F55
Is it all fair in Love and War?
June 20 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
OK.. firstly if some long legged sexy bitch is going to be standing at my doorway naked there is a stampede of testosterone charged men over 18 living here, so I'd have to get in line with my sons to get a poke at her whiskers (hehe) ..... secondly, if the kids werent home with half a dozen of their mates eating out my pantry and this bird showed up, I'd be wondering if I was actually dead and this was just the start of the rest of my life in heaven. Thirdly, my wife, after 25 years of marriage, ought to know what to expect of me when it comes to being presented with naked women at the doorstep begging to be fucked. Now, as for entrapment, if you are the kind of person who thinks that fidelity is all that is important in a relationship then you are not really the right woman for me so go right on and trap me every day for the next three years just to be certain bitch ..hehe. This kind of behaviour can only end in heartbreak. Instead of getting all worked up about infidelity you should start to think about a life together for the next 70 years... I mean really.... Do you really want to marry a lover content to root the same ol same for the next 70 years. Suck it up and deal with it... ask yourself "who loves you bebe?" and take a look at the person laying in bed next to you before you condemn that person for window shopping. :p Hugs stalky
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wannabyummymummy
15 years ago
The fact is that if the woman is that insecure about her relationship that she is willing to 'set her partner up' then there are trust issues on both sides, how could her trust her again??the fact is that people cheat for a lot of reasons but mostly i think they do it when there are things not right at home and instead of dealing with them they go elsewhere.In the swinging scene though i think it is a little different for couples, if they are both aware of what is going on and everything is open and honest then the potential for harm is so much less, from others that we have spoken with it seems the ones that fall apart in this lifestyle are the ones who got into it for the wrong reasons in the first place, ie to fix the relationship or one is in so the other tags along people with these hangups going in are only doomed. However the couples who are secure in thier relationship to start with and are both on the same page just have a ball and are great people to be around.As for whether or not what you describe is entrapment?? well in my view absolutely! why on earth would you want to do that to someone you claim to love?? just baffles me.I really only have two rules which are complete deal breakers:1) hit me or abuse my kids and see you later!!2) lie to me or do things behind my back (see rule number 1)Other than that i am open to whatever makes us both happy i would never 'set up' a partner in the first place so would not be an issue but if i found he was playing without my blessing would be goodnight Irene!! it's not about the fooling around it is about trust without it you are done for.Just my view of course will eagerly await the other responses on this one.
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RHP User
15 years ago
personally if i found my man on here or any other site like this...by hell i would get myself a profile and conn him and yes i would advise others to do the same.... your right it will end in heart break but as far as im concerned its already over cause he is on here and one thing i would never tollerate is cheating and whether he has all ready or not he is on here so he is planning too as for the other thing...hell no would i ever trap my man like that, thats just showing you dont trust him, so why on earth would you do that but stalky if i could find that man that just wanted to fuck me for the next 70 years....id be in roxxy heaven, sorry mate roxxy
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xFunlovingx
15 years ago
ENTRAPMENT... If people cannot communicate to their partners about these problems...then the marriage/relationship is doomed. If I found my man (assuming I had one) on these sites I would sit him down and talk to him about this in a calm and rational manner...if he wanted to play elsewhere and was adamant on it...I would leave the relationship. As for the prostitute, I don't know of any prostitutes that would allow to be used for entrapment....she certainly must have been on drugs and needed the money to support her habit. Also I agree with you Meeka, I don't think that you should set up a fake profile to "catch" out your partner, for that is entrapment as well. I read the Forum topic about a womans husband being on here and asked her if she was already on here on her profile or whether she had just made up this profile...hmmmm no answer from that question. I don't condone any married person being on here...but neither do I feel that they should be put down or rubbished. I don't know why they are looking outside their marriage and I don't live in their shoes...so I would never judge them. I believe it would be a tough decision to have that first "affair" and for most it is a last resort. When I was a working girl many moons ago, alot of married men used to come in and it really opens your eyes to why they feel they need to be with a prostitute or other women...it all came down to communication for them all....they had none at home. It amazes me that people can be in a marriage/relationship and they are comfortable enough to fart or burp or scratch their bits in front of their partners...but the hardest thing is to communicate!! In the end if you don't have the open and honest communication....you have nothing!! xFunlovingx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' OK.. firstly if some long legged sexy bitch is going to be standing at my doorway naked there is a stampede of testosterone charged men over 18 living here, so I'd have to get in line with my sons to get a poke at her whiskers (hehe) ..... secondly, if the kids werent home with half a dozen of their mates eating out my pantry and this bird showed up, I'd be wondering if I was actually dead and this was just the start of the rest of my life in heaven. Thirdly, my wife, after 25 years of marriage, ought to know what to expect of me when it comes to being presented with naked women at the doorstep begging to be fucked. Now, as for entrapment, if you are the kind of person who thinks that fidelity is all that is important in a relationship then you are not really the right woman for me so go right on and trap me every day for the next three years just to be certain bitch ..hehe. This kind of behaviour can only end in heartbreak. Instead of getting all worked up about infidelity you should start to think about a life together for the next 70 years... I mean really.... Do you really want to marry a lover content to root the same ol same for the next 70 years. Suck it up and deal with it... ask yourself "who loves you bebe?" and take a look at the person laying in bed next to you before you condemn that person for window shopping. :p Hugs stalky Absolutely true! Further to all that, we've never really allowed an environment within our marriage to exist where there is any other reason than to be completely honest in the first place, so cheating isn't something I need to get up close and personal with. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.If it were me, personally, I'd only be peeved that hubby hadn't waited for me to get home before ... um .. entertaining! Oh, so yes, it's entrapment.
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RHP User
15 years ago
I have spoken to a few married men on here and asked them why they are on here and a lot of guys seem to love their wives or at least have no intention of ever leaving them but they are here becuase the wife doesn't give them what they want sexaully or maybe not enough of it. Was wondering how those men would feel if their wives did that to them? That is set up a dummy profile to trap them. Would they think that was fair particulary since they were the ones cheating? Meeka.
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RHP User
15 years ago
the real problem is the age old eternal differences and lack of understanding between men and women. Women generally expect men to have a similiar mindset to them, and of course men rarely do when it comes to sex and many other things i guess.I seriously doubt that any man armed with the best of intentions could remain faithfull if SERIOUSLY persued by a nymph be she real or the spouse masquerading as something she isnt, in a setting that seemed "safe" its a lose lose situation.It is a test that a mere male just cannot pass. Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
il tell you something you all might find funny my cousins husband went to a party once...walked into a bedroom, there laying on the bed was a naked woman...he had no idea who she was, but she said to him...."come on lets fuck", she wasnt drunk, wasnt on any drugs...well ofcourse he jumped on and said lets go 8 months later this woman goes to my cousins work, very pregnant and tells her the baby belongs to her husband....the biggest kick in the teeth to my cousin wasnt the fact that he fucked some strange woman but the fact that they had been trying for a baby for years and couldnt she always said she would have forgiven his one night stand...but she couldnt forgive the fact her husband knew he was going to be a dad and he didnt tell her just thought i would tell you that little story...we might laugh and say a naked woman would never say come fuck me....but miracles do happen haha roxxy
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RHP User
14 years ago
Definately! I would never do that to someone. I'd get the proof (if there is any) in a much more discreet way rather than USE someone to set your man (or woman) up to cheat. Maybe he had NEVER cheated up until that moment... AND to use a prostitute who is as hot as, that no man in his right mind could resist, just to set him up? Far out.... that's the nastiest thing I've ever heard. Sweet
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RHP User
14 years ago
I like the balance you give the subject xfunlovingx. I go along 100% with all you said. I know of couples in the death-throws of their relationship who got a private detective onto the other to find out the truth of their suspicions. I guess in the 'swordedness' of it all, it was a means to an end. And it certainly did that, ended it. I am happy not to have to do these sort of underhanded tactics to any future/past partner as I'm just too damn honest coz I cannot stand the guilt. Learned that one early thank goodness. Good luck to those who need to be covert in their pursuits. Bad luck when and if it all comes undone. Be fair in your tactics and if you're the 'victim' finding out the truth, always be complete enough to see your own part in the equation, as you will have one, like it or not.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky' OK.. firstly if some long legged sexy bitch is going to be standing at my doorway naked there is a stampede of testosterone charged men over 18 living here, so I'd have to get in line with my sons to get a poke at her whiskers (hehe) ..... secondly, if the kids werent home with half a dozen of their mates eating out my pantry and this bird showed up, I'd be wondering if I was actually dead and this was just the start of the rest of my life in heaven. Thirdly, my wife, after 25 years of marriage, ought to know what to expect of me when it comes to being presented with naked women at the doorstep begging to be fucked. Now, as for entrapment, if you are the kind of person who thinks that fidelity is all that is important in a relationship then you are not really the right woman for me so go right on and trap me every day for the next three years just to be certain bitch ..hehe. This kind of behaviour can only end in heartbreak. Instead of getting all worked up about infidelity you should start to think about a life together for the next 70 years... I mean really.... Do you really want to marry a lover content to root the same ol same for the next 70 years. Suck it up and deal with it... ask yourself "who loves you bebe?" and take a look at the person laying in bed next to you before you condemn that person for window shopping. :p Hugs stalkyI can't believe we have a 'ranger running the country. It should be a blonde curly haired guy.... You've had some real pearls of wisdom recently Stalkster, this one of them - is it a bit quiet in the office ?? :-)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Meeka Meeka love your work.. If a partner wants to lay traps for their LOVED one then maybe it is lost anyway...Why dont they just share the pro and spark up..
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sadly I don't think most women's minds work that way Taipan. Only thing that is usually sparking up is WWIII.
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RHP User
14 years ago
It seems a little late to post something here and perhaps i'm sharing with an empty 'room' but i really enjoyed reading the perspectives here on this topic and have noticed that this kind of question seems to be a common thread. It seems the more profound issue here relates more to how a person who has to confront this issue SHOULD act (rather than could) when trust dissolves in an instant. Does the moral framework which underlies the relationship crumble and dissolve too? I am certainly inexperienced in upholding the kind of relationship that marriage entails but shouldn't more credit be given to the subtleties and subtext of the particular relationship under scrutiny? The original couple seem to be BF and GF, and while this is a setup for the deeper question it's difficult for me to appreciate what is driving this woman's decision to lay the 'trap'. Within the context of a married couple, one of whom discovers the other's infidelties it is easier to see and appreciate the emotional/moral hailstorm of choices that could lead to more vengeful/reckless actions. I'm inexperienced with posting and this is perhaps getting long-winded but, I grew up through divorce and it has definitely affected my appreciation of the house of marriage but having read a few of the topics in these forums it seems the older the poster the more tolerant and understanding they become, and of these they generally seem to allude that all storms subside and that trust, while fragile, is susceptible to neglect and indifference by both sides of any fight, that in the end someone just has to choose to bridge the gap. Perhaps i'll be involved in the kind of heartbreak you're suggesting and i would certainly hope to be capable of finding some way to reconnect with my partner, but i'm not so naive to believe it is as easy as pie. Perhaps another worthwhile question would be; Is forgiveness a milestone of age rather than experience? He says, the echoes fading.
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RHP User
14 years ago
My apologies to the moderators, i understand how it works now.
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RHP User
14 years ago
As always Stalky gives a unique and compelling view on things but have to love Funloving's post, there's one very knowledgeable woman in sexy boots!
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RHP User
14 years ago
That there are PI agencies, not pro's as such, that do this work. Cheers Nev
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sounds like a sure fire way to get yourself really hurt. Miss K
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xFunlovingx
14 years ago
I know about the female PI's that do this...I still class it as entrapment...but this story said that a prostitute was hired and that was what got me to reply. xFunlovingx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'TagDammit'..... It seems the more profound issue here relates more to how a person who has to confront this issue SHOULD act (rather than could) when trust dissolves in an instant. Does the moral framework which underlies the relationship crumble and dissolve too? I am certainly inexperienced in upholding the kind of relationship that marriage entails but shouldn't more credit be given to the subtleties and subtext of the particular relationship under scrutiny? ............ it seems the older the poster the more tolerant and understanding they become, and of these they generally seem to allude that all storms subside and that trust, while fragile, is susceptible to neglect and indifference by both sides of any fight, that in the end someone just has to choose to bridge the gap. .............. Is forgiveness a milestone of age rather than experience? Hey Mate. Welcome to the forums. Double welcome for being completely insightful. Is it as simple as someone stepping up and bridging the gap? Maybe not... people can grow apart as well as older... that kind of love that binds a couple together, does not always last forever, so we need ot learn to enjoy it while it lasts. But I do completely get the forgiving argument. . I know I've become more tolerant of infidelity as time goes by. I think this comes with understanding and appreciating just how important foregivness is in a lasting relationship. I'm not for a minute suggesting that we get into a groove of complacency and put up with shit... I'm just saying that we start to question the worth of hard and fast rules we've made for ourselves and others, and I find myself more than ever questioning the penalties to apply when someone has stepped outside of those arbitrary self determined rules... Meah... it's just like... once you've been pewked on a few times by your kids, you accept that it's going to happen sometimes but you love those kids no less..... ask me when I was 17 if I could love a person that spewed in my face and all over my shoulder regularly and you would get a very different answer. Being taken for granted is probably the biggest offence a person can do to a spouse.... no doubt, a lasting relationship requires constant attention..... Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
sure reads that way to me. How naive can any mature woman be? A healthy male will always take the gift horse without checking its teeth. Wake up, surely!!
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