M53

Introverts - Experiences. Tips. Suggestions.

January 07 2019

I’m definitely well towards the introvert end of the extrovert/introvert scale and I’m curious to hear how other introverts have navigated the world of non-monogamy in its various (and almost infinite) forms. I noticed another member (Earth Queen I think) include their 4 letter acronym personality type in their profile which I think is a fantastic idea because it really does give a huge amount of information about the person and how they interact with others. For those who know and care abut these acronyms, I’m an INFJ which can make meeting new people and making meaningful connections a long and difficult process. It may seem ironic that an introvert may want to explore fantasies such as group sex and sex parties, so.... I’d love to hear the experiences of other introverts and any suggestions they may have for fellow introverts beginning to explore non-monogamous sexuality. Thanks. xx - Posted from rhpmobile

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

Introverts ROCK! If I can protect my lover/s, I will. I am an enthusiast lover and a generous lover. If I say "NO" I mean it. There are no if's or buts (ok, sometimes there is butts). Overall I like to take my time as I am more of an observant and do form emotional attachments. As an ISFJ, we are very private and sensitive people, who internalize feelings a great deal. That is one thing Introverts will never understand about us introverts. I can not see myself with an introvert, as they drain the f*ck out of me. Ms Foxy PS Great topic :)

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

can not see myself with an EXtrovert, as they drain the f*ck out of me. Ms Foxy

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BlueDMB

6 years ago

Excellent Ms Foxy!! So great to hear that I’m not alone on the introvert scale here!!! As you’ve probably realised too, sometimes it seems that the world is built only for extroverts, especially in the last 10-15 yrs as social media (and media in general) focuses so much on the attention seeking/seekers. Yes, extroverts can be draining to keep up with!! But, they can also be good fun at the right dose, especially if they understand the needs of their introverted friends.

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FeistyFatty

6 years ago

(ISTJ-T) The Logistician I run a mile from extroverts that contact me on RHP or other sites. They're alot of work for me and certain traits really rub me up the wrong way. My hubby is an Extrovert, can't remember his Letters though, and he knows sometimes he's high maintenance lol. Opening up our marriage and getting out of my comfort zone has actually been the best thing me, forces me to open up and let my guard down and others in, even if its just for a moment.

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EarthQueen

6 years ago

Extroverts Being an extrovert doesn’t mean being an attention seeker though? Especially not in Myers-Briggs. It’s often interpreted that way though. I spend decent portions of my time alone. By choice.

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House_of_Fun

6 years ago

I rarely meet new people, and when I do I prefer them to be fellow introverts. I think my profile is quite clear about my personality type without the need for an acronym though.

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OkeyDoke45

6 years ago

I'm apparently an INT-J on the Myers Briggs thingy, but I can't remember what that meant. I'm definitely introverted these days - was quite extroverted when I was younger. It's not that I don't like company, it's that it's far easier and less prone to disappointment to keep my own company. I have a good group of work friends (shift work often precludes anyone else) that I will go out with every couple of months or so, I will have a good time with them but then that's pretty much me done socially for a few weeks at least. I went out New Years for the first time in I don't know how long, met a very lovely woman and we had great night together. It has been a couple of years since I last had a night turn out like that. If you just get out there and give it a go, it's amazing how stuff can happen. The problem is, I can't be arsed most of the time. I went on holiday recently and stayed at a nice resort for a few days. I watched a lot of the other patrons mingle around the pool, chat and have a couple of drinks together, then meet up later to go for a night on the town. I was once like that, and it really struck me that I was no longer and there I was - Nigel No Friends. Then I realized that the reason why I am no longer like that is because I have ended up being befriended, stalked and bothered by too many weirdos over the years. In regard to internet dating here and elsewhere, I don't really put myself out there very much at all. I tend to wait for people to message me (which they do from time to time), I could probably have more success if I was a bit more proactive and thus not have to endure droughts like I have of recent (thankfully, the heavens opened on the aforementioned NYE outing). But again, like I say, I just can't be arsed.

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MsJonesy

6 years ago

Introversion and really these days I do prefer mucking about by myself or in the company of a couple of close friends rather than a big gang of people. OP, I am also an INFJ and it has been a difficult process to build a close bunch of friends in this lifestyle but I have managed to do so. I think that was helped by putting myself out there early on, by running social meet & greets (a great way for a person who tends towards introversion to fleetingly meet a lot of people!), going to clubs with people I feel safe with and who I know well.... and who understand that sometimes I will leave early if I need to retreat. Over the years, I have learnt to protect my sense of equilibrium by only seeking friendships, so no random meet ups for a quick bit of action, no ONS action, no playing at clubs with people I don't know. All which dramatically reduce my "action", but ultimately mean I am happier.

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BlueDMB

6 years ago

Thank you all for the great feedback! Thanks MsJonesy, yes, the initial phase of trying to work out the ‘lay of the land’ in this world and trying to find the people who will be my friends/playmates is exactly where I’m at now. The meeting people phase is tricky and a bit uncomfortable for the INFJ! But, like with other areas of life, a slow and steady approach will hopefully help me find the right people and also let the right people get to know me.

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WishingWell

6 years ago

I'm an introvert too and to start my rhp journey 16 months ago as a single female on here was a massive challenge for me but something I knew I really needed, I was ready.. The personal risks I've taken have had huge rewards for me and I've learnt so much about myself and others through my experiences. Like the previous posters have said I'm much more comfortable around people I trust and feel safe with, connection is very important to me. There are some great people on rhp who can help you grow as an individual and a sexual human being. My playmates who know me well laugh when I say I'm shy, as when I'm highly aroused can be quite extroverted and a bit of an exhibitionist. There's so much to discover about yourself as you sexually evolve. I haven't looked back and I hope your experience will be a positive one for you too! So OP keep dipping your toes in, then maybe your foot and enjoy the adventure XXX

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AnnieWhichway

6 years ago

For me. A healer. Band-aid anyone? Perhaps a session with Auntie?

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BlueDMB

6 years ago

Thanks guys!

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Mischeviouslad

6 years ago

Sometimes it’s just so much more difficult to walk slowly into the water..... than to dive the fuck in. The water is the same The process is what’s different Only through continued exposure to what makes you uncomfortable, can you become comfortable with it Some use the phrase ‘fake it till you make it’, and in some respects that’s true. Overcoming that internal fear is easier if you expose yourself to it and realise the fear is nowhere near as justifiable as your self limiting beliefs tell you it is Nike is right Just do it The fear diminishes when you realise the fear is a fraud

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RHP User

6 years ago

INTP Logician I did the Myers-Briggs for free in 2005 as part of my university course. I shocked myself that I was an introvert at heart. I love people. I love good conversations. I am not at all bothered striking up conversations or speaking to large groups. But I need to refuel by being quiet and having alone time. Big noisy nights out (like many of us had in the build up to Christmas) exhaust me. And if if I like you a lot, I'm still going to want you to home (lol)! @ Mischievouslad Are you an INTP too because I'm feeling you. You speak sense so eloquently.

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funtimescouple1

6 years ago

Great analogy with jumping into cold water Mischievouslad. We're a couple so it's different. As swingers why overthink it? If you like a profile arrange to meet, then just be friendly, respectful and a bit flirty and go with the flow. See what happens. So many couples on here though say they're experienced and don't like time wasters yet they're hesitant. As we say totally different for singles but same rule, don't overthink it.

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allfouradventure

6 years ago

I’m been an introvert my whole life , and I hate it . Oh how I would love too have a mate to have a beer with ! , a friend to invite over for a bbq . I often feel inadequate in conversations, this allows the extroverts to speak over me ...... so back to the corner for me . Yes I have acquaintances, but real friends ... no . My .partner has friends that she brought into the relationship, but I have little to nothing to bring to the table . I’m often accused of being grumpy or in my cave because I don’t talk , but really I don’t feel I have anything of value to say , hopeless at jokes , story telling is for others ...... once again the extroverts take over . I’ve tried so many things but in the end , rejection is a horrible phase . In the end it’s easier to let the extroverts take over and to stay sitting in the corner and pretending .

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RHP User

6 years ago

Separately...in your own homes.Thisis a t shirt being advertised on farcebook right now.

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cat_n_the_hatter

6 years ago

I would never rely on popular tests such as Myers-Briggs but would recommend IPIP NEO. You would be surprised with how small is the real number of extroverts in a population. Most people who are perceived as extroverts are actually not, they just want to portray themselves as one because it is socially desirable. They exaggerate and behave in ways that real extroverts never would. Not all Extroverts are the same just as Introversion does not imply introspection. Thoughtfulness and reflection are only present if those people have high scores in Openness. Those who are reserved or loners can still have good social skills but can also be set in their ways.(Agree with Mischevious)- Do not let the moment pass, fear is stupid and so are regrets. (Ms)

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FeistyFatty

6 years ago

Mojo... LOVE that!!🤣

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RHP User

6 years ago

I'm very much the introvert but for me it means I seek interactions with others like me. I dont enjoy the "look at me" brigade which is classically more the extrovert persona. I'm always careful about who I message, why I message them and how they message me back. Is that the same as others do on here?

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Introverts - Experiences. Tips. Suggestions.

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