M58

Man Rules

May 02 2013

While I dont or cant take credit for writting this (i saw it on facebook) I did however find it funny, feel free to add to it tho MAN RULESAT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWNFINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDENOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDETHESE ARE OUR RULES!PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!JUST SAY IT!1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Nothing to say! - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

Pumpkin is indeed a fruit.

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RHP User

12 years ago

is a mixture of pink and purple,which is a mixture of red and blue,mauve is often called lilac which is a tree or a bush. Billy Connelly often dyes his beard purple,not sure if his bush is lilac though.

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RHP User

12 years ago

I could so do with a few more clothes and a lot more shoes! Foxy

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RHP User

12 years ago

we are sometimes like that. Does this mean we are women????

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RHP User

12 years ago

too many rules! lol.

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RHP User

12 years ago

.

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RHP User

12 years ago

I actually agree with most of these. Never have I asked a man if I looked fat in something, nor what he was thinking. I would never take a poor bloke shopping with me. And I don't give hints. People have always told me I think like a guy, and I do. But I do cry. Man up and deal with it. Oh, and you do need directions. I mean c'mon!

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RHP User

12 years ago

Columbus found America by accident and thought it was India, right? I won't even mention the fact the Vikings had found it at least five centuries earlier. Obviously they weren't afraid to ask someone.

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inspirit

12 years ago

Girl rule #1. The female makes the rules. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. No male can possibly know all the rules. If the female suspects the male knows the rules, she must immediately change the rules. The female is never wrong. If the female is mistaken, it is a direct result of something the male did or said wrong. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding. The female may change her mind at any time. The male must never change his mind without the written consent of the female. The female has the right to be upset or angry at any time. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry and/or upset. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void. The male is expected to mind read constantly and act accordingly. Any attempt to document the rules could result in actual bodily harm. The male who doesn’t abide by the rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a whimp.

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RHP User

12 years ago

I don't need to say anything ... GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

I got married once.... When we were going to the reception... I took my strides off..and said to the new wife.. "Chuck these on love, and lets go.." She said "No one am I wearing your pants..." I said "Exactley hunnii.. I love you to death.., but I wear the pants in this relationship.. Remember that!, and we will get along fine" We did the marriage thing.. had a fckn ball... Afterwards, we go back to our honeymoon suite... She is undressing for me.. Oh My Fckn god.... she looked HOT HOT HOT... Finally.. she removes her TINY knickers..and throws them to me... "Hunnii" She said... "Humour me... Put these on and show me..." I looked at them..and said... "WTF??.. I can't get into these...." She snapped back... "Fckn EXACTLY you can't.... AND untill you change your fckn attitude, you NEVER WILL!!!"

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RHP User

12 years ago

Quoting 'inspirit' Girl rule #1. The female makes the rules. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. No male can possibly know all the rules. If the female suspects the male knows the rules, she must immediately change the rules. The female is never wrong. If the female is mistaken, it is a direct result of something the male did or said wrong. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding. The female may change her mind at any time. The male must never change his mind without the written consent of the female. The female has the right to be upset or angry at any time. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry and/or upset. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void. The male is expected to mind read constantly and act accordingly. Any attempt to document the rules could result in actual bodily harm. The male who doesn’t abide by the rules can’t take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a whimp. FOXY

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sweetgem

12 years ago

I saw this in one of those forwarding emails years ago at work, couldn't stop laughing until my boss almost walk over to my desk lolMind you, there are men who buy and own too many clothes, accessories and shoes too, and I just happen to know several male friends who have more clothes, accessories and shoes than I own.

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RHP User

12 years ago

That was deep Cavey ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

12 years ago

recalcitrant. I don't do rules.

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inspirit

12 years ago

..come on now.......only because you like to be punished my Master

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captainkaos

12 years ago

I have a shocking memory so I love the bit about all comments being null and void after 7 days......... lol.

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