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Is cam play considered cheating on your partner
October 14 2009
Comments
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playfulminx
15 years ago
The fact that he interacted with another human being in a sexual way crosses the line in my opinion. What's more concerning is that this interaction has encouraged one woman to try and convince him to meet her. Who knows where it could have gone from there if his wife didn't find out?Sometimes it's not about the technicality of whether someone had an affair. He clearly opened a channel that didn't include his wife but included several other women. He shared himself with others. He may as well have had an actual physical affair as I bet his wife wouldn't feel that much worse than she already feels now.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have heard women say that a guy is cheating if he wanks to a picture in playboy magazine... so yeah... whatever. Cheating is a question for the couple. No doubt she felt "cheated" and that's the only guide. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
15 years ago
I am sure I have said this before but if you are doing it and your partner doesn't know about it - it's cheating - on the otherhand if your partner knows....well then it is a whole heap of fun
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RHP User
15 years ago
For the record' I've never had a cam experience but I did swap some sexy exchanges once.... Did I feel like I cheated ? No.. not really.. It was'nt a physical exchange' and I definately did not fall in love nor did I do anything to give that impression to the girl in question... so as expected it just fizzled out. But I can imagine that a cam situation could be far more inticeing than just words' so I think it really gets back to the personality of the person and how they deal with it.. If the person has a fragile personality and readily grabs onto whats being offered' then yes it could be a concern. But if it's a fleeting connection.. just a exchange between 2 people who will never lay a hand on eachother.. I think its OK but Im unsure... part of me says go for it''' the other part says beware. Me thinks' this columb will be the same at the end as the start... Undecided...
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RHP User
15 years ago
I think whatever one partner does behind another partners' back....hiding it because they know the other would get upset....is cheating. Whatever it is. Whether it be chatting...camming...or actual fucking. If he didnt think she would get upset....then he wouldnt have been hiding it.And Im sure if the shoe was on the other foot...and it was HER that was camming with other guys....he would feel the same.Just my opinion...BJxxxPS...this is why I became a swinger....so I COULD cam and chat with other guys....and not have to hide it...knowing that whoever I was seeing at the time would be ok with it...as I would be with him doing the same.....as long as we were both open and honest about it with each other. Its the sneaking and hiding that hurts.
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RHP User
15 years ago
As MissBJ said, and I paraphrase, if the partner would be upset it's cheating and the lies and betrayal are really what makes it hurt.I think that if a person needs to find fulfilment, emotional or sexual, with others while hiding that fact it is a definite symptom that something is wrong with the relationship.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thanks guys...it is a hard (no pun intended lol) subject. My opinion is yes he cheated. He shared a sexual experience with someone else - and he kept it from his partner. Im with you BJ - I enjoy watching cams (I such a voyeur lol)...and I enjoy chatting...but I am very open about this with partner and my friends. It is easy to split hairs on whether he cheated or not - he seriously believes because they didnt actually meet in person...he has only done the "wrong thing". But she believes there has been a betrayal of trust. Whether this is worth ending a marriage of 15yrs...I really dont know. But I am enjoying reading other's opinions. cheers :-)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Any sexual liason, whether on cam, on phone, or text msgs without the knowledge of ur partner is cheating...Period
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RHP User
15 years ago
And here's how i see it... but theres 2 parts .....Part 1: Only he knows if he cheated....its was in his head... sex exsits in the brain ultimately and he knows what his brain was doing...but that kinda doesnt matter...if she SEEs it as cheating.. then cheating it is in her mind...if she wants to end the marriage over it.. then it reallycomes down to her mind..... and for him...whether in his mind he actually cheated isnot the question, but if he wants to save his marraige.. then can he not do it again ... there is no point staygin in a marriage if he WANTS to cheat andshe cant accept it....... PART 2: FOr her is it really about trust....if she really trusts her husband then wld she listen to what he is saying... especially since he wasnt able to be open with her in the first place.....perhaps her reaction says more about herself or other parts of their relationship than it is about his behaviour and her trust. if trust and love and more importantly understanding was embedded in their relatuionshp...perhaps he would have felt able to share...and they could both listen to each other ....the fact it was secret speaks volumes in the first place...and given her reaction...i'm not surprised!! THey both need to really talk and really lsiten to each other and themselves. 2b :) .... Ps...2b advice posts are the opinion of 2b only and do not constitute professional advice of any sort. Please consult an appropriately trained professional before following any advice in this post.lol **Copyright 2b 2009
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RHP User
15 years ago
Yes it is...if your partner is not aware it is cheating..for sure!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Of course it is!!!! My ex did this with a few guys behind my back...even met up with them,but the point is that sex & intimacy, your body & lust is the special right & priviledge of your partner only.To give that to others is total disrespect of that right & trust, unless it's a mutually happy agreement with both parties.Yes anything sexual with someone other than your partner is cheating!!!
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coastcpl
15 years ago
Not only is it a form of cheating it is also dishonest and NO relationship will survive with that attitude. While I agree he didn't have an "affair" but because his partner didn't know, the intent was there....bad luck mate....not on.
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RHP User
15 years ago
wow, I am glad that so many people have similar views to my own. I have said this before and been shot down as being a prude...If it is hidden then it's dishonest and there are massive trust issues with that. I feel totally reinforced in my beliefs now. Thanks Guys!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sorry but I think this is a load of crap. If masturbating on cam is cheating then masturbation is cheating. Which means breathing for a man (and about 10% of women) is cheating. If impure thoughts are cheating then everyone has cheated - or they just are lying to themselves - which many do. Physical interactive sex is cheating any thing else is just wishing to cheat. There is a difference. If you could have caught a sexually transmitted disease/infection then you have cheated - in my opinion. It takes a lot of self control to refuse to act on your natural desires (a relationship of over 2 years being an unnatural state IMO). If given the opportunity to have a physical interactive sex act with another party and choosing not to then the line has not been crossed. Anything less is approaching the line. One of the wonderful shades of grey in life that many wish to paint in black and white. This does not mean that a relationship partner should have no issue with the behaviour. They may feel betrayed but they have been betrayed by intent not action. It is all a question of property rights. People in a relationship feel the other person is their personal property. Any action, or intent to act, they treat like people do when their car or house or mobile phone is approached. Some people have no qualms sharing. Others freak out when someone gets within a metre of the property. Some are so offended when their property is touched or even approached they will kill over it. This applies to sex partners, cars, houses, mobile phones. A sign that someone takes their property overly seriously is that they mark it. Car stickers, decoration, wedding ring, tattoo. Funny how tattooing someone else's name on your body is a property claim. A good sign a relationship is on its way out is failure to wear the property claim items - rings, gifts etc. I always felt marriage should be a renewable contract with an expiry date - that way its value would always be renewed or not.
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RHP User
15 years ago
The marriage of 15 years did not break up because of a bit of on cam wanking. It broke up for the reasons that the spouse was online. 15 years is a very long time to stay faithful and approaching the line can be a thrill all in itself. But lack of communication, lack of intimacy, lack of trust and honesty - those are the causes of the break up. It broke because there was insufficient glue to hold them together. Sometimes the glue is pure - unconditional love by one party. (The english comedian Omid Djalili had a great skit on wife's unconditional love for her children and completely conditional love for her husband.) Often the glue is impure - fear of the unknown, greed, fear of losing "a perfect marriage", fear of what others will think, lack of self respect. At least now a divorced person (particularly female) is not looked down on as a failure (to the same extent) as 20-40 years ago. Some people make a really good living out of it ...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Slowhands..u are so wrong. That relationship probably broke up for many reasons, not just the wanking on Cam... Are you saying that if you were/are in a relationship, you would have no problem with your partner having webcam sex with another male, without your knowledge???? Or having sexy text or phone calls??? The main problem with that stuff is it almost always leads to a meeting in person......I should know cause it happened to me. If u are in a relationship you shouldnt be doing that..If you have to do that, dont get into a relationship.Thats why, so long as i am on this site, i will never get into a relationship. The day i do, i will cancle my profile.....
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