M60
Is it all worth it
September 28 2016
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
But All is not lost... I know several couples, like ourselves, who are celebrating relationships that have lasted well into the double digits so far, including one couple who had their 50th wedding anniversary recently. Peachy
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RHP User
8 years ago
I could not care less.I do not believe we are wired electrically or biologically to mate for life.Well done to those who do...The last time I got hurt from a broken relationship, I was a fckn teenager...and I have not cared a fig since.ESPECIALLY if it was a break-up between two OTHER ppl... Honestly... "Who gives a fck??"
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RHP User
8 years ago
I agree things don't last like they used to - relationships, friendships, white goods. we live in the generation of instant gratification - it's a lot easier to replace than repair. Everyone's after the next thing to fulfill their lives/make them whole/make them happy. We are kind of like drug addicts in that the fix we get is never quite enough. But as far as love goes I think it's worth it. Yes it can feel like your soul is crushed to beyond repair when it doesn't work. The pay off is living and having loved though. You love and you learn. Everyone is different however, And I think holding onto the hope that you will love again desperately isn't a good thing. If you're lucky enough to stumble across it then fantastic! But actively searching adds the risk of thinking you've found it because you want it so badly, when in fact it was just a passing infatuation.
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usnow
8 years ago
Its all part of our throw away society we live in .Nothing lasts , people want the newest and latest toys and gadgets , when you want something better you ditch it ( mobile phones a classic example ) .We treat our marriages and partners the very same way . Usnow . PS , together 30 years by the way !
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RHP User
8 years ago
Honestly dont know anymore
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RHP User
8 years ago
At least with swinging it keeps sex alive and with no secrets x
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm a love sceptic....I don't believe in that crap - Posted from rhpmobile
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Livingandloving2
8 years ago
I personally think long term relationships can only ever be successful if both people truly believe that sticking together through the rough times will lead to a deeper connection on the other side. Most of our friends have not lasted- some are much happier apart and some bitterly regret not trying harder to mend their relationships. Mrs LAL - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
with Cavey50. I think we are not wired for the disney model of love and relationships. Sure it can happen, and if it does for you thats great.But I feel in this day and age we do not need the social contrivances of the past in order to make a society stable and safe. We do not need a family to be a baby factory to supply workers/fighters.These days ( imo ) it is all about personal freedom and happiness. Allowing people to be who they want to be. Personally, I love people. I love many people. I have trouble loving one person only. At this point in time, besides my family, I can think of at least a dozen people that I love (not physically). So to me love has become even more prolific, not less.
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chevtrek
8 years ago
Quoting 'Stirry' I'm a love sceptic....I don't believe in that crap - Posted from rhpmobile If society and people have gone to the dogs it means happy ever after has gone the same direction.
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RHP User
8 years ago
...that our disposable lifestyles plays a part in it.That in our First World culture of fast food and disposable TV's, cars, toasters, stereo's, coffee pods( I detest those things ),shopping bags and cosmetic surgeries....it's not that much of a stretch to dispose of our relationships at the first sign of strain.I was listening to the radio...RedFM...whilst working last week, and I'd regularly hear an add for a Perth legal firm that was offering their services in divorce settlement...targeted specifically at FIFO workers. The actors make it sound so simple, "They did all the hard work for me, I didn't even need to take any time off work andI could communicate with the ex all by email.." Awesome. You don't have to waste your R+R on silly stuff like divorce settlement...instead you can go straight to Bali or Phuket and enjoy the single life.
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LittleGiant
8 years ago
Relationships break up because people place unhealthy expectations on their significant other e.g. expecting that one person to cater to ALL of your needs. I'm not just talking sexual here - I mean emotional, financial, or whatever else can cause strain within a relationship when one person feels like the other isn't doing 'enough' to make them happy. I think people need to be realistic and understand that a traditional monogamous relationship just doesn't work for 'most' people. It's good to see people leaning towards to more alternative lifestyles to meet their needs - swinging, polyamory, open relationships etc. Miss Little xx
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Mischeviouslad
8 years ago
Love is a four letter word. Fuck is also a 4 letter word. Teen is a four letter word too. Chev, just stop mixing the 12 letters together and expecting a better outcome - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Personally I believe if you are looking outside a relationship for sex it is because you are either truly unhappy or basically an addict to sex. Sad If you don't believe in strong connections between people and loyalty to a person. I also believe it is a reflection of yourself what you search for and if you take time to really look and listen to your own behaviour maybe you will learn to look within sometimes instead of reaching out. Depends on your own character what choices you make. Each to there own every journey is different but I believe it's totally disrespectful treating people like pawns to be used and tossed aside. Unfortunately I did this and paid the price! There is enough porn and tools sold these days to satisfy yourself for a change if that's what's needed. But yet again that's your choice and is only about yourself. I totally believe the right person will always stand by your side, as I believe in the good in people always will. Find someone who is your reflection that's when life gets easier and talk talk talk :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Depends on your definition of love I guess..... Problem is, everyone's definition of what it means to love, show love, feel love is never going to be the same - Posted from rhpmobile
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LittleGiant
8 years ago
Quoting 'Hornyalltime72' Personally I believe if you are looking outside a relationship for sex it is because you are either truly unhappy or basically an addict to sex. Sad If you don't believe in strong connections between people and loyalty to a person. I couldn't disagree more. I think you can be totally loyal to a person without sex even coming into the equation - loyalty and having a strong connection with someone is about honesty, trust and sharing your life with someone - not just your genitals. Sex can be just a fun physical pastime - like playing basketball. Why am I disloyal because I might want to play teams to shoot hoops every now and then? Why is only wanting to have sex with your partner an indicator for a happy relationship? Biologically, humans just aren't designed/wired to only have sex with one person. It's not natural to be with one person forever. Why should we have to suppress our natural urges and make ourselves (and our partners) unhappy because society/religion/whoever says that it's wrong to have sex with people other than our partner? And why is it wrong? Anyway, if someone could help me down from my soap box before I break my ankle (it's a pretty damn high one) that'd be great... Miss Little xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
...while it's rare, some animal species are largely monogamous. Wolves, Swans, Eagles and Gibbons are an example.And we are the most intelligent, dominant species on the planet.All I think this proves is that there are no hard and fast, correct biological rules to relationships...regardless of species. There'll always be those that differ from the norm...and one day, evolution may deem them the most successful form. Who knows..
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Missb4u
8 years ago
Really don't know. I've been single for so long I start to doubt I could ever be in a relationship again. Doesn't mean I couldn't love again though or feel deeply for some one. I do wonder if it will ever happen again. I don't fixate on it and I know my happiness comes from within not from another person.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' Really don't know. I've been single for so long I start to doubt I could ever be in a relationship again. Doesn't mean I couldn't love again though or feel deeply for some one. I do wonder if it will ever happen again. I don't fixate on it and I know my happiness comes from within not from another person. exactly.
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RHP User
8 years ago
We need to love ourselves and who we are......before we can truly love someone else and not enough of us think we are worthy of love from another. ** disclaimer - I think this relates to others, me, I love who I am but think love is a crock.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Limited_Editionx
8 years ago
Really depends on your definition of what love actually is... some love never dies... but it doesn't mean you stay in a relationship. and looking at celebrities I am amazed that their relationships actually last as long as they do- look at their schedules, media harassment, lack of privacy, workload etc- if I was them it would be tempting to not even try. Just my thoughts... Xx Miss L.ed.
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boobsandbusted
8 years ago
Some Are too lazy to fix or mend a problem ,and rekindle some love ,and go the easy way out and just call it quits cos some idiot friend has gotten in there ear and told them the grass is greener somewhere else and how much better than can do for themselves ,but in reality it's that selfish so called friend, who is just wanting another single buddy to go partying with cos it helps them cover up their own empty shell of a life .world would be a better place if more friends said stay ,try and work through it ,don't be too quick to burn bridges ,but sadly no ,in my experience everyone is so quick to say yeahhhh leave the bastard ,I did ,and whoohooo I'm having the best time ever . Well that's my 2 cents worth ,I know nothing .lol.,grrrrrrr - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
You'll be perfect for the one that deserves you ..
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boobsandbusted
8 years ago
Yes we love each other ,but we have ups and downs ,highs and lows but always work hard to get through it ,life isn't always smooth sailing and has a habit of delivering shit right when you don't expect it , that and I know I'm batting above my weight,like her cooking better than mine , so I just gotta pull my head in and shut up ,until the time is right to to strike back ,now that's love ,lol. Mr b - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
For me, I have been single...let me do the quick math...for 94% of my life. It's been the norm for me. A couple of months ago, a female friend of 7 years and only a few years younger than me, was single again and suggested that, as I had always been a good friend to her, maybe I was The One for her. Hiding in plain sight. Well...that set off a few alarm bells, but I thought, she's intelligent, a nice person and I know everything about her already. What the hell...why not.I laid all my cards out first, asking her if it was only because I had always been good to her, and that I considered her a serial relation-shipper...and she said she was serious about this. So we gave it a go, despite my doubts.You only live once, I figured.About 6 weeks later she had second thoughts. I don't really know why...maybe because I don't want to have children and her clock was ticking. But I wasn't surprised, or hurt. Just a little disappointed, as we may never be the same friends again. But that's my fault too, for agreeing to give it a go.Too be honest, I may have dodged a bullet. I don't want any unexpected kids, she desperately does. We're starting to chat a little bit online again...which is a good thing. We were friends first.
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mexicans
8 years ago
Been together 37 yrs and yet still fall in love with her every day .
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Tall74nHard9
8 years ago
Quoting 'LittleGiant' Biologically, humans just aren't designed/wired to only have sex with one person. It's not natural to be with one person forever. Why should we have to suppress our natural urges and make ourselves (and our partners) unhappy because society/religion/whoever says that it's wrong to have sex with people other than our partner? And why is it wrong? Anyway, if someone could help me down from my soap box before I break my ankle (it's a pretty damn high one) that'd be great... Miss Little Let's step back in time a bit. Early mankind was not a monogamous creature - like all creatures, it boiled down to survival of the fittest (loose term). A female would seek out a male whom she determined had the best genes to be passed along, and vice-versa. That basic programming has not subsided - we ALL still look around at others around us that arouse us. Monogamy was principally originated along religious lines - in line with what were the main values according to the bible of the times (and still mainly current). Among many possibilities for this was it was easier to control the masses if you had a partner to help keep the other in line. Hence we have the monogamous relationships and marriage. But this is not a natural state of affairs.Being monogamous can be quite satisfying if you have been lucky enough to find someone mostly comparable with yourself - but a few of us have been down that well trodden road and found out it didn't quite last the distance. Most of us here are somewhat more broad-minded and open to what is available, which is more in line with our natural instincts. Is it right ,wrong or indifferent - all depends on who you ask. Miss Little - will gladly help you on and off your soap-box. Pretty sure I can reach. Tall
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Scrub swans from the monogomous tribe. Its all show during the day. Come nightime.....they go wandering. Some several partners a night. Swan gang bang while hubby minds the cygnets......
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RHP User
8 years ago
...my illusions shattered again..😁
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RHP User
8 years ago
Is amazing and horrible and frustrating and delicious and heartbreaking and breathtaking. I hate it and I love it. It is so nice and so painful all at the same time. And it makes decisions so hard to make! That's today tomorrow may be different :) xx
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RHP User
8 years ago
And being in love are two differet things. There are many different permutations of love,family and friends can provide us with love.Sometimes it's unconditional love,but with friendships sometimes that changes too. People change because lives change,we move interstate,overseas,loose touch .Our friends get married,re partner ,have children.... reset their priorities and we find we are not one ffof them. Why does love die? It needs to move past the falling in love stage,beyond the sevens years and in to the deeper bonding stage of love. I have never found the romantic love of my life,do I expect to,not really,but I have the love of family and friends...It is enough. Chev you need to stop pining and hoping for what may never be..if it finds you then it is a gift...Q
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was just reading a story about how Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban's marriage has lasted for 10 years so far... because they consider each other to be their best friend. I loved this about their parents. Peachy... we need more news like this. ..... Both Nicole and Keith cite their parents’ successful relationships as a source of inspiration in working hard at theirs.“We are really so inspired by our parents who both celebrated 50-year wedding anniversaries,” the actress told us earlier in the year.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Back in the day, divorce/break ups were mostly unheard of, nobody talked about sexless marriages or secret taboo affairs back in the day, how could you live with the shame? Does it seem more likely for breakups these days because we have become more conscious now, less sheep-like and more things that were once underground and taboo are becoming more socially accepted? Are we starting to truly understand each other more and love each other and ourselves more to be able to go out and chase what makes each and everyone of us happy? There is so much opportunity these days. We get lead astray because religion and traditional beliefs no longer lock us down into old fashioned loyalty and commitment anymore. How much can you put up with? How far are you willing to go to keep the relationship? It's so easy to get lost, especially when there are too many options, temptations and decisions to make. The vision for your own life becomes muddy several times in your lifetime as you change and grow. If you and your partner cannot stay on the same page, you drift apart whether through exhaustion or dynamic arguments and then exhaustion. People fear this and so they don't try. I realised that in myself only recently. Monogamy isn't for everyone, even if it's the fantasy. We are geared to want more and more until it destroys us if we don't stop. Settling down so there's no more upkeep is the biggest killer. Relationships are work. If you're willing to work at it then it's for you :) Kudos to those that last longer than a decade! - Posted from rhpmobile
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chevtrek
8 years ago
Don't fix it just chuck it out.Quoting 'Ride2nite' Back in the day, divorce/break ups were mostly unheard of, nobody talked about sexless marriages or secret taboo affairs back in the day, how could you live with the shame? Does it seem more likely for breakups these days because we have become more conscious now, less sheep-like and more things that were once underground and taboo are becoming more socially accepted? Are we starting to truly understand each other more and love each other and ourselves more to be able to go out and chase what makes each and everyone of us happy? There is so much opportunity these days. We get lead astray because religion and traditional beliefs no longer lock us down into old fashioned loyalty and commitment anymore. How much can you put up with? How far are you willing to go to keep the relationship? It's so easy to get lost, especially when there are too many options, temptations and decisions to make. The vision for your own life becomes muddy several times in your lifetime as you change and grow. If you and your partner cannot stay on the same page, you drift apart whether through exhaustion or dynamic arguments and then exhaustion. People fear this and so they don't try. I realised that in myself only recently. Monogamy isn't for everyone, even if it's the fantasy. We are geared to want more and more until it destroys us if we don't stop. Settling down so there's no more upkeep is the biggest killer. Relationships are work. If you're willing to work at it then it's for you :) Kudos to those that last longer than a decade! - Posted from rhpmobile
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