M34
Is it me or is it hard to find f-buddy's ??
July 11 2017
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
Online dating in general is pretty bad for men, studies have shown that women deem 80% of men as "below average" in terms of looks on dating sites, coupled with the fact men outnumber women on here by more than double and also don't forget that your a blip in a sea of angry men and dick pics! Ive especially found the whole process deeply demoralising, Im from England and took to Tinder in the hope of just meeting people, I really wasn't that bothered about hooking up I just wanted to make friends but it was months before a woman agreed to meet up with me. I took to Reddit one time to research the phenomenon and a post took me eye. It's a description of two different guy who use dating apps. Guy one, has a "pretty" face. He is about 5'9" tall, a bit slim, and a bit meek, but is a good picture taker. He puts in his profile as 5'11", and does get relatively well with text gaming/words. He gets a lot of dates, but in real life his meek personality, and weak physique are apparent. His "in person game" is not great, and he is not that interesting person to be with. He doesn't get that many 2nd dates, but time to time he gets laid and is able to keep a girl interested for a while. Guy # 2. He is about 6'0" tall, good physique, but a bit of a brute, and terrible picture taker (i.e. not photogenic, and not a high face symetry). In person he is imposing, strong, and has a deep voice. He is dominant but gentle at the same time, and has game. He is very interesting person, just because he is both smart and has high testosterone, which makes him a bit of a risk taker, and entrepreneurial type. He doesn't have time to 'pander' to girls whims online, or text, and is short to the point, which works great in real life with girls, but not online. Guy #2 has a hard time getting dates online, but he has a very high "kill ratio". Almost all women that go out with him want either a second date, or want to sleep with him. I found I could definitely relate to guy two! I'm embarrassed to say that probably through desperation I met with a number of women who in real life I probably wouldn't be interested in not just in terms of looks but also personality but because I was starting out in a new country after a few months I was desperately lonely!What I found interesting is that it was really hard to get a lady to go on a date with me, they were always busy with work and other commitments however once I'd been on the first date all of a sudden their schedules opened up lol. So in conclusion to all this? I think it's a sad state of affairs that most women won't give a guy the time of day online unless they're perfect. Personally I don't think you cant judge a person from a few words and pictures and if you're a lady reading this and you're struggling to find a catch I'd recommend you up the number of dates you go on.And for the OP if online dating isn't working for you the worst thing you can do is moan about it on the very platform you're trying to be successful on. My solution to problem was to cut out the middle man so I took a second job working in a nightclub bar. Without sounding too cocky I was able take home some ladies who were 10 years younger than me! Something I definitely didn't think possible! It's always nice when you find out you can surprise yourself :) Right now I've got bored of how vanilla most girls are so I'm on Rhp to find the more naughty ones so if you're reading this go on a date with me or the OP I mean what have you got to lose :)
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Fill out all the tabs on your profile. If everything is ticked you cast a bigger net. Try speed dating and go to rhp event, clubs and adult parties.
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Sorry but that is funny.
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swingalingson
7 years ago
Is the group called Perth Socialites. The group has friendly and genuine people. Also they are seasoned RHPers and might give you some tips. Their are events are great. If you are socialable you should be okAy. Sorry bout the 3 escorts no shows in one night. But 3 strikes for me in a night I would just give up for the night.
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RHP User
7 years ago
But the line about don't mind buying food and drink is going to rub lots up the wrong way. It can be read (I know not your intent), as 'I'll pay your way if you'll bonk me afterwards'. Even a change to something along the lines of you like to wine and dine a lady to see if you connect would be an improvement (I'm not a wordsmith myself). Drop the fucks and crude language altogether. You're on RHP, you know (if things go well) that's where it ends up, but it's sounds like something you'd say whilst pissed at the bar at 1am. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I went on stealth to look at your profile so you wouldn't get emotional. Your profile is rubbish, says nothing about you, or what you have to offer except for a fuck and a happy meal. I'm not surprised at the result. Now, imagine your an interesting sexual woman looking for an exciting time with an interesting guy. Now read your profile. Get the picture ?No offence intended.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Sailbadthesinner' Your profile is rubbish, says nothing about you, or what you have to offer except for a fuck and a happy meal. I'm not surprised at the result. Now, imagine your an interesting sexual woman looking for an exciting time with an interesting guy. Now read your profile. Get the picture ? Your profile is not appealing at all. 'Wanner bang?' just isn't going to get you very far. There is a very skewed ratio of men to women here and therefore - whether you think it's a good thing or not - the women can be pretty choosy. Particularly the women in the bigger capital cities. You're also a guest which means you can't send any messages, and if you're waiting for the women to message you then you'll be waiting a very long time. Having said that, from the sound of things there are other factors at play for you as well. Fact is that most people - men and women - find the online dating / hookup thing very frustrating at least some of the time. There are a few reasons for that, Pommyfucker above has outlined some of the frustrations from a male perspective. In your case it seems there might be some other things going on as well, but not having anything to go on other than your post and profile I don't want to speculate too much. You say that you were stood up by 3 escorts in one night, can you elaborate on that at all? Did they give you any reasons? It just seems a little odd for that to happen and some more detail might help to make sense of it. You say you attend social events, how do you get on at those? Overall I suspect your lack of success is due to a combination of a poor online approach, some personal characteristics that may mean your initial impression suffers a bit, as well as the general challenging nature of dating and hooking up in this day and age. That's just my speculation though, based purely on your profile and post.
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RHP User
7 years ago
At your profile at first but luck dragon has got a point, it's very brief. I think my profile needs a little tweeking as well to be honest
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RHP User
7 years ago
yes its pretty sad,update ,your profile,put your photo to private,first date you should pay for meal, drinks and hopefully a hotel,,its a given ,for me anyway,knockback by three prostitutes,rediculous,,,, hey geuss what ,you now got attention,
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
Fill in your profile properly, there are too many others who do and therefore you are well behind the 8 ball. Also agree that your language needs some work; many of your target audience don't agree with the sentiment that this is a sex site and your profile seems to be only about finding a fuck/bang. As others have mentioned women have a fair few men to choose from; they rarely will make the effort to ask you the answers to your 'ask me' options.
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Mischeviouslad
7 years ago
Here's a pretty simple life lesson from an older man than you who has lived and learned .... (and the angry feminists among us can start elevating their heart rates now! 😜) Stop LOOKING for a FWB And here's why. Put the illusion of what RHP advertising promises to one side.... and consider that even if you do manage to coerce someone to meet you.... you're still going to have to be interesting, charismatic and sexy enough to inspire them to want to engage sexually with you. And when you are that kind of person.... and engage others in a clever, interesting, intriguing and masculine flirty way..... sexual escalation and interactions just happens as part of your life. Women are highly sexual beings too.... and the reality of life and dating is (or it should be!) that sex is just ONE of the many things you need to determine compatibility on. And that test won't occur unless/until you have used your personality to best effect. So my advice is..... BECOME the kind of person others find interesting, intriguing, masculine and sexy...... live your life flirting the world.... and treat those women who invite you into their sexuality with respect and you'll likely find that they're often just as prepared to call it casual as you are if you handle yourself and them with the right attitude. (Footnote. The phrase "NSA" is to me.... stupid. Because of you just want to fuck someone and not give a damn about them in any firm that makes you somewhat sociopathic. If you engaged in sex, and you enjoyed it sufficiently to want to do it again with them.... that's a string. And why wouldn't you want to do it with them again? You want that great FWB, right?!! Right. But also recognise that there is always a finite lifespan of that kind of relationship). - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
7 years ago
The amount of flirts with zero follow through (my membership just lapsed so I can't send a FREE message atm to give that person a chance to say something....enticing, intelligent or just plain NORMAL!! instead of Hi, how are you or the usual wanna fuck bullshit) I'd say 90% (maybe more I'm being fair) of people here when they approach others just don't realise they should approach people here like they do IRL. Yes it's a "sex site" but seriously how many sites have you been on before this one and was your strike rate any better? Even the guys who loo great, are mature in their initial messages always devolve to the "Fornicate or DTF" mentality, kinda makes a woman wonder where all the "REAL MEN" are? anyway.....when I was in the market for a fuck buddy anything remotely viable quickly shot itself in the genitalia O LORD WHY IS IT SOOOO HARD TO FIND ANOTHER THINKING BREATHING HUMAN BEING TO ESTABLISH A RESPECTFUL, MUTUALLY SATISFYING, NO BULLSHIT SEXUAL CONNECTION WITH?And why are so many here thinking it's on tap here and wanna fuck messages will cut it.....have to laugh though, when I respond to those messages with "What's your address I'll be right over" they disappear lol I'd take it personal BUT I have an incredibly high opinion of myself....
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RHP User
7 years ago
wow you got some extremely good advice mate and a,cpl of red bells, good luck to you , there is a newbie Q n A section , just wish I seen it earlier , , I got some good info tooo , cheers to all , david66
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HotNightsGC
7 years ago
My advice would be not to concentrate on attracting a fuck buddy but attracting quality people with the same interests. From there you can be a bit more specific with your 'wish list'. If you sharpen up your profile so it's not so blunt and rough then you'll catch the eye of more women. Also try putting more pics on your profile. I agree with Swingalingson that you should fill out all the tabs on your profile. You could be missing a large group of women by not being thorough with your page. Good luck xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
I go the hotel every now and again... I don't drink..Women get drunker...They FORGET the are choosy..Some drunk fella tells them they are ugly..I smile at them....EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.... they respond to the smile..and take me home.. NOW.. they MAY feel like shit in the morning when they remember what they have done...OR one of their girlfriends post them a photo of the apeman they fckd...BUT... When you get to my age fella... that practice works better then posting a sub standard profile on a "Swingers and alternative lifestyle" site.Just saying..Make yourself stand out as someone fckn AWESOME...or an apeman's genuine smile will backdoor you every time..
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sweetnsensual
7 years ago
I agree i looked at your profile and would be turned off straight awayMen need to learn to communicate and understand the wrong word on a profile will deter us from contacting themEven the name can make an impressionAlso dont send dic picks if not requestedThats my two cents hope it helps
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MikeBPerth
7 years ago
Irrespective of whether it is a cyber or face to face hook up, you have to initiate some chemistry between you and those you aspire (or crave) to engage with! As others have indicated, it is about marketing yourself, and online that means the only tool you have - your profile. This has to be as much focused on what the person you seek to hook up with desires as what you desire. It is useful to understand the difference between a FWB and NSA play friend or fuck buddy. For a FWB arrangement, you need to be prepared to be seen and recognised in public without fear. NSA play friend or fuck buddy can generally involve discretion for one or both participants. This is not around lies or cheating, more about societal expectations/norms, workplace expectations and the like. I am a more mature soul which for many can be a negative. By understanding on another site, I have been able to transform my age as a potential negative to a positive and generate chemistry for positive outcomes. Thirty seven seems to be my target demographic. My profile seems to hit a spot with ladies who have experience the ups and downs of the on and offline dating scene and have a maturity to understand what they seek in life and appreciate that generally it is a more mature man that can satisfy their needs, desires and fantasies in a sensitive, non-judgemental way. For example I have a 37 year old fuck buddy who is in a long term relationship with a female, and not been with a man for 15 years but yearned to renew the MF experience. She actively sought out those aspects I had targeted in my site profile. Score 1 for a very pleasing NSA fuck buddy arrangement. This is just one of several similar outcomes where NSA fuck buddy arrangements have evolved. Tonight I plan to head to a RHP evening with another single 37 year old who has responded similarly on that other site to my targeted profile. In summary (and perhaps at risk of restating the obvious) it is a case of Your Mileage May Vary, depending on your attitude, chemistry and respect that is generated through your prime marketing tool - the profile. Be assured tho that success is possible. Good luck
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PurePeony
7 years ago
OP, I didn't check out your profile so I can't comment on that. I do feel strongly that it's a good idea to invest time and resources in one's personal development, physical appearance, etc. so that one becomes attractive and dynamic as a person and then naturally, you'll start attracting women like bees flocking to nectar. If you like a certain type of woman, make sure that you have the qualities that a woman like her will be attracted to. Men and women think differently and approach things differently. So a man may have sex on his mind and seek to attract a woman, any woman, mainly for sex. Women, however, tend to be more ... multi-dimensional and multi-faceted. We consider a helluva lot of traits, qualities, etc before we feel attracted enough to a man to want to do the horizontal tango with him. That's a generalisation, of course, because there are women out there who'll fuck any dick and we all go through different stages of our lives with varying degrees of fussiness or selection criteria. Never underestimate a woman's complicated and very intricate thought processes! It's usually never just one determining factor with us. The best of us have very formidable multi-tasking brains! So... what I am saying is, learn to perhaps understand what women want and look for, and then work on yourself on the areas that you may fall short, so that you appear more attractive to the opposite sex. It's sad, but also pretty intriguing - why were you turned down by three escorts? If you know why, you could eradicate whatever repelled them, so that the chances of you getting turned down again is reduced. Sorry about that... it must have eroded your confidence. Make sure you build up your confidence again and don't carry the memory of that rejection around. Women are very complicated. Use whatever you have learnt to your advantage and work on improving your game so that you get to increase your prospects. Be forewarned... some of us are good at picking up vibes and our 6th sense can be very sharp. I just had lunch today with a male friend whereby I spent time encouraging him and gave him a pep talk about not ignoring his grooming routine and to spend time on nurturing himself, especially since he's under tremendous stress and life challenges atm, because he's my good friend for years and unbeknownst to him, for the last two months or so, he's been walking around not his usual self, emitting a very strong "loser" vibe. His gait has changed from a spritely spring in his step to a kind of slouchy look. He's been looking drab and unkempt and very downtrodden. All that can spill over, and did spill into his marriage and work life. I don't know what you call it... the Law of Attraction / Aura / Energy or whatever, I'm no expert at these things, but stuff like that does work on a very intrinsic level. So maybe, you have to work on putting forth more positive vibes. Chin up! I hope that your situation will improve, OP.
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BrightBubbly
7 years ago
With an Ask Me for relationship status - to us that means married or in a committed relationship !!! The majority of women won't even go there...
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