Adult Forums   \   Couples' Corner   \   Is this a common thing or ?

+ New Topic

RHP

RHP User

M48 F49

Is this a common thing or ?

May 20 2017

people power

We were wondering how often this happens? You get approached by another ( couples, singles...doesn't really matter)... You exchange galleries ...than you just don't hear from them? I get the fact that not everyone is for everyone... We have been attracted to bodies and profiles...only to find that once we saw the faces, we didn't feel a spark...that's just one of those things I guess, it's there or it's not:) But if someone has been trusting towards us enough, to allow us access to their galleries... We have always payed them the basic respect of a " thanks, but you're not who we're looking for" message... It's not that hard and just common courtesy really 😳 We had a bit of a break for a while...and only recently started to dip our toes back in... But this has never really happened to us in the past... If someone didn't find us attractive, or visa versa....either of us would just say so and that was that... I know that no answer is an answer...and we are more than cool with not being everyone's cup of tea... But still... Has the cyber world really became so cold, discarding and impersonal ...or is it just us, who's values became old fashioned and out dated?😉

reply

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    It happens to us a fair bit to be honest, we believe we are an attractive couple just looking for another female to join us for a safe fun time. Its a little dissapointing when u don't get a response back. 😕 - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    We have a policy of not sharing Galleries until we have met people. If people are genuine they seem to understand this, and we find it helps highlight people who are only looking for a quick hook up. Don’t know if this works for others but we have found it successful and it has allowed us to make some great friends via RHP. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • rupamohan

    rupamohan

    8 years ago

    Yes...no answer is an answer...net is impersonal...simply a keyboard interacting with other keyboard till you have heard female voice from other end.. If you exchange pic with unverified profile or before talking to female on other side. There is a chance that you have met a pic collector. This is very convenient reason but our view is this assumption is highly over stated. One reason being this explanation fits in sub conscious mind that our pics are worth collecting.

    reply

  • rupamohan

    rupamohan

    8 years ago

    We won't need your galleries after we have anyway seen you in real..but we understand others may think different to us. Quoting 'lifestylecruise' We have a policy of not sharing Galleries until we have met people. If people are genuine they seem to understand this, and we find it helps highlight people who are only looking for a quick hook up. Don’t know if this works for others but we have found it successful and it has allowed us to make some great friends via RHP. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Can also be a turnoff. How many times do you see an open gallery that only shows snippets of a person. Then when you get the private pics, it's someone totally different. Or our personal favourite, no pics of the male portion of a couple in the open file. Then only cock-shots to gauge who they really are in their private album. I agree that getting no reply is a downer. But lets be MORE HONEST with our pics up front. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    thanks for the post...sorry to hear about your troubles....single girls get a lot of attention here, so it can be hard to stand out from the crowd...just be patient and i am sure you will connect with the right person to make it clear...this post was not a rant...just a simple comment on how much things have changed, that's all....and curiosity to find out if this is the new norm now:) and i am not talking about us approaching people and then not get a response...that can be hurtful too i am sure....but we personally not that fussed if that happens... what i am talking about is having exchanged a few messages...getting down to the " let's exchange galleries" part...then never hear back...maybe some people are not that comfortable telling someone they don't feel a spark with them....but i much rather that, than the alternative... we do also think we look ok...lol...but beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and although neither of us seem to have any trouble attracting attention in real life...RHP can be different...we are cool with that...and would never have any issue with someone not finding us attractive.....but a little courtesy of saying so would be nice, if thats the case... but life is too short ...and we all have real life problems to worry about, like paying the bills...lolxx

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    so how exactly do you gauge if there is an attraction, if you never see each other's faces? :)or how do you recognise each other when you meet?

    reply

  • DynamicCouple36

    DynamicCouple36

    8 years ago

    And it happens a lot on here. Many are just photo hunters and have no intention of ever meeting up. For this reason, we make it clear that we will only consider opening our private face photos, to verified profiles or once we have establish that they are, who they say they are. We also do not open our nude private photos unless we have actually met the others in real life, and even then it's at our discretion. It's unfortunate that so many, on here, judge a book by its cover and that a first glimpse of face photos can make or break a potential meeting. We have found that it's actually much nicer to get to know people in a real life, face to face meeting, than simply relying on their face photos as being the most important criteria. Photos do not always accurately portray the real person, which in many cases turns out to be a lot more attractive (at least in our opinion & experience ) than their face photos. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I guess what we are saying is it isn't all about looks for us, it is about making a connection. If someone runs away when you tell them we don't share pics until we have met, we feel they are primarily focused on looks and may not be what we are looking for. You could say we use this as an initial filter. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • compressor

    compressor

    8 years ago

    if I received a message from someone I would only be too happy to reply. don't get many lol

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    A lot of people do the whole ghosting thing these days. When I play as a couple with a friend, we see it a lot. Some folks are all talk until it comes to setting a meet up date, then they dissspear. It makes me wonder if they're truly ready for couple play or have just one foot in the water. As a single, it's the same thing but more common. It seems like the digital world has given people a sense of entitlement but no manners required mindset. For me, single men under 35 seem to be the worst perpetrators for ghosting, but couples seeking a woman is common too. The excitement builds after the initial messages and picture swaps, you set a date and place everyone is comfy with and then they either disappear or the excuse message comes in last minute. I agree with the previous comments that social media has desensitised people to each other's feelings. It's very frustrating but yes, very common. - Posted from rhpmobile

    reply

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    8 years ago

    We are all at a bar with bags over our heads..... We have our sexy gear on and like what we see..... Excuse me, can you take your bag off? Err...... Geesus, wasn't expecting that head on that body and quietly shuffles away along the bar.....

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    would hope to believe that what's under that bag isn't so cringe worthy....lolbut indeed it is a possibilityguess my point was, that i would not be asking for that bag to be taken off, if i wasn't prepared to give a polite feedback, regardless of what i may find under the bag...either a "WOW, that looks even better...can we chat please?"...or an " oh i am sorry, that's not what i was hoping to find...you may put that bag back on, thank you for your time and have a good day"...:) but yeah, i get the point...xx

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    "Has the cyber world really became so cold, discarding and impersonal ...or is it just us, who's values became old fashioned and out dated?😉" I imagine it's easy for many to treat humans online, coldly and impersonally. Much like it were an online shopping catalogue. Because superficially, that's what social websites look like.

    reply

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'moments_in_time' would hope to believe that what's under that bag isn't so cringe worthy....lolbut indeed it is a possibilityguess my point was, that i would not be asking for that bag to be taken off, if i wasn't prepared to give a polite feedback, regardless of what i may find under the bag...either a "WOW, that looks even better...can we chat please?"...or an " oh i am sorry, that's not what i was hoping to find...you may put that bag back on, thank you for your time and have a good day"...:) but yeah, i get the point...xx Is there a way to give polite feedback to someone you consider not attractive enough to fuck............ Mum used to teach us"if you have nothing nice to say, shuffle quietly to the other end of the bar"

    reply

  • noeleena

    noeleena

    8 years ago

    Hi, I may come under fire here and on a few other forums because I have photos of myself and my face view as well , Now I know I,m not pretty or feminine looking female and would not be looked at by men plus my age will be a turn off, I wont show my body in nudy, as I see no point, though I,m very well known and as I,v said around the world and on many forums most are nothing like this or the other 3 I,m on , May be being so well known this could be an issue others on these forums would rather not have any thing to do with me for fear of being outed, yet I know quite a few in our NZ swingers so is not an issues and I do get invited back to other meetings we have , Now I note many here have looking at my photo and details and that's okay, just one detail is very pointed no one has made any contact, because I,m in NZ , I have made contact with a Mellbourne swingers wether I can be there on the day they have a meetup ,I may not. july 8 th Through these forums I do try to make contact with others , so far nothing, so I quess theres no interest about who I am, Comes down to hiding behind a screen and with a name of sorts that does not reflect the person. in real life ,some thing I,m finding out about people and the net, how many can say they are happy for others to know about who one is , I have and so I spos others are not so forth coming. quess not, At the least your finding out about my self , ...noeleena...

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Different strokes for different folks:) Guess we all deal with things in our own ways... I respect your approach...mine would be a different one... But guess that's what makes us all unique and beautiful in our own way Xx

    reply

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    8 years ago

    Quoting 'noeleena' Hi, I may come under fire here and on a few other forums because I have photos of myself and my face view as well , Now I know I,m not pretty or feminine looking female and would not be looked at by men plus my age will be a turn off, I wont show my body in nudy, as I see no point, though I,m very well known and as I,v said around the world and on many forums most are nothing like this or the other 3 I,m on , May be being so well known this could be an issue others on these forums would rather not have any thing to do with me for fear of being outed, yet I know quite a few in our NZ swingers so is not an issues and I do get invited back to other meetings we have , Now I note many here have looking at my photo and details and that's okay, just one detail is very pointed no one has made any contact, because I,m in NZ , I have made contact with a Mellbourne swingers wether I can be there on the day they have a meetup ,I may not. july 8 th Through these forums I do try to make contact with others , so far nothing, so I quess theres no interest about who I am, Comes down to hiding behind a screen and with a name of sorts that does not reflect the person. in real life ,some thing I,m finding out about people and the net, how many can say they are happy for others to know about who one is , I have and so I spos others are not so forth coming. quess not, At the least your finding out about my self , ...noeleena... I'm up for a chat whenever. Any forumite that messages will get a chat.On the 8th July I will be there to chat though I think I'm male that night. Why not come to saints and sinners the night before as well. I will be me.

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    my opinion about this, the no reply thing, or ghosting, I've talked about in other topics. I don't think anyone owes you anything, particularly when they have to have a pg opened to see not only your faces, but I would assume a better look at you both in an overall sense, when if they saw that to begin with, they may not have started communicating at all, so how is that their fault? It's your choice how you approach this, and I respect we all approach in a different way BUT you also have to be realistic about the aligned response. Few things that I think you could do to improve your experience, expecting a reply however, isn't one of them. First, add a whole lot more vision. People need to see all of you. Keep your face pictures in pg if you need to, just be aware that bodies are just that, the face is the main attraction for most people, and I can add there, I have a lot of hot bodies come my way, I'm not always attracted to the face or the all over 'real' vision however when it is revealed. In relation to that, you might assume it's your face they are not attracted to, but it might be they recognise you/know you, they aren't into your body shape (not size but shape, you know some like lean, some like stocky), they might have a fetish for brunettes and you might be blonde, they might see something in the background of a picture, any number of things, it might not be the faces, but what does it matter, it's either a positive reaction or not, if not just move on, no point beating a dead horse, focus on the next one. Re opening face pictures. If I was only given face pictures, chopped off at the head and shoulders, I wouldn't reply, not suggesting your pictures are like that, but 'bittie' pictures without seeing the whole person, for me raises red flags and I move on. I had a couple flirt me today, checked the profile, all pictures of her, one only of him, chest area with a shirt on, won't even get a reply. Due respect, but I believe there is deception in not showing more of yourselves, and in not doing that, people owe you nothing, they don't anyway. And meeting without seeing the face or whole person? Not in my world, not ever 😃

    reply

  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    8 years ago

    That's because most of the idiots here view the place as a sex site and all common sense, ettiquette, respect goes out the window because of the way this place is marketed. And Pic Collectors abound here so the couples you thought you were liaising with could've just been single guys who needed new fodder for their "wank back" (shrugs) sad but true. I hope you removed their access to your pictures via the lists. Good housekeeping is a must here

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    i appreciate people taking time out to share their views and opinions...it can certainly be an eye opener indeed... that to be said...i think this topic kinda went down a misguided route a little...to make it clear...this post was not intended to be a rant or bitching session or a "poor me""...we do ok here, some like us, some don't...just as we like some people and others we don't feel attracted to...it's no big deal...we are not here to reassure our ego that we've still got it...or collect the notches on our bedpost by screwing as many people as we possibly can...attraction is a funny thing...and yes, we have also talked to couples where we were attracted to the bodies, but not the faces...as i said before, that is perfectly cool and expected on here... i was simply curious as to whether not saying "boo" once galleries were granted is something that is more common now than it used to be...we never had a problem with writing a short, polite response saying "sorry, you are not who we're looking for, good luck in your search"....but i do realise we are all different, and some are just more comfortable with saying nothing.... guess my default setting is to assume that everyone behind their keyboard somewhere is a human being, with feelings and emotions...and so we always thought that a polite way of telling people they are not our cup of tea was more respectful then just not responding...and was curious on other's take on this...but perhaps i am wrong...and not saying anything is the more accepted way of rejecting people than saying it so:) either way...thank you again for sharing your thoughtsxx

    reply

  • noeleena

    noeleena

    8 years ago

    Hi Annie I have had a talk with my friend in Tas,e we have not booked the flights over yet , okay ? s . no matter the day though would be friday night about 6 pm I arrive at Melbourne airport, , now where do I sleep as I don't know Mell at all ? , where to stay . could I meet you some where ?, now have no idear where the Hidden Heaven is and how to get there ? , then a taxi back to where I, hopefully staying , then in the morning to Mel airport to get to Tas,e. A lot of ?s and I have no answers for, Sorry for all the ? s I need to plan details out so I know whats going on and how to do what I need to. Plus not knowing each other or others makes things very iffy , the idear of doing it all is okay , to dom it is another matter, ....Oh dear......you may have some idears that may work sorry to put this on you, thank you, ...noeleena...

    reply

  • swingalingson

    swingalingson

    8 years ago

    Some people are just pic collectors. You pay them the courtesy by giving your pics. With that payment you give them, then they put it in the bank of wank. Picture collectors wank at someone elses pics. They will not go any further to meet or chat again or give pics. It is an addiction. They do not respond because they go from ex to the next. Beware of wanks in the bank having a wank with your pic deposit.🍌💦💦💦

    reply

  • AnnieWhichway

    AnnieWhichway

    8 years ago

    Sent a message to take it out of the public arena. Annie

    reply

Tags

View all

sex

swingers

couples

swinging

redhotpie

women

relationships

advice

messages

dating

Boards

Forum help

Get the RedHotPie app
appStore googlePlay

Contact Us

®2001 - 2025 Digital Quarter Pty Ltd - All Rights Reserved The word RedHotPie and the RedHotPie logo style are trademarks of Digital Quarter Pty Ltd.

X