Is charm a disappearing art?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I had a coffee date with a very nice man the other day. I don't normally do that, actually go out and talk on a normal kind of date. I did this because he said he was not into one night stands. That he wanted more than a quick roll in the hay.   He was charming, a George Cloony look alike, silver fox and immaculate.   We talked and it got to the time when I told him my address and he could follow me home.   I thought only to have that first kiss, just to see if there was any spark, just a little taste.   He was up front with me and he said, he felt desire for me. He said what do you think? I said I am not sure In my mind I am thinking, lets go home lets kiss first lets see how I respond. Lets take our time lets, maybe leave it at the kiss and not rush to the bedroom.   he said ok if your not sure, then lets go, I will walk you to your car.   he shut down and shut me out in a blink of an eye.   I was put on the back foot. So when we go to the car he went in for the kiss, I thought ok lets see how that goes and he pecked my like he would a friend and walked off.   so listen with your ears and your eyes. Wait and sometimes ask for feed back Like ok , your not sure..so what do you think you might be sure about, how would you like it to go from here?   In hindsight its a good thing, for in that nano second I think I was not in control and that always unsettles me, as those that know me know I am always in control of things.   men like that are dangerous for me.   LadyT , settling her ruffled feathers

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I couldn't agree more with the above. Charm, laughter, body language and most importantly being open and prepared to listen. Isn't one of the most enjoyable times during that first encounter where you actually have a 'click', feel more relaxed, comfortable and at the same time more aware of everything. That point where converation becomes not only interesting, but enjoyable and natural. Where you stop trying to figre one another out and just get involved with being yourself, in that monent. Sure there is a time and place for everything, but a little charm, openess and laughter makes for more fun ;)- Posted from rhpmobile

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  Beachlover1999

  11 years ago

  I am definitely listening and learning O' wise ladies of the forum! I think some younger folk (males) might listen and learn........ :))))

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  chevtrek

  11 years ago

  I have always been a charmer and hell it gets you what you need. When I was in my 20s friends nick named me honey talk. At the same time I have noticed manners have declined.

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  And it would be like asking Meeka to act like a gentleman while doing so. It is reading between the lines Miss Freya and I say warning, warning to all.Even strap-ons come with consumer warnings, like drink copious amounts of milk and if not used properly, you may seek medical advice.Yes Charm indeed.Mado

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  To charm? or to be charming?I (Mrs) find meeting anyone for the first time to be quite intimidating, I always seem to feel awkward pauses and if things seem uncomfortable I just get quieter and quieter. I must admit though that I think I have nearly mastered the art of listening - well maybe.... oh alright; I can look interested!It really is not hard to charm most people though, is it not just another form of flirting? Being attentive, making eye contact, remembering (at least parts of the conversation ) to be able to refer to at later times.My biggest problem though is one I really cant control and it usually can be found in an awkward moment, providing a very interesting outcome... and red faces ( usually mine). Its called FOOT in MOUTH - have I perfected that art! sheesh! Ah well, it does break the tension! lolMrs Sweaty...

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  Smilingwithfun

  11 years ago

  Its amazing to see the amount of communication done now, without it being face to face. Facebook, twitter, internet dating etc. You even have people who email each other even though they sit side by side in an office. Is charm disappearing or is it hard to use when not face to face?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Not sure if I have been insulted or not? Time for me and Strappy to take a break I think. :-/

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100' Not sure if I have been insulted or not? Time for me and Strappy to take a break I think. :-/ I Just like your sense of humor, I have had a giggle at many things you have said.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Do not lead with the line "Hullo darl... how bout a root!" ... tis about as charming as a slap in the face with a week old kipper.   Additionally, listening is good, active listening is better, be sincere in your active listening responses and show empathy for what the lady/gentleman is saying.   Fake charm is anti-charm, again with a kipper!

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  foreign_lover

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Smilingwithfun' Its amazing to see the amount of communication done now, without it being face to face. Facebook, twitter, internet dating etc. You even have people who email each other even though they sit side by side in an office. Is charm disappearing or is it hard to use when not face to face? Interesting to see this thread pop-up!I'm very traditional in the old-fashioned sense of courting and the like (okay okay, no funny language or archaic rituals, but i hope you get my drift). Wittyness does not seem to interest younger women, neither does being "a good listener". With the more mature ladies, there i can flirt and charm as Freya so eloquently described (but to a lesser degree, nobody out-does James Bond!)I don't know why, but it's a pity cause in that charming aspect you'd find so many qualities that makes things go "click" on the intellectual side.Lady Tuscan, maybe he was just being (too) courteous and didn't get the hint?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  please explain.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Sounds like a saccharin version of pussy whispering, i.e. less than honest con job.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  You have a couple of bottles of a good champange and a couch at the ready seems to work for some of the ladies of the forums ;P

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I know exactly what you mean. Looking at floor, shuffling feet, feeling my face growing hot, trying desperately to think of something to say, and generally coming out with something along the lines of 'that dress really takes away the sharp edges of your ugly face'. Not fun. In answer to learned OP and others, charm would be nice, but courtesy is also vanishing. It is one thing to be rude to make a joke, and I do it a lot, but just following the simple please..thank you...no, you go first sort of thing is a wonderful way of putting people at their ease. Some of Freya's tips are great - speak slowly, watch distances etc. Some are harder. Outside of a pool I can't dip my chin, and I can't cock my head as she suggests, but then again I can't head my cock so there you go.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I don't think charm is dying out, you just have to demand it and ask for it. Guys I think are inherently lazy and will try and get away with as little effort as possible.For me, I love to be charming, love to elicit a smile from a woman because I have made them feel good, guess that goes down to the core of what makes me hot, is making a woman hot, making her feel good, making her feel something because of me, my actions, or thoughts of words.Charm can come in so many forms, just a simple compliment, or the fact that you notice the little things. My tips for charm school for boys or girls, is treat them as you would like to be treated, flash a nice smile and compliment, the fact that you notice something about them that may take more than just a casual glance is a great way to break the ice.I think one can maintain charm as well as sex appeal and be down right naughty, guess it is the difference between charming and sleaze?But give me a lady that likes to be charmed over someone super hot and without manners or class.

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  Meeka said she is getting good at it. he he Manage expectations,under promise and over deliver. he heStand back a little, dip your chin and cock your head a little. he heOften meeting someone new can be a nerve wracking experience. he heHow to meet and engage with strangers. he heYou are a funny bunch, surely there is some humor to be found with all this.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Meeka100'Not sure if I have been insulted or not? Time for me and Strappy to take a break I think. :-/ its better than the Sunday papers, what would we read without you?

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Exactly what response did you expect from the guy when you've replied with a statement like "I'm not so sure I feel that desire"?? You were honest, which is good. However, the bloke was clearly not wishing to waste any more of your time or his. I'll demonstrate this with another story. I was 24, and times were a little tough, so I decided to start looking for an interstate driving job. A job at an express freight company running Melbourne - Adelaide, or Melbourne to Sydney as the other centres were all B-double. Anyone will tell you, that interstate driving is a minimum age of 25 years old with 5 years experience. I had the experience but not the age. Anyways, I was called down to Melbourne to fill out an application form. I presented myself down at the office, and after about 20 applications prior to that and getting told after the application process I was too young I was already expecting it. My opening line was "before I fill anything out can you get insurance for under 25?" "No" was the reply. I walked out. As I was getting back in the car to go home, some guy from the office came out and said"where do you think you're going?" "I think it's an easy question don't you? You can't get insurance for under 25, I'm 24, and don't have the time or the patience to be fucked around applying for a job that I won't get!" I said. "Don't be such a hot headed prick" came the stern reply. "And come back inside and fill out the forms." Needless to say, I started the car and drove off. I may be a hot headed prick, but respect is respect, and I don't blame the guy. - Posted from rhpmobile

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