Is loneliness or the fear of loneliness a motivating factor for you?

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  gazpacho

  11 years ago

  I love my own company and for the life of me, I could never perceive a world where others disagree. :p HugsGazpacho

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  For some this is so true...and why they choose to mislead others to satisfy their own needs is it selfish yes if it hurts another. There are many reasons people stay together or make bad choices, I have a flatmate who is a mxture lonliness and the need to be wanted/loved even cared for or mothered....I should know wow. Others I am sure know that without the joint financial situation life would be too hard. I also know of people who are well catered to and I am sure it has a lot to do with it. Sometimes there just seems to be no way out all your best efforts to leave fail and you just get lost in the world. Staying because you have been guilted is not good, what will happen to your freedom, are you now being controlled beyond what you desire. Are you going back to that place you never wanted to be before? But if they are happy in some way then they weigh up their odds stay or??

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I go mad if I don't spend some time on my own. I have never understood those couples that are joined at the hip, couples that can never go anywhere on their own. Women that always have to bring their husband along. Seriously. Why? Poor bastards. :-/

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Sometimes you stay because your options are limited. Your partner holds the purse strings or makes it difficult to leave. Maybe they use the kids as leveridge, bribing them into liking one parent more than the other. So if you were to leave you would lose your kids. And the big one is security in knowing you are safe with that person even if he/she isn't what you want any longer. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I have always told my now hubby, I need my space.... I TRUELY believe we are two separate people for a reason and one is obviously to stay sane!!! We started our marriage perfectly, he would travel two weeks out of every month, my girlfriends were always shocked when I'd turn up at their place less a husband....... Having said that, I also appreciate the times that my hubby is around when I do want/need the companionship.... I still remember my mother in law saying that silly girl, imagine divorcing her husband, she will never find anyone else and I'm there saying "that's the whole point"

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Ive been in a relationship before and never felt more alone.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  11 years ago

  Me too! I so get that and understand. I have been in crowded rooms and felt lonely, but yet when I am by myself that is when I find serenity!' I have to recharge...If I can't recharge by myself, that is when I go nuts, stir crazy and feel smothered! I enjoy my own company and sometimes I want company - I reach out when I want it. I don't have to be in a "couple" to be happy either. I have girlfriends that can't be alone, always have to be in a relationship, always gotta have a man! It doesn't matter if it is abusive, they choose to stay, till the man ends it. Then they go onto the next one, the next day. That makes me sad. I believe, some people have a fear that they will be alone for ever or even scared of knowing themselves. Why I choose to be single, is because I really don't think anyone would understand me and that I need to be by myself at times. I have had partners who just don't get that and it's smothered me.They often see it as a rejection. :( Foxy

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  there are times I crave my solitude, I do like to be alone and have always mostly been alone. I am also very social person so I have lots of friends, and this place has people dropping in or staying over, and I love that. as for a relationship well I have that but not joined at the hip at all my expectations of what a relationship is has all grown up. He has his boat and his man land stuff, he can go there when ever he likeshe has his fifo workI have my art and also going to go for a few months up north with a girlfriend in a van, and he is ok with that. we can live our lives as we please, and with the knowing that we love each other and we can always come back and do things together. The main thing we have is our children and friends and that's the common ground. but I do see that people are lonely as hell in the world, and that cant be a good thing.its like some little part is missing in a big jigsaw puzzle, and one day you find that missing bit that makes up the whole big picture of your life. yes we need each other, its only the badly wounded that stay away from other humans

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'Leanne6825' Maybe they use the kids as leveridge, bribing them into liking one parent more than the other. So if you were to leave you would lose your kids. Yes I know this only too well he did it many years ago and in the end he won...........its part of my devastation.

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  gazpacho

  11 years ago

  Quoting 'First_Base' Ive been in a relationship before and never felt more alone. With an arse like that I find your statement very hard to believe. I'd be all over it. HugsGazpacho

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Hmmm, Mr and I will have been together 20 years this June. He is my best friend, my lover and much more besides. We are very different people and we like to do things together, but we also do things apart - but in all honesty, we prefer together and I'm absolutely okay with that. I feel very lucky. If either of us want alone time or solitude, we get it. We are happy. My folks on the other hand, have been married for 45 years and while I think they love each other, I don't believe they like each other but staying together is their choice. Financially, they would suffer if they split. Am I desperate not to be alone? No. Am I happy I'm not? Of course. Kisses, Mrs. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  about a year after my husband died, I moved in with a man because I thought I needed to be part of a couple. He left to work away after 6 months or so and I really did not miss him. Now it drives me crazy having some one around for more than a couple of days.

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