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Twisted_Mister

Twisted_Mister

M55

IRL...... shudder!

February 10 2018

dating

Geez, you turn your back on this place for five minutes and the whole place implodes!!! Good to see some of the regulars still holding the fort though.... Anyway, I thought I'd try my hand at the whole IRL experience - you know, what some refer to as muggles do. I gotta say the whole thing's a bit frightening! It's easy enough I suppose to wander out to a pub or somewhere and cut one out of the herd, but in terms of 'going on dates' it's a whole lot harder than I remember it. This is NOT a woman bashing exercise by any means, but it seems like if I ask someone (nicely) if they'd kike to join me for a drink or a meal sometime the ladies' default response is to regard me as some sort of Wolf Creek resident until proven otherwise. It's probably easier for people in their 20s I guess, but that seems to be the position of everyone between their late 20s and 50. Not to say they can't be entertaining, just not in the way I'd like! Ha! I even had one lady not too long ago who refused to believe the name I told her (which it was), demanded to see my driver's licence and then said she wanted to divorce her husband and for me to be the catalyst! Goodness me.... I'm also now the only single bloke in my entire circle of friends, and so apparently must be set up by my mates' wives/GFs with their 'wonderful' friends. While I'm not unhappy with the concept, in the vast majority of cases it's a great big but very polite 'no'. Just no. As I approach my golden years, I find it's probably easier to ditch IRL and stick to the site/s, where everyone is generally upfront on what they're after, and if things develop after that then so much the better. Good people of RHP - your thoughts?

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I admit to recently giving the IRL experience a go myself and found it to be very disappointing. Notably having extremely minimal success to the most recent, finding someone who was interested, only for them to freak out at the thought of an ongoing FWB situation. Carried on like I had tried to propose or something!! On another occasion I had someone try to convince me that my Mr was trying to get rid of me by having me see other men.... That and the lack of honesty about what is wanted. I guess that is where sites like this are so beneficial as most here are on the same page and understand the various different lifestyles of others and don't get freaked out or judgy about what someone else does.

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    My experiences are that, that the women I’ve asked them “would you like to go out sometime?” Automatically defaults to no....and for very good reason...I see it as a protective mechanism... So use a different question... Better still, don’t ask....TELL in a respectful manner....it may just surprise you.... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I do prefer IRL, much ambience is lost in the digital domain - you get to experience all dimensions in real life, here it’s just a glimmer and sometimes a glimmer does not tell the story well enough. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    7 years ago

    I can understand the concern some people have about meeting someone online, especially for those who are attached/married, because they are meeting the absolute total strangers and so they don’t just have their own safety to worry about, but their families’ safety too! The unknown is scary and I get that scare too sometimes, especially after having seen the rate of people having MH issues nowadays! However, I am a risk taker in general and at my age, there’s hardly any single male friends left in my circle of friend and/or network of connection. Therefore, coming online to seek my next partner in crime is one of my options. And whether I would find that someone on sites like RHP or on eHarmony, who knows, that’s totally up to what fate has planned for me 😜 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Excellent post, funny, insightful and couldn't agree more with everything you said. I waver between RL and online, but I get frustrated with the wannabes my age or older in RL who probably think I'm a lonely single woman, waiting for them to rescue me. I feel so rude looking away or at the floor, so I put music in my ears to block out unwanted advances, problem is it blocks out wanted advances 😉 I don't have any friends, through choice I'll add, because I won't try to be someone I'm not for other people. Previous friends I let go, one laughing into her hand muggle style when I opened up, fuck that 👎it's just insecurity I know but I'm not remotely interested in wasting years trying to gain understanding from people who are essentially unhappy. Women are intimidated by me and men, well they just want to fuck me lol so it kind of leaves me by myself most of the time. I tend to shock people when I talk openly but get so bored talking to other women my age, who seem about a hundred. Worlds apart. I honestly feel like I'm talking to the Amish. I can't live a lie though. Have you thought about telling your friends? They'd probably be amused and curious, asking you along to every party to get more information 😎 being male, you might just get away with it That whole belief that you're single, you poor thing lol lol and having them suggest friends haha Splitting one from the herd also had me LOLing Love it 😁

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    The ambience of RL, yes couldn't agree more, good word, nice one

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Forgot to mention gay phobia, I can't sit and listen to people talking like that, beyond cringing, it makes me angry. And the general bad jokes, you know the tired old muggle dirty jokes zzz I'm officially a misfit, don't fit into society lol

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  • PurePeony

    PurePeony

    7 years ago

    Eh... don't ask, tell. Hmm... 🤔 Didcha mean this: Captain Caveman: Hey! You, me... Go out! *proceeds to KO woman with caveman bat, drag her by the hair, to "go out". 😜🤣 Woman's response not required. 😛🤣🤣🤣

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  • PurePeony

    PurePeony

    7 years ago

    ... it's age; or maybe it's my horniness, but having had two recent relationships that was dormant - extinct and downright awful in the sex dept, I've decided that I'm not going into any new relationship unless the man shows me his fireman's hose and promises to hose me down very regularly. Everyday would be nirvana (and I'm sure it'll help with orgasmic... oops, I meant spiritual ahem!... ascension 🤣🤣🤣), 5 days a week would be great, 2 days a week is kinda ok, but never let a week by without sex. 😛 That being the case, I'm kinda impatient with IRL situations where you need to project a certain image and keep my hands off the fireman's hose, particularly if I find the man alluring and attractive. I do not wish to attend virginal date after date only to find out that I'm not going to get my hands into the cookie jar to help myself. 🤣😜 Upfront, I want it to be known that if there's no sex, or lousy sex, then it's not going to work out, thanks for your time, bye! Best to lay the cards on the table.

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    Welcome back. We kept your room ready..... Real life? This is my real life. Not the forums but that is a part. But the interactions that lead to chat that leads to meets that lead to friends that might lead to intimacy or just close friends. Or l could say that this is maybe not traditional real life, but it allows me to be the real me. That's very real for me and probably something very hard for many to understand with your traditional normal existence compared to those of us thrust into the world with non conforming minds that can really struggle without places like these.to be ourselves..

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    Hahahaha ya gotta drag em by the hair so their vag doesn’t fill with sand!!! Lol It’s more like a statement of intention.... - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • inspirit

    inspirit

    7 years ago

    Nice to see you back and not much changed. I don't recall when you bailed tho. What is the 'I' for in IRL (Instant?) I like both worlds and similar to Annie its all real life to me. Ive been here a fair while and have met some great people and have many good friends from here and that being said, some of the most genuine and loyal people I have ever met. I think each scenario has it place in our lives. 😁😁 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I don't go out, I can't afford to. Hate the pubs unless I am going out with my friends and get so annoyed with being pushed and shoved by people. So like Annie and a few others I find myself here in cyber dating world. I am not ageist I just like younger guys as I find some of the guys my age or a little older not to my taste and well too old. Purepeony pretty much hit the nail on the head with the frequency thing. I am kinda in my prime and want to experience all that I can before I hit the dreaded 5-0.

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  • PurePeony

    PurePeony

    7 years ago

    🤣🤣🤣 What's the matter? Go to Specsavers, so you can see properly and select the tight innie vajayjays. You won't have issues with sand there, even if they sit in the sandpit. 🤣😜

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  • PurePeony

    PurePeony

    7 years ago

    In case you missed my comment on another thread, I'm so glad you're back! 😄

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  • MsSuperFoxy

    MsSuperFoxy

    7 years ago

    Is not really that hard or difficult. I think the trick is keeping it real. People are drawn to confidence and find that an attractive quality. There is nothing wrong saying "No" to what you want. It just means that you don’t have to act happier than you feel and it's your choice. I'm constantly meeting people all the time in RL (by chance/fate or via friends/family) and have had some fantastic dates. With dating apps, you eventually meet up. But until you meet facetoface in reality, you have to reserve judgement. My thoughts are, some people just don't know how to be alone or by themselves in reality and dating apps. Ms Foxy PS Welcome 😊

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    And have had zero rl guys coming to chat me up when I do go out (must have resting bitch face lol) They should have a singles only shopping time at Coles or Woolies because that's where i go to most - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Yes, shopping nights for singles 😉 I'm in 👍

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    I you spelt wild turkey wrong 😂😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    I like where that tell thing is coming from and very insightful definitely well worth a try. So next time instead of would you like a drink I'll try heading for the bar I'd like to buy you a drink. I presume this is what you meant.

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  • Twisted_Mister

    Twisted_Mister

    7 years ago

    I have mentioned this to some of my friends, yeah. For the most part, they're convinced I will be the victim of an ambush during a meet by a complicit BF/hubby, and that I'll either be bashed, have my wallet stolen or wake up in an ice bath minus a kidney or two! I can hold my own a bit better than the average bear though (thanks, previous sporting life) but I guess that sort of thing would worry the ladies a bit more. I'm almost sure I've been cancelled on more than once, but if that's the reason I can't do much about it. I understand though, of course. That sort of thing isn't restricted to online stuff though - it equally applies in real life. "Would you like to come upstairs and see my etchings?" could mean anything! I threw my Etch-A-Sketch out years ago anyway.......

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    Haha can't say I've ever asked anyone upstairs to see my etchings 😁

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    7 years ago

    that these days the distinction between 'real life' and online is a bit of an artificial one. To me, online is just another way to meet people. Among the younger generations at least there isn't the same stigma that there used to be about meeting people online, even though you still get the occasional guy who tries to insult women on here with the old 'you must have something wrong with you to resort to meeting guys on RHP' chestnut. I don't meet many people in 'real life' at the moment and I've never been one to have a hectic social life. Plus I very rarely get hit on when I do got out, I think it's my resting bitch face Also, same as Annie I find that I relate to the people on here a lot better and I feel like I can be myself around them. Sexually speaking and potential relationship-wise, my interests and the I'm looking for things these days are considered pretty out there by a lot of people. The people here are generally more open-minded and I've made some good friends as well. Some of the best people I know I have met through this site.

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  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    7 years ago

    We all have different priorities, time management issues...we'll just busy. I find that l can use the dating apps to help in my life organisation. I don't need to worry about consciously going out socially to maybe meet new people and all that entails. I lead a fairly busy life with work, fitness and sport. I can set aside certain nights to allow for dates, sex and can work toward filling in those times without too much frustration. It's there if l want it. That leaves the rest of my time without the subconscious situation of social anxiety of missing out. I can go away for a few days and have perfect quality time with myself....lol, knowing l can hook up in a few days if l want or not want. In my mind, those that cast dispersions about spending too much time on these sites, are the ones that can't angle these places to suit them. In other words, they can't get a root in here. Not my problem. It's working perfectly for me, you don't have to worry about me. Just worry about yourself

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    In the instance of a bar.... I’d be saying something like “I’m heading to the bar, you should accompany me so we can talk more....” - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • EarthQueen

    EarthQueen

    7 years ago

    Is it like the Field Of Dreams? If you build it they will come? Whenever I try to build something in RL its like the three little pigs. I want to build with the bricks but it always seems like I get the person who likes to fashion things out of twigs and straw and blow a lot. So I just set it on fire and run.

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  • The_Antichrist

    The_Antichrist

    7 years ago

    I think you described herpes quite well... Starts off as a fantasy and then ends up in a burning sensation lol - Posted from rhpmobile

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