RHP

RHP User

F39

I'm not crazy am I??

August 11 2013

I've just broken up with my boyfriend (1month ago) of 5months that I met on RHP and he wants to come see me for my birthday as we still talk a bit, but he intended on staying at my place for the weekend without letting me know until the last minute and I said no I had plans. Now he has spat it at me?? I don't mind chatting via Facebook but am I the only person who thinks its weird him wanting to stay at mine?! I kinda don't even want him coming down at all but my friends and family want him to and think I'm being mean wtf- Posted from rhpmobile

Comments

  • lovman8

    lovman8

    11 years ago

    Relationships are complicated and messy things, far too complex for me to understand let alone give you advice. I'd just say you got to do what's right for you as there will be as many different takes on this problem as people commenting, but having looked at your profile I can understand him wanting to hang around.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    and you know what feels right for you. It's not about what your family or he wants. Be true to yourself and if you don't want him visiting make it clear that you want to be friends only with no other expectations.   IMO and without all the facts, it sounds like he is taking you for granted and its more about what he wants and your birthday is an excuse for him to get it.   Alternatively he may want to use the time to get back with you and is frustrated at not getting that opportunity. If it feels good do it, otherwise stick to your guns and do what makes YOU happy. Happy birthday   SFxx

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    We all like to end things well, but the reality is that doesn't always happen, and we move on to other people, leaving little room for those we dated before. Sounds to me like you need to draw that line in the sand. If he can't accept that line..... he has no place as a friend in your world. DG

  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    11 years ago

    Sounds like he was after one thing only?!!! Disrespectful to not even discuss with you but assumed or rode his luck!!!! Good luck Miz wherever your journey takes you!!! :))))

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Fuck what your family wants. Your party, your life, your choice If you don't want him there tell him to fuck off he's not invited!!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    ok. You have both spilt up. When that happens, one party can take it badly. He may be in a little bit of denial. It's nice that you''re trying to stay in contact with him. However it can sometimes be good to cut ties for a while. If he's still a part of your life, he just might not get that you're not together anymore. He may still think he can get back with you.It is up to you who you choose to be with and are happy with, not your family and friends.He can't assume that he can stay over and if he doesn't like it. That's his problem.Only knowing your side of the story, I can only comment like this.Just enjoy your Birthday without any complications

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Its your birthday and you have every right to share it with the people you want around you. Even if it wasn't your birthday, its your life and you choose. It annoys me that you are being branded as mean because you are being assertive. Don't let their opinins hold you to ransom. If your family and friends don't understand, its their problem and maybe they need to query what their personal agendas are in wanting him to come down for your birthday. Let them know a clean break is what makes you happiest and as your family and friends, doesn't your happiness take precedence over his. Good luck

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Sensory_fun' and you know what feels right for you. It's not about what your family or he wants. Be true to yourself and if you don't want him visiting make it clear that you want to be friends only with no other expectations.   IMO and without all the facts, it sounds like he is taking you for granted and its more about what he wants and your birthday is an excuse for him to get it.   Alternatively he may want to use the time to get back with you and is frustrated at not getting that opportunity. If it feels good do it, otherwise stick to your guns and do what makes YOU happy. Happy birthday   SFxx

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    Your Family and friends like the guy you liked, that is fair, they obviously enjoyed time with the two of you. Unfortunately you have decided against that, which is for reasons.If you have told this guy you love him during the time you played with him, then his world may be pretty lonely right now, that would be a bummer for anyone who may have felt part with something.Can't blame the guy for trying, if so.Mado

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I had to dissect a similar situation. But the lesson I learnt was, that I was unhappy about a decision I had made. Whilst I made this decision with all the purest of intentions, I made it originally for the sake of keeping someone else happy, and not me, and who have I got blame??? Me. The guilt trip I had given myself at the time, was unfortunately a reaction to a much earlier similar circumstance(long before joining Rhp), where guilt was used in order to manipulate. Not a very nice thing as I'm sure you'll agree. A wise person once said to me "you need to be kinder to yourself!" At the time, I thought what the hell does that mean?? Well, I can tell you, I now know a lot more about what they meant after this latest lesson. So I'll ask you this OP, if you allow something to occur in your life, that is upsetting to you, exactly how kind to yourself are you being??? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thank you all very much I appreciate it deeply :)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    And thankyou for the birthday wishes xx- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You don't feel comfortable with that situation and quite rightly so, if he doesn't respect your wishes and not able to follow that then be aware, you are not being mean, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, it is over, he is unable to be just friends and he has just tried to step in your personal space without respect, don't let the jerk back in if he is going to behave like a spoilt brat, the only reason he wants to stay over is he hopes to get the last bite of the cherry(so to speak) he will take advantage of you if you happen to get drunk so just be aware of that.   No means no, he doesn't own or control you and hasn't respected or valued your wishes so have respect for yourself, regardless of what the others say, to them he might be a good bloke but they are not in your shoes, if they were true friends they would understand and support you.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    Why insult them, or is it family and friends you insult. Some just thrive on others misery. Say what you fucking want, say it to me.Mado

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    I bet you love your family and friends, you asked a question with concern. Respects to your family and friends.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thankyou - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Your house, your life, your choices. If you don't want him there then it's YOUR RIGHT TO REFUSE HIM. Period. If he or anyone else doesn't like that is their issue, not yours. If they are any ounce of a human being, they will respect your choices whether they agree or not. Live your life sweetie as you want to and Happy Birthday. x