M53 F57
It's Just sex or is it more for you
November 27 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
What about you wefukgood?
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RHP User
11 years ago
It’s more than sex I have with the men I see. I get out from here what I put in. I am not afraid to ask for what I want. I don’t really expect anything more then what each one wants to give. Still I try to have some sort of a connection. I am single, cold hard sex is not for me.....I think I am to loving for cold sex. Yes it is much nicer to have a handful of lovers, who come back, but we need to be compatible, and you don’t know until you are meeting and maybe have sex. I like the man to stay with me for a weekend when possible. I don’t have a relationship with them, however I have a connection. It’s hard to explain....what I stand for. Maybe I get one of my “beautiful Lovers to say something”.I am a happy person, because I like/love myself......its funny to write this....I am warm funny and loving. So I am not really alone....thats another strange comment.....When someone comes over I believe they feel welcome and happy in my little house
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RHP User
11 years ago
Geez where do I start.. I guess yes if I have too much random sex then it would feel a bit meaningless..even when the brain is saying how good is this.. I am still working through what is best for me..I do know I don't have random sex with one timers..i tend to see a lover a few times..I think I also don't look too deeply into it all..i think the day I do is the day I close my account..
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RHP User
11 years ago
Wow, what a broad statement. So are you saying that you can only get emotional fulfilment from Mr Fuck or from man? That you wouldn't feel happy unless you have a man in your life, that your life would be empty and worthless? I find that a little sad.
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him_and_me
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Wow, what a broad statement. So are you saying that you can only get emotional fulfilment from Mr Fuck or from man? That you wouldn't feel happy unless you have a man in your life, that your life would be empty and worthless? I find that a little sad. Hey Meeka, I read something different in the original question. I interpreted it more closely to the question title. Not that she/he wouldn't feel happy unless they had a partner, but are they connecting on any other level with those they play/meet with? Is that right fuckugood? For me, I love the idea that we have connected with others primarily on aspects other than sex. That probably has a lot to do that we haven't played much and have done more meeting/greeting that playing. However, we've met some wonderful people so far that I can see we'd catch up with just for a chat over a drink or meal. I wouldn't go so far to say we are getting emotional. In fact, we've talked before and decided that if either of us ever found that we were becoming too interested in an individual to the point that we were thinking more of them than of each other, then that is a call to end that relationship. With regards to singles on this site, I think it is each to their own. If they are looking for a partner, then often the say that in their profile. Otherwise, I suspect it is the same for us, in that they have a root, and probably make some friends too! Connecting on many levels I would think. Take it easy.him
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi wefukugood. If we don't share dinner, drinks, and a laugh, there's not too much more that sex can add to the equation. Im still pretty new here, & currently, and gratefully, I am treated like a king, revered, have crossed a few wild sexual thrills off my bucket list, still, as a single man, next thing Im chasing on my bucket list is simply falling asleep snuggling & waking up with someone. That would be very nice. I'm discovering I'm a soft as opposed to hard core swinger 😃 Yet, this has suited me in where I am at in my life. I am not sex obsessed. It is a means to enjoying myself and my body, making new friends and connections, and keeping a flow of vital essence & inspiration. If I had the time to invest, & the emotional capacity & inclination to float a close relationship, I would not be a single man. FWB is not going to meet my deepest emotional needs, but for me, it is a bridge towards them, when I am ready for that. For now, I am having fun, & think that it is both productive & creative, as opposed to escapism & living in a realm of fantasy.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not at all. And with most people I do have an emotional attachment, I had to change my phone plan to keep up with the calls and messages, but I had a bad experience today where there was absolutely no emotional connection at all. He was robotic so I get what you are saying. I felt badly for him as he was totally detached. I have talked about his life extensively and understand why, and it's truly sad, he's a nice guy, just unable to 'feel'. He is a loving father, a professional businessman, but unable to 'connect' emotionally, just physically. My heart breaks for him, he is missing out on so much. Across a table he opens up and tells me anything, physically he's a shell. Don't judge them as bad people, instead empathise that they are totally broken emotionally.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think I understand what you are trying to say. Sex with relative strangers can be fun but it lacks the deep soul connection that you can experience with someone you share an amazing, enduring and connected love with...... That laid bare feeling that this "other" truly knows you and loves you deeply anyway. The fact that their is no need for masks that someone sees "beneath your beautiful". Yes, I agree that to live without that is sad. But, remember, many have never and will never experience that and you can't miss what you've never had. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Can you have Sex without Love? Yes. Can you be in Love without Sex? Yes.So there is no confusing the point that Sex and Love are two different things. Both Sex and Love enhance each other to varying degrees depending on a persons perspective on life and their priorities. Personally I can't have sex without there being some connection, some mental attraction which triggers an emotional response (even if that emotional response is just "hey I really like that person"). Whilst that connection and emotional response may not be strong enough to be called Love it is the seed from which Love can quite often grow. So Sex can, but doesn't necessary mean it will, lead to Love because of my requirement for that connection before I become sexually interested in a person. This is why I don't generally do NSA/ONS unless the other person makes it such. As for getting what I need emotionally, I get that from wherever I need to at the time... friends, a lover or myself. SG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Of course I need love, companionship, friendship and sex etc from my husband. Unfortunately my husband doesn't fulfil many of those needs so I have a boyfriend. He fulfils many of those things and the sex is so much better because of how I feel. When we have a 3rd party join us, either male or female I look at them differently. I need to find them sexually yummy and I do like them to have a few brains and connect with us however I am not needing love, companionship etc from our pick ups. I am not meeting them in view to marriage so my wants are different. They fulfil what we need in the space of an hour or whatever and that's it. In the past when single, some guys were just purely a fuck. I really never thought of them again after that night. Callous I know! Or, is that thinking like a guy?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Wow, what a broad statement. So are you saying that you can only get emotional fulfilment from Mr Fuck or from man? That you wouldn't feel happy unless you have a man in your life, that your life would be empty and worthless? I find that a little sad. No not at all. I am currently happy with Mr Wefuk and and very happy with myself. I have just never been into sex without some sort of emotion and part of me going into it, I don't fuck strangers and it's just not me to give myself intimately without caring in some way and I guess have been lucky that I now get great physical with emotional fulfilment in my life. My emotional fulfilment in life comes from all the people in my life that I care for (daughter, family, friends and partner as well as myself). I am trying to say that if you only connect with others on a physical level only then that would possibly be an empty life emotionally and I was posing the question to others that if they are only connecting for sexual activities, Are they Happy? Because some of the OP's on here only speak of the physical side of sex and not thier psycological or emotional side. It seems all about the fucking and none of the friendship and attachment for some people on here by the way they portray themselves in these forums. And that is sad to exist with no true connections to others in my view. But my view isnt difinitive of everyones of course so I was trying to get some input from those physical only driven people out there. Life isn't worthless worthless without a good partner if you fill it with good things. But I will say that for me it is much more fun sharing it with others and not just fucking others. Yes you don't need a man to be happy but this was not what I was elluding to. My question is: Are you (other people not me) happy with just fucking other people and that's it? If so do you have fulfilling relationships with other people. Just trying to get some insight into the lives of those that only fuck and don't connect. That is if it's like that for others. I thought that was clear in my post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for you reply. That's what I was getting at. And yes it's sad for him.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Very well said. Thank you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' Can you have Sex without Love? Yes. Can you be in Love without Sex? Yes.So there is no confusing the point that Sex and Love are two different things. Both Sex and Love enhance each other to varying degrees depending on a persons perspective on life and their priorities. Personally I can't have sex without there being some connection, some mental attraction which triggers an emotional response (even if that emotional response is just "hey I really like that person"). Whilst that connection and emotional response may not be strong enough to be called Love it is the seed from which Love can quite often grow. So Sex can, but doesn't necessary mean it will, lead to Love because of my requirement for that connection before I become sexually interested in a person. This is why I don't generally do NSA/ONS unless the other person makes it such. As for getting what I need emotionally, I get that from wherever I need to at the time... friends, a lover or myself. SG Very similar to the way I think. Not so much for Mr prior to meeting me. He fucked around with whatever said yes for years after heartbreak in his twenties. I joked with him once when we were disagreeing on something that he could always go back to his old lifestyle if he wanted. His reply was: Had it's fun times but It wasn't that great c'se they were just fucks and not friends in most cases. And that wasn't just him. Many of the women that he fucked just wanted the fuck and nothing more. He made some good friends over the years.I thiink as a natural run of events for people that live that way they do pick up some friends along the way as that's just life. But those that just only want a fuck are still out there and it must feel empty to some degree, even if they m ay have never know it any other way or never fealt love. Can't help it but I read some of the forums on here with sadness at times as it's all about the physical with some.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If it is NSA well then that is what it is You can be friends but then that is FWB sex is best when its SEX in my opinion
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RHP User
11 years ago
We do meet and greets, to see if there is that spark, the intellect, the ability to have a conversation and joke, not 'just' sex.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's been a while since I have posted anything on the forums but this topic caught my attention. Every person on this site will have reasons for being here & the things which are being searched for are as varied as the people who are searching While there are people who have been hurt or damaged in their past to such a point they shut their emotions off to protect themselves & the contact they seek is only physical, this is a human connection they can make while still feeling safe & to some this can hold deep meaning. The circumstances that lead to this are tragic but these people are healing their way & doing what is right for them. It's not right or wrong & it's not for us to judge. Personally I find these people are brave. They are pushing through what at times are memories that have the potential to leave a person more inclined to shut themselves off completely & forever. It's not uncommon to find these people who are reaching for what is right for them to meet somebody who touches a place never before touched & who will be trusted enough to be given the chance to show how to take the next step if that is what is wanted. Sometimes just the human touch will be the only thing they want to feel & that is what sustains them. Never think these people are missing out on what you believe they need to have. To be this damaged & yet to still be able to reach out for anything shows the depth of connection they have made within themselves & those who are trusted enough to join with them. There are others who get what they are seeking by keeping things physical only. They want to only feel touch & explore a new body. They purposely set out to get this & are open with what they want & are prepared to give. They aren't being cold, they are using only physical senses to get pleasure. Because you don't understand this OP or acknowledge the fact it's not your thing does not mean what the person does experience is not fulfilling for them. Sex with emotion is beautiful. Sometimes sex with no emotion is what some people need & crave. What is right for one is not what is automatically right for everybody. You don't need to understand & you don't need to agree. Don't think they are missing out on something though or do not form or have those connections you speak of. Never assume & don't judge. Your lifestyle, while embraced by you, may seem as puzzling to them as you find theirs to be. It works for you though & makes you happy. Other lifestyles work for others & make those people just as happy. mrs funky
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RHP User
11 years ago
I do miss the emotional connection that comes within a relationship however I'm not prepared to sacrifice my sense of self by meeting a man on a vanilla site, have 3 dates and discover we are not compatible sexually. I like to connect mentally and physically with my lovers, and I do, but personally the men on rhp state very clearly they are not interested in any emotional connection so you know straight up what the expectations are of each other. The sexual compatibility to me is a very important part of any relationship, you can build on the rest. This is in my personal experience only that if I shared everything you both share I wouldn't be on rhp. So yes you do it to remain sexually connected in a fun, mutually respectfull manner and I have made some lovely friends who are just a part of my otherwise fullfilled life. Use it or you will lose it :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
You're making a lot of assumptions about people solely based on their posts on a sex forum. You're assuming that: - these people need the same level of emotional connection that you do - that they are not getting any emotional connection from the sex, because they don't mention it in their posts - that everyone wants and needs an emotional connection with a partner - that everyone needs an emotional connection from sex - that they are not getting an emotional connection elsewhere in their lives - that they are not just going through a particular period of their lives where they want some fun without all the other 'stuff' So you've found blissful happiness and a deep connection with your partner. That's great. But it doesn't mean that other people need or want the same thing, and there are many other ways to gain an emotional connection if you do want it. Are you actually truly concerned about these people's emotional welfare, or are you just projecting your own needs and beliefs onto them?
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precious142
11 years ago
I'm with you on this one.... NSA is just that.... FWB or FB is just that.....lets not over think or complicate these matters. I've learnt to separate lust from love.....and it works pretty good for me. I "like " the guys I meet for a shag, and while being open to meeting the "one " that I can connect with on all levels (yet to happen) I'm having fun trying out different things with different guys...
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RHP User
11 years ago
People are different and as such we all crave and are capable of different things. you mentioned 'a well rounded lifestyle'....but well rounded according to who? my idea of a well rounded lifestyle is exactly what I'm living right now, great job, great friends, good health, a place of my own and the love of my family (parents,siblings etc) oh, and great sex with who I want, where I want and when I want. A partner/bf/husband doesn't feature in my well rounded life. its not for everyone....i tried all that and found its not for me, all the guys i ever connected with treated me very well but I never stayed (unfortunately i hurt so many people in the process before I came to that realization). I dont think I'm missing out on anything...... The most I'd be wanting out of someone I have sex with is a friend (more like an acquaintance really) and just some regular sex if its good for both of us. sex is just sex, isn't it? I'm new here but I assumed (naively) that that's what most of us on here are after and anything on top of that is extras?
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RHP User
11 years ago
If not I'm sure DG has. Sex without a connection of some sort, is a mechanical release, which in my view I can achieve from my hand. It's also more respectful for a woman too if it's just mechanics, that I use my hand. We've all seen the disaster stories of men who have just "jack rabbited" and left. But..... That's their thing and not mine. I'll stick to experiencing more than just a warm, wet wank, while they can continue their journey whatever that maybe. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My post isnt about me. It's about finding out how others live. Me, I'm happy, get great sex, have great friends and find my hapiness in many things.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'him_and_me' Quoting 'Meeka100' Wow, what a broad statement. So are you saying that you can only get emotional fulfilment from Mr Fuck or from man? That you wouldn't feel happy unless you have a man in your life, that your life would be empty and worthless? I find that a little sad. Hey Meeka, I read something different in the original question. I interpreted it more closely to the question title. Not that she/he wouldn't feel happy unless they had a partner, but are they connecting on any other level with those they play/meet with? Is that right fuckugood? YES THAT's RIGHT :) For me, I love the idea that we have connected with others primarily on aspects other than sex. That probably has a lot to do that we haven't played much and have done more meeting/greeting that playing. However, we've met some wonderful people so far that I can see we'd catch up with just for a chat over a drink or meal. I wouldn't go so far to say we are getting emotional. In fact, we've talked before and decided that if either of us ever found that we were becoming too interested in an individual to the point that we were thinking more of them than of each other, then that is a call to end that relationship. With regards to singles on this site, I think it is each to their own. If they are looking for a partner, then often the say that in their profile. Otherwise, I suspect it is the same for us, in that they have a root, and probably make some friends too! Connecting on many levels I would think. Take it easy.him
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'funkyperthbicpl' It's been a while since I have posted anything on the forums but this topic caught my attention. Every person on this site will have reasons for being here & the things which are being searched for are as varied as the people who are searching While there are people who have been hurt or damaged in their past to such a point they shut their emotions off to protect themselves & the contact they seek is only physical, this is a human connection they can make while still feeling safe & to some this can hold deep meaning. The circumstances that lead to this are tragic but these people are healing their way & doing what is right for them. It's not right or wrong & it's not for us to judge. Personally I find these people are brave. They are pushing through what at times are memories that have the potential to leave a person more inclined to shut themselves off completely & forever. It's not uncommon to find these people who are reaching for what is right for them to meet somebody who touches a place never before touched & who will be trusted enough to be given the chance to show how to take the next step if that is what is wanted. Sometimes just the human touch will be the only thing they want to feel & that is what sustains them. Never think these people are missing out on what you believe they need to have. To be this damaged & yet to still be able to reach out for anything shows the depth of connection they have made within themselves & those who are trusted enough to join with them. There are others who get what they are seeking by keeping things physical only. They want to only feel touch & explore a new body. They purposely set out to get this & are open with what they want & are prepared to give. They aren't being cold, they are using only physical senses to get pleasure. Because you don't understand this OP or acknowledge the fact it's not your thing does not mean what the person does experience is not fulfilling for them. Sex with emotion is beautiful. Sometimes sex with no emotion is what some people need & crave. What is right for one is not what is automatically right for everybody. You don't need to understand & you don't need to agree. Don't think they are missing out on something though or do not form or have those connections you speak of. Never assume & don't judge. Your lifestyle, while embraced by you, may seem as puzzling to them as you find theirs to be. It works for you though & makes you happy. Other lifestyles work for others & make those people just as happy. mrs funky WOW. Great insight into others. Well said. I think I learnt more from you in just one post that many others. Not saying that people have to have what I have and not saying that what they have is wrong. Just persuing some understanding and wanting to know if they are happy with the way the lead thier lives.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'seizethemoment' I do miss the emotional connection that comes within a relationship however I'm not prepared to sacrifice my sense of self by meeting a man on a vanilla site, have 3 dates and discover we are not compatible sexually. I like to connect mentally and physically with my lovers, and I do, but personally the men on rhp state very clearly they are not interested in any emotional connection so you know straight up what the expectations are of each other. The sexual compatibility to me is a very important part of any relationship, you can build on the rest. This is in my personal experience only that if I shared everything you both share I wouldn't be on rhp. So yes you do it to remain sexually connected in a fun, mutually respectfull manner and I have made some lovely friends who are just a part of my otherwise fullfilled life. Use it or you will lose it :-) - Posted from rhpmobile Makes me smile when you mention the vanilla site and I too think this way of meeting people is less time consuming and that to go on several dates and find that you are not compatible is annoying. However it's funny that you mention vanilla. When I joined the adult online world I was so naive on the other site that I joined that my original description of me on my profile read like something from Facebook rather than something adult looking for some fun and new friends. I laugh now at my former self. I would have once said as I did with my former husband when all was warm mushy and new with love that I would never be on a site like this as happy as we were together at the time. But in not knowing Mr Wefuk you would miss that a large part of his life and who he is and was as a man when I met him was being part of the swinging scene and a lot about Sex, Sex and more Sex with making some friends here and there. Little ol conservative once was me actually fealt like having a coronary attack when he revealed how many women he had been with and It was backed up by the contact list, FB contacts and what was on his phone. Pictures the lot. My man was what I used to call a big ol male slut. lol don't get me wrong as I love him to bits but it was rather confronting to a woman who at the time was not into swinging, had been married to a man for 16 years and done the old fashioned dating thing prior with just a few long term boyfriends. MMMMMMMM I love my man c'se he's norty and he loves me and helped me find a happier me. Sorry to gush people but that's how I feel.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Luckdragon23' You're making a lot of assumptions about people solely based on their posts on a sex forum. You're assuming that: - these people need the same level of emotional connection that you do - that they are not getting any emotional connection from the sex, because they don't mention it in their posts - that everyone wants and needs an emotional connection with a partner - that everyone needs an emotional connection from sex - that they are not getting an emotional connection elsewhere in their lives - that they are not just going through a particular period of their lives where they want some fun without all the other 'stuff' So you've found blissful happiness and a deep connection with your partner. That's great. But it doesn't mean that other people need or want the same thing, and there are many other ways to gain an emotional connection if you do want it. Are you actually truly concerned about these people's emotional welfare, or are you just projecting your own needs and beliefs onto them? Probably more curious than concerned but deffinately sad in some instances. Yep totally understand that others don't necessarily need or want what I have and if they are happy with that then each to thier own and good on them. Not expecting people to follow anything or have anything that I do but just wondering how they deal with thier lifestyle. Sad is not pitty from me at all it's just an emotion I feel if I interpret a post to have an OP or a reply that makes me feel that they are missing something important in thier lives, whatever that may seem to be.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'wowwow11' If it is NSA well then that is what it is You can be friends but then that is FWB sex is best when its SEX in my opinion I will slot you into the happy pile then. lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'precious142' I'm with you on this one.... NSA is just that.... FWB or FB is just that.....lets not over think or complicate these matters. I've learnt to separate lust from love.....and it works pretty good for me. I "like " the guys I meet for a shag, and while being open to meeting the "one " that I can connect with on all levels (yet to happen) I'm having fun trying out different things with different guys... Into the happy room you go then. That's great and good to hear that you are finding what you need on here. Cheers :)
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precious142
11 years ago
So who's in the happy room with me???????
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RHP User
11 years ago
Awesome post Mrs Funky.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd have to say I much prefer having a lover or two who I see regularly rather than the cheap one-off. A once off can be fun and fill the physical needs of the time but the best sex comes when you know and connect with a lover over time. I see no issues with getting that emotional connection from a lover (kinda bit stronger connection than fb or fwb) but still being on a casual level. I am a solo poly and fiercely independent so I don't really feel the need to have a traditional life partner to feel fulfilled. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
We're not in the lifestyle to replace "the missing link." We swing because we love each other, trust each other's instincts, enjoy watching each other having sex with others, and then go back to our family lifestyle when it's time to. So for us, it's nice meeting like minded couples, having "sex" with them, as that's all it is for us.
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Splicey
11 years ago
I can't have sex with a stranger. I really don't like messing around either, because I don't like leading them. There is a connection of sorts required for me to fool around with someone, but I'm not about to fall in love with anyone. I just like sex. But with that said I have MrSplicey and if I never had anyone else ever again I would be happy and I would feel whole.
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