F45
Love me, love my poor-choice-of-partner?
August 17 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Keep your values intact.
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RHP User
9 years ago
What were you hoping for? That she would dump him?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' What were you hoping for? That she would dump him? Oh god no! Just that she would still be my friend.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Once upon a time she loved me for being this way. Now I'm the bad guy? It's just not what I expected from her. Love is a powerful drug I guess.
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RHP User
9 years ago
is a two way street..... If she has every right defend her man....you have every right to reject him and there be no conflict..... Otherwise is she and you truly to the belief that you're all entitled to an opinion?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Its great you made your point and felt good about it. Perhaps you should have spoken to her about it first in a gentle way without hurting your friendship. Sometimes girl talk is all that is required to let her know your feelings without the ultimatums. Experience says you cant always change peoples minds and attitudes and its best to choose the battles you take on if winning is your goal. Given that she says she loves the guy, I don't see how else it could have played out. Partners, lovers and spouses may come and go but true friends will remain. Maybe it is time to move on and if her circumstances change she will know how to contact you. I hope it works out for you. LG
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' Keep your values intact. Values +1Friendship -1 I wonder, is that really winning?
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
She will be back Ms.Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
my good friend shared with me "i knew that one day you would be single again"the friend that he is new there was no point sharing that information with meuntil after the event - ( 17 yrs )(you may be waiting a while to re kindle that friendship)
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couplefairride
9 years ago
did she jump under a rock or got hit by a rock. She'll be back H&M - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Can't you agree to disagree? You can't expect everyone around you to see the world through the same lens. If he's not overly vocal about it and doesn't mention it face to face, how about unfriending him on Facebook? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Do not ponder over what you should of done this should of done that it will not change the position you are in at this time. But what you must ponder is does your friendship between you and your girlfriend really that strong in the first place or is it more comfort for you to have her in your life or did she seek comfort from you ? if its the later and your friendship was mostly onesided she now has a shoulder a rock in him for comfort and you are not as vital in her life now. I dont know you craving touch but what i recall from past posts is that you are a very independant and strong minded woman that obviously does not stand for discriminatory views or the like so at a guess I'm thinking your friend will shun you now as you are not required in her life . Now if you seek comfort in your friend then you may have to swallow your pride a little and work around this problem to get her back . But honestly do friends i mean best friends do that ?? No Years ago i had the same homophobic views as society still has today sad but true. I went out with a beautiful woman whos brother was gay , now i lived with her for 6 months in her brothers house and my mates would be homophobic and make comments That would upset my girlfriend and if i said anything derogatory she would not be happy with me ,So what i had to do was grow up and accept everyone has a right to be who they want , i told my mates to cut the homophobic shit i have had a gutfull its gotta stop now ! and you know what i lost one obviously was no mate the other ones are still my mates today and they show respect for all and our friendship was strong enough to last when changes had to be made . Thats what friends are for to be there for each other because they care not because they need something from you. So ask yourself how strong really is this friendship ? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
new partners do get in the way of some friendships. I agree with your view, but everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it is an archaic view! My best friend if 17yrs and I have only just reconnected after 3 yrs of not talking (we are both stubborn bitches). We had a great catch up over the weekend, where I told her I love having her back in my life and she said the same thing, we both have missed so much. I can't tell you how to fix it, but don't be unbendable! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Like most relationships sometimes have a use by date..people change.your friend has a partner who is more important to her than the friendship with you.Their relationship may not last and she may want to be friends again ,but would you want that..I just recently realised that I have been de-friended by someone,it was not dramatic just that I am obviously not someone she wishes to spend time with outside of the one day a week we see each other at work...people's priorities change ,it's just the way it is..make a new friend, I say xxFreya
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is with a guy who is actually a nice guy, but they are just not good for each other. Its difficult for me as I like them both. They argue constantly and Ive had a few late night teary phone calls from her. I used to side with her, but now Im more diplomatic as they always get back together. Im not going to say anything else to her as she is in love with him, but if it falls apart I will be here for her.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SugarSirenxx' new partners do get in the way of some friendships. I agree with your view, but everyone is entitled to their opinion even if it is an archaic view! My best friend if 17yrs and I have only just reconnected after 3 yrs of not talking (we are both stubborn bitches). We had a great catch up over the weekend, where I told her I love having her back in my life and she said the same thing, we both have missed so much. I can't tell you how to fix it, but don't be unbendable! - Posted from rhpmobile Great advice, and I agree, I won't be unbendable, just disappointed.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Freya70' Like most relationships sometimes have a use by date..people change.your friend has a partner who is more important to her than the friendship with you.Their relationship may not last and she may want to be friends again ,but would you want that..I just recently realised that I have been de-friended by someone,it was not dramatic just that I am obviously not someone she wishes to spend time with outside of the one day a week we see each other at work...people's priorities change ,it's just the way it is..make a new friend, I say xxFreya Ahh Freya, I agree that sometimes you just have to move on, however, I'm a sentimental soul, the kind who has many friendly people around but only a few good friends, friends I value highly and would like to keep, flaws and all. This woman is not disposable in my life and I have no doubt we will still be friends, just, somewhat broken ones for the time being.
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On_Safari
9 years ago
Homophobia is alive and well in our society and until people allow themselves the chance to form a different view by stepping outside their comfort zone it won't change. If your friends man and his friends actually spent timewith some gay persons maybe they'd realise how much they have in common? As for your friend choosing to share your concerns but ultimately choose her guy well......put yourself in her shoes. You may have reacted the same or you may have found some way to nullify or mediate the situation for a win win. She maycome back someday, maybe she won't. When one door closes another is sure to open. Don't feel bad CT, a reason, a season or a lifetime: people come and go, even the ones you thought wouldn't. It's a learning curve, be grateful and smile, life still has lots to offer and friends are just strangers you haven't met yet. 😏
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'On_Safari' Homophobia is alive and well in our society and until people allow themselves the chance to form a different view by stepping outside their comfort zone it won't change. If your friends man and his friends actually spent timewith some gay persons maybe they'd realise how much they have in common? As for your friend choosing to share your concerns but ultimately choose her guy well......put yourself in her shoes. You may have reacted the same or you may have found some way to nullify or mediate the situation for a win win. She maycome back someday, maybe she won't. When one door closes another is sure to open. Don't feel bad CT, a reason, a season or a lifetime: people come and go, even the ones you thought wouldn't. It's a learning curve, be grateful and smile, life still has lots to offer and friends are just strangers you haven't met yet. 😏 Thank you lovely, hmm profile change, loving what I read
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RHP User
9 years ago
Well I certainly wouldn't recommend that you start posting research into homophobia, and how it seems very much linked to homosexual arousal. And I also wouldn't recommend that you suggest to your girlfriend to invest in some strap ons and a double ended dildo. That would be very base. >,< But .... Facebook, finding out things you'd never know, never wanted about a person since 2004 There about only about 10 facebook friends whose posts who ever make it to my feed. The rest I hide. For a mix of reasons: they bore me to tears; I can't believe we share any genetic material; fark me what a stoopid ass, but I have to play nice. Don't worry too much about what you should have done, that's done. I'm sure things can be patched up. I mean ... she'll need someone by her side, when she realises she has been sex drunk, and blinded by love.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have too many gay freinds and relatives to not do as you've done, but her tolerance of his behaviour would also cross my line. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ahahahaha "sex drunk and blinded by love". Love it. Could really use a drink actually...
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RHP User
9 years ago
Did I over-react to social media? No, I don't think so at all. A friend of mine became a born again Christian (fine of course), then suddenly started posting all kinds of pro-life things on Facebook. I unfriended her as a result. Should I have handled this differently considering the friendship was my priority? I think you did what you thought was right, and you stayed true to yourself. Sounds great to me. If in hindsight you think you could have handled things better, than do so next time. IS a homophobic opinion still a valid one that people are entitled to have? Absolutely, people are allowed to have an opinion on everything. It's how they choose to voice that opinion that matters. I have no issue at all with my friend being pro-life, but showing that she is by posting graphic abortion pics is not the way to express it in my view. What does this say about our friendship in the first place?People change, and as a result friendships change too. It sounds like your friend is in denial, and it's easier for her to believe that you are wrong than have to question her own judgement. From what you write it sounds she already knows not all is well with him and your comments may have been quite confronting and even threatening. If and when things end with him, she may even blame you for a while. Denial and self-preservation are powerful things. One of my dearest friends I have known for 11 years has been seeing a guy who is in a relationship, and his girlfriend is completely unaware. My friend knows very well how I feel about this, but I've made very clear that I will always be there for her even though I don't agree with what she is doing. I said several times that though she is a priority in my life, I did not want to meet him (or I'd probably slap him). I thought she was ok with that, but a few weeks back when going out for drinks with three other friends, she brought him along without letting me now in advance. I restrained myself and shook his hand (I even smiled), but did not engage with him further and left after an hour or so I've not heard from my friend since, she has not responded to my sms either. All I know for sure is that when she contacts me in the future I'll be waiting, no questions asked. Time will tell.
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RHP User
9 years ago
and the friendship meant alot then perhaps I wouldnt have barred them from your home. Did he ever voice his opinion to you, family or social circle. If there was a risk of him hurting anyone with his opinion then I would have considered it. Everyone does have a right to an opinion and you also have the choice to disagree. Its unfortunate that some people dont accept peoples gay or bi choices to live there lives as they wish. You know that many men accept gay and bi women but not men. I believe in time you will gain her friendship back at some point but you cant expect her to choose between the two of you. So for now she is happy and you need to be happy for her.
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cleopatrababe
9 years ago
I had a gf new partner tell me my new man at the time was a fag because he didint drink and led a healthy life it really upset me i walked out on her and never went back i dont tolerate bad manners and disrespect of others its just not acceptable he had been rude to me before this and i felt that three is a crowd i wasnt going to be part of the third wheel sometimes u have to move forward and let them get on with it
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RHP User
9 years ago
If my best friend was seeing a homophobe I would unfriend him from facebook and I would try to not spend too much time with him and her together. But to say that to your friend... that he is not welcome in your house. I don't know, for me you crossed a line and did not support your friend.
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RHP User
9 years ago
To elaborate a little on the story, I removed him from facebook within 48 hours and had a good old think about it before I had the conversation with her. The thing is, my housemates and regular visitors see homophobia on the same level as racism and bigotry, and if his opinion on the matter came out in conversation, it would not go down well. I could no longer guarantee his comfort and safety in my home. I also knew I wouldn't be able to hide my disdain for him in person which would be a massive change from my usually friendly and talkative interactions with him (we had become genuine friends in person before he showed his facebook). So I was as gentle as I could about it with her, we have a long history of being very frank and direct with each other and it was bugging the shit out of me, I would have wanted her to tell me if our places were reversed. Anyway, she was still welcome and we agreed we can just do girly things now. Only it didn't happen that way. The reason she doesn't cross the line for me too is because she's in love, I've done some pretty dumb things and been with some less-than-ideal characters in the name of love before. Love is blind, love is acceptance, love is forgiving. She's still a good human, that hasn't changed, so I will still be here for her whenever she needs or wants me, I just won't be dropping in on her anytime soon.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Did I over-react to social media? No, I don't think so at all. A friend of mine became a born again Christian (fine of course), then suddenly started posting all kinds of pro-life things on Facebook. I unfriended her as a result. Should I have handled this differently considering the friendship was my priority? I think you did what you thought was right, and you stayed true to yourself. Sounds great to me. If in hindsight you think you could have handled things better, than do so next time. IS a homophobic opinion still a valid one that people are entitled to have? Absolutely, people are allowed to have an opinion on everything. It's how they choose to voice that opinion that matters. I have no issue at all with my friend being pro-life, but showing that she is by posting graphic abortion pics is not the way to express it in my view. What does this say about our friendship in the first place?People change, and as a result friendships change too. It sounds like your friend is in denial, and it's easier for her to believe that you are wrong than have to question her own judgement. From what you write it sounds she already knows not all is well with him and your comments may have been quite confronting and even threatening. If and when things end with him, she may even blame you for a while. Denial and self-preservation are powerful things. One of my dearest friends I have known for 11 years has been seeing a guy who is in a relationship, and his girlfriend is completely unaware. My friend knows very well how I feel about this, but I've made very clear that I will always be there for her even though I don't agree with what she is doing. I said several times that though she is a priority in my life, I did not want to meet him (or I'd probably slap him). I thought she was ok with that, but a few weeks back when going out for drinks with three other friends, she brought him along without letting me now in advance. I restrained myself and shook his hand (I even smiled), but did not engage with him further and left after an hour or so I've not heard from my friend since, she has not responded to my sms either. All I know for sure is that when she contacts me in the future I'll be waiting, no questions asked. Time will tell. Thanks for taking the time and attention to answer my questions in detail, and especially for agreeing with me! Time will not only tell, it will also heal.
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TallBaldSexy
9 years ago
Righteousness is a two edge sword isn't it. Employing it doesn't always give us tge "win " we wanted. But as you've experienced it generally does force an outcome. So here's the thing lovers can come and go but friends - true friends endure. I agree with that foxxxxxy lass above I think you're friend will cum back to you but indeed that could be a while away. If I were you I'd not give up on her. We can't force peoe to reconnect we have to inspire them to. Inspire that outcome. SAx
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think if he'd said things in front of you, and you'd disagreed in person - or even in comments on his facebook - and that had turned into a big argument then it might be different, but as it is, I think you should have just let it go. It was a few months of knowing the fellow and you didn't even know he had homophobic tendencies till you saw it on facebook! It is a shame your friendship was damaged, but you didn't have to continue reading his facebook comments/posts, you can unfollow/mute them so you're still 'friends' but not actively following. I've done that with people - I didn't need to see constant and stupid sniping from two facebook friends that got divorced, it was daft, and getting in the way of seeing more "totally amazing thing that you'll never believe what happens next..." clickbait. Just do what everyone else does, roll your eyes in private and/or bitch about him to the other girls in your group of friends :p
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RHP User
9 years ago
Personally, I think you should have stayed out of it. He clearly has a different belief to you and that's his right. Likewise, it's your right to not agree. However, you seem to make a point about him being vocal in his opinions against gay marriage ... but yet you imply that it is ok to be vocal in support of gay marriage. What he has done is no different to the thousands of people protesting for gay marriage. Maybe I'm just a neutral bystander but are you not being a bit hypocritical? I think we should respect everyone's opinions whether or not they agree with our own.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I fail to understand how she can tolerate his gay bashing if she herself is bi? I wonder what his position will be when she offers him a threesome? Though I am well aware that men will do and say stuff around other men to "be in with the crowd", to put it on FB is basically attacking her lifestyle choice. I can't see the relationship lasting, so CT I'd suggest waiting patiently until she realizes what she gave up.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' I fail to understand how she can tolerate his gay bashing if she herself is bi? I wonder what his position will be when she offers him a threesome? Though I am well aware that men will do and say stuff around other men to "be in with the crowd", to put it on FB is basically attacking her lifestyle choice. I can't see the relationship lasting, so CT I'd suggest waiting patiently until she realizes what she gave up. Well he's that special type of Aussie stereotype that are all for "lezzo's" but treat gay men like the plague. How can she tolerate him? Like I said, love is blind, and powerful.
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erotictouch4u
9 years ago
Some deeply religious people, either from upbringing or "found again" have the views you say he had.So too do narrow minded people.It could also have just been bravado with his Facebook mates and not expressed with your girlfriend or her friends (you).Personally I would have given him the benefit of the doubt until his views one way or another came out in conversation or reactions and then taken the appropriate stance.Innocent until proven guilty...ET xox
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RHP User
9 years ago
now I am trying to remain completely impartial here .... and bring a neutral argument to the table ... Unicorn99, what if some people view gay marriage as attacking their lifestyle choice? PS - before you throw me in that category please read my profile and see I am not gay bashing. .... I just don't understand why everyone can't tolerate other peoples thoughts/opinions?
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have always been offended by homophobic people, right from the time i was very young, strangely, even as a teenager. My family are very old fashioned, and many times i was disgusted with what i heard but spoke my mind, as i do. I could never understand why it was expected a man and woman should be attracted to each other, what difference did it make if male to male or female to female, it's just about animal instinct, pleasure, so who cares? If your friend is bi, why isn't she offended by his behavior? There's no grey area with me, zero tolerance, very few things i feel that strongly about in fact. I have no problem letting go of friends if they don't enbrace me, my lifestyle, because it's me, it's who i am, anf if they don't accept me for who i am, i move on. I'm happy and don't want to waste my time on people like that, better things to do wih my time haha not that i'm suggesting you act the same way, just saying i personally think you did the right thing - Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
9 years ago
Sometimes means in losing a problem, means in losing a friend. Mado Mado Tara xx
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
That I wouldn't spend time with people that I didn't like, get along with, have anything in common with, who threated me or others in a way we didn't deserve, or who weren't good genuine people. I want to only bring people into my life that were positive, open minded, kind hearted, honest and loyal.... I don't think you didn't anything wrong at all, I have a very low tolerance for homophobia, racists, narrow mindedness and people with these traits are not people I want to spend time with, want in my home, around my children or have in my life....💋
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Friends are no different to wives/husbands. One day you are married and the next..........well things change. Or rather people change. We all evolve and sometimes evolve by the people we are with at the time. I have seen so many friends come and go in my life. I no longer dwell on their reactions/interactions to me. Their closeness is only governed by the moment. I value the friendships and they get back what they put in. I am able to enjoy my own company so if their input is sparse, i have no trouble becoming sparse in their life.And when I see so many of friends lives affected negatively by facebook, it reinforces why i do not have it in my life. If I wanted anyone to know what I'm doing, I tell them. I dont need to broadcast it and I don't need to broadcast my views onto them.With personal interaction, you can tone your views down to suit the relationship you have with that person. You get immediate feedback and know when you reach a threshold of limitation. You can make a decision there and then if you need to push further.You know that one size does not fit all. Facebook is forcing that one size fits all. But it doesn't fit in all cases and friendships suffer. Facebook is responsible for more friendships/marriage destruction than any other means including affairs. It is the way of the times. For most anyway. Friends and Facebook do not always mix, but that's life now. Annie (Bit of Auntie there, sorry) xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Whateverway' Friends are no different to wives/husbands. One day you are married and the next..........well things change. Or rather people change. We all evolve and sometimes evolve by the people we are with at the time. I have seen so many friends come and go in my life. I no longer dwell on their reactions/interactions to me. Their closeness is only governed by the moment. I value the friendships and they get back what they put in. I am able to enjoy my own company so if their input is sparse, i have no trouble becoming sparse in their life.And when I see so many of friends lives affected negatively by facebook, it reinforces why i do not have it in my life. If I wanted anyone to know what I'm doing, I tell them. I dont need to broadcast it and I don't need to broadcast my views onto them.With personal interaction, you can tone your views down to suit the relationship you have with that person. You get immediate feedback and know when you reach a threshold of limitation. You can make a decision there and then if you need to push further.You know that one size does not fit all. Facebook is forcing that one size fits all. But it doesn't fit in all cases and friendships suffer. Facebook is responsible for more friendships/marriage destruction than any other means including affairs. It is the way of the times. For most anyway. Friends and Facebook do not always mix, but that's life now. Annie (Bit of Auntie there, sorry) xx We will have to agree to disagree on this one, "facebook", or any other kinds of digital social media are just a new way of communicating, the personalities are the same and you are in control of everything you share on there, it's a great way to break down physical isolation and still feel connected to people and the world. Besides, I'm a big fan of transparency. Especially in clothing. When social media and transparent clothing come together, beautiful things can happen!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Lovinit28'I have a very low tolerance for homophobia, racists, narrow mindedness and people with these traits are not people I want to spend time with, want in my home, around my children or have in my life....💋 Neither do I, but how would you deal with someone whom you dearly love who's involved with a person exactly like that? Would you kick them out of your life too, though they are still the person you hold dear? I couldn't and I just hope my friend can tell the difference.
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
No, my brother married the woman who was fucking my husband, all whilst pretending to be my friend, so she could do so... I love my brother, does he have poor choices in partners, yep for sure, I think so anyway. She is now the mother of my nieces and nephews, I keep the peace, I smile and I'm polite when we are all together, have I forgiven her, yes, have I forgotten, no, I just don't spend as much time with them as I would like too..... I also don't have a lot of close friends, I pretty much stick to myself, I guess it's easier for me this way....💋
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RHP User
9 years ago
Lovinit,I have TimTams 😛xxFreya
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
Can you bring them to Melbourne for me please????
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RHP User
9 years ago
😝😝😝
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RHP User
9 years ago
You still value the friendship, just make sure she knows your door is open. Otherwise just move on, life is like that sometimes you have to follow the bigger truth. How would you feel about yourself if you had to live the lie ?
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RHP User
9 years ago
Let a man interfere with the friendships of my best girlfriends. It happened to me once when I was around 17. The friendship with my girlfriend was repaired, but it's never been quite the same. (We've been friends for over 30 years.) In our case, we both fought over the same guy we both liked. This women iis your friend. You aren't his friend. Being someone's friend is being there for them through thick and thin. I don't think it's necessary to agree on every point in life with my friends. With all due respect whilst you don't agree with his comment's on gay marriage, he is entitled to his opinion. We are living in a democracy, not a dictatorship where freedom of speech is banned. If someone is a really, truly, true friend. They accept your point of view and move on. More importantly, friends don't judge each other. You accept each other for who you are. Individuals. Not peas in a pod. But hell could freeze over before I'd ever, ever let my own partner (if I had one) come between my friendships with anyone , be it male or female or a girlfriends partner come between my friendship with her. True friendships are rare, and fleeting. Life is too short to be fighting and snipping at each other. What it really comes down to is wanting to be right, and making yourself right, because your point of view is the only right one, and no one else can ever be right except you. (And I'm not referring to you personally. Everyone thinks like this at some stage. Myself included.) I did a fantastic course many years ago, and one of the things I got out of it was, "It's just a conversation. There is no right or wrong. It's just a conversation with someone. Try not to make it 'mean' something." . You don't have to agree with your girlfriends partner, or like him. But she is your friend. Be her friend. Isolating someone and flicking them is not being a friend. As the old saying goes, "I'll criticize you, because you're my husband, wife or family etc., And I have a right to criticize you! Anyone else criticizes you though - I'll scratch their eyes out in defending you!"....... That's exactly how your friend is probably feeling. I might be reading this the wrong way, but I sense that what you are saying to your girlfriend is, that you don't agree with her partner's opinion and she needs to make a choice - it's either you or him. That is not being a friend. You are also placing her in a very difficult position.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have nothing against gay people. One of my sons is gay and I love him as much and dearly as my other kids... I've met many of his friends and they've confided in me about how they were treated when their fathers were told (or found out. Many were beaten and thrown out of home and completely disowned by the entire family... It wasn't till they met me for the first time that they admitted to actually believing my son when he spoke of me and how I accepted and supported him. Fuck... he's my son for God's sake... However, there are many men who, for some reason, have an unreasonable and unfathomable dislike (or worse) for gay men. (Yet they'll sit and watch two gay women go at it for ages and get off on it... as we do... LOL). I don't know if they're threatened or just carry on that way to 'be on of the boys'... I'm afraid it's something that's never really going to go away. I do have to say though, that so long as they don't so anything physical or cruel, they are entitled to an opinion, whether it's considered by some, many or most to be wrong or misguided. Your girlfriend has probably seen his opinion as his right and your judgment of his right to have one as an assault on that right. I suppose when it comes right down to it... if people have a right to be Gay (and practice gay sex in their own homes and not upset anyone), people have a right to object to the lifestyle, based on whatever reasons they have, so long as they do that in THEIR own space (which is what you Facebook Page is) among their own friends who think the same, so long as they don't harm anyone else. It;s ad that a friendship was lost because two people fell in love... But shit does happen. And prejudice often plays a part in these disagreements and losses. It is a shame...
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RHP User
9 years ago
I find it interesting the way people say they'd never let a partner interfere with friendships - it'd be the partner that got the chop. Aren't people friends with their partners? how do you decide between two friends?
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RHP User
9 years ago
People will give you the flick if the dog doesn't like you !
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've never been in a serious relationship in which there has been any friends that I didn't like or get on with (and vice versa). But then, I am pretty easy going and just because someone had an opposing view or an opinion that was, to me, just wrong, I would never place my someone I loved or cared for in a position where they had to choose... It's an awful position to be in and an awful one to place someone you supposedly feel for, in. You see thir friends occasionally... You see them all the time and over and above that, if they are important to you, you accept that they have a friend who may not be your choice for a friend, but shit... we all have faults and is it really a fault to simply have a friend who has a view you don't agree with? No wonder so many relationships don't work out, if not liking a friend of the one you love is reason to throw it all away... Tolerance people... Understanding and Tolerance!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Muso17' Tolerance people... Understanding and Tolerance! Should we tolerate other people being hurt by blind prejudice though? After all, don't you agree... "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" - Ed Burke (probably) ? Shunning those who suffer prejudiced thoughts isn't productive really either, education is the way, but my emotions get in the way of productive solutions all the time.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CravingTouch' Quoting 'Muso17' Tolerance people... Understanding and Tolerance! Should we tolerate other people being hurt by blind prejudice though? After all, don't you agree... "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" - Ed Burke (probably) ? Shunning those who suffer prejudiced thoughts isn't productive really either, education is the way, but my emotions get in the way of productive solutions all the time. Yes, it was Edmund Burke... I understand completely what you're saying... But I stick by what I said... If, for instance, I had a friend that was in the Nazi party and believed the crud they aspire to... Not that I would, but say I did. Of course, I would be continually be trying to point out the total evil and inhumanity of his/her belief... But I would be very disappointed if my 'Lover/Partner/Wife" gave me the flick because I also saw some good in this person and wanted to try and help them see what is to all od us, the truth... (Just an analogy... Not that it would happen or that I would befriend a Nazi). Saying I am a Happy, peaceful man and believe in 'Tolerance and understanding, doesn't mean I will stand by and allow any group of people (regardless) be persecuted or spoken of cruelly or whatever. It means that I would find a way to 'peace and happiness' for all concerned. But I wouldn't expect to get the flick for having the 'wrong type of friend' which in itself is prejudice. I have a gay son and I have friends who tell jokes and generally express their opinion about (all the names they are called other than homosexual)... My son doesn't disown me because I have these friends. He knows that I support him and he also knows and has seen me chide my friends for being so intolerant and surprisingly, I generally get apologies. Maybe I should have said Tolerance, Understanding and Positive Influence...
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RHP User
9 years ago
I am amazed by your thinking Muso.You tolerate homophobia,and if you had a friend who was a Nazi be his friend and try to re-educate him ,the same for racisism and misogony I imagine ...you could tolerate him all the same?...Sorry I just don't get it ...I think many people would think you re at the very least giving your tacit support to those views..
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Wet_Paint' People will give you the flick if the dog doesn't like you ! But unfortunately one of my dogs loves everyone and the other just hates humans in general. They're no help at all.
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