M49

Labels - defining or limiting?

February 19 2018

This is a topic that I have been struggling with, so grateful for any views and insight. Not expecting this to be as popular as the topics on anal and oral sex though - where everyone likes jumping in. We love labels. If we give something a label it allows us to categorise it and group it together with other items that fit within that label. It provides information on which we can make judgments. And this site, and other sites, pushes us into labelling ourselves. If we want to find someone compatible, who is just not a receptacle for our needs, we need to know whether their labels work with our labels. Sexuality, preferences, kinks, who we are looking for. And as mentioned above do they like oral and anal sex. And yet when we label ourselves do we then exclude other opportunities? Both in people examining our profile and also what we subconsciously believe we are open to. A label narrows us down, it limits us, and what you think you mean with the label is not necessarily accurately conveyed. On a side bar, I only recently found out MMF is different from MFM (open to both, but did not know in referring to one it meant different things to different people). Yet if a person says they are open to anything, we tend to call bs and say you are either indecisive or trying it on. I have found the more I meet people, the more fluid I am becoming in what I enjoy and is pleasurable. I know my obvious kinks, but I also know hiw much pleasure there is in the simple moments. So, my question, do you believe the labels you have chosen properly describe you or do they only capture some obvious core kinks, and you are truly open to more. How much more do you think you need to add to your labels to actually come closer to the truth of who you are, if you even know that truth.

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RHP User

7 years ago

There's a label. In the main, words quantify and delineate. LOL...I'm a Viking! ⚡️ - Posted from rhpmobile

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EarthQueen

7 years ago

I didn't chose many labels for that very reason. Was happy to go with the flow and see what came my way. Being that way has let me try some things I thought that I wouldn't like.... but have since found out I was wrong. Hope to be proven wronger in the future as well.

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The_Antichrist

7 years ago

That our profiles are written in such a short period of time as an example... Understand that it’s a snapshot of your mindset etc AT the time of its birth.... Like a time capsule.... So... You cannot ever escape the label, but you can always dissect it into a snapshot.....as labels can be permanent whereas snapshots are an album full of memories on the journey of your evolution... - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Every Pigeon hole should have one.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Labels are only a guide. Most experience online serial daters realise that people use labels differently so it’s alwaya best to ask. But I would rather have a high level view of someone so I can make an informed decision about engaging with them so that I don’t waste my time or their time. As for me. Really depends on the day and people involved. I might explore kinks only with certain people for instance. Labels are a guide only.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Personally, I've found labels too limiting in the past. So now, I've taken the attitude of stating hard boundaries, but otherwise leaving things pretty open and flexible.

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RHP User

7 years ago

Thanks OP I agree with Anti. I personally don't like labels and we all don't fit into 1 "box". Labels help us sort information and keep it organised in our minds. Before puberty we take in all the information and are bombarded 24/7 while our brains are making connections to get us through life. During puberty our brains start getting rid of the connections or irrelevant information it doesn't need, hence why we appear non communicative etc. 800% of hormones running through our brains. Then miraculously into adulthood the information is neatly stored and we only use the information and connections we need. As adults we need labels, lists and organisation to be a fully functional and productive adults. Maybe that's why we have to label things etc because that is the way our brains are wired. When writing my profile and ticking boxes it is the readers perception of what they are actually reading and recently found that my words have been taken the wrong way (readers perception). Anything we write on a profile or anywhere else is open to interpretation. Yes I think we do exclude other opportunities if we have limited ourselves. Same as conversation in RL it is the listeners perception of what they are hearing not the actual words spoken. Ms Midnight

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