F111
Look at moy, look at moy!
December 16 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Those sorts of people are hard work sometimes. Although in men... They either don't get people don't believe them or they don't care.... They continue on with their story even when told they are not being believed. Used to be close friends with a guy like that... Used to piss me off as he used to include me into his fantasy stories. We would be at parties and he would blatantly lie about something that happened the night before about me.... While I was sitting there!!! WTF?
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RHP User
11 years ago
He would get pissed off if I didn't back him up. Talk about delusional.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have only seen young people do that which the article describes... thankfully... though I expect we may see a little more of it in the coming years with the self entitled "Generation Me" sneaking up on us. With regards to people who are very much "Look at moy"... my mother... nuff said. (wanders off to deal with his mommy issues... hehe) SG
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RHP User
11 years ago
But I never attention seek, flirt outrageously or exaggerate a story. NEVER, NEVER,NEVER. 😎
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RHP User
11 years ago
dear,we used to call them drama Queens...some people are addicted to the rush of adrenaline that the excitement of creating drama causes...they feel the need to engage others and to re-visit their little dramatic and somewhat exaggerated scenarios over and over again with anyone and everyone who will listen....just like Groundhog day.....Whether or not it is a disorder or a learnt behaviour to gain attention,I have no idea,but I think it is probably a product of very low self esteem coupled with an inflated ego...and yes, I have unfortunately met a few people like this,they are emotionally draining and tend to turn friends into counsellors if you let them....interesting topic Ms.Mes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Agree! But would you call it a mental disorder or a behavioural problem?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Didn't read your post properly.
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RHP User
11 years ago
a group of guys standing around talking themselves up? In a cultural context, the pisstaking can be hilarious! 😃
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RHP User
11 years ago
Behavioural problem which may stem from other mental disorders. And I totally agree that it's people with self esteem issues trying to puff themselves up. Or maybe the youngest child syndrome, they never feel as if they get their share of the attention.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Seriously, I think its dangerous trying to pathologize and label people. We all know people who behave badly for one reason or another. In my training in working with people with mental illness and disability, we didn't need to know the labels to know we needed good boundaries and compassion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I said laymen!
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madotara69
11 years ago
Sounds like Rock n Roll to me Accept for the lies, most songs are an exaggerated form of some feelings to a truth. So there must be something in the music. There seems to be a lot of diseases going around, almost one would be feeling left out if they didn't have one. Mine is being a Fruit Loop, but I am a happy one. Mado
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Best segue EVER! hahahaha DG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Sounds a lot to me that we're referring to those men and women that publicise their sexual proclivities as a means to sprook their sexual prowess like it's a strength you'd list on a CV.... But like the "duck face" poses, you just look cheap and nasty :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lol, what do I care? From what I hear, too many people take this place too seriously... Who they are, I couldn't say...? (<<< exaggerated wink)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Lol, what do I care? From what I hear, too many people take this place too seriously... I'd say you're one of us.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would say behavioural. My mother suffers from this (no mummy issues), however I look at her childhood and I can see where a lot of her behaviours stem from. Blamed for her brothers death and ignored completely by her father, finally reuniting with dad only to have mother pass away so dad reverts back to ignoring her. She found the only way to get the attention was to play up for it, therefore adjusting her personality to receive the best response, of course following through to being unsure of who she was... A learnt behaviour of, if you act innocent and cute, you can get away with anything, has held her in good stead and is still using this technique at 78yrs. Bit long, but wanting to show my point. As a child it was exasperating to have a mother who needed more attention than her 5 children, however as I grew older and recognised where it stemmed from I was more lenient towards it, doesn't mean I like it though.
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precious142
11 years ago
I still call them a dram queen....Have a friend who is exactly that.When attention is not on her (esp in a group) she comes out with all sorts of crap.Saturday night was a classic- 10 of us there for dinner and she was making a sceneabout my dog (she has 3) so I just got up, said Cya and left....
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Unrushed1' a group of guys standing around talking themselves up? In a cultural context, the pisstaking can be hilarious! 😃
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Judging by your Christmas-coloured post Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Lol, what do I care? From what I hear, too many people take this place too seriously... I'd say you're one of us. How serious can one be when they're posting in Christmas colours?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The description in your OP Mes, imo could (to the layman) fit ADD sufferers... . How well do I know people on RHP to be able to say they are exaggerating? There are prime examples of how little we know people in the forums, one way or the other. And I think really... I could safely say that the forums are rife with attention seekers!!! . Other than that, I'm no psych and I'm wary about labelling, preferring to focus on the behaviours that are not melding in a condusive wa with mine!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'WildSong' Seriously, I think its dangerous trying to pathologize and label people. We all know people who behave badly for one reason or another. In my training in working with people with mental illness and disability, we didn't need to know the labels to know we needed good boundaries and compassion. I agree, which is why I'm keen to hear from people more familiar with mental health illnesses. Labelling people with a disorder, when it's their behaviour and possibly upbringing that is to blame, could be detrimental.Kinda like saying misbehaved kids don't need consequences for their behaviour but Ritalin for their ADHD (and taking no responsibility, or alternatively the child being burdened by the stigma of having a mental illness).
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RHP User
11 years ago
With several of our posts deleted this thread is not making as much sense as it was.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' With several of our posts deleted this thread is not making as much sense as it was. Your OP seems very much at a variance with your other posts (including the mssing one/s) throughout the thread. . Quoting 'Mesmerised' Quoting 'WildSong' Seriously, I think its dangerous trying to pathologize and label people. We all know people who behave badly for one reason or another. In my training in working with people with mental illness and disability, we didn't need to know the labels to know we needed good boundaries and compassion. I agree, which is why I'm keen to hear from people more familiar with mental health illnesses. Labelling people with a disorder, when it's their behaviour and possibly upbringing that is to blame, could be detrimental.Kinda like saying misbehaved kids don't need consequences for their behaviour but Ritalin for their ADHD (and taking no responsibility, or alternatively the child being burdened by the stigma of having a mental illness). I love how we think so much alike Wild, but you are so much better at getting your point acknowledged!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ahhhhh the quagmire of Mental Health issues - and they are all represented right here on RHP. I've met a couple and chatted with a few more. I've met them in other walks of life too.In fact I've wondered out loud if they perhaps aren't over represented on forums and sites like this in general. (perhaps that's a topic for the PHD!) There are quite a few "behavioural disorders" that come under the banner of mental health issues, unfortunately the only treatment is for the "sufferer" to change their behaviour, usually through a treatment like Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, which obviously requires the person to recognise that they have a problem and have a willingness to do something about it! (please note schizophrenia, some forms of depression and bipolar are not personality disorders and drug therapy is advocated)These people will often have all their personal relationships in disarray and still not see that THEY are the common denominator!As to dealing with them. Be firm, set boundaries and have a consequence in place when they transgress those boundaries. Don't give them the audience they seek whether it be listening to the drama, buying into their stories, sympathy or sucking you into whatever drama they have going on in their life at the time. In addition with the current trend to medicalise all health issues comes a lack of responsibility on the "sufferers" part to do anything about their behaviour. Give me a pill, fix me please Doctor. Just don't expect me to do anything differently! Dr Gordon Livingstone, is An American psychiatrist whose work I enjoy reading and who advocates that individuals suffering from these "disorders" need to own their behaviour and be responsible for their behaviour and changing it. Many Australian psychologists seem to take a softer approach.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is when it helps parents of children with disabilities get the support they need to manage their children's lives. Labelling can get services from specific organisations, such as children with cerebral palsy can get access to physiotherapy and speech therapy. Parents can respite from 24 hours caring for their child and when children disabilities, respite from constant care is essential. Unless labelling is done to get access to services, I will never see a need for it. BTW ADD and ADHD are neurological disorders, not mental illnesses. There are so many different types of mental illness which is why I say lets leave it to those who have studied for years and years to know them and know how to treat them. Meanwhile my dear MrsPeachy my ability to get acknowledged could have something to do with 25 years working in human services and a lot of that time with people with disabilities, including people with a mental illness. Also all of that time working for social justice and human rights which I why I become passionate about labelling. Labelling leads to stigma and for those of us in human rights and disability advocacy, we are doing all we can to de-stigmatise mental illness. And aside from that you peach, my Irish heritage . . . . I have the gift of the gab
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RHP User
11 years ago
It should read when children have disabilities Note to self . . . . proof-read before posting and why does my font keep changing sizes when I know I typed it all the same size?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why not do some training in Mental health. I'm pretty sure there is a cert IV course in working with people with mental illness. There is also a mental health first aid course, though it is more about recognising when people with a mental illness are at risk of committing suicide and what you do in that circumstance. Talk to the Mental Health Council in your state about what is out there in regards to training. If it something you are passionate about you might go into mental health advocacy. I think trying to get information from professional bodies or consumer organisations has to be better than getting it from these forums
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Your OP seems very much at a variance with your other posts (including the mssing one/s) throughout the thread. . Could you explain how?One of my original questions was: "How do you deal with them, and is it really a disorder or a behavioural problem?"I don't see how my opinion has wavered. Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Dr Gordon Livingstone, is An American psychiatrist whose work I enjoy reading and who advocates that individuals suffering from these "disorders" need to own their behaviour and be responsible for their behaviour and changing it. Many Australian psychologists seem to take a softer approach. I agree with individuals displaying those behaviour mentioned in my OP being responsible for their behaviour. And I noice you wrote "disorders", not disorders, does not mean you think it's a grey area? I certainly do.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes, I absolutely think it's a grey area. My opinion is probably not a popular one (here in Australia) but I do not agree with the victimization and disempowerment that medicalising these personality types brings about. (Make no mistake they are personality traits, learned behaviours and as such can be unlearned) As a relatively new area of study there's lots that's not adequately understood or even been researched yet. I tend to be soft on sympathy and tough on people taking action to change their lives. Sympathy disempowers people. I'd rather be a catalyst for real change. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Join our club of sleuths. .I remember only a year ago you got accused of doing exactly that. Only this figment of your ego turned out to be real.
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Leading by example. I think if we all take a good long hard look at ourselves we all have traits, learned behaviours and varying personalities that at one time or another rear their heads in an unflattering, self destructive way. Some of the strongest people I know battle depression, bi-polar and unassailable feelings of helplessness and being 'lost' or 'without purpose'. I fall in and out of these patterns mostly during times of upheaval and change in my life. As now. I guess the best thing to cone from these types of discussions is an awareness and belief that, whilst tou can't change the external influences; you can change the internal reactions. At this point in time I'm not actively trying to control the situations I find myself in (for the most part) but trying to change and grow through my acceptance of self and then looking for a healthier way I can react to them. The harder you refuse to bend or compromise the harder the tasks become. If anything going forward into 2014 I know that whilst trsistence is futile, I can control my passivity and ultimately the outcomes. Histrionic Personality Disorder Mes, yes I exhibit all those traits; more intensely about 5-10yrs ago (and younger).... my life's had some major upheavals throughout but I think it's only been in the last 4yrs I've actually truly taken ownership of my responsibilities and the parts I played in those struggles. As for personality 'failures' I'd rather focus on my character strengths and resilience going forward and teaching/melding my lesser qualities to be more aware of and adept at not fixing but co-existing with them ~ Indy, having my own paradigm shifts.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You are a courageous and beautiful woman. Xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' You are a courageous and beautiful woman. Xx Seconded.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
The 'figment' has bigger tits than me. ;-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
From your OP, I was under the impression this post was not relating to the site/forums (though I might have read that into it, you can correct me if I'm wrong). But in your OP you said, "Now, I'm not suggesting that any forum posters suffer from this condition, but I've certainly encountered people (both on this site and in real life) who displayed all these behaviours.". But your following posts have referred to forumites, from the past at least.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you have a problem? You are rather like a dog with a bone on this topic. Completely unwilling to let the topic move on. The thread has been corrected, reference to past forumites deleted, why not just move on and get back onto the topic? - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
See you this weekend beautiful xx. We're having a day making xmas nibbles at the shed in the forest if you and the boys want to join, play, laugh, make a mess and get your rumballs, white christmas, coconut ice, bourbon & almong balls, kit kats and xmas treats done. BYO chocolate melts and swimmers.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Mesmerised' Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Your OP seems very much at a variance with your other posts (including the mssing one/s) throughout the thread. . Could you explain how?One of my original questions was: "How do you deal with them, and is it really a disorder or a behavioural problem?"I don't see how my opinion has wavered. Kale, I was answering Mes' question.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I find what you said about taking an unsypathetic approach extremely interesting.A few years ago whenI was suffering with situational depression I went to a psychologist who was not at all sympathetic but she helped me enormously. She gave me positive tools to work with and helped me re-frame my thinking.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You do at that me dear, you do at that! Hehe . You know, I really appreciate what I learn from you, and the way I feel encouraged to seek the the better within me, not that you imply that I need changing. It's choice I feel free to make thanks to you and, the way I see it, your understanding rather than sympathetic approach, if you don't mind my saying. I'm pretty sure I could have been labelled as a histrionic personality in the past and maybe even now lol. I don't make up lies though, and I'm a bit pedantic about exaggerating because I know I have a tendency to do so. The whole exaggerating thing is rather wide-spread though isn't it. All the nevers and always' we see and hear on a daily basis. . And yes, the formatting on the site has been atrocious lately. It all went good for me recently and then within a couple of days, the formatting was only working on one browser again... haha, and a different browser from before... sigh... . Anyhow, my lay person self who hasn't found a magic pill to fix me all up thinks encouraging the behaviour you want to see would be wise and thoughtful. And frankly, if someone sat next to me and involved me in a lie of theirs, I don't think I could carry it off. I'd be sure to give it away because I am so piss poor at deliberate lying. . Labelling: I understand about your desire not to label because of stigma and I'm all for that. I can tell you that the system is such that people who want to be able to claim disability payments have to be labelled also. I've gone through that process more than once, and it's soul destroying, digging through to point out all the ways the 'disabled' person is unable to care for or fend for themselves. How much time they need above the average to be cared for. So negative, but necessary if you want the monetary support. . To finish up, it makes me sick that we refer to past posters all too often, yes they may well be reading... and what is the effect that we are trying to have upon them? Or is the message just that we should be wary of them? Because that there is possibly the stigma Wild is talking about. Adieu...
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RHP User
11 years ago
and any undesirable behaviour can be changed but it wont happen until there is a shift in the mindset of the individual. People tend to define their lives and use their disorders and/or past traumatic experiences and use them as an excuse for their behaviour and I think that that is sad. Kaleidoscope, unpopular or not, I think that it is just a matter of time before being a catalyst for real change as opposed to the sympathetic/supportive approach really takes off. Semmelweis discovered that hand disinfection drastically reduced mortality - his ideas were rejected by the medical profession at the time but he is now known as the pioneer of antiseptic procedures.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' From your OP, I was under the impression this post was not relating to the site/forums (though I might have read that into it, you can correct me if I'm wrong). But in your OP you said, "Now, I'm not suggesting that any forum posters suffer from this condition, but I've certainly encountered people (both on this site and in real life) who displayed all these behaviours.". But your following posts have referred to forumites, from the past at least. I would never say nor assume that any posters, past or present, suffer from what is described in my OP is a Personality Disorder, even when they display the behaviours described.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The symptoms are much te same as those suffering from adjustment disorder ?? Maybe they have adjustment issues being excepted here in the soem times harsh forums :)) Just saying is all :) O and pick me I'm over here hey u yes u look this way ;),,
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ms peachy... Wasn't it you who referred to past posters... ? Hp... Scratches head... Maybe my other personality just thought that it was you, or maybe one of your personalities told my other personalities... Who probably got mado involved, and then it was all over for me... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'WildSong' Is when it helps parents of children with disabilities get the support they need to manage their children's lives. Labelling can get services from specific organisations, such as children with cerebral palsy can get access to physiotherapy and speech therapy. Parents can respite from 24 hours caring for their child and when children disabilities, respite from constant care is essential. Unless labelling is done to get access to services, I will never see a need for it. BTW ADD and ADHD are neurological disorders, not mental illnesses. There are so many different types of mental illness which is why I say lets leave it to those who have studied for years and years to know them and know how to treat them. Meanwhile my dear MrsPeachy my ability to get acknowledged could have something to do with 25 years working in human services and a lot of that time with people with disabilities, including people with a mental illness. Also all of that time working for social justice and human rights which I why I become passionate about labelling. Labelling leads to stigma and for those of us in human rights and disability advocacy, we are doing all we can to de-stigmatise mental illness. And aside from that you peach, my Irish heritage . . . . I have the gift of the gab I cannot like this comment enough!! Every time mental illness is brought up on these forums, I cringe. The fact is that the majority of people have very little understanding of mental disorders and the surrounding issues, and the discussions just end up perpetuating the same old tired myths and stigmas. This is particularly the case with the lesser known and complex personality disorders, 'sufferers' (not correct terminology but I'm being a bit lazy here since I'm not writing for uni lecturers) of which are among the most vilified of all, due to the problematic and often destructive behaviours they exhibit. The lack of empathy for such people is very apparent in this thread. Unfortunately, few care to try and delve deeper underneath the behaviours to actually understand why the person is demonstrating them. And yes I do believe that past a certain point these are mental illnesses, because there is a complex interaction of brain chemistry and life experiences at play, and treatment will usually require a combination of medication and 'talk' therapy such as CBT (although the latter will be the main focus in contrast to conditions such as bipolar and schizophrenia in which meds are the dominant treatment). Now, while I agree that the person themselves must be the one to bring about change, and that there must be clear boundaries set in terms of acceptable behaviour, I don't agree with a 'big stick' approach. What should be remembered, is that these are people who have often had very traumatic childhoods, possibly involving abuse, and in many cases have never had anyone care enough about them to listen or try to help them in any way. As a result they have developed maladaptive coping mechanisms and means to try and get the attention and understanding they crave. So if someone comes in and just says "stop doing that or else" it's not likely to be very effective. Talking down to them as if they are a child will also just make them more defensive and unwilling to change. A partnership should be established in which their underlying issues can be discussed and addressed, and then moving on to agreed methods and goals for behaviour change with clear boundaries outlined as to what is acceptable / unacceptable. Also Wildsong - I'm interested in doing the mental health first aid course, have you done it? I'm considering working in mental health once I finish uni, and would be very interested to hear more about your work in human services
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not very good at expressing what I really want to say but let me assure you, LuckDragon's post just made me cry big, fat wet tears sliding down my cheeks to know there is hope. For me, it is exactly as LuckDragon dexcribed it, right from her very first words. . That was an amazing post LuckDragon, speaking for myself, I know I'm not doing myself any good sometimes, that it was a protective behaviour I learned, and that I end up in a loop of reaction/questioning which isn't easy to break out of. I did a workshop on the effects of trauma on children just over two weeks ago and that is one of the things I took particular note of at the time. I'm a Forgotten Australian (google it and the Royal Commision) and I often think that if I was to repeat a fraction of my life experiences, it would be unbelievable or seen as attention seeking. (PS: I agree that I couldn't think of a btter word than sufferers off-hand when I was posting). . I also read a saying very recently that gave me hope too... “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying”. Nelson Mandela (R.I.P, a great man has been lost to the world) . Well, I'm trying all right!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' Ms peachy... Wasn't it you who referred to past posters... ? Hp... Scratches head... Maybe my other personality just thought that it was you, or maybe one of your personalities told my other personalities... Who probably got mado involved, and then it was all over for me... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it... You muat have the wrong pesonality...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPear' Quoting 'Highpriority' Ms peachy... Wasn't it you who referred to past posters... ? Hp... Scratches head... Maybe my other personality just thought that it was you, or maybe one of your personalities told my other personalities... Who probably got mado involved, and then it was all over for me... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it... You muat have the wrong pesonality... I did be a very bad girl and actually name the person who was being talked about... twice. I've accepted the consequence for my misdemeanour and understand that I could, and probably should have handled it differently. But that doesn't mean I won't f*ck up again.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What great posts..Point taken, thank you both.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm too old and cynical to let them get within 6 foot... All my stories are real and not exaggerated... I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's great. Sometimes we need our thinking challenged....I've been there too. Sometimes it's hard to hear and it takes courage to take it on board but that's when real change happens. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think also, we need to make a distinction Quoting 'KiwiBred' and any undesirable behaviour can be changed but it wont happen until there is a shift in the mindset of the individual. People tend to define their lives and use their disorders and/or past traumatic experiences and use them as an excuse for their behaviour and I think that that is sad. Kaleidoscope, unpopular or not, I think that it is just a matter of time before being a catalyst for real change as opposed to the sympathetic/supportive approach really takes off. Semmelweis discovered that hand disinfection drastically reduced mortality - his ideas were rejected by the medical profession at the time but he is now known as the pioneer of antiseptic procedures. I don't see how being a 'catalyst for real change' and being supportive and empathetic are mutually exclusive. But, note that I changed 'sympathetic' to empathetic. Obviously for a treating professional sympathy is actually not a good thing and can lead to too much clouding of judgement. But, I think that if you actually really want to help people - and be effective at it - you need to have at least a certain degree of empathy for them, or else you're just going to alienate rather than engage. There should be some acknowledment of this person's past suffering, because that's something they've probably never had. Once they have had the chance to tell their story, things can move to the next level of overcoming that past, and moving beyond it. Same goes for the provision of support - again too much is not a good thing but a good mental health professional should be willing and able to provide a certain amount of moral and emotional support to their clients, and acknowledge positively any progress that is made. Getting them to focus on any improvements they have made to their life, their relationships, their health, and use this as encouragement, rather than pile on even more shame, guilt, and negativity. You will find that in many cases these people are aware that the things they are doing are not working, and are not good for them, and they will have already experienced a huge amount of rejection, anger, frustration, and other negative emotions from those around them due to their behaviours. And most likely they are also carrying a lot of self-directed negativity, have poor self-esteem, and little confidence in themselves. Why would they want to keep seeing a professional who just adds to that? I don't know, maybe I'm too idealistic, I certainly have a lot more to learn, but I don't think the treatment approach in these cases has to be either / or. I think it's possible to be both tough and empathetic; to set boundaries and expectations for behaviour, and be supportive. This is what we do with children when we are trying to teach them as they grow up, because we've learned that punishment only doesn't work, and neither does a too-softly approach with no limits. There needs to be a balance.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Oops, ignore that top unfinished sentence in my previous post, forgot to delete
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RHP User
11 years ago
The mental health first aid course I did was really good. I learned questions to ask in a situation where someone was depressed and possibly contemplating suicide as well as behaviours to look for. This was invaluable. From this and other posts of yours, I think you would make an excellent mental health worker and the recovery model gives more flexibility in the way you can work with people with a mental illness. I really like that you have made the distinction between empathy and sympathy. I too see them as different. I also think compassion is different to sympathy. Being compassionate does not mean being a walk over. A compassionate person can still have really clear boundaries. Good luck with your career and I'd be happy to share more about the work I have done if its possible to connect.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think they are mutually exclusive at all and I don't disagree with what you have said. I do believe that society generally accepts their behaviour and makes allowances to a certain extent that maintains sympathy, creating a social comfort zone of sorts that does little to challenge or encourage a positive change in mindset. Bear in mind that I'm referring specifically to people that use their disorders and/or past traumas as an excuse for their behaviour that don't hold themselves accountable for their actions.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Please point to exactly where anyone has said there is no place for empathy in the treatment of people with mental illness? As you've noted yourself there is a difference between sympathy and empathy. I personally chose the word sympathy because that is exactly the word I meant. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Languid
11 years ago
You should try Buddhist meditation. One of its teachings is that everything outside of you is an object and has no meaning. What gives it meaning is your perception of it. Still I don't think I would tell anyone on a first date that they were only an object. Far too easy for her to misinterpret it haha.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'WildSong' The mental health first aid course I did was really good. I learned questions to ask in a situation where someone was depressed and possibly contemplating suicide as well as behaviours to look for. This was invaluable. From this and other posts of yours, I think you would make an excellent mental health worker and the recovery model gives more flexibility in the way you can work with people with a mental illness. I really like that you have made the distinction between empathy and sympathy. I too see them as different. I also think compassion is different to sympathy. Being compassionate does not mean being a walk over. A compassionate person can still have really clear boundaries. Good luck with your career and I'd be happy to share more about the work I have done if its possible to connect. Thanks WildSong, I did try to send you a message but wasn't allowed to so I assume that one message per week that female guests are given, is only to contact males. I know that a lot of my thinking about treatment approaches for mental illness has been influenced by my own experiences. There are a lot of mental health professionals out there who are either unable or unwilling to to incorporate empathy and compassion into their approach, and I know how shitty they made me feel, on top of all the shittiness I was already feeling. While on the one hand the personal experience can be an advantage as it gives insight into behaviours and thought processes that most people cannot easily understand, I also know that it can be a challenge if I allow it to cloud my judgement and objectivity. So if I do end up working in mental health I know that is something I'll really need to watch out for. I'm definitely going to look into doing the first aid course next year.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is there anyone who would be kind enough to help these Wild and Luck connect?
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RHP User
11 years ago
this definition of the difference between pity and compassion....Pity is when your pain hits my fear....Compassion is when your pain hits my love...Ram Dass...Compassion In Action....I could't find the exact quote but I still like this definition xR
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Coops27M
11 years ago
Worst are the ones who always have a one up on everyone. Tell them a story of an experience and they've always got one better ;). What has always boggled my mind is that these people seem to genuinely believe their own rubbish. Sad really. I personally cannot claim to have done/seen something unless i have done/seen something. - Posted from rhpmobile
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