RHP

RHP User

F111

Learning the art of being a Dom...

November 19 2013

Hi, I'm in Perth, new to this lifestyle, and my partner, previous lovers and yes...even family (they joke...but....) think that I would be the perfect dom. I also think I may have the talent and wish to find out more. Any thoughts of where I can find someone willing to teach?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    First day on the job and already wanting to be the Master...hey hey!!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    do some research online...and follow your natural instincts...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    you will need to google Domme...Dom is male

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Check out Fetlife- Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I am aort if a switch... Mainly just a pure kinksters who has experienced a lot... So feel free to use me as your test subject, while at the same time I can stead you in the right direction to help you find your inner domme self.. So many different ways to dominate.. What's your kink!! - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'Freya77' you will need to google Domme...Dom is male I was the same in not knowing if it was the male or female of the couple who was wanting to be dominant ?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Joining Fetlife, go to some munches, meet people there. There are usually experienced people happy to mentor others.If it the woman, check out the Mistress Handbook. Its an interesting read. A good book for anyone exploring the lifestyle is Screw the Roses, Send me the thorns

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    No spelling errors I see....otherwise there's a potential to be pacified :) - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You could always join FetLife and trawl the posts there. Plenty of lessons and pointers. Like RHP it's free to join, but is not a dating/sex site. It's a world wide community of kinksters

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The perfect Dom !? Good luck with that ! lol I have been a practicing Dom for nearly 10 years and I learn more each day. But what KIND of Dom will you be ? I hope that you will choose the path of being a Gentleman Dom. Fetlife is the place to go to begin and you would be well served to join the groups that resonate with you and then read, read, read. There is much to learn...don't be afraid to ask, it is a genuine and helpful community in the main. Some things you may find helpful when you begin: Play safe and sane. Be respectful of the gift of submission. Always ensure your submissive has a safeword/action. 'Traffic lights' is common, simple and effective to begin with. Always ask for a BDSM Checklist prior to play. In fact fill one out yourself...its a great way to find out what you know and what you don't know. Plan your plays so that you are not searching for an item or items which can interrupt the flow of your play. It no good if you leave your rope in the boot of the car or the batteries are flat or you cant find the keys to the handcuffs...a well planned play makes for a successful result for everyone. Pay attention to health and safety of your sub (from prior injuries or asthma for example). BDSM play can be intense and edgy and you are responsible for the care of your submissive. Remember sub drop and the importance of aftercare. There is as I said, so much more... A personal one of Mine is to be creative each time and ensure the play is intense, but sexy and fun. Welcome to the world of a sexually Dominant male. I wish you well. Darkman.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Darkman...sorry I wasn't specific....I'm female, so I guess "domme" is the correct term. Thanks for the insight. At this point I'm interested in learning the basics before jumping in. Thanks again.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    That's ok, the principle is the same.   Any terminology that you aren't familiar with you will probably find on fetlife   Good luck.   D.

  • kinky_master

    kinky_master

    11 years ago

    I am surprised that nobody has pointed out the most important aspect - which is to learn it from the other side. You do need to know what it feels like to be the submissive - know what it feels like to be bound - spanked and being under someone else's control. That's the way I had to learn many years ago,when I discovered BDSM and that's how Professional Mistresses learn their trade even today. And even though I hated the concept of not being in control it gave me extremely valuable insights into how a sub feels and what a Mistress / Master should be like. Something you can not get by just reading about it.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I have had experience with being the sub, and enjoyed it thoroughly...my dom was gentle and very aware of making me feel safe even as he pushed my limits and senses. Even though he was/is the dom, as the sub you do hold power with a good dom. My dom and I are very sexual, my interest in being a domme is less sexual....aimed more atthe sort that want humiliation. Is this sort wanted?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    id have to disagree, as a Mistress I have no desire, or need to try being a sub to know how they feel, and what a gift it is.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    "Always ensure your submissive has a safeword/action. 'Traffic lights' is common, simple and effective to begin with." Now I'm just wondering how many will read this and go: "Trafficlights! Traffic lights!" :-P

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    Been in this lifestyle on and off depending on partners. Either you are a dom or not and learning to be one is like roll play.

  • twowithnolimits

    twowithnolimits

    11 years ago

    well your gender is obvious from your profile (the woman 40 years bit gave it away)... you need to be a sub to be a dom, utter crap, you might elect to, but that's all... a great batsmen doesnt have to be a bowler, a neuro surgeon doesn't need a tumour, a homosexual doesn't have to try being straight.. learning to be a domme, the concept that you have to learn what you are never sits well with me.... (geez i am agreeing with chev for a change ;-) ), PM if you wish 4 i have many many years to share

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    @4saparty that type is definitely wanted, it's not all about sex for everyone. I have been a Dominant in the lifestyle for many years, for me it is very much about power exchange and the emotional/mental aspects and I do not allow my submissives sexual contact with me.(obviously I am not seeking subs on this site with this profile!). There are most certainly many men into it for the humiliation, as well as those into it for punishment, corporal play etc. I am with @ding26 in that I do not believe you have to try being a sub in order to be a good dominant at all. As to learning, I think there is a difference between whether one needs to learn to be a dominant, and needing to learn how to safely execute particular skills during play. For the latter I would most certainly recommend seeking out some help and advice, and everyone is giving good pointers in suggesting Fetlife as a wonderful resource to start connecting with people who can both teach and advise. As to the whole Dom/Domme thing, while it is common now to use Domme for female dominants, from my understanding it's a made up term in that context, some ladies do use Dom as it's simply an abbreviation of dominant without having to define gender.