M53 F57
Kids and play should never mix
May 31 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Can she stay at a friends? - Posted from rhpmobile
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Paradisepair
12 years ago
Or maybe Australia wide to leave a child under 12 alone. I think. Sleepovers sound like the best option.
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sweetgem
12 years ago
If any of their grandparents are nearby, ask them for help as they will be happy to babysit their grandchild for some hours, and they are blood related, safer and would be responsible for your child's safety, etc.- Posted from rhpmobile
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custardapples
12 years ago
Ok.. "It's scientific experiments for the lot of you"... to paraphrase Monty Python! If that option doesn't sit well I would definately organise some sleep overs. To start with help out some other parents with their kids and they should do the same for you. This has always worked for us. It can be frustrating at times but hey sometimes you just have to be patient. Family first and play after that. Mixing the two sounds really wrong. Maybe we should start a RHP sleepover club and we can all take turns -- Hmm that sounds wrong too!!! Nup..back to scientific experiments!! Good luck.
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RHP User
12 years ago
ship her off to a friends/relatives house so you have privacy...or play at another address....ie your playmates house, or a hotel/motel............but don't do seedy, do 4 n 5 star.....if you cant do these things then perhaps now is not the time to be pursuing play...a childs needs/welfare has to come before any dalliances....you might have to wait til shes older.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks for your input everyone. Patients will have to be my friend for a while. New to the area so she is still working out friendships with the girls at school. I don't know any of the other parents yet and I have no family near for babysitting. My partner has a brother nearby but my daughter has only met him and his wife once so that just seems weird for my girl. As for the go get the milk thing I am hoping I didnt give the impression that I leave my girl unsupervised while I go shopping. The corner store here is only ten houses away so lazy me drives and am only gone to get milk or bread if we need it for five minutes or so and always with the deadlocks engaged on the house and my mobile phone in hand if she needs to call me. I've only been doing that recently as she is pretty mature and well behaved whilst I am gone. My partner has two girls of his own, one 8 and the other 14 and they live with thier mother nearby (ten minutes drive). Very fortunate that they love me and my daughter, calling her thier sister and me thier second mum. Unfortunately even though my daughter is a delight to look after thier mum has her own reasons for not wanting to help out. Kind of pisses me off in a way as we have the girls nearly every weekend and there seems to be no return in favours from that end. Don't get me wrong. I love looking after them and we get along well. Just venting I guess. She's quite happy to have me mother her children each weekend while she goes out. I would never say no as that would be unfair on my partner as he loves seeing them and I would have no right to say no to them coming here.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yep it's very hard organizing adult play time around kids... I'm in the same boat... Single mum, no family to help with babysitting (have an aunt here but my kids hate her with a passion!). When I want to have someone over I lock my bedroom door and play loud music and I try to cram as much sex in on the weekends when my ex has the kids which is only once a month :/
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sweetgem
12 years ago
My respect for you for being a good hearted person and a loving stepmother 👍👍👍 I am wondering, is there any reason why you didn't take your daughter in your car with you when you pop out to get milk and bread from the corner shop please? Perhaps you and your girl can take a walk there and back as an exercise as well as further bonding time??? :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
11 is a bit young yes. I leave my 12 year old during the day while I buzz off and do stuff but this is a small country town. I do not leave him alone while I go out at night. I do agree that play and kids do not mix. Dies she go away for holidays? You may plan times around then. My town has Facebook group BuySellSwap and often uni students or someone looking for work advertises child minding at reasonable rates. Your town may have the same.- Posted from rhpmobile
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PartyOrg
12 years ago
I once offered a couple from rhp some babysitting help as they were caught up and really wanted to meet another couple from the site. When they got home around midnight and the kids were fast asleep we continued round 2. Which was probably the best way to finish off the evening.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Handmaidens right. Search your for your town on Facebook and guaranteed there will be a page for locals selling/buying/advertising. Just ask for a local babysitter :-) Good luck!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'sweetgem'My respect for you for being a good hearted person and a loving stepmother 👍👍👍 I am wondering, is there any reason why you didn't take your daughter in your car with you when you pop out to get milk and bread from the corner shop please? Perhaps you and your girl can take a walk there and back as an exercise as well as further bonding time??? :-)- Posted from rhpmobile We walk together in the evenings for exercise but at times as many parents probably also encounter my girl can be busy watching a favourite show, in the middle of homework or just doesnt want to go to the store with me and that milk or bread is still needed. It's rare as my partner is usually home and stays with her. No need for further bonding as we are extremely close. I give her what we call "well days off school" every so often for mum and daughter days to do whatever she would like with me :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Amarella'Yep it's very hard organizing adult play time around kids... I'm in the same boat... Single mum, no family to help with babysitting (have an aunt here but my kids hate her with a passion!). When I want to have someone over I lock my bedroom door and play loud music and I try to cram as much sex in on the weekends when my ex has the kids which is only once a month :/ LMAO. I am too noisy to even lock the door hun even with loud music sometimes and I have no control over it. When I am enjoying I let go and sometimes so does the noise coming from my mouth. It's OK with my live in partner as we have worked out a way to keep my noise level at bay, but when playing with our friends I like to let go so the noise is too much for my small home. Unfortunately my ex is not someone that I can send her to with his bad drinking habits so as I said above Patients will have to be my friend till she can stay with friends from school.
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RHP User
12 years ago
why did my reply repeat itself three times. lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've never even entertained the idea of playing at home with others when the kids are there. It's there sanctuary, their "safe place". Luckily for us we've always had every other weekend free, as they go to their Dad's :D But now that they are older (teenagers) we are able to play anytime, albeit away from home when they are home, which certainly increases our chances of getting together with others. But, with youngens, why not try to arrange play dates/sleep overs that coincide? Ms Devilish - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I dual parent so I have my kids week about, too easy !I would never consider having someone over when they are here, my family life and my private life are totally separate and that's the way I like it.I realise I am fortunate in this situation, I have an amicable relationship with the ex so it works.Ha, they used to live just down the road which caused a few near embarrassing moments but since they movied house out of hours or spur of the moment visits have been avoided."Dad, why is there a pair of ladies knickers on your bedpost ?" True, it happened ! I Tidy more thoroughly now ! Especially after finding a toy in the bathroom 2 secs before the front door opened ! All good !My kids are 8 and 11, They walk themselves to school and I let them come home and let themselves in after school. At the exes the older one has just started taking the bus home from school a couple days a week with a neighbours child.I will leave them at home by themselves while I shop for an hour no problems, part of that though is because there are school families close by if need be. And we have a dog who goes nuts at strangers !Babysitting, rarely needed as I try and keep playtimes to my week but I use the mother in law or a friends teenage daughter.Hope this helps in some way. x
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RHP User
12 years ago
well, I don't even have lovers over to my house. It's my kid's home and I'm just not comfortable with that. So yes, keep your two lives separate. I think though that it is ok to leave an 11yo home alone while you duck out for groceries, even for an hour or two. they need to start experiencing a little independence at this age. You need to show that you trust them to be ok by themselves. At 11 they are almost at high school and really they should be well and truly able to get themselves to and from school by themselves by then. Local teenagers are a good source of babysitters, try the school's aftercare tribe or just keep your eyes and ears open at the schoolgate. You could advertise for a teenage babysitter on a local shop window or in the school bulletin. Also sleepovers with friends are great. I wouldn't expect your partner's ex to look after your child, that's ridiculous. He looks after his kids and maybe you help him out with that but it has nothing to do with her. JMO
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RHP User
12 years ago
Interesting that its ok for a married couple to have sex with their kids at home but single mums aren't allowed? Talk about a double standard!! I can't afford babysitters very often let alone a hotel room for 'playtime'... Since leaving my ex every single parent at my kids school that I was friends with has shunned us and my daughter is no longer invited to kids bday parties or play dates even tho my ex was a drug addict we are the ones being punished. So with no family, no friends, no money I don't think it's unreasonable that I be allowed to sneak someone in the house for sex occasionally. I only ever have people over that I've met a few times. I would never have a random guy over as that just wouldn't be safe. I'm in the situation now where I've been seeing a few people quite regularly and haven't had to hook up for one night stands and feel quite comfortable having these men in my home. And it has to work both ways... These guys understand the rules that the kids come first and that they can't stay the night etc i feel like I have a good balance at the moment tho I would like sex more often lol we can't always have what we want :P and I'm blessed with kids who are solid sleepers and old enough to not wake up in the middle of the night anymore :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
That sounds like your having plenty of fun lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Family comes before any thing else,If we cannot get a family member to babysit we do not go out to play easy as that.As far as a babysitter goes we would never leave our children with a stranger.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You are blessed to have family - I'm jealous lol- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
if you cant organise a sitter or have family near by can you arrange something while she is at school. We have had some daytime play dates while the kids are at school. they work well Mrs B
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