction — and get your sex life back on track.IF ANY MAN HERE SUSPECTS HE MAY HAVE AN ISSUE I STRONGLY URGE YOU TO TALK TO AN EXPERTMany men are reluctant to discuss erectile dysfunction with their doctors. But don't let embarrassment keep you from getting help. One small conversation can make a big difference. Here's what to do:Seek counseling. Anxiety and stress can worsen erectile dysfunction. A psychologist or other mental health provider can help you find ways to ease your stress level.Check your medications. Ask your doctor if you're taking any medications that might be worsening your erectile problems, such as drugs used to treat depression or high blood pressure. Making a change to your medications may help.Ask about other health problems. It's common for men with diabetes to have other chronic conditions that can cause or worsen erectile dysfunction. Work with your doctor to make sure you're addressing any other health problems.Ask what you need to do to control diabetes. Careful blood sugar control can prevent nerve and blood vessel damage that can lead to erectile dysfunction. Ask your doctor if you're taking the right steps to manage your diabetes.Tell your doctor what's going on. Your doctor will consider underlying causes of your erectile dysfunction and can give you information about medication and other erectile dysfunction treatments. Find out your options.I'm not a doctor. I'd never come across let alone heard of Erectile Dysfunction until I was 36yo. I've known quite a few men in my old life who trusted enough to open up to me about their health. I've discussed this with men and women and have both sides to go by. Men who's marriages deteriorated because they could no longer perform the way they had before the onset of their illness. Their anger, disappointment, hurt. The women who seek external stimulaton/outsource that element if they don't leave. The hurt they suffer because their men won't open up about it etc etc. There is no cure for this just management, understanding and finding other ways to support each other and meet each others needs. Early detection can help though You're right OP it isn't all about sex, even in here. It could just be you're both in a rut and might need a naughty weekend away somewhere BUT if you don't talk about it the status quo will remain for both of you. All the Best ~ Indy
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On_Safari
7 years ago
Retarded ejaculationEjaculation problems can also result if nerves in the penis become damaged. Lack of nerve sensitivity is one problem which can affect the ability to ejaculation. Retarded, delayed and impaired ejaculation are all terms which describe a difficulty in achieving ejaculation.Note that retarded ejaculation can also be caused or influenced by psychological problems, age and by certain medications.If impaired ejaculation is brought on psychological problems then treatment, such as through counselling or psychosexual therapy.Ejaculation problems caused by nerve damage tend not to be treatable but it may be possible to find sex positions that result in improved nerve stimulation.However, through strict management of the disease through diet, exercise, pills and insulin injections, minor sexual problems usually recede and it is possible for the man to achieve an erection.
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
He drinks beer everynight and not much water at all.. he seems to have the problem each time of late.. i may suggest a drs check up, but with his needle phobia, he avoids going for any sort of testing :( - Posted from rhpmobile
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
I was actually interested for once since the weekend was spent without any pressure and we enjoyed each others company... I have always suggested he go find a female playmate to satisfy him, since I am reluctant to on most occasions. . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
you assume that after one occurrence of sex??? I call that unfair.
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
For once in ages.. 🙄 - Posted from rhpmobile
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
He's probably just so over it all and who could really blame him. To have to beg and plead for intimacy from your spouse wpuld wear thin on anybody. All that chasing he wore himself out before the main event lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
7 years ago
.....and no judgements are being made either. It's simply a suggestion AND the sharing of a possibility. For Gods sake don't lose the BIG PICTURE message. There's no need to judge either the hubby or the OP. I'm a strong advocate of Men's Health in particular sexual function issues and it's comments like that that stigmatise sufferers (male and female) and stop them from talking to people or seeking some reassurance even here among you apparently sexually mature open-minded and compassionate souls. Many here know I had a lover die from Hairy Cell Leukemia and his ED was related to his blood cancer and chemo. I also know ALOT of men with diabetes Type 1 and 2 who have suffered this byproduct of the disease. DO NOT EVER think that I don't know what I'm talking about in this regard. Do you not love your male friends, family members? OP a medical checkup is never a bad idea, suggest you both go and have your "100,000km services and tyres rotated" 😏 Lol you can have your pin pricks together 👍🏽and he might go along if it's the 2 of you (soft look). It may be nothing (and beer consumption isn't an indicator either, he might just like it!) but atleast it'll rule out any underlying concern. Thanks for taking my post with the friendliness it was meant. Diabetes is a terrible illness but early detection can help.
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Curious1965
7 years ago
I feel I need to add here. I left my wife because we never had sex or did other things that offset the stress of life, To me life is about living and experiencing and she just gave me the cold shoulder. Although in the end I came back for the sake of my son I have no interest in having sex with her as I feel she just won, we were together for 20 years and I feel I missed out on so much while I did and still do the right thing. After leaving my wife I had a girlfriend but in the beginning I could not get it up in the end it came good but I believe it was the stress of the whole experience , lack of practise and feeling comfortable and an expectation to perform. So be careful with your relationship. - Posted from rhpmobile
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
But still, even when he finally does get some, you would think he would be 'happy'?! Lol 🤔🤔🤔 ah well... that's life hey? 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
7 years ago
OP......Effective communication could prevent so much of the things you've written about.
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
Appreciate that ☺ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
When they are tired of doing everything for them but wipe their arse. The passion and romance has long gone, and there is no help around the house or with the kids. When you start seeing them as another kid in the house there's no way you that you want sex with them. That was me anyway. Drink has a lot to do with keeping it up (brewers droop) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
7 years ago
There lies the issue. He should be happy he gets some? Lucky him. Probably can't cum from wanking to relieve himself.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Plus it sounds like his drinking is also going to mess up his erection. Your wife relationship doesn't sound very good at all, a severe lack of communication. Why do people feel the need to post about stuff like this when the actual person they need to be talking to is their partner!? I've learnt the hard way just how VITAL good communication is. Good luck, sounds like he needs to grow up and you both need to start talking. - Posted from rhpmobile
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OkeyDoke45
7 years ago
And say it was about the power being reversed? He is usually the pursuer, and this makes him feel all beastly - but you turned it around and pursued him. The hunter becoming the hunted? Possibly, I don't know your husband of course. He could be a Big Girls Blouse for all I know.
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prettyinpurple45
7 years ago
We talk.. but he just doesn't like hearing what I say to him... I totally understand his frustrations.. I am not a heartless sexless bitch either!!! 😁 lol.. not my nature. - Posted from rhpmobile
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Sad that A food can bring some joy but much harm at the end.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Alcohol in even small to moderate amounts will cause failure to ejaculate. Also combined with lack of sexual connection. Also age is a factor. It's just life, no big conspiracy or drama
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RHP User
7 years ago
What Annie said, all those factors. Beer no no no, but at the root of it, scuse the pun, is the lack of sexual connection. Odds are both of you would get off with other partners. Just my thoughts
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RHP User
7 years ago
So much assumption based on so few facts.
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RHP User
7 years ago
The best sex comes from mutuality not a power struggle. 👫💏
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Curious1965
7 years ago
You make an interesting comment about talking to him but he doesn't like what he hears. Others on this thread and other threads talk about having good communication, but the reality if they are closed to taking in what you are saying or simply just get angry you get nowhere. It wasn't until I walked out the door did she actually take stock and really start thinking inward. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
As he has felt all along as well. As candy said, did he sense your disinterest and that you may not 'have really been into him'... In my opinion, sex is a weapon in your relationship at the moment. I'm wondering whether you or hubby have really communicated about the issues between you and how you both nurture the 'sexual you as a couple' ... Is sex the only physical connection you have between you, is that missing for both of you? Is that why there's that pressure and why sex is pursued by your hubby? What about you OP? Why have you lost interest? Is it emotional or physical for you? What do you want from your relationship? Can you reignite what you used to have? There are two sides to this coin, get to know what hubby is feeling and express your own concerns, wants and needs too :) A counsellor may help 'navigate' this discussion if you think it's not going to be very open but it's worth a shot :) Mary xx
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Sailbadthesinner' So much assumption based on so few facts. Let the facts spoil a good story, or even a bad one.
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mango69er
7 years ago
Maybe his pissed , as your on an adult dating site. And not wanting sex with him. As for not cumming. So what. We dont all need to cum all the time. Male here dosent all the time and the female. . But still feels content. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Why don't you talk about an open relationship with your hubby.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Why don't you talk about an open relationship with your hubby.
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RHP User
7 years ago
As I have not been in a situation similar at all I really can't say from any experience. But I do know that a lot of men find it difficult to approach emotional and sexual issues, due to the bullshit conditioning and idea that a man should be a man. I would assume you have talked or attempted to or even thought about some sort of counselling. And on a side note Safari I found your comment in capital letters rather offensive and a huge sweeping statement. NOT all men find it hard to approach such subjects, some like myself are extremely good at talking and accepting emotional crap.
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Sawadee
7 years ago
..but I think the mental aspect youre both battling says it all.. You can't force yourself to enjoy sex when your hearts not in it , and I'm sure your hubby senses this which in turn effects his performance.. As you know good sex is not just about penetration, in fact it's hopeless unless there's some sort of emotional connection , without that you may as well forget it... It's like taking one for the team.... your there , but your not ' if you know what I mean...
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gazpacho
7 years ago
We don’t always ejaculate. Sometimes, I fake it so I can stop. Phew. It’s like a weight has been lifted. Hugs Gaz
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