M63 F57
Knowing everyone's secrets
August 16 2016
Comments
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DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
None of our vanilla friends or family, know what we get up to. As we have children, we have chosen to keep our lifestyle secret and to never mix swinger friends with vanilla friends / family . Ie our real, personal & family lives are kept well separated from our swinger life. Real names (surnames) & addresses (residential) are seldom shared . None of our vanilla friends have ever shared their dirty little secrets with us, which is good we feel. The less we know the better . Hear no evil , speak no evil , see no evil !!!😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Good for you for being open about it. I don't have vanilla friends at the moment, through choice. Well one who I rarely see, but I've found people can be shocked, a little horrified at certain things. The interesting thing though, is that you'd be surprised what people have actually experienced in their life. With the internet the way it is now, more and more people are exposed to forums like this, dating sites, and getting their kicks through these avenues, so the people you might think are vanilla, aren't always. That has happened to me on a few occasions where I out the way I like to spend my spare time lol only to find they are more than familiar with it, sometimes still active, sometimes not. But I'm very open so I simply couldn't spend time with muggles. Not for me, would bore me to tears at this point in my life. I'm obviously not part of a couple, but it wouldn't make a difference 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
...it may have more to do with your personality than your lifestyle? There are people who by nature are ''attractors'' or ''intimates''...other people tend to trust them with secrets almost immediately and let's face it, in a world that can often seem quite cold, we all do need someone to talk to, right? Now then once you're comfortable with a more detailed conversation about your own private life, go for it. I've made some incredible friends over the years here, there and everywhere. Best.......MC
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Sawadee
8 years ago
I think the very fact you never tryed to hide your lifestyle , makes it easy for your vanilla friends to open up because they probally feel you wont judge them. Thumbs up 👍
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MsSuperFoxy
8 years ago
As my nana and mum say, "The best kept secret, is the one that's never shared". If my friends/family came to me to share/discuss something, they've done it cause they trust, honor and respect me (goes vice versa). I don't think it has anything to do with being vanilla or not. Personally, I think your vanilla friends trust and respect you both, if they come to you with their dirty little secrets. ;) Ms Foxy
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RHP User
8 years ago
But I seem to get a lot of the "relationship" troubles.... I'm like "wtf?? I'm a damn fine example of who NOT to listen to seeing that I'm single and was separated by less than 5 years" lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
We Have No Secrets....
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have always attracted other's secrets & problems sexual & other, I've never been judgmental and accept everyone as I find them and I think that is a personality thing that draws people in - like MC has mentioned. So I do get told some juicy stuff at times. I have one girlfriend I can tell anything to if I need or want to, no judgement ever. I don't hide the fact I'm on RHP but don't offer it up to all & sundry. - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
8 years ago
Ditto Mado Mado Tara xx
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madotara69
8 years ago
Ditto
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DynamicCouple36
8 years ago
The problem with secrets is that should the relationship, with the person you told the secret to , go pear shaped in the future, then your secret may no longer be safe. For example, years ago a young couple came to play at our house. Photos of the play were taken, at their request and emailed to her. She in turn emailed them to her boyfriend. All was fine, the photos and their naughty lifestyle were safe (we all thought ) until a year later she broke up with him . And what did he do ? He showed the photos to her family and even emailed them to her boss..... The best kept secrets are those that are never shared .... - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsSuperFoxy
8 years ago
I just say "I'm not the person you should be discussing this with". Cuts the conversation short. In other words, "I'm not getting involved in your drama". If it has nothing to do with me, I don't want to be involved. Vanilla or not, somethings just aren't worth the time and effort. I think getting involved leads to all sorts of messy relationships, especially in the swinging world. I think "sometimes" it can be a little too incestuous. Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
8 years ago
DC, that's one of my fears. It just takes something like that, to turns one world upside down. One never knows how one would react during a tramitic, emotional event. Ms Foxy.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Until you tell someone.Then it is no longer a secret. I don't wish to be a holder of another's secrets unless I am incredibly close to that person ..Infidelity,deception, lies etc.who wants to know about all that.and what a selfish act for someone to put you in the position of knowing.It utterly compromises you. Q
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RHP User
8 years ago
It's human nature they wanna do everything but don't like to share,i call them selfish lol but i respect their privacy, for me sharing is caring. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
I'm also one of those people who seem to attract people who want to have a chat. I've even had strangers who've struck up a conversation tell me things I would normally think too personal. I find that intriguing but am chuffed they see me as a confident. I'm not the kiss and tell kinda guy , so maybe that comes across somehow.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm more than happy to be the sounding board. Share the good and bad of my life and hear others without judgement. I'm open with my close friends, they're open in return and I feel very lucky to be that person for them. I also have a shocking memory so their thoughts and experiences are very safe with me! I don't and won't do affairs. Thankfully my friends understand me and no one has confided that and will not in the future. -longest. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
...that we say or feel are locked in acronymic recall. I've people I rely on to listen and others whom I have all the time in world to listen to and try to understand. The result is often superfluous to the original conversation albeit often the benefit is simply in the listening to another human being. We get to know each other at a ground level...I like that. I would never ignore someone who wanted to talk through feelings and emotions...those are like wandering through a maze in an English garden. Best..... MC
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madotara69
8 years ago
It's a small enclosed balcony off our bedroom, got to go through our bedroom to get to the dark side of the moon, we get a lot of visitors and if the conversations revolved around what they mostly want to discuss, world problems and so it is we have a theme "sex" it brings the best feelings, 'waste not, want not', sometimes we just tell the visitors, "if we are having sex when you pass through our bed to enter the dark side of the moon, don't be offended or join in, that way nobody is and some of them do,
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'jayme2' I'm also one of those people who seem to attract people who want to have a chat. I've even had strangers who've struck up a conversation tell me things I would normally think too personal. I find that intriguing but am chuffed they see me as a confident. I'm not the kiss and tell kinda guy , so maybe that comes across somehow. .......over the years I've had people tell me their life stories in pubs, supermarkets, at railway stations.....everywhere.Currently I have a male 30-something acquaintance (NOT a FB) who treats me like an older sister by running everything by me, which is kinda sweet in a way as it shows he really trusts me so I'm happy to provide advice if I can but he's constantly telling me way more stuff than I really need to know about his life and love/sex life.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Of secrets with pretty much everyone I know. I seem to attract them like moths to a flame. And I feel privileged that people want to share me. I'm usually the one turned to for advice and comfort. But it does have a downside. Sometimes I feel so weighed down and it starts to affect my mood. I worry about the things I've been told if they are tragic or harmful. And recently I was put in a horrible position. Keep the secret and lose my relationship with my father and step mother when they found out I knew, or lose my relationship with my step sister and nephews. I resented the fact that no thought was given into how divulging the information to me might have affected my relationship and that of my children. I was lucky that in the end I was told I could pass it on but I was still caught in the middle of a very emotional and volatile situation. When spilling secrets we should always take into account how it will affect our secret keeper 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think everyone has a compartment that is locked up but they really want to open with someone. It is tough finding someone to be really open with. I was once and at the end it was horrific with this person i thought was solid spilling the beans publicly and online to every soul I knew. There is one person now who knows most about me and i am not sure even she realises how much I value that confidence. We are not FB - anymore - but she is still tight and cool. - Posted from rhpmobile
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