M40
Is redhotpie (etc) destructive to your self esteem!?
December 28 2019
Comments
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RHP User
5 years ago
I’d think about changing your username, seriously. Turns me off immediately & I wouldn’t even look over your profile if I received a msg with a username like this. The rest of your profile appears ok. Your height is not the issue. All the best.
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RHP User
5 years ago
RHP just like other online sites can make us feel horrid & have us comparing ourselves to others. I’ve done it & quickly slapped myself silly & back to reality. It’s easy for ppl to create a fake reality & alter images etc. we are all different, not perfect etc.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Cheers msjdays but my profile name only until yesterday was my actual name for ten months and still nothing much!!! But ok I’ll change it
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RHP User
5 years ago
Online you are just data and a profile pic. Ten months is a drop in the ocean here. From my own experience and joined years ago. I can say that in last 18 months Ive only met 1 guy who i consider to be someone worth spending time with. It will definitely kick your arse and make u have WTF moments. Luckily the social side in Perth is pretty good. Its much better way of meeting people. Ive been lucky to make friends and had great adventures. Its an app so at best it will just give u a introduction. The rest is real life, so dont let it get you down. Remember you cant portray who u really are online.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Nah Man - you have to remember that we are all human and we are all subject to the same insecurities. Our online presence, to some extent, allows us to be better versions of ourselves, we can curate and publish our best images, we can portray ourselves as being more successful, more sexually experienced, more of whatever you want to portray can be achieved- in order to present to the world that we are desirable. You only have to see how younger women have perfected the yoga pant gym selfie that makes their waists seems really small and the stance they use slims their ass and thighs. They have push up bras with silicone fillers to push out their breasts and create cleavage - thats why the pics are taken from above head high. All making them seem more desirable and or confident. But the thing is that if / when they get to the point where they are actually having to peel all the outer layer off and be fully exposed will that confidence remain? Will they eel like they are able to deliver on the 'product' they sold. The 10 inch cocks - well maybe they are and maybe they aren't. Manscaping helps it to look bigger, also if you put a heat pack on your gear for 20mins, the jelqued for 20min and then vac pumped it for 20 mins - your cock would look enormous as well. Yeah I know - it can be hard to compete with youth (not you, me) 6 pack abs, gym sculpted muscle, artificial tan, better selfie technique etc. But the fact is I'm not competing with this market. my market is more sophisticated, ,more discerning. I love to look at those young nubile female bodies, but the reality is, it would be awkward, what could I talk to a Gen Y about, it would be frustrating and fruitless and if it actually proceeded to the point of actual intercourse, the result would leave both parties looking for the exit sign. So whilst some women might 'appreciate' the beauty of flat abs and ripling muscle they probably know that it not the meat suit with a tool too big for the job hammering away at them with no finesse that will produce the orgasmic bliss. It is the connection, the desire, the confidence, intelligence, the experience the subtle touches, the looks, whatever you want to call it to produce romance or seduction or to reduce their anxiety is what stimulates the neurotransmitters and hormones to cascade in harmony within her body to get the magic to happen Throw in patience, skill, use of other body part, proper use a tool that is not too big for the job - the right words,whatever, it is that is unique to you gives the experience a less mechanical and more human feel. Then hopefully you can leverage that good will / testimony to acquire another encounter and so forth. I dont know for sure but I would expect that reputation ad a skillfull and attentive lover along with good conversationalist blah blah goes a long way to the next one. This is all just theory and speculation - and I am sure it will be corrected by swiftly and succinctly by those in the know. So anyway - what I would do if I were you is stop saying 'poor me' this site is rigged,and writing a negative post that highlights your lack of success - thus making you less attractive. And try to create an aura, a mystique around you. Position yourself as an expert in some area of the process - expert kisser, lips like alabaster.....the svengali of sexual fulfillment.... and introduce posts that support that notion, you know, spent 2 yrs learning tantric vibration for atomic orgasms. Maybe write an erotic story of your fantasy or a common female fantasy - I wrote one last week to impress someone on here but it hasn't been published yet - maybe too explicit?? But it was authentic - I expressed into a story my experience I had whilst fantasizing about her. I have a really good visual imagination and, yeah, it was amazing. Even if you migrate from this site you can test, evaluate, retest, reavaluate to refine your approach. Hope that helps man.
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KittyDeluxe
5 years ago
At all. I only use the website. Height: like weight or hair colour or cock size - preferences are preferences. Don't take it personally. I don't when someone rejects my advances based on their own personal preference. You won’t get uninvited wang pics or other typical shitty sulky ass male behaviour Your post kind of reeks of sulky. Additionally, I found being a paid member facilitates better luck - you can message people actual information instead of boring flirts all the time.
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RHP User
5 years ago
Can imagine for some people it would definitely leave them wondering if the effort is worth continuing.
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RHP User
5 years ago
I have to say that for me RHP actually has increased my self esteem and confidence. It has made me realise i am desirable. My observation is that on RHP it seems most members are looking for unicorns or couple swapping. There are lots of single men on here. Single men seem to be the most prolific type of profile, but the least sought. So you are up against it from the start. If you get a paid membership you will have more luck as you can message people. Your profile looks good, but i dont remember seeing anything about your sexual orientation. People will want to know that. RHP isnt a typical dating site.
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LillyandTheFun
5 years ago
Male half here. I joined after a really shitty relationship where I felt similar to yourself. I got lucky a few months in and met a lovely fun lady who ended up introducing me to my now wife. Our adventures are a bit rare but fuck I'm glad I join this site
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MsSuperFoxy
5 years ago
I know it must be hard for you. I'm blessed I found this site. I have met hundreds of people, had great adventures and travelled. It is what you put in, you get out. If it is not working for you, try different approached, change things, like your profile and they way you write your emails. Sorry 10mths is not enough time. Women here are not going to throw themselves at you Because you have a "decent dick", nor are you entitled to anything. Also, stop comparing yourself to others and other profiles on here. By you doing that, you've made it competitive by comparing yourself to them. Have you considered attending events etc? Ms Foxy
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AnnieWhichway
5 years ago
Male, female or non binary. From the shitty rejection responses from guys, the no shows, the unrealistic list of preferences from women. There are countless ways to be spiralled into feeling useless and unwanted. But the sites can also increase your esteem and confidence by the beautiful people within them. Experience will harden you up but the old saying of finding yourself also rings true. As stated by Moan_a_lisa, you are just data until you meet. The best way to meet is at events and meet and greets. I've bee dissed and judged online but never in person when data becomes personalities and human beings. The sites are but a tool . Problem is there are many tools on it to fuck up your day
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madotara69
5 years ago
What if you put your heart on the line ? A few years back, it was Valentine’s Day. I woke early, Tara sleeping and I logged into the forums and wrote a poem, called ‘Tara’ then posted it off the cuff. Well it won the hearts of many women who read the forums, I know because messages from them rolled in, mostly acknowledging the words as feelings and emotions shared. Even though the poem was of Tara, seems many of the women here then, now, tomorrow, maybe never change... friendship. Offer something and expect nothing in return perhaps. I dunno. Mado Mado Tara xx
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britandtaiwan
5 years ago
Male half here. As Annie has said you've only got to look at the list of preferences women demand of men most of which would go out the window if they met you in person and found you charming. I'm a swinger through and through and don't think I could have a standard vanilla relationship again. I've been on this website 3 times now, twice as a couple and once as a single guy. Touch wood but if I ever became single again I don't think I'd renew my membership, I'd only stay here for the forums and I probably wouldn't return until I was coupled again. In my opinion the single guys are just a money maker for rhp. I've said there should be an option for couples to only allow other couples and single women to contact them but of course rhp won't do this because once single men realise there's only a tiny amount of couples willing to meet them with literally thousands of single men for them to choose from they won't sign up.
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NoRegretsEver
5 years ago
it's good to remember that this is a platform for people living out their fantasies whatever that may be . Not everyone's going to be your cup of tea and vice versa and not everyone is going to respond or wink or flirt at you. I go through dry spells all the time and get bored and go offline for weeks or months then every so often when I least expect it I meet someone. Just have to expect that the online game is about what other people, see, read and want . That's just the reality of it. It's no different to going out every night , some nights you get lucky, other nights your going home alone and broke lol. If your self esteem is suffering because of it then you either need to find a different way to meet people or for want of a better phrase "harden up" because at times the game is brutal
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RHP User
5 years ago
I've been on here for maybe 2 years and only ever met 2 girls from RHP. One I ended up having sex with for 2 months. The other, I only just met. For me I thought it was my honest profile (which stated I lacked experience) but I've been told by numerous people that they liked my profile. I have however considered not mentioning the lack of experience to see how that changes things. I imagine perhaps a verified profile might get more responses too? I've never tried that.
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On_Safari
5 years ago
I know my limits and what I am, if someone’s not into you than they’re just NOT INTO YOU. Next!!! What makes this place challenging is the “instant gratification” that the majority seek without taking the time to treat people like people. Ultimately if that person doesn’t realise how awesome you are you aren’t going to change that, best to not waste your time (nor theirs) and grant yourself the wonderful opportunity to meet someone who does deserve your time and interest, maybe even your sexing with them!! There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s them. 😁. If as others have said your self esteem is taking a hit, back away from the keyboard and take stock of the things that are good about you and focus on those qualities, talk to your friends and ask them what they honestly think of you. Grow from that and remember everyone has something to offer, it just might take a little time to find the person who values that about you. RHP and your experiences here are not the deciding factor about how worthy you are, YOU ARE 👍🏽 ~ Keeping it Real Indy
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deepestpurple
5 years ago
I speak as a male, primarily to other males. I do not know how this advice translates to other groups but this is important advice. Do NOT use this site, or sites like this, as the only means of attracting sexual partners. This is pretty much the ultimate in speed-matchmaking, it is designed to be efficient and convenient. It is a numbers game and you are a number. You're self esteem is not a consideration. You will be broken down into measurements and attributes. This is the point, this is what makes it efficient and convenient and brutal. If you have poor game IRL, this is NOT the answer. It is harder to attract a sexual partner online. Even if you can take a great set of body/face shots, you still need some game. If you cannot take a standout set of pics of yourself then you are already that far behind. These are facts, it may not make you feel great but it is how it is. If you can not find and attract a sexual partner in real life you will come across as desperate on here. Women on here sense that like sharks can smell a drop of blood in the ocean. You will be dead in the water. So if this is you right now: Forget RHP. Start at the start. Approach and flirt with women IRL like normal people have been doing for a very long time. Get some wins, learn some skills and grow some of your own self esteem. Then bring your game here and try run with the wolves.
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Kokoflamingo
5 years ago
Ghosting, no shows, abuse when you send a polite No Thank you. Im in that grey area where the over 55s live on RHP so am a bit out of touch. I will say this though. Ive seen some great profile pics only to search on Google reverse image and find out they are fake. Its a good tool to tick off fake profiles. Its online dating...we are only a cyber chat until we actually meet someone. No one on here is a Greek god or Sexual goddess. We are who we are, flaws and all.
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madotara69
5 years ago
I’m an angel Xx
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LetsFrolic
5 years ago
Not destructive.. but would be nice to meet more people and people actually message back to talk and meet. Half the time I forget about tje app because its become a waste of time. 20 years ive been on here .. some were youre too young .. then yiu have to go for bbws because we own the rest.. then you'll always be single because we made it that way because we want all the women. Now I'm single and lonely still .. kept my good heart and soul. Still have no sex life.
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TheLuckyOne
5 years ago
Quoting 'LetsFrolic'then yiu have to go for bbws because we own the rest..
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Kokoflamingo
5 years ago
A dark angel? X
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RHP User
5 years ago
I usually draw the analogy with selling a car.... Are you a shit salesman if you can’t convince every customer in your door to buy a car from you?? No...you win some, you lose some. When success seems to be redefining who you are, it’s time to redefine success.... Mr Dragon
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RHP User
5 years ago
I have the same problem , even I don’t care much about other preference , reject , I will not take like an offence . But I been here 4 years on and off even with a couple profile. I’m little bit taller then you 5.6 and yes can be a problem , very often here I got reject from woman only couple of Cm taller because of that , I accept is they’re preference . But the problem is not that one , the problem is some woman really expecting unrealistic preference , especially this kind of website is born for connection people with kinky interest , not for found the perfect man to married. In Italy we have different mentality , is true the looks is important , but don’t have to be perfect in everything, don’t have to tick off all the preference , if someone looks good , that’s it ... Example here I’m not looking the perfect girl what will fit for the rest of my life , I’m looking what I wouldn’t be able to chase in everyday life , like thresome or have nice time with a woman more mature then me. I will not looking if they bigger , taller ... if is what I’m looking for that’s it, I’m happy to meet. Here some woman even you have basically all want they looking for , still found some excuse , and how you can se , lot of profile , don’t have any validation from other member , basically I’m not feel any depressed if get rejected, what made me feels bad is the so much time wasted here for chase something , what in the end can ended well only few times a hear
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RHP User
5 years ago
Basically even been upgraded member dosent change much , because the really keen couple and woman want meet you , very often they will found you , they will be always paid member and they will have lot of positive review. When you looking into profile without validation from other member , very often is just a waste of time because they are only playing , or fake profile to collect pictures!
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sweetnsensual
5 years ago
We used to feel down if were rejected but have figured out now how RHP works so have not had any dissapointments in the last 18 months. It is hard as a single girl or guy. We have numerous single girlfriends who tell us the ups and downs.The best way to go forward is to not have expectations about a meet and if its a no from either party you are ok with it. When things go well its amazing! Hang in there and our advice is to attend social meet and greets and get to be known as a person not just a profile. Hope that helps though it looks like you have gone already.
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