Love triangle… help!

January 06 2014

About 10 months ago I met two sisters (one older than me, one younger), who I instantly became very good friends with.They are both two of the most amazing people I’ve met.Straight away, I was quite attracted to the younger one (pretty much perfect for me), but as she had a boyfriend, there wasn’t much I could do. A few months ago they broke up, but in this time I had become very close friends with the older sister – but it also became clear that she had strong feelings for me.Because of this I decided not to pursue the younger, as the thought of turning my friend down for her sister (whom she lives with) seemed too hurtful.I thought the best thing would be to all stay ‘friends’. Then last month, the older sister kissed me while we were drunk, then the next week the younger one came onto me very directly.I downplayed both, which they took ok, but they thought I was acting weird - obviously picking up on feelings I had, but trying to hide. I really love my friend, she is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, but the truth is I don’t feel the spark with her like I do for her sister – even though we would make a great couple.I also feel for her, as I think she’s a little depressed about getting older, being alone and not having children. I’ve also found myself getting jealous and a little bit hurt now that the younger sister is dating again – but of course this is my own stupid fault. To add to the complication, I’m moving away from the area soon, so there’s really no hope of any relationship – but I feel the need to be honest and explain my awkwardness, but I don’t know if I should, or to who?The older sister because she’s my close friend, or the younger one as she’s the one I have feelings for? Thanks for reading, and sorry if I sound like a 16 yo. Romance does strange things to a person!Any advice much appreciated!

Comments

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Call Jerry Springer lol - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mischeviouslad

    Mischeviouslad

    11 years ago

    Do nothing. It will only cause unnecessary drama. You are moving away.....you're 31.... It's a good time to also move on and move forward, move onwards and upwards. DG - Posted from rhpmobile

  • Mr_MrsAraps

    Mr_MrsAraps

    11 years ago

    It's okay to be honest and say even though we kissed etc I see you as a good friend but I don't feel I have a sexual chemistry towards you. As for the younger sister, well if she is in a relationship now then you missed your boat though can always say respectfully (in lew of moving away) that if that ever changes then my all means contact me. W. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Well to be honest actually ,you dont have to say nothing really...just say maybe like , Thanks for the friendships you truly appreciate your time with them and nice knowing them both all this time but now time to say, " Adios My friends , see ya next time !!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I agree with Aarps, although I wouldn't say anything to the younger sister at all. Just stalk her FB account until she is single again then make your move. :p

  • Yesyoudo

    Yesyoudo

    11 years ago

    You are not really thinking of them. If there is no chance of anything then leave it at that. Sometimes the best ting to do is nothing. If you were honest would someone get hurt? Who really benefits? Life experience talking.

  • Cheekyarses

    Cheekyarses

    11 years ago

    Just let it be! Stay friends with both of them, but let it go :-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    A man who wants to be thoughtful about how he handles a tricky emotional situation. Loving that. Given you're moving away I'd say nothing to either of the sisters. A bit of distance and time will give you a clearer perspective. It's the classic 'sleep on it' scenario. In time if you still feel you need to say something it will probably be easier to work out what to say and to whom. I also agree with Meeka's comment about staying in touch and seeing what might evolve with the younger sister. Why not, life's short ;)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    OP what today is a major event, occupies your mind relentlessly, and gives rise to considering the absurd, will in due time be but a distant memory. Not in a long time as well. Who knows where you will be in a year. In a years time the two may be but a occasional memory and you will be fixated on another. It is clear that you have strong feeling toward your friends, but I will say, love comes and goes, but good friendship is hard to find. If I were you I would forget any notion of love and concentrate on being friends. Think back, how many times in the past have you been smitten by a woman? Where are they now, is there regret or were they but ships in the night? What of old friends? Very soon this day will be the past so think of all the adventure still ahead of you. For life should only get better and you are still very young.

  • N4November

    N4November

    11 years ago

    My advice is to go humbly and say nothing except how much you have valued their respective friendship! Try not to be weird about it! Give it at least 6 months and if your feelings for the younger sister continues to plague you relentlessly, I would suggest a 'reason' to see her somehow. A mates birthday, training course, anything! See how it goes and if she too admits that she has feelings, you could slowly start 'something' while being mindful that you don't want to hurt the older sisters feelings. If it turns out to be nothing, so be it. But if you two believe that you are perfect for each other, one would hope that as soon as she got over an initial disappointment, she too would see how happy you guys are! There's also the scenario with boiling bunnies but you get the idea. What? Gen Y? Google it FFS! Good luck!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I am now in a relationship with a family member of my ex husband. I didn't meet this person until I was almost married to his relation. Looking back now on the last 30 years, what we had was always there. Due to conservative natures and respective spouses we downplayed our feelings and were great mates. We lost touch for ten years due to the separation.....and have now been inseparable apart from work for a year. Interestingly, my ex gave him my number and encouraged him to meet me Again. All that see us together ..go. AHAAAAAA!!!!! Of course. Love is friendship set on fire couple that with honesty, caring and truth plus a fantastic physical connection. Interesting, when asked what would he change.... He said simply I want us to be 20 again to have our lives ahead of us...... Some family were taken aback but have grown to love the smiles on both our faces. So my response is different to the others. If you truly think, there is something, speak up........ The worst that can happen is she says NO or not now......you are no worse off. We both now that there were several times, we could have made a move and will forever regret.....time lost. Not to say there are not some great things that came from our life to get us here and be the people we are.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Friends are more important than Fucks . GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Say nothing. What purpose does that serve. Who wants to know that you're fantastic and amazing but you come second to your younger sister when it comes to attraction and sex appeal. Say nothing! My 5c worth. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Don't end by entering the life of tangled web we weave ?? Best to let it all go and keep as lasting memory...

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Talk them into a having a 3-some with you ... ;-)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I'm with the others. Leave it alone walk away....say nothing....do nothing....and concentrate on you. If it's meant to be, they will seek you out. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I wouldn't say a word to either of them. You are moving away so don't make things awkward between the three of you. On a side note.....kalifornia you are absolutely stunning, what a body!

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    Either have 2 friends or go all out and see what happens.in regards to relationship.You have to decide what is more important but alsoremember you are moving away.My choice is friends.Steve

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Well I think that regret is hard to live with so you should say something in a respectful way and then leave the ball in there court It would be terrible to move away and it always be one of those things you always thought what if ! The worst that can happen is they never speak to you again , but if your that good friends and its done in a respectable way I can't see that happening . And if they do there not that good friends and don't want the best for you really ! At the end of the day you have to live with yourself and your own thoughts , and I know I don't what to regret a thing ! Xx mrs cs - Posted from rhpmobile

  • smo669

    smo669

    11 years ago

    Go for the threesome option, two sisters would be hot.... Or bonk them both on consecutive evenings and see who is most passionate. As your leaving, you have nothing to lose and two fun encounters to gain. Sweet memories!!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Been in your shoes and still friends with both. The older sister asked me why i didn't act on making a move since we get on like a house on fire emotionally, and the younger one would flirt and ask why I wouldn't take her to bed. What did I do? Decided to pursue complete other girls and keep the friendships. I said to both I respect what we already have too much to fuck it up and lose you for good. Case closed. Both are now dating others and I'm like their older brother. Your advantage is your leaving, but keep your dick in your pants and concentrate on other girls. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The younger sister has moved on... her interest was fleeting and I think you did the right thing by playing it down and not causing a 3-way issue and possible rift between sisters. You will have to deal with your feelings for the younger one but I would suggest you pack that in you bag and worry about it once you have moved. You'll probably find that the feelings will abate with the distance, time and as you meet new people. Let sleeping dogs lie in this instance. As for the older sister, whilst the kiss was during a less than sober time you both have some feelings obviously and thus the alcohol broke down the barriers. You owe it to both her and yourself to ensure that you both are clear on your feelings towards each other before you move (leave the younger sister out of the discussion) so that IF the older sister truly feels something more for you then you can help her, and yourself, deal with it before introducing the moving away factor and leaving her feeling empty and possibly depressed further (on top of the age and children thing). Be honest with yourself, communicate where needed and empathise. Do/say nothing to damage the sisters relationship with each other. Just my 2 cents worth... which rounded down ain't much ;) SG

  • blkcapricornday

    blkcapricornday

    11 years ago

    Some fantastic advice! Thanks for taking the time to put your perspectives down, appreciate it!