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RHP

RHP User

M45

Keeping Count or; The Ballad of Your Opinions

November 12 2013

numbers

Hi everyone!The other night I slid into my 100th vagina with my penis. I am disgusted with myself. I never wanted this! I wanted a house and car and blah blah blah with wife and kids and picnics and a relatively amicable divorce. Instead I am a freaking man whore. Yes, some of you have much higher stats, and some of you much lower. Regular perverts can typically claim over fifty, under a hundred. Good looking sex pest many many more. Not the point. Not bragging! Where did I go wrong? Why am I that guy who is fun to fuck around with but not marriage material? Why can I get the girls and get them naked and get them screaming but I cannot get them to stay? Why am I alone?101 is not something I want. Not like this.I realised recently I am hopelessly in love. She is fun and sweet and so cheerful and compassionate and funny and sexy and cool and aware of herself. We have the best kinds of sex, but its the hours of talking afterwards with the lights out that I adore. I love talking with her. I want her to have my children. She is a fucking warrior, a mud crawling, arse kicking self disciplined Amazonian. I'm strong and lithe and agile, quick of foot and wit and thought. Our spawn would be impressive, fearsome to behold. I want to see her in their smiling faces. Its such a strong urging/drive/compulsion/desire! Never had this before, in thirty four years. Found her! Can't have her.She doesn't trust me. This is because I lied to her. Read on if you're curious.I have seen this girl on and off since August last year. Four months on, eight off, two on, one off. After the first three, I was totally madly head over heels. At four I had recurring HSV2 symptoms. Devastated! I hadn't told her. Meds and condoms were enough, said I. So I rock up, make up some crap about sleeping with someone while she was in Thailand (actually a lie, believe it or not), tell her I'm sorry, advise she should get a test. I'm seriously heartbroken, but I knew it would come, I never gave it all, I always keep that last little spark. Protect yourself. Suck it up, suck it up. She is, of course, clear. Goodbye.We weren't bfgf, weren't exclusive, technically (if it had happened) wasn't cheating, was just bad fucking luck. So we stay friends, albeit estranged somewhat. She bakes to kill the pain. I take workahol until I'm sick, and then I burn it all and bail in self destruction. I facebook stalk her from time to time. We chat, sometimes get coffee, etc. Drift. I don't see her for four months. drown my sorrows in pussy. Forget. FML.I have to see her! I tell her I'd like to catch her (warn her I'm coming basically), then cunningly crash her friday drinks as a walk past. My heart swells with eye contact, its all still there. She is pleased and eager, feeling the same. We drink and talk and laugh and bounce back to her place. Passionate. Intense. Visceral. Mental. Soulful. We reconnect. In the morning I leave so happy. Happier than I have been in a long long time. I have a chance! She might accept me, it! That last spark flies toward her. I grab it. Not yet, lil pixie fucker.If this is so, I cannot live a lie with her. Win lose or draw, She has to know first, before we continue. So I tell her. I told her everything. Anger. Sorrow. Frustration. Disappointment. Get out. Get out! The next day I bought some nice, unlined paper. I bought a lovely pen. I wrote a six page letter. Apology, mea culpa, declaration for her. Instead of an envelope, I bound it in jute twine and Aqua di Gio. I bought four bunches of her favourite flowers, to make a super bunch. I left it at her door. She calls me the next day. Very frustrated. Very confused. I know she loves me too, or did and wanted to again. We make a date.I casually read some news later that day. Article about med research. I am paying attention! Click the links, clickety click. Leading me back to... Dr Ian Frazer, the mad scientist who brought you the HPV vaccine, commonly known as the cervical cancer vaccine, which is used worldwide, has successfully 100% cured HSV1 and HSV2 in laboratory animals of different species, and began human testing on September 9th 2013. The vaccine is also the cure. Freedom, I won't let you down!The date. She reveals to me she hadn't had an orgasm by another since I left eight months prior. The other night I gave her three. And I know she fucks as much as me. Brownie points! Why is it always sex? So she and I begin again, but every morning she quietly freaks the fuck out. I, however, begin my days with real bliss. I wake her with kisses all over, every day. I'd like to think I always would. She's made her decision, now its just coming to terms with it. If I make heap big smoke, I could break it. So I go out and get a job, and leave her to her rationalisations.All that glitters in this world....She pulls away, I cannot stop, I must not beg, but god damn I have to fight! And so I send her letters and texts and she loves them and we stutter and sputter but she can not trust me. She tells me she loves me. Adores me. Is infatuated with me. But she cannot do this. I still hold the last little spark in my fist. Protected. I'm such a coward. But smart.And so to celebrate my new found long lost friend Sorrow's triumphant return from the desolate wastes of hope, I smash the back out of a dozen or so young fillies, feeding my ego, crushing the crushing in my chest, making sure they know I am a living, breathing, walking dick god, taste my fucking A game, how lucky you are tonight! Now back home to their boyfriends most of them totter, one to her husband, the rest alone. No two hour pillow talk to send me off to sleep, wrapped in their smells and their bodies and their sheets, just a shower and a cigarette and a sigh. And loneliness.I always keep count. I don't want to have to anymore. But I will.RA

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Really? I didn't know that.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    RA, I know you didn't ask but I think... Man up dude, if you really love her act like it and stop fucking around! Stand still for one minute. Good luck though, always enjoyed your stories and the way you write. xx

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  • ruby_blossum

    ruby_blossum

    11 years ago

    ...and what Meeka said. Good to see you back here!

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Well I may have had a little more empathy for you if you hadn't mentioned "smashing the back out of a dozen young fillies" as a way to try and make yourself feel better. What a disgusting way to speak about women.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think RA has a curious charm about him which pulls in the women, and although he likes to be crude when he writes, something I appreciate, I am sure he is the total charmer in real life.... Before the turmoil and whirlwind that is RA is shown. Which sometimes I have picked up in his writing. Come on, I would tap that! Random you are gorgeous and that profile picture tells me you are cool, sexy, confident, charming, totally fuckable. .... And a total bad boy. Maybe you are the guy women like to fuck but never take seriously? ^_^

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    FFS Just sit down together and TALK! No more of these hearts and flowers stuff. No wonder you are both confused.Pusscat xxPS I hope you are wearing condoms with all the rest of them!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Wow... people keeping count.I don't get it. . . sorry.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Most definitely there are heaps of people that keep count.... Maintain a spreadsheet even, maybe give them a rating. Haha. ;-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Downand breatheLies on top of lies are never good. You need to earn her trust again. it will be hard. You also need to give her room to breathe. You may well be in this heady lusty fuked up place blah blah blah. I know it. But you need to back off and give her time. Stop bombarding and chill a little.and tell us about this vaccine

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I stopped after "Read on if you're curious". But yes, I keep count. Always have.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'CuriousRedHead' Well I may have had a little more empathy for you if you hadn't mentioned "smashing the back out of a dozen young fillies" as a way to try and make yourself feel better. What a disgusting way to speak about women. That was the point? A literary vehicle to embody the total emotional disconnection of the act, representing the total lack of self respect, partner respect, despondency and overwhelming grief experienced. I'm glad it annoyed you.I stole this line from a Kiwi girl who screamed it at me over her shoulder as I pushed her head into my pillow. "Yeah bro, smash the fucking back outta me!". Her words. As for keeping count, I cannot help it. I remember most measurements I make on site, people's phone numbers, and the page I'm up to in any book I'm reading, even months later.RA

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  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    There are two problems with counting. 1) volume and quality are very different things. 2) people tend to lie, men raise their number, women lower it...... So knowing means bugger all DG- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I don't include the men I have buggered in my small count of men who have been allowed to enter my pearly gates. :P

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  • Beachlover1999

    Beachlover1999

    11 years ago

    Random, have met many a guy like you and see much of myself in you, although I don't count, I understand your need to 'break a filly' or in my case some hot dude in a bar......real them in and take control (perceived!!!) I can see how women are attracted to you and in return that becomes not the marrying 'type' a pattern has formed in your behaviour. Not sure how you get your girl, you probably both have 'issues' that need resolving before either of you can commit. Maybe you need to demonstrate your actions and not just your words of promise and fidelity. Love your writing, perhaps you should write instead of whoring around?!!! ;))

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'FourHands' Downand breatheLies on top of lies are never good. You need to earn her trust again. it will be hard. You also need to give her room to breathe. You may well be in this heady lusty fuked up place blah blah blah. I know it. But you need to back off and give her time. Stop bombarding and chill a little.and tell us about this vaccine Dr. Ian Frazer, Coridon, University of QLD, Allied Healthcare. Look it up. I have been buying shares in Allied Healthcare. Not only have they gained 120% in the last three weeks, but I am secretly hoping major shareholders get first dibs on the commercial production. Will hit the shelves in three years. This man has fixed Human Pappiloma Virus, Herpes Simplex Virus, and he calmly claims the biotechnology they have created is applicable to all virus strains.Hot cup of AIDS vaccine anyone?This means we will one day in the not too distant future have giant unprotected cum parties. I can finally watch an unknown woman eat my cum from another stranger's vagina. Jections! Jermlock! No Returns!!!RA

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Having had a little read. Is it a vaccine to prevent it? Rather than a cure for it?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    epilogueSwarmy, sad but true

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Not to be courageous in the name of love. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Meeka100' I think RA has a curious charm about him which pulls in the women, and although he likes to be crude when he writes, something I appreciate, I am sure he is the total charmer in real life.... Before the turmoil and whirlwind that is RA is shown. Which sometimes I have picked up in his writing. Come on, I would tap that! Random you are gorgeous and that profile picture tells me you are cool, sexy, confident, charming, totally fuckable. .... And a total bad boy. Maybe you are the guy women like to fuck but never take seriously? ^_^ I have a soft spot of butch blokes who are soft on the inside. Your story has a sadness to it. The best relationships are ones where the truth is always told. It's not easy, and sometimes it makes people feel like shit telling the other half that they've just spent the last 5 hours in the suckatorium level of a gay spa and that's why they're late to dinner, but if you guys really love each other then there's a future. PS. I love your writing.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'FourHands' Having had a little read. Is it a vaccine to prevent it? Rather than a cure for it? It does both in all animals tested. They've just finished the first round of human testing as a vaccine which has done as theorised and with no side effects on the test group, and will publish their human findings early next year, then test it on infected humans. I signed up for that trial but I'd have to move to Queensland for the duration.RA

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    What age is this maiden you speak of? It may be her age that defines her behaviour or security which you may not yet have to share. Any number of things (100 perhaps) could be in the way? You're head over heels for sure. If she's a "Game Over" girl - showing all that passion may be hazardous. Be true, Be present, Be patient, Be cool...

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I read your profile bloke, u sure u actually fucked them...it seems to me u spent more time pissed and talking shit and maybe only think it happened.   knots

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    as a tome of sorts

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    *SIGHS*It will never work.Lier lier pants on fireYou told one too many pokey pies.I'd like to hear from the woman in this situation??Her side of the story??FOXY Oh and buy new pillows!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    she thinks you are gay

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You so remind me of a male friend of mine.FOXY

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You had genital herpes and had sex with people without declaration? Seriously that's a very bad thing to do. "take meds and condoms" is not good enough, it can put someone else at risk and they should make their own decision about that risk, but you not telling is lying. Talk of potential vaccine is irrelevant as it doesn't exist yet. Girl doesn't trust you. She has good reason.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    when you DON'T have symptoms. Sex should be completely avoided when you do have symptoms. You might think it's not a big deal. But point remains is that it's not up to you to make someone else's decision for them.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Only 100 ? GG♒️- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I'm sure that you are a lovely guy. But you do have some growing up to do. Perhaps, just perhaps it would be god to go and seek some Psychological help too. Get some guidance about what and where this behaviour or treatment comes from and look at making a change. Thats what you want right?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Beachlover1999' Love your writing, perhaps you should write instead of whoring around?!!! ;))   Is she right to believe you will lie again, can never change? Perhaps you should stop at 100. Might make you feel better about yourself.   And I'm surprised how many people count!!! What is that?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Interestingly, intelligence and maturity don't always have to be mutually exclusive RA. Want arelationship? Get over yourself, your intelligence, and GROW UP!- Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    She loves you and sorry but you betrayed that trust, not once, twice but three times that you have admitted to us. If you want the type of life your telling us, then start living it now. Don't wait for her, take the control into your own hands (literally speaking). One thing you haven't mentioned is does she want only you? Or is she going to be happy sharing you in a swinging relationship? DONT keep breaking her trust and then going back to apologise for it, step up and prove you can be the man she wants. I know I am going to get a backlash from my next comment, however, if I was her friend I would point out that this is emotional abuse and if it's starts before a relationship, don't expect it to change later!! (That is MY opinion everyone, not speaking for all)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Number 2

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    just more Fear and Loathing in St.KildaJim

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    and will continue to do so until I run out of fingers. CheersJAB

    reply

  • inspirit

    inspirit

    11 years ago

    LOL

    reply

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