Initial Meetings with couples

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  when we arrange to meet people it is usually in a neutral environment, if we can find a baby sitter. We have talked for hours to some people about all sorts of things, including generaly likes/dislikes/ to the nitty gritty of playing as in how long/what each other likes/what they would like to get out of it... you get the drift. Before we leave we then have usually decided if we would like to meet again and if so we say we will be in touch or vice versa......... we are never in a hurry to play and definately boundaries have to be respected and people need to understand that sometimes personal life comes first as it always should, it says in our profile family come first and that is so true, swinging to us in not an 'essentail need' but to be enjoyed when and if it is possible. I (female) is a shift worker and the amount of people that have dished us because we could not meet up  even within a couple of weeks of the initial interest is great, but there loss, they obvioulsy have no respect for us as a couple and i think the same obviously applied to your scenario tastietwo.   cuddes

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I'd say we go with the flow.   I remember once we met with a couple for the first time for drinks and just spend all the time talking about kids, pets, hobbies, sports ... stuff like that. So after that we came home, we were like ... wait, we forgot to talk about that swing thingy. Exchanged a couple of SMS and ended up playing with them and had a great time.   But yeah, usually the subject comes up as in why do you do it, have you been doing it for a long time, have you been to parties etc. Usually in this case some more or less funny stories are exchanged. No one asked anything as straightforward as "how many couples have you played with" though.   We'd definitely approve of the honest approach. It's a bit discouraging when you've met someone, liked them, and they told they liked you too, and then you send them a message about meeting to actually play and they never reply. But on the other hand, if they didn't like my accent, or the form of my nose, or they don't think I'm tall enough or any stuff like that, do I really-really want to know that? And sometimes you're just not "into" the person without being able to tell exactly why ... what to do?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  We take everything as a new experience. No expectations and just go where the vibe takes us

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  when we meet up with a couple i normally let the women talk first (mr here) for awhile and just answering when asked a question (it sounds bad but stay with me) I figured that at the end of the day she doesn't really care about much i have to say. But after awhile i dunno you get a feel for the convo and can start adding more... would depand on the women i guess but it works for me.. Also we only pick couples we get along with so we won't have that awarkward silence just go with the flow if u have to pre-plan wat your gonna say well....   Scott

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Maybe their were scared off by the "medical procedure"   I am not sure what details if any you gave them but if you did not give an details maybe they jumped to the conclusion you had an STI and were waiting for it to be cleared up. or maybe they did not want things to just turn into a friendship.    We always try to work out how committed they are and their attitude towards each other are as that seems to be a big factor in how good the play maybe.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  We generally chat about everything......I have no boundaries and like to know things so I will generally be the asker of questions.  It may be questions about there personal non swining life through to questions about boundaries, how often played etc.   If nothing else I have found that people are a little strange and often cannot be honest about their thoughts / feelings towards other couples / singles due to not wanting to hurt anyones feelings or just being gutless.  You will never know what the issue was but I thought sexycountrycpl had a good point..medical procedure could be interpreted as anything.   I however would have followed this up with - what medical procedure?  If you don't ask you don't find out.   K.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  We did tell them the medical procedure its fairly routine most people from all walks of life have had, nothing to do with a sexual nature. Reflecting on it we should have known better...We loosened up on our own rules!  No face photos before meeting. No talk on the phone first. A single ladies profile with no reference to her partner on the profile but in the messages. They seemed well suited one a single lady the other a single Dad in a long term relationship, or that is what we were told.     Our guidelines are to only play with long term straight married couples to be safe from STD .... maybe that was the problem we moved outside our own guidelines, and met people quite different to ourselves. The reasearch we have conducted is that STI is just about non existant in the couples swinging circles. Cheers

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Their is no set subject , it all goes with the flow , an initial coffee of drinks can last from 5 minutes to maybe a few hours , Its funny sitting in Coffee Club and spotting the couples who are meeting for the first time , takes a swinger to spot a swinger lol john n jo

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