Is intimacy the new black?

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Euphemistically, having sex was often called 'being intimate'. I think it means different things for different people but in the swinging scene, if it's a party and I've just met you or see you occasionally at parties, I'm emotionally detached, so it's JUST SEX!!!! My struggle in understanding of the term intimacy is with FWBS or FB you might see regularly ...one on one. If you just meet, lip lock and then fuck, ok, I understand it in those circumstances. However, if you meet, light banter, flirt, seduce ... do you not have intimacy with the kissing, the touching, the talk, the sex? For me, I can't do just the 'hokey pokey' (too cute btw) hence my move out of the swinging scene. I find sex like that empty and unsatisfying. Great sex starts in my mind, then involves my body and I need to have a connection with someone so they understand how i like to have sex and the things that will make it great for me and vice versa of course ... that connection then comes intimacy for me. For me ... great sex involves intimacy :) Mary xx

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  For me, good sex starts and concludes with a connection and good intimacy. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Such was lost in the seduction of sexual endeavour that it was becoming more like takeaway v restaurant. Nothing arouses me more than seducing my hopeful lover, it starts with the message, the introducing line, not cheesy, but genuine and kind, a Madingley kiss to the cheek and some giggling banter (something so sexy in watching a lady laugh). I want my partner (woman or couple) to feel empowered and confident in themselves, I want to build up a relationship with them, share something, no matter how big or small. I think as we, as men find our place in modern society, we are more confident in expressing or desires and true feelings, that fine line between Lumber Jack and Metrosexual. I for one love getting to know some intimate facts about her, what she likes and doesn't, her dreams and desires, what she wears (perfume, dress and lingerie), this avoids the awkward moments when we meet. I love meeting for the first time, mentally undressing her, being chivalrous, being charming, yet avoiding being cocky. Being a country guy, I am finding that woman like being treated like a lady first before being playful. Over my growing years, I find my orgasims are so much stronger of there is some sort of connection. So yes, intimacy is the new black of you like, or for some it was always the classic James Bond Tuxedo, it never went away, it was just other fleeting styles were being tried out. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Is intimacy essential to good sex? for me, yes How do you establish intimacy in a swinging situation?chatting first, spending time with the person, banter.

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  happy0450

  8 years ago

  For great sex and the sexual journey with a new or any partner, intimacy is critical...otherwise, for me, masturbation is preferable - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Yeah, you're spot on. I'm no longer interested in sex that doesn't have the potential for that intimate connection, and the post-orgasm kissing and stroking has become one of my favourite aspects of sex (god, how vanilla is that!). Not to say I don't still love filthy, sweaty, kinky fucking, but also not to say filthy, sweaty, kinky fucking can't be intimate. It absolutely can. So yep, I'm with you. Intimacy all the way.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Sex is pointless for me without intimacy. I am a strongly emotive being so without intimacy there is no connection. As far as the new black goes, for those that are self conscious of what others think yes it could be as all new blacks are fads that sheeple follow. And it seems that there is much nowadays very sheeple about sexuality and sex. Can't comment on the swinging side of things but why would intimate times be any different after all it is about knowing the other or others in this case in minute detail. Whether there be one person or ten it should make no difference

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  itsjustsex13

  8 years ago

  I think some people connect with others a lot quicker than some. I belive it is possible to have sex with intimacy on the first night of meeting if connections are made quickly - Posted from rhpmobile

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  EarthQueen

  8 years ago

  I think deeper connection makes everything better. For me eye contact is the most intimate thing and I love to use it if I am with someone I really like.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  ...ever! - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  For me means a real connection...someone I actually want to sleep with ..not just have sex with Q

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  cat_n_the_hatter

  8 years ago

  For me one can not be without the other. In the world where everything resembles everything else while insisting to be entirely different one can feel to matter little. In monologues we rarely discover ourselves. We are all less than we wish to be. People want to be close to passion because passion is contagious. It makes the most of you. We really want someone who we know well (requires time and effort) but, controversially, only in that space where break in communication happens is where dreams emerge. Fear of losing the self in the process of becoming close may be a reason why some avoid intimacy. (Ms)

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  MsJonesy

  8 years ago

  For me. If there is no intimacy, nor interest in building intimacy, it a no go for me. My profile is fairly clear that I want a connection, that I am not interested in anything less than casual friendships; blow & go folk need not waste a message on me! That puts off a lot of people but that's okay, at least those who contact me are (usually) genuine.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  .....definitely makes sex better. Talking, caressing, kissing, flirting. Don't get me wrong, sometimes a quick fuck fulfills the need in the moment and Id imagine an orgy/party wouldn't present too many opportunities for intimacy but I dont doubt its possible for the people. That intimacy os what I desire the most in my journey here. It was missing from my marriage for a very long time. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  Quoting 'MsJonesy' For me. If there is no intimacy, nor interest in building intimacy, it a no go for me. My profile is fairly clear that I want a connection, that I am not interested in anything less than casual friendships; blow & go folk need not waste a message on me! That puts off a lot of people but that's okay, at least those who contact me are (usually) genuine. My thoughts exactly. Intimacy is key. Whether with a sexual partner or a best friend - it means a connection between people that is personal and warm, caring, trust, sharing experiences. I need that connection to enjoy sex - wild unbridled passion with a stranger can be fun and has been in the past but is not as satisfying as wild unbridled sex with a partner with whom I have a true connection. I enjoy basking in the afterglow, naked bodies lying next to each other. Having my hair and skin stroked, legs entwined. Touching and cuddling, spooning each other. Sleeping together and moving in sync as each turns and rolls over during the night. Getting to know each other's bodies and minds. A lazy breakfast in bed, a shower, coffee then a long kiss goodbye (or more sex!)... Much more satisfying for me. So if you want a quickie because you're not prepared to spend the time, move on to the next. My profile also reflects this....

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  Seachange

  8 years ago

  A must. For me sex is not just physically sharing myself. I need to have some connection, if not a strong connection, with someone. Seduction and flirting is a must at play, and not just the physical but some mental engagement. Sex to me is a very intimate affair and to some degree I have to let my guard down a little to fully embrace the moment with my lover. That's where passion kicks in for me as I want to have all of him and him I. Hence, even if the guy is hot, if I'm not mentally engaged, there won't be play. I have walked away from situations like that. Hot looking Neanderthals does nothing to stir my hormones. But that's just me.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  There has to be some kind of intimate connection when it come to any sexual encounter. From the deep lingering look in that partners eyes as you both pleasure each other. Be it hair pulling, back scratch,teeth grinding pain, or a hot deep breath in your ear or soft stroke over you nipples. You can't help but feel that deep connection in knowing each partner is in that amazing zone of extasy for that certain period of intence time together. Be it a deep n hard pounding or a slower sensuous rythym. Your life partner or a casual sexual rendezvous. Who ever is involved in these acts of mad passion. Are overcome with that unmistakable sensation we all know as intimacy.

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  RHP User

  8 years ago

  I've yet to meet a woman that doesn't melt with a dash of intimacy. Neck nibbles, back tickles, pre sex cuddles. I quite enjoy exploring a partners body slowly and assessing their body language and gauging what she may enjoy. - Posted from rhpmobile

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