Love and exes

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  But it's been a very long time since I had an ex..Just remember CT they are your ex for a reason..either you ended it or she ended it...and if she ended it why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you....remember the good times but don't forget there must have been something that wasn't working...I know the heart wants what the heart wants C,but there are sooo many gorgeous women out there and having met you recently at the Melbourne M&G ,you should have heaps of them tripping over each other to get to you 😉...but you need to find that space to let them in...be happy that you had love once.because when it comes again you will recognise it xxFreya

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  For the record I ended it, when it became unrequited love from being mutual. But it was amicable and we were still in contact afterwards. There were many factors and you never have all the answers, but in its simplest terms I could summarise it as "right girl, wrong time". - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Looking back now, I didnt love either of my two long term exs. So at the age of 51 I still have to find true love. Scary thought. And Im with Freya, an ex is an ex for a reason. Revisiting, in my opinion, would be a waste of time. It has probably worked for some people, but id prefer to move on and start afresh.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  It's not the case of revisiting, but having feelings remain because a partner did not actually do anything wrong or against you. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Single_Guy4U

  10 years ago

  I believe sometimes relationships don't work due to "wrong time" scenario as Country says, also due to stresses such as work, financial etc, that can ruin a relationship before you know it. I had a relationship break up nearly 20-yaers ago now (after 10-year relationship). She got engaged to someone else but still stayed in my house for a few months until she got married (no problems). She is still married with children. We are not looking at getting back together but are still good friends and chat occasionally. So you can be friends with an ex, depends on the circumstances of the break-up.

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  MsJonesy

  10 years ago

  I fell out of love. As simple as that and as complicated as that. I had gone back to study and found myself mixing with a bunch of great people and I realised it was a long time since I had laughed freely, not worried about ensuring another person was ok (not even having a good time because he rarely did that), and had stimulating and random conversations that energised and intrigued me. It would have been way too easy to have an affair with one of these intoxicating people, but I didn't. It showed me how much my long term relationship had changed me.... and not for the better. I did some serious thinking about our relationship and my feelings for my partner... and concluded my love for him had gone and was replaced by a habit. It took awhile to separate but I know I did the right thing. Four months after splitting up one of my closest friends gave me a big hug and said it's so nice to see you again, you went missing for an awfully long time. It really did reinforce that I had lost me in my complicated and parasitic relationship. I don't miss him and never did, even in the first few months after we split up. Validation of a good decision really.

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I think you just wrote my story, exactly the same. OP, yes it can always be a case of right person wrong time, I tried again a few months back with an ex, we are seperated by a whole country but I was very willing to try, only to find out after having him here with me telling me how much he loved and adored me and wanted to be with me and only me, that he was nothing more than a fake. He had six women on the go, now I had known this person since we were little, never ever in my wildest dreams did I think he would ever be so cruel. I'm glad I found out, I did not shed one tear over that scum, but brushed him off and never to go there ever again. I am not perfect but I deserve so much more than that treatment. So in hindsight, don't go backwards is now my moto.

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  Lovinit28andKC72

  10 years ago

  EX's are EX's for a reason.....💋

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I'm with Freya.... Revisiting the past is like eating your own shit to see if it's the pizza you had the night before 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I'm not in love with any of my exes, and I don't pine for any of them, but I do still love a handful of them and get a nice warm flush of joy when I catch up with them or chat to them in one form or another. But the breaking up process has been very hard a few times, even when I've instigated it, and on a couple of occasions it's taken up to a couple of years to fully get over it. Ex sex doesn't help as much as you think it's going to either

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Except for one

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Except for one

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  sweetgem

  10 years ago

  Was, and still is, my longest record of hanging on to a broken love! I just couldn't stand being feeling sad over something that was over and gone! So, after three months of heartbreaking, I didn't see the point of making myself miserable any longer and moved on, even if I still loved the ex at the time of breaking up. Therefore, I do not have any ex that I still miss to date. What for? Life is too random to be trapped in my own emotional cave for someone or something that is not worth it! I have not had a properly and seriously committed relationship since the escape from my previous life, but in the past, I knew I had moved on when I woke up the next day smiling and didn't feel miserable nor lacking of motivation to do anything. Fortunately, I have a very strong personality and have seen life a lot worse than losing a relationship with a man, hence it was easy for me to move on without finding a new love to help held my hands to walk again! :-) - Posted from rhpmobile

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  SacralChakra

  10 years ago

  I don't have any love for any exes. For me, I find it easiest to take some time to concentrate on fully letting go and moving forward. Break ups are a really good time for personal growth. I've just had an ex lover who dumped me for 'true love' contact me as the new thing didn't work out. Too late though - I'm over him...

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  Hi Countrytouch, Maybe I have a perspective that could be termed as 'rare'. I first married at 18 (had 3 kids under the age of 3 by the time I was still 20... She cheated (copiously) and left me with the kids, which I raised myself. The result, of course, was divorce.Then I met my second wife (who also had 3 kids). A loving, more kind or gentle soul, you couldn't meet in a lifetime. After 10 years together... Ten years of finding out what it was to be truly in love and happy, despite the physical challenge of 6 kids and time together etc, she got cancer.. I cared for her for 18 months will she passed away, at home, in my arms (the way she wanted it to be). To answer your question. The first one, I think of rarely... Given the way she hurt me and the kids and also the way it was done causes me not to be very concerned or interested what happened to her or where she is. My 2nd wife I miss every day, in my heart. but having been 19 years ago, it's not a yearning or a sad or upsetting thing... It's more like a pleasant memory of a wonderful time I was privileged to be given and enjoy (which most people never get to know of). I missed her so 'Terribly' in the beginning I contemplated suicide. I became a 'recluse for 10 years, just working and doing what I needed to do to keep the house and look after the 6 kids... Slowly after 10 years, I felt ready to venture out to the world. I found a different place and different people. Thanks to 'Online Dating which 9 years ago wasn't as common or as accepted as it is today, I was able to hook up with a number of ladies and enjoyed some wonderful relationships. Because, I suppose I was ready and had taken the time I did to work things out and to grieve and recover etc, I never found that the death of my wife interfered with anything. She was a nice memory that all ladies I met were happy to hear about... But I was also obviously over it all in terms of "BAGGAGE". But yes, I still LOVE her, as such, but not in the same way. I love her for who and what she 'WAS' to me. She's no longer here and can't be any more than what I've said... So, consequently, whoever I am with, gets ALL I have to give in that regard and more, as I believe our capacity to love grows as we get older and learn more of love, women and relationships... Hope that helps in some way, mate...

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  Lovinit28andKC72

  10 years ago

  Thank you lovely.... I love taking photos and I'm getting good at it now days....💋

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  RHP User

  10 years ago

  I agree ex's are ex's for a reason. I am still in touch with my ex as we still have a lot of respect for each other. We are still friends and both of us know we will never get back together. Nor do we want to. But there is no love there in any way except as a friend. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  Dryphuz

  10 years ago

  but there is one i still lust after. She was exceptional in bed. Every dirty thought i ever had, she suggested (or simply performed) before i could bring it up.Whoever ends up with her is one lucky bastard...

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  PurePeony

  9 years ago

  Great thread, OP! I was searching for another old thread when I bumped into this and thought I'd bump it. ;) Do you have an ex that you still miss, possibly even love? Yes. If you still loved them at a breakup, how long did you hang on to that? Quietly, for a few years. Do you fall out of love over time, and how do you know when you have? Yes. The more I loved them, or the stronger the connection, the longer it takes for me to get over them. I'll know that I have gotten over them when one fine day, I pause and realise that I haven't thought of them at all for a long time. OR, I'll suddenly think of them out of the blue and have a wistful smile and start to wonder what they are doing, etc but I no longer feel the ache in my heart. Or have you only moved on after finding new love? Nope. One can have a new love interest, but still lick old wounds. Rebound relationships aren't fair to the other party. Best to take as long as you require to grieve over the loss of the relationship first before embarking on a new one. If single, are there times when you miss them more than most? Yes. Idle minds often go wandering. :P Usually during the holiday seasons.

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