RHP

RHP User

M52

Is "Separated" Unattached or Attached

September 19 2013

Hi All   I am separated and consider myself a single man, although, in the interest of full disclosure I have selected "separated" on my profile setup. Recently I selected to flirt with one of our sexy members and the box came up telling me I am outside of the persons criteria "Unattached". Now, I believe I am unattached. I do not have a girlfriend at present and I neither live nor sleep with my ex.   This leads me to ask everyone's opinion on this. What do you think?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    and then there's the contextual truth. Separated can mean many things and people may assume there is still regular interaction and thus potential issues when they see this ?If in your own circumstance Single accurately reflects your living arrangements / lifestyle then I don't think the little white lie of labeling yourself as such will matter ... that was IFYou will enjoy a greater pool of potentials if your profile is labelled single but ultimately you aim to meet these people so misleading lies will bring you undone quick smart.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    mmmm thanks Indef, that is food for thought. I dont want to misrepresent but I also don't wish to be labelled.   Thanks for responding mate

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    opps soz for the multi post, damn internet is so slow for me I didnt think the post comment worked. So like most blokes I hit it again haha

  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    11 years ago

    I don't do attached but if I see separated I would assume like you are Trav as just that!! I would ask if that's the case when chatting. I have learnt through experience to be quite specific when asking the question as some on here state single but are actually physically or emotionally not unattached!!! Certainly a conundrum!!! Good luck! ;))

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    it's just a label, don't sweat the small stuff.So long as you know where your up to and up front in any communication with whoever.Enjoy n welcome

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Completely agree with Indefatigableme. If you have no physical/emotional attachment to your ex, you could choose "Single" and explain you are legally separated in the written part of your profile. That way you are being honest in my book. Good luck!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    you are single, if you do not have a girlfriend or live with your ex. Separated mean to me, that you are married BUT not living with wife, that you are living apart.*Then I looked at OP's profile, stat's is now SINGLE*FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Thanks, I took Indef's advice. Thought about it and he is right. I will just have to be upfront when talking as I dont want to seem sneaky. I dont want to be mentioning my ex in my profile as I believe it paints the exact opposite of what I am trying to explain..   Thanks for your input ladies.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    for some, separated means their partner is in another room and can't see what they are doing on the computer! lol   For the OP, I agree with what the rest have said, you are single, and it is good to see you have changed your status to that.   Good luck here   Mooks

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I had separated on my profile as that is technically true, I've been separated for 2 years, we are not divorced and frankly i'm not in any rush to spend the 10k to do so. I am most definitely single, however technically still married although separated ......too damn complicated! So I've updated to single. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yep I'd say "single" as well!FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'mooka' for some, separated means their partner is in another room and can't see what they are doing on the computer! lol    Mooks OR the partner is asleep in bed in the other room!! lolzFOXY

  • TrymeonForsize

    TrymeonForsize

    11 years ago

    Bravo OP..... This is something that's weighed on my mind for some time.... Whilst I am still technically married I lead a gloriously single existence.... & have considered myself single for quite some time now... But I've also thought it best to be upfront about my status to save any confusion & long winded explanations about my marital status..... But damn it... Methinks its time to declare my "singledom" to the RHP world lol...=) XxTry

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The partner is asleep next to them in bed ! Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Glad to hear it Kaleidoscope. I feel the same way. Thanks to all for putting my head straight :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Here comes the Status Change Movement or SCM for short hahaha. To anyone I have prompted re-think their Relationship status I am humbled. Viva la revolution ;p   T

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That you may well be separated from living with her, but you may very well still burn a candle for her- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    When I first joined. My choice was to leave it as separated and change it to divorced on the day I got the decree :). I don't think it made too much of a difference to how I was perceived as far as I know. I certainly considered myself single the entire time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Seperated is a stale mate it may go either way.... a holding patern. If you consider yourself single then say so.I once spent over an hour filling out an e harmony form and stated seperated as it was early on .......at the conclusion they said this site is for singles and refused my profile. There was no option to go back and change it so wasted an hour of my life....I wonder f I could put my sexual desires in that profiles?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Single to me implies no ties... including an ex you're still married to. I'd consider you single after the divorce. Just sayin'

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Here one for ya we were married to each other now divorced from each other ? Still good friends and we share our children much more pleasantly as a result... So r we attached divorced or separated or simply new age x partners ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It will only go one way, it's not a holding pattern, more a transition phase.- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Most of the time anyway. That was how it was for me, purely a matter of timing and process. In my own mind I was single, there was no chance my ex-wife and I would be getting together. For some others it seems quite different though, so I guess it definitely comes down to a case by case basis. I remember a conversation I had with one of the guys at work that pretty much summed up how I felt and it went like this.....My colleague said, "so if you came home and found her naked on the bed saying 'fuck me'. You'd give her one though wouldn't you?"My response was "I'd throw her clothes at her and tell her to get the fuck out of my house"So while some people who have separated on their profile will end up telling you they can't help it, they are getting back together with their ex......there are very definitely many for whom the idea is anathema to them! They are well and truly ready to move on.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    There are a few people who are still married but haven't gone through the finality of divorce, why should they not regard them selves as single?Plus a lot of people who leave relationships have already come to the conclusion that they are better off out of it.I really have nothing to do with the Ex, unless the children are involved.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    What is the difference between Divorced and Single?   If you are divorced and not attached (cos then you would have attached down right), then you are certainly single   Mooks

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Five years now :) I put single on my profile, without hesitation.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Especially after discovering that my 'separated' lover was only so because he worked in Adelaide during the week and went home to his wife and kids at weekends! Some people seem to have a very elastic interpretation of the word. I'd much prefer folks to be honest. I may be 'separated' in my head, but am technically still married...and say so, even when we're as sexless as monks!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    It all comes down to the perspective of the person looking at the status... if the person looking at "Separated" doesn't want a part of it then I believe putting Single doesn't help much as when they finally meet you they will probably have the same reaction upon hearing "Separated" as they would have in reading it. Sure they may have warmed up a little to we the separated but a leopard can't change its spots.I am Separated pending Divorce early next year.There is no physical/emotional attachment to my Ex so, for all intents and purposes, I am Single however I prefer to be up front in my status and details.IMUO if the person has an issue with what you put in your profile and you are being open and honest then 'Next'... there are plenty of others out there who will be more understanding and appreciative of the honesty.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I had that offer and there is NO way I would confuse the issue and blur the lines even though he was some of the best sex I've had in my life. When it's over, it's over!- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    When you're divorced you are single. When you no longer live in the same house and share finances you are single. When you have been apart for at least 18 months .

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    THAT would pee me off also... It really peeves me the way people are judged by others criteria. This is a sex site looking to link people up for some fun times. But still we find some females trying the ole ' looking for love angle'. ? My message to those is... Look for fun first, if something developed out of that... Good for you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Separated means you're still emotionally attached, just not physically. So if you are looking for NSA, casual encounters and are not a relationship, then I think "separated" works well.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'grand_poobah' Separated means you're still emotionally attached, just not physically. Just means, I'm not divorced, not a high priority right now.All it means to me is, technically I'm attached.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Because I am... I suppose I leave it as such because it lets people know that I have responsibilities, I'm not footloose and fancy free but have the issues that come from being once seriously attached (kids, financial stuff, extended family). I'm very definitely unattached though and would do the same as you, justforfunisall, there's no hope in hell that I'd go back there. Ewww! Funny how the thought of fucking someone who once really did it for you can turn you right off.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes' Seperated is a stale mate it may go either way.... a holding patern. If you consider yourself single then say so.I once spent over an hour filling out an e harmony form and stated seperated as it was early on .......at the conclusion they said this site is for singles and refused my profile. There was no option to go back and change it so wasted an hour of my life....I wonder f I could put my sexual desires in that profiles? Christians don't have a sense of humour !Bastards got me on that one too !

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    separately single??? I'd never actually thought about it before your OP. I have separated on my profile and because I don't want to pay for it. I'm VERY single. SOOOOO single in fact that if anyone mentions anything remotely close to the 'r' work ..... RUUUUUUNNNNNNN!I'll leave separated there because I haven't signed the dotted line.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    6 years ago

    The issue still seems unresolved because in the profile settings you can specify that you are: single/separate/divorced/married/ask me But in the "looking for" settings, the options are different, you can only specify: Attached/Unattached And in the search term settings you can only specify: Looking for me/or not Maybe these three different sets of terms are causing problems for people ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    5 years ago

    I'm separated but not divorced. I am most definitely not attached. However I do still live with my ex as we are great friends (only) and are selling our home.

  • Sawadee

    Sawadee

    5 years ago

    As far as I'm concerned ' you are not attached but merely living out the inevitable that comes with being separated. You are just as unattached now ' as you will be later... Good to see you and your ex are mature enough to see things through in such a amicable fashion. The world is now your oyster..