RHP

RHP User

F67

Is happiness a choice?

August 14 2013

I recently read an article about a young man who had lost both his arms and his legs.His parents could no longer care for him and so they arranged for him to go and live in a nursing home. When the ambulance came for him, the attendants asked him if he knew about the place he was going to ,he said ''It really doesn't matter,because I have chosen to be happy there''. So much has been written about happiness,how elusive it seems to be,do you think you could make a choice to be happy in the face of such adversity,or maybe you already have?

Comments

  • sweetgem

    sweetgem

    11 years ago

    Except for natural disaster and accidents such as, plane crash due to technical problems, and car accident where one was smashed by another. Other than these scenarios, everything else is done by choice. So Freya77, happiness is a choice in my eyes :-)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Agreed happiness is a choice , except for things we cant control , happiness is in your hand most of the time.

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    Freya, seeing a child, especially one of your own, hurt. Fingers in doors, cuts, burns, choking on a peanut, god help anything seriously wrong. When they are at the age where you can not tell them it will be better soon. It is a horrible feeling that we have no choice to feel happy.We can be happy that it is only for a short period of time, and knowing it will be better soon ourselves. When they sting it stings. They do not know what choice is, just for that few months.Mado

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have had very few times of happiness, but this has not impelled me to a warm bath with a razor blade. My view is that happiness is not a big deal; recently I have read a couple of articles about how social engagement and finding meaning in things (no no not religion) are far more important than being happy. This is exemplified, perhaps, by Freya and others who demonstrate an unending curiosity. Don't misunderstand, I make good jokes and often, and I make loud noises when I orgasm, and I clap and hoot when qld wins the state of origin. But I just don't really get, or care about, happy.As to choosing happiness, my view is that most of our lives are beyond choice, and sometimes when we actually do choose, we don't really know what we are choosing.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That is such a sad story, so thanking all the blessing of life I have now. I strongly feel that happiness is not something we choose, we have it or we don't. Athletic good looking rich and successful can still be in daily despair, I see it a lot. Destitute, next meal a hope, friends a need but never a frown. We don't get to pick to be happy or to be sad. The card we are dealt make us who we are. How I wish I could give the sad a smile even if just for a small while.Despair should not mean lost hope, its about learning to live with it and finding things that make them forget. Is the glass half full or half empty. Both are true and its a shame we can not pick which we prefer. It is humanity and our need to be social that makes many inexorably sad and others hopelessly happy despite what luck has come or gone their way.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    While we cannot control what challenges may come across our paths or the actions of others we are in total control over how we react to them. So happiness is a choice for me, I also figure I have it pretty good, no matter how bad things get for me in a country like this I always think someone would be happy to trade places and have my life! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I don't really know. It's easy I think to say "make a choice and be happy" then just flick that switch to happy. I think saying its a choice is a little far fetched. However, where I do see a choice, is in making a decision to make your life happier. Be it to choose to leave a partner, or whatever. While it will make a difference, it's not going to be an instant, like I think so many will advocate it to be. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Agree. Unless there are mental or chemical considerations at play... ... the majority of us choose our attitude and demeanor. I've been counseling a friend who has gone through a very difficult break up, suffering emotional abuse and manipulation and feels trapped by her experience. Her first step is to believe she DESERVES to be happy.... so she must make the choice to want to be happy, or remain unhappy. And we all want to be happy.... even if that means we just don't want to be unhappy. DG

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    We want control as to who or what comes into our lives so that we are happy. However things we can not control such as no arms or lags we have to decide how we deal with it and how it will affect our happiness. Just thinking about it I can say it is not easy.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Yes I agree with the peeps above. You choose to be happy. You choose to let grudges and bitterness go. However, I totally understand why sometimes that is difficult to do. I know a few people who have told me horrific stories about their childhood... They can't forgive nor can they forget and I don't blame them at all. Freya what an inspirational man, would I be able to take loosing my arms and legs then being placed in a home. OMG I just don't know, I am in general a very positive person and I would hope that I could be as positive. Maybe not straight away though, but at the end of the day why be miserable? It isn't going to change anything so choosing to be happy is a much better option.

  • Paradisepair

    Paradisepair

    11 years ago

    You can choose how you react to something, but over the years I've learnt to not just assume that everyone can do it. It's a life changing moment the first time you wake up to the concept of choosing not to go towards the darkness when the shit hits the fan, and I think to get to that point people often have to be at their very lowest, or be coming out of it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Happiness is most definitely a choice for me. With regards to circumstances beyond my control, I think the key is accepting that things are as they are instead of getting caught up in the reasoning behind them (what, why, if only etc.). I see adversity of any kind as an opportunity to take stock, re-evaluate and perhaps change direction that possibly would not have been considered otherwise.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A glorious winter's day such as today! Waking up early and going paddling out in the bay with a boatload of pink ladies, playing with the dolphins!!!! These women are the most inspirational women I have ever met & I can only aspire to be one of them. So many smiling, happy faces, proud & motivated, loving life like there is no tomorrow........... Gypsy💋- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Look out for us😝😝😝 Gypsy 💋- Posted from rhpmobile

  • jensta

    jensta

    11 years ago

    Life is many lessons ... many ups & downs we can make the most out of any situation worry is wasteful ... does not change a thing I choose to be Happy

  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    11 years ago

    Freya - I was only reading about 'happiness' yesterday and why some of us struggle with finding happiness or some of us even struggle being happy - keeping that guard up for the happy times to crumble.... In my line of work - I work very closely with a little girl who is almost 2yrs old... She is completely blind - can see no shadows, no bits of light, it's just total darkness. The condition that she has has put her in the category that she is the only girl in the world with this... And I'm fortunate enough to work with her and be inspired by her courage. She will judge no one by how they look, only with how they treat her and speak to her, she will never see a rainbow, nor a sunrise or sunset, she will never see flowers, the ocean, she will never see her parents smile at her and see how proud they are of her! But this little girl knows no different and she is so happy! Her giggle is contagious... I myself struggle with happiness as I feel I don't deserve it.....but really I do deserve it... We all do! None of us are perfect, and there will always be a hurdle to tackle! There are many times that I just want to give up, but then I won't let any of my friends give up on themselves so I keep tackling these hurdles.... The true friends will help me and well the users will contact me when they need or want something. Great topic op

  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    11 years ago

    Freya - I was only reading about 'happiness' yesterday and why some of us struggle with finding happiness or some of us even struggle being happy - keeping that guard up for the happy times to crumble.... In my line of work - I work very closely with a little girl who is almost 2yrs old... She is completely blind - can see no shadows, no bits of light, it's just total darkness. The condition that she has has put her in the category that she is the only girl in the world with this... And I'm fortunate enough to work with her and be inspired by her courage. She will judge no one by how they look, only with how they treat her and speak to her, she will never see a rainbow, nor a sunrise or sunset, she will never see flowers, the ocean, she will never see her parents smile at her and see how proud they are of her! But this little girl knows no different and she is so happy! Her giggle is contagious... I myself struggle with happiness as I feel I don't deserve it.....but really I do deserve it... We all do! None of us are perfect, and there will always be a hurdle to tackle! There are many times that I just want to give up, but then I won't let any of my friends give up on themselves so I keep tackling these hurdles.... The true friends will help me and well the users will contact me when they need or want something. Great topic op

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Happiness is a state of mind. What a man he is Freya and what a damn good attitude he has given his adversities.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Touching....really touching. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    it's not like he can run away from the place if he does become unhappy now, can he...   he's a better man than I to take that attitude. fuck the ambulance driver.   May he be at peace.   xknots

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    How does one believe, with conviction, that they DESERVE to be happy?? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    the full range of my emotions. I am happy with that. *inserts an emoticon with a hand holding up a peace sign*

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Have you ever heard of man called James Vuijicic also known as Nick Vujicic??If anyone wants to know what "TRUE Happiness" is all about look him up!FOXY

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'sirlurkalot'I don't really know. It's easy I think to say "make a choice and be happy" then just flick that switch to happy. I think saying its a choice is a little far fetched. I don't think choosing to be happy is as simple as flicking a switch. When you* have just lost your job, the rent is overdue, you're not allowed to see your kids and you have a toothache, it sounds crazy to say you should choose to feel happy. I think the choice you can make is to see the good and positive things right in front of you. That could be the sun shining, a stranger smiling at you, or knowing your kids are not bullied. Or maybe it comes from choosing to make others happy. Possibly even by doing something as simple as giving a white rose to a stranger...       * Not referring to SL, but making a general statement.

  • Coops27M

    Coops27M

    11 years ago

    Be positive and you will attract other positive people to your life. Don't dwell on the things that are out of your control! I find this helps me lead a full happy life even when going through difficult times. *sings* always look on the bright side of life- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I beleive in the pursuit for happiness. To choose to be happy is choosing to be content. Which is fine - but not for me. Not yet- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    everyone for your wonderful thought provoking posts.I personallythink that happiness is not a state that anyone can maintain for every moment,but I do think that we can re-frame our thinking and become perhaps more positive and appreciative of what we have. Mado when we feel anothers pain ,particularly our childs, I think that in those times we struggle to be happy,but it is all about how we support our loved ones in those situations,we can choose to be negative or positive in our approach and maybe not let them see our fear. Mr.King,your words reminded me of something HH Dalai Lama said,''the interests of others is the best form of self interest''.A useful life while not necessarily bringing us happiness,can provide us with some contentment....and in my opinion,contentment far outweighs the highs and lows of happiness and its absence.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya77' everyone for your wonderful thought provoking posts.I personallythink that happiness is not a state that anyone can maintain for every moment,but I do think that we can re-frame our thinking and become perhaps more positive and appreciative of what we have. Another Dalai Lama quote: "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." And slickz, I disagree with content and happy being the same thing and would like to hear your thoughts on this.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Needed to read this today..feeling a little lost..is happiness a choice? I guess so as I myself have a lot to be happy for.we can be our own worst critics and fuck it (for lack of a better word) I am choosing happy !!! :)- Posted from rhpmobile

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    11 years ago

    You are right there, though it is a hard way to find happiness for such miserable moments. Never the less it feels good to see comfort felt.