F41
Is this a reasonable request?
December 01 2014
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Do you ask all potential lovers or only the ones from RHP?
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Wildgal4u
10 years ago
I would also be prepared to answer the same question if it was asked of me...no problem at all. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't ask about their lovers, they may lie anyway. I can control how safe the sex I'm having is though by taking the right precautions.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with Funlover71. There's no point in asking "potential sexual partners about their current 'sexual'partner status" . They could very well lie. But if it makes you feel "better" then go ahead. I do sometimes ask men how many women they have met and been involved with from RHP; but not for the same reasons as yours. I am just curious as I am still new to the "dating scene". Take the "safety precautions" yourself. Make sure that the men wear condoms and do not perform oral sex !!! Unprotected sexual intercourse and oral sex are two ways in which STIs can be transmitted !!! Amy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have to agree with Funlover here. People will fib to protect them self. If I asked someone who they have been with lately. I would expect the answer (if I got one ) to be 50 / 50. Regardless' you still need to take precautions anyway.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes I think it is reasonable to ask for safe sex practices. And of course swingers and people that attend parties, and swingers clubs are more high risk. However I don't think it is reasonable to ask people about sexual partners or numbers. I dont think that is any of your business. I only would discuss that wih serious lovers. Besides I don't keep a spreadsheet like some. :P
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RHP User
10 years ago
What if a guy attends gang bangs? He is probably bonking people there but he is not "seeing" them. What about guys that hook up randomly with other guys... They are not seeing them. Too ambiguous.
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Mr_MrsAraps
10 years ago
I don't get it Are you rejecting people who tell you what you want to hear (yeah sure I am safe ..... cause no one ever lies to get laid) compared to someone who is open and honest of having say HPV and then do you reject them for having something ?? Some STI's which are pretty low grade in the scheme of things like HPV compared to Hep C and HIV. While no one would ever want to catch HIV, its not the death sentence it was in the 80's with the grim reaper adds on TV. Sex along with sky diving, driving and breathing all have risks associated with them so all you can do is weight up the risk and mitigate them with thins such as safe sex with condoms etc which you are doing but asking them ..... well that isn't an exact science now is it.
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
If illusions give you peace of mind...... then do what gives you comfort.
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
As long you're the one that is practicing safe sex, then does it matter? How many lovers that someone has really hasn't got anything to do with you. I believe in being open and honest with the people I enjoy and I expect the same from them, but it doesn't always happen like that. At the end of the day, it's up to you as to what questions you ask, because you're the one that needs to feel comfortable and ultimately your sexual safety is in your own hands and your responsibility....💋
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RHP User
10 years ago
But how do you know they will tell you the truth, especially if they're someone you've just met? To be safe, always carry your own condoms. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hmmm, Monopoly anyone. Cheers, N
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just want to point out that hepatitis c is not generally considered an std. A couple with one infected partner can have unprotected sex. It's generally only when there's rough sex and both people are bleeding. People with hepatitis c can breastfeed to as it's not in bodily fluids except blood.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You may be confusing it with hep b which you can get from sex. I think everyone should get immunized for hepatitis b. I am as are my regular partners (they are immunized for work) I only know about hep as I did two medical survey things this year where I had to read pamphlets then answer questions about what I learned. They use this info to make the pamphlets as effective as possible.
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inspirit
10 years ago
be 100% sure you are having safe sex. Never.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Did Funlover actually give a serious answer?? And one that I totally agree with!! They can tell you anything and you would know no different Just protect yourself - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
People keep a spreadsheet? Haha, maybe I can interest them in using Power BI from Microsoft. Hmm..is this site like the ABC where we can't mention brands on here? Seriously though, everyone should ask and even then practise safe sex until both trust each other. Oh yes, and get tested every 3 months or so. Heck, it is even worth the $7 co-payment if it happens. Quoting 'Meeka100' Yes I think it is reasonable to ask for safe sex practices. And of course swingers and people that attend parties, and swingers clubs are more high risk. However I don't think it is reasonable to ask people about sexual partners or numbers. I dont think that is any of your business. I only would discuss that wih serious lovers. Besides I don't keep a spreadsheet like some. :P
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RHP User
10 years ago
I agree with Funlover too. When I have sex with people who aren't close friends, I only trust myself.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When you buy a second hand car you do as much research on it as you can! Has it been takin care of has it been in crash an so on? People are much the same as the second hand car ? We all ssk question re the history ? And it's wise to do so... In saying that I'd think most me averages her haven't had hundreds of partners lol... Just my thoughts
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' I don't ask about their lovers, they may lie anyway. I can control how safe the sex I'm having is though by taking the right precautions. I hope you do not think that you are so safe that you don't need the regular check ups.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Bite me :p please.
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RHP User
10 years ago
There is not such thing as safe sex. Many people always use protection and still they end up with an STI. Just a tiny bit of plastic between two sweaty writhing lovers. Multiple entry points, hands unprotected move from pussy to cock and back, maybe if its just Mr Dull and Miss Plain for the weekly quick 5 min missionary, condoms are very safe. But long nights swinging from the rafters funky porno beat sex, condoms will help you feel safer, but they will only marginal decrease your chances not coming into contact with any of her or his vector carrying juices, body parts, or spilled wet spots. If you are a card carrying sexual deviant like me you do your best to make sure every one you know gets tested as often as possible, it helps you relax a little after the 3rd plastic wrap break down, leaves you with but one ultra slim, dusted of from the back of a draw's forgotten hope, looking as nervous as an over inflated balloon in a cactus garden. I do at times wonder how some people that describe their, sanitized, cover, dip, remove, wash, elbows only, recover, dip remove, wash, disinfectants, mop, sheet changing, wash, cover, dip, remove, wash sex life mange to find time to enjoy sex. If you feel that the person you are going to have sex with can not be trusted, just don't have sex, its easy and a hell of a lot safer than a two bit plastic cap he got on his last Bail "shopping" holiday. If you really dig him and want it, tell him to get tested. if he say he just had one, just say, another wont hurt, Ill come with you.
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RHP User
10 years ago
isn't even a sure safe way of telling if you are safe. Some things take longer to show up than others and in the mean time if you have a few sexual partners, you could effectively unknowingly exposed someone to an STI before you even know it. Fortunately, I have never contracted an STI and I have had several doctors that have tested me and I have asked for some sort of report that I can show that I have cleared the tests at the time but the doctors will not provide them because they are only applicable up to the time the tests were done and again, do not include STI's that may have not shown up in the system yet. You can pick up an STI the day after a test and if you get tested once every 3 months like me, that is a lot of people to potentially infect in the meantime. I had one incident where a married man who got busted and accused me of giving him an STI out of spite and the doctor allowed me to take that report to prove he was full of shit. (For the record, I did not know he was married, hence the spite when I told him to get fucked and told his wife everything after she contacted me.)
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Paradisepair
10 years ago
After a vanilla girlfriend told me of a pregnancy scare after a fling. I think most real players are more likely to get regularly tested than their vanilla counterparts who put out just as often. I recently met a male porn star who claimed to have slept with over 5000 women yet never picked up anything. I believed him because the testing in that industry is so valued.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74'I have asked for some sort of report that I can show that I have cleared the tests at the time but the doctors will not provide them because they are only applicable up to the time the tests were done and again, do not include STI's that may have not shown up in the system yet. The GP's in the medical center I go to usually offer a printout without me asking. They're dated and the results are specified per STI tested for, so I don't see the problem? What are others' experiences?
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Mr_MrsAraps
10 years ago
Quoting 'electra333' Just want to point out that hepatitis c is not generally considered an std. A couple with one infected partner can have unprotected sex. It's generally only when there's rough sex and both people are bleeding. People with hepatitis c can breastfeed to as it's not in bodily fluids except blood.
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RHP User
10 years ago
if RHP should have a spot for recently tested STI check with green tick ! Like other validations , but most told me ! Will not help people lie , and sex can be full of allsorts of problems ohh ! You should always take it upon yourself to protect yourself or dont fuck ! Ohh ! Really ! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I think you meant don't fuck up.
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RHP User
10 years ago
But every person that me and those like me convince to get tested can potentially protect 100's of others from STI's. I am selfish because one of those 100's could be me or you that is reading this now. Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'ralf74'I have asked for some sort of report that I can show that I have cleared the tests at the time but the doctors will not provide them because they are only applicable up to the time the tests were done and again, do not include STI's that may have not shown up in the system yet. The GP's in the medical center I go to usually offer a printout without me asking. They're dated and the results are specified per STI tested for, so I don't see the problem? Meander Personally i would not trust a printout, to easy to duplicate, even when they use the emboss, special medical centres\ paper, you can not be sure as there is no consistence between one center and the next. I was about to say they should have a web site. But then I remembered EHealth gov au It would take a lot of work to fake that. Though I have not signed up yet (never had a need) I will see what it takes, and then have a look at how its displayed. If individual checks are listed on separate pages (just in-case I want to hide some embarrassing information) then I would have no problem logigng on via a computer or phone, flipping to the page with the latest result and showing someone the latest results if the trust was not there. It would be nice if you could give someone a one time access code to only that page, they could log on with the code and see your latest results.In the past when I was a player, I always asked, have you been tested, (strangely nobody has ever asked first). I guess I have become overly cynical because many more people say yes than the reported check rates. But its an easy one to discover because people that have not been tested are usually not aware of what goes on. I am not trying to expose a lie to humiliate them, I just want to know. RalfI agree that tests are not perfect, that the moment you have sex, protected or not you are a potencial risk to others. You can even pick something up before the test and it has not had time to invoke your immune system response to produce the anti bodies or what ever markers the test look for. There are false negatives, clerical errors, and plain old incompetence. There is also the drama of false positives, I know people that have had to deal with that.Testing is a very selfless thing to do as it does not protect you, all it does is tell you if you have something or not with a reasonable level of certainty. Most people that do test positive have the social maturity to not engage in risky behavior. My personal level of trust in condoms is so low that I will not have sex with someone if they have an STI, nor if I had one would I say its safe if I use the plastic.To AllOn its own testing is useless. Testing only becomes an effective method of protection if a reasonable majority of the active population do it. I am very vocal in regard to what I believe is a social responsibility, in the swinging scene I believe that testing is an imperative and those that do not get tested are just selfish.Condoms reduce risk, they are particularly effective against some STI and in the swinging scene condom offer a good level of protection. In an ongoing sexual partnership condoms really offer no benefit. Condoms have been used to try and stop STI's in isolated communities with high levels of STIs and have not been able to remove the problem. The only effect solution that has been proven to work is testing. Studies have been done that show that if one quarter of the active population of a country has biyearly tests that in under two years STIs would virtually disrepair.This is where I get my boxers in a knot about the ongoing condom safe sex debate. Today in Australia we could decide that this time next year STI would no long be a problem, and eliminate them completely in a generation. Its so absurdly simple it boggles the mind why its not already been done. 2015 if every single sexually active person gets tested at least 2 maybe 4 times for the first year, and positive people do not (sorry for those that have something) do not engage in sex with negative people STIs will be nothing more than a distant memory like small pox. Condoms will be nothing more than the contraceptive they where designed to be.Condoms offer nothing but false hope to the selfish needs of personal protection, Testing offers a socially responsible solution that can eliminate the problem once and for all.If you are STI positive but untested and unaware you have something, One test can protect all your future sexual partners, if you believe that condoms are only way to protect your self, you put all your future partners at risk, and their's and so on. This is such a no brainier, why are people on these forum's still promoting the flawed Safe Sex stance, decreasing personal risk is a selfish stance, you may already be infected.Test Test Test Test!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes very reasonable - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'ralf74'I have asked for some sort of report that I can show that I have cleared the tests at the time but the doctors will not provide them because they are only applicable up to the time the tests were done and again, do not include STI's that may have not shown up in the system yet. The GP's in the medical center I go to usually offer a printout without me asking. They're dated and the results are specified per STI tested for, so I don't see the problem? What are others' experiences? I get tested regularly when I'm playing and always get a copy of the report..... I show my lover/s and they show me mine (sounds like an adolescent game eh...). All clean btw
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hi Blindman Great dissertation, I agree wholeheartedly. We can eliminate small pox and polio, why not STI's. I think your comment about clearing this up in a generation is pertinent. The only STI that would be problematic is Herpes. However, I believe from recent reports a cure (or at least an inoculation) is close.... So perhaps we should start a get up petition and get the Government to do something about this.... However I think the biggest issue is embarrassment asking a Dr for the tests, if we could overcome that stigma then we would all benefit.... Thanks for your post.
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SacralChakra
10 years ago
...they give me all the printouts with the results when I ask for them...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some GPs are good and they give you the printout without needing to ask but a few have to be prompted and they give you a look like they are going out of their way to do me a favour by giving me a copy. But, it is the our results so we are entitled to it.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My doctor always asks me why I want to be tested. Is this really a necessary question?
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Missb4u
10 years ago
Told me to give up anal...
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RHP User
10 years ago
My doctor told me I should also get annual Pap smears (not every second year) because I love bi-sexual men. Men CAN be very promiscous so... Mind you I have had the vaccine as well. That is in addition to all the tests. I have two doctors I go to and I have mentioned swingers clubs to one of them. Lol MissB tell your doc that is a deal breaker. You have to have bum love! Christ better not tell them about the whips and chains and groups watching. PS your immune system also has something to do with it too. I have PCO tendencies (apparently) so that makes me more susceptible to infections. So I can suck 10 dicks with a friend and I might pick something up and he won't. Grrrr :p
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RHP User
10 years ago
The men that want to forgo the condom even when they know you are not on any other contraceptive. Maybe that is so horrifying to me because I am a woman?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meeka, I guess it depends which brain they use. Then again, it is a bigger issue for me. While I am pro-choice, I am hoping the choice will be to keep the baby. So, best to avoid that by using the condom if no other contraceptive is used. Quoting 'Meeka100' The men that want to forgo the condom even when they know you are not on any other contraceptive. Maybe that is so horrifying to me because I am a woman?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Unfortunately sex shaming is not uncommon among GP's, which I think is a real shame. Of course they're people like all of us, with their own views and beliefs, but they were all trained to ask the questions without passing judgement. As a result of their sexual behaviour being frowned upon, patients might not go to their doctor with symptoms of an STD, for fear of being made felt bad about it. I was lucky with my GP, she knows I'm a single swinger and have sex with both men and women, and told me she was glad I was open with her, as it may give her a better idea of what to look for if I turned up with health complaints. L4Q, if my GP asked me why I felt the need to be tested (again) I'd tell him or her I have a lot of sexual partners and my health and safety are important to me. Depending on the reaction I got, I would either stay or find myself another doctor. Missb: Is there any medical reason your GP suggesting this, like hemorrhoids? If it is more about the GP's morals than your health, I'd get the hell out. That's not right.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Meander Personally i would not trust a printout, to easy to duplicate, even when they use the emboss, special medical centres\ paper, you can not be sure as there is no consistence between one center and the next. I have never shown a printout to someone, nor have I ever asked for one. I agree that any test results only give a snapshot of the days someone got tested, and even then it may have been to early for some illnesses to show up due to their incubation time. Besides, I would only be interested in the results if I ever decided to stop using condoms with a steady lover anyway.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I don't understand your post. If everyone gets tested, a portion of them will have STIs. If they keep having sex, which they likely will, the chance of passing on the STI remains, whether they do or don't disclose their status. So how does testing eliminate STIs? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
For sure, ask whatever question you feel is appropriate for you. The answer, like others have suggested, may not be the truth. I used to work in an environment with a lot of drug users... we were not allowed to be informed of their medical status.... therefore we assumed they all had something. How we did our job was up to us as individuals, and some went to extreme lengths, while others to just the required precautions. Life is full of risks.... we just have to be comfortable with the degree of risk we choose t take. Testing. I have been asked why I want and STI check once. I was a little taken back by the question because I'd never been asked before. I sort of understand why the doctor asked, but don't think it is a good question to ask..... I think if a patient requests it the a broad screening should be done. If the results come back with anything suss, then the doctor should ask questions. My response was it is a regular check... he then started to ask about my partners and sexual practices before even authorising the tests .... I never went back to him for another check. It felt like having your temperature checked anally when orally would have done. If the results were positive (which they weren't) then ask all the questions you want.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Missb: Is there any medical reason your GP suggesting this, like hemorrhoids? If it is more about the GP's morals than your health, I'd get the hell out. That's not right. No I don't have haemorrhoids. I had a very severe infection when a guy went arse to pussy. I was very sick and it took ages to clear it up Quoting 'Meeka100' MissB tell your doc that is a deal breaker. You have to have bum love! Christ better not tell them about the whips and chains and groups watching. I know right! I'm not giving up my bum love just choosing partners for it better. Next visit I will mention multiple partners and see how she reacts. baby steps leading up to the whips and chains disclosure.
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Missb4u
10 years ago
that's obviously meander ^^
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Burning_Love' I don't understand your post. If everyone gets tested, a portion of them will have STIs. If they keep having sex, which they likely will, the chance of passing on the STI remains, whether they do or don't disclose their status. So how does testing eliminate STIs? - Posted from rhpmobile The assumption is that most people that become aware of their status will. A: get cured if it is curable thus eliminating all those STI and the thousands of people that are completely unaware that they are infected would be promoted to get rid of the infection and stop it spreading. B: For the dangerous ones that can not be cured they will have to disclose. By far the majority of people will act responsibly if they discover that they are infected. Yes there will be people that will still have sex and not disclose that they are infected but they will be in a minority. The numbers are already rather small for the dangerous incurable infection, and its the people that are carriers that don't get tested that are spreading these infections because they are unaware that they have anything at all. I personally would not have sex if I had a dangerous infection, I would think most people would not risk it by having sex with someone that disclosed that they had something, even with a condom on we all know that it is not safe. Its a numbers game, once the numbers are reduced and testing is done regularly, it then becomes easier to locate and stop individuals that play with people lives via not informing them of their status. In my book its a form of rape, as I would not have sex if I were told that someone had a dangerous infection. I would ask, would you have sex with someone that you knew had an infection with a condom on?If not why would you feel safe behind a condom if you where unaware of their status? The big problem STIs in Australia are still curable, why do we allow people to have sex protected or not without knowing if they have something.
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RHP User
10 years ago
It was based on assumptions that people would get treated and/or disclose. Most probably would, but I'm still not sure I see widespread testing as some kind of cureall. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
A housemate pinned this to my door" Take the advice of one who knows and tie your nightie to your toes" xxFreya79
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' A housemate pinned this to my door" Take the advice of one who knows and tie your nightie to your toes" xxFreya79
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RHP User
10 years ago
Comes in handy but unfortunately it doesn't protect against std's. Personally I hate condoms and would rather spend time establishing an understanding with someone and take it from there. If in doubt or extreme lust however, cover up or miss out. As far as discussing it I think pretty much as soon as it's clear sex is going to happen the rules of engagement should be resolved so it's done and dusted and the fun stuff like flirting, emotional blackmail, depravation torture and ego stroking/teasing can begin ! 😜
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RHP User
10 years ago
I have never been refused a printed result. In fact, some of my G.P's have ticked the box where it tells the lab to send me the results at the same time they send them to the Dr. I always ask them to do this. You can do it for any test result, does not matter what it is. Of course, it is at the discretion of your Dr., but most I have asked have complied.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'dacougarbitch' I have never been refused a printed result. In fact, some of my G.P's have ticked the box where it tells the lab to send me the results at the same time they send them to the Dr. I always ask them to do this. You can do it for any test result, does not matter what it is. Of course, it is at the discretion of your Dr., but most I have asked have complied. Just a slight amendment. Your Dr may not withhold any information regarding your medical records. The Australian freedom of information act gives us all the right to request and receive all information gathered by the medical system in regard to our own heath. They may charge you to provide the information but they will be breaking the law if they refuse. You may also choose the format that the information is supplied.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Just have safe sex. Their partners are none of ure business - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Quoting 'dacougarbitch' I have never been refused a printed result. In fact, some of my G.P's have ticked the box where it tells the lab to send me the results at the same time they send them to the Dr. I always ask them to do this. You can do it for any test result, does not matter what it is. Of course, it is at the discretion of your Dr., but most I have asked have complied. Just a slight amendment. Your Dr may not withhold any information regarding your medical records. I think dacougar meant the "sending the results to her home" part is at the discretion of the GP?
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