F59
Is it for me?
January 11 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
I loved reading your post. This sounds a lot like where I am (only that you had the courage to come right out and say it) As to your questions, my thoughts are: 1. I read your profile and I liked it, I'd say if FWB is what you're after then yeah maybe put that in your profile. But I'll also say don't compromise or change who you are just so you can get a few minutes of company and comfort, I find its too draining....but that's just me. I mean at the end of the day, do what makes you happy. I always say this to myself before I venture into anything ' I am alone and sometimes feel lonely, but I'm happy; so now, do I want to meet up with this guy who will for a short time help with the loneliness but could potentially leave me feeling empty after he leaves?' No. so as a result I don't do FB 2. For the meet and greet, I have never been to one so I don't have any useful response here 3. Sex aside, the internet has come a long way to helping people build connections and friendships. You mentioned feeling isolated and not having been good at making friends. I found myself feeling isolated after I broke up with an ex and lost a lot of friends in the process, plus the fact that I have no family here among other things. I decided not to despair. I googled 'meet up' and joined that website and have met a lot of like minded people and made friends in the process. I even joined the gym, dance classes, took up yoga, swimming just to name a few. The reason why I picked all these activities was I wanted to meet more like minded people, I wanted to build my self confidence, to break the cycle of feeling lonely and then falling into a relationship with the wrong guy just because it was better than not being in a relationship. So now I have a bit of confidence, I know what I want and I am happier now than before. sorry for the long response...i tend to ramble sometimes. In short I guess I was trying to say do as much as you can to put yourself out there within the limits you feel comfortable in and before you know it you will be out of the 'rut' you feel you're in
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beebs
11 years ago
And with such a well thought out take on the whole situation you are bound to find the people you are looking for.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I really like your posts too. . Please do come to the meet and greet. We will have people coming from all over NSW and even interstate. . You'll be in good hands, promise!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am actually in the process of trying to get myself out of the mindset that if I don't " put out" on the first date there won't be a second or maybe not even a first if its not on the table!! For a while I was happy with the one night stands but am now wanting a little more , not neccesarily a full commitment but just something a little more regular , someone I can share more than just sexy time with!! It is hard to word the profile to express what you are wanting at times and yes I found that when I took out the NSA the messages did slow down a lot but that's not such a bad thing , quality is better than quantity!! I'm constantly being told by some if the beautiful friends I have made on here to stick to my guns and stay true to myself because I'm worth getting to know :) So stay true Bunny ... It's just a waiting game xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Maybe the other ladies won't agree with me but in my opinion there is a lot in the profile I would remove , doesn't need to be there..... The part about the marriage , ex and kids,.....the employment info...... And when you mention about the distance thing.... If you don't mention it they may not even look at it as a negative but by putting it out there it's like you are planting a seed and bringing attention to something that may otherwise not have been thought of Read some other female profiles and you can get some great ideas :)) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66'Maybe the other ladies won't agree with me but in my opinion there is a lot in the profile I would remove , doesn't need to be there..... The part about the marriage , ex and kids,.....the employment info...... And when you mention about the distance thing.... If you don't mention it they may not even look at it as a negative but by putting it out there it's like you are planting a seed and bringing attention to something that may otherwise not have been thought of Agreed.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I can definitely relate to your feelings of personal isolation. I too live in a regional area, and due to various reasons I don't currently have a very big social network. Like you I don't have kids and I'm not even very interested in them, which means I don't socialise much with, or have much in common with most of my friends around my age anymore as most of them have young children. Although I rarely get to meet any of the other posters in person, I still enjoy posting on these forums and have connected with some lovely people as a result. I will finally get to meet some of these people at the Sydney meet and greet, and would definitely encourage you to attend if you are considering it. From what I've heard everyone is very friendly and welcoming at the meets, and it could be a great opportunity for you to meet some new people.
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S_W_A_G_G_E_R
11 years ago
Hello i read your profil when you first came back, first impressions were why are you so far away. At the time was in a very similar situation with my parents, and ten km would have been to far away. I worked on a stud farm just down the road from you a few years ago, and understand what you are saying about the locals. Lovely people on the hole, but. You could learn the banjo, and have truck loads in common with them then! I have never been to a meet and greet, but if you can get away from mum sitting for the night, to go. I shalll make the time to go along as well. Go the BUNNIES
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RHP User
11 years ago
Op I read your profile and can't see anything in it that would scare away the type of person you are looking for. You appear intelligent, articulate, caring, sexy and a little sassy. The only thing that I think is limiting your success is, as you pointed out, distance. City people are not known for their love of travel and it is difficult for someone from out of town to relate to the sort of distances city folk think is too far. I have a friend that lives out of town and just can not understand that I think 150km is just to far to drive to pop in for a coffee and a chat. For her that is nothing. You may be a little frustrated at the moment, but don't worry, all you need is some patience and a little luck. Your profile is just dandy and no point compromising as that will only end up in frustration. Best of luck.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm overwhelmed. Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm actually staggered at how it’s affected me to read them. I will take to profile advice on board and work on it again.Thank you all again for taking the time to read and respond.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
See, bunny.... this is why I find you interesting..... you're a thinker. Pensive and considered, but available and open minded. You can wash my 4WD with me any day :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
I live in the largest inland city in Australia. Only 1.5 hrs from Brisbane. Interesting how distance is, I would have no qualms driving 150klms for a meet & coffee. The question I have is, you are 48, in your profile you state age range for men 35-50. In your profile you say you are not a cougar yet your age range is only younger than you, except for 2 years. Yes I have read the determination for cougar. Perhaps an opening of the age range might increase the contact activity.
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Openly_Curious
11 years ago
As a female your profile comes across great - like someone I would enjoy becoming friends with. You sound like you know yourself well, have a good mind, and are caring with a side of sass. One sentence that might cause some men pause is about not being demanding but having high expectations - it's a bit vague and contradictory. Clarifying that you're open to FWB would probably be helpful as I presumed from the first read that you were thinking more along the lines of a partner-type relationship. If you're not interested in a FB don't bother in offering that - technology can easily bridge the distance well enough for friendships to form, even if the benefits part is much more effective in person. ;) All the best, and feel free to email if you'd like someone to chat with. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dont stress Bunny you should go on farmer wants a wife !! Haha no ! Im serious! ! Your profile is very discriptive of your past present and what you may want in the future as much as it can be in a profile!! Your a good looking !! Well the one picture you have a good figure , but really you gunna want to travel to have a relationship ? So does that mean you travel to meet for a coffee ?? Yes understand but what about after that ? If you dont get lucky first pop you may have to travel 5 , 10 , 15, times for a meet ?? By that time your gunna wanna throw the towel in ! Or just fuck whatever comes along next !! Your on RHP say meet for coffee and take it from there nothing wrong with fucking on first date if you have an attraction!! The only thing i would say about your profile read i read it all in one tone!! So to me really was a bit dull and had no spunk or get up and go ?? But hey thats ok each to there own but it depends what you really want ?? As i didnt really know whether you want a friend to fuck or a partner for life ??? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's OK to put people off with your profile, if that's what you want. My profile certainly turns men away and that's largely what suits me right now. In the past I've had different profiles and I want to stress that I've never had any trouble meeting men from here for casual but ongoing fun. Respectful, lovely, intelligent, fun men. Give or take a couple of assholes. But I live in Sydney and I'm sure that's made it easier. I agree with some of the comments about not necessarily needing all of the info/detail in you profile but I also agree that the kind of men you're looking for probably wouldn't be put off by that specifically. Distance seem to be the challenge - with men less keen to travel unless they're on a sure bet. That kind of attitude is really cheap and crass I think - if a man will only meet you on the promise of sex then he ought to pay to see a prostitute instead of treating you like one. Don't stand for it. Ever! (Unless of course that's what turns you on ;)). I really like your OP, intelligent, thoughtful, open-minded, honest. What's not to love! I've never been to a meet and greet but from what I can tell they're very welcoming and lots of fun - I say do it! I also agree with the suggestion someone made about joining meet up, a great online social group option. If you can't find one you like then set one up and invite others. Nat, I also loved your response to the OP. Thanks to you both for sharing x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Coffee anytime :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
On Nat27's response. Nicely said.
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RHP User
11 years ago
From a women's point of view, wow I love your profile. And anyway you know what you want and the rest is history.You don't want to attract anyone who doesn't get your profile, so don't worry about the others.I found being and expressing what you want clearly is the best way to be on here.You showed your face on the forum, this will give you a much wider audience and men who like what you write the opportunity to see and read your profile in depth. So I wish you all the best, you are a fine looking woman.L
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nat27…Thanks for the thought and effort. Now I just have to figure out how to get FWB in there…I Googled “meet up”, and unfortunately there doesn't appear to be anything appropriate within 200 “miles”. Oh well, will keep eyes open for other things. They used to do yoga around, but the interest was so hit-and-miss that there isn't anything consistent, and dare I say close? I loved doing that! Mesmerised...*sigh* I should probably do the meet and greet…talk about getting out of a rut! Thank you. JayJay_66 …what can I say, you are right…looking at it now, it reads too much like a resume, and not a good one at that! Working on edits now. Smilingwithfun…I see your point about the age range. 50 seems to be some sort of psychological barrier for me (must consider what THAT means), and I certainly don’t feel/think/act/look whatever 48! It’s 32 kms RT for me if I run out of milk! Which of course one avoids by keeping liters of it in the freezer Openly_Curious…I am guilty of making a sweeping generalization here, but KiSS is probably the best way forward with the male of the species – Thanks, deleting. Bigocean72…I think you are saying you see a contradiction in what my profile seems to say I’m looking for, and what the realities of my situation are. Probably a valid point, thanks for pointing it out. ChasingRainbows…To quote HP: “Because you're worth it...” seems to sum it up Thank you for reminding me. Litonya…Judging by the increase in traffic on my profile since this topic went up, you are absolutely right. You may not believe it, but that aspect of posting never occurred to me – and I do it myself!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Bunny .......I googled where you live and it is definitely a huge downfall in you finding a potential friend unfortunately. Your profile probably does go into too much detail about whether you make friends easily or not your employment situation possibly condense it to say you have few time constraints as to meets or something similar. Give the meet up groups (social clubs) a chance but don't be surprised if they aren't what your after either but they can give you access to different activities. Take a trip and go to the meet and greet fun and friendly people.........may also open up friendships to continue. I have a friend in Sydney we don't talk all the time but keep in contact and if opportunity arises we can catch up for a nice meal and good time. Only do what you feel happy with men say they will travel and yes when it comes down to it unless there is a prize at the end they wont ....isn't it funny that....as I have said women need to meet and know if there is an attraction (very well could be and :) ) but men have their intent (oh not all I have to be careful as will be crucified for generalising). Be fussy but meet people you never know...like smilingwithfun I am sure she will consider a tad older you never know someone until you meet them. I make friends easily but am not consistent with contact but I am learning to change and hopefully you can change little things that will make you gain friends......they come in all shapes sizes ages I have a lovely freind who is 80 just the cheekiest naughty lady she would put you all in stitches. It may take time I wish you well and hope you find what your looking for. Oh and BigOcean even though the OP has said she is attractive, just because someone is slim doesn't mean they are good looking.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you have it going on in all the right ways Bunny.stay true to yourself and your needs ..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hiya Bunny-Brat.. Do you know how refreshing it is to read such a articulate well thought out post such as yours. ? I usually find my attention span is limited with most 'war and peace' efforts and I usually move on half way through , but yours was so well written it held me right to the last word. I think it was your openness and your willingness to bare you and your thoughts that attracted me. Saying it as it is is a god sent. I live by that and find that even though it sometimes lands me in trouble, its out there for all to see.. Welcome back Bunny.. nice to have you around... Jay
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'bunny_brat' I'm overwhelmed. Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm actually staggered at how it’s affected me to read them. I will take to profile advice on board and work on it again.Thank you all again for taking the time to read and respond. you are only a bit over an hour away from me, im still debating about meet n greet, if i go and you want to come to my place, we can wander down together if you feel more comfortable doing that :) ... ps there is an active group in Newcastle, which is closer for you...
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RHP User
11 years ago
My profile has been modified...we'll see it goes! Thanks everyone for the support and help. It means a lot. I am sorting out logistics of being at the meet and greet, so look forward to meeting. bb
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NightLuva
11 years ago
So here's a virtual like: ^ | | \ \ .---- \ ( | ( | (__ | Like Just checked the 'after' profile and sounds very intelligent, personable, and clear with your wishes and life situation. That's a few big ticks. Also, from the one pic, you seem an attractive, healthy and active woman, another couple of ticks. But most of all, your forum post is genuine, open & very endearing. Shows you have heart & care for others :). I can't find any issues with any of that. Location's tricky, though. If you lived near the coast or 'burbs Newcastle to Kiama I think you'd be batting off decent suitors... ;) I presume the options around home are a l'il too slim. For quite regular company, obviously a 'travelling' relationship would suit, where you each take time and effort to visit. Keep trying, even though it may seem easier said than done! In any case, have you considered finding a couple of friends online? A few meetups / holiday trips / city visits (platonic or 'fun') can sure spice up the year and you never know who you might meet. :)
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