F37
Married or not... Be honest FFS
February 04 2016
Comments
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Are we at the point where it's now necessary for some kind of proof of separation? If the guy wanted a mistress couldn't he just have said so? Also regarding the wifes behaviour what can you expect? She's in pain and lashing out at everyone involved. You're correct about being misled youself and this is where things get in to the grey area where diminishing trust diminishes itself further. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
It's not just men on here. It's women too! There are many reason why they mislead others. I really like the honesty on here, when someone does admit they are married, without partners permission. Still ethically and morally wrong. However it does give a reader a choice. Where someone who says they are single (but married) is removing that choice. PS- sometimes one might be separated (single status) at the time of writing profile (cause they want to feel needed and wanted) and then next minute they get back with partner. Unless you and the man had that conversation (big C), both of you are free to do want you want to do and see who ever. Did you have that conversation OP??? Ms Foxy
-
MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
She was betrayed. The man in question most likely couldn't handle the guilt either. Who knows what he's saying to her?? However he has a right to his privacy too... All those involved in a situation of an affair/cheating, always always get hurt, not just one person. That's as honest as I can get. 😉😊 Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I know a few men on here who have secret lives. One man I chatted to ,and had coffee with ,a lawyer,would leave home early in the morning to visit....his words..his "mistress". I asked him why if he was so happily married ,lovely wife.good sex life , he needed to do this ,he responded that he was bored with his uber conventional life and the risk was part of the attraction .He was not very respectful when talking about his "mistresses" either..they were just a fuck it seems..he was not who I thought he was and so I cut off all contact with him.. I gave him no explanation,just silence x xFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I was seeing a lovely guy for a few months, not from here. We met through work . And because I'm a shift worker and most of our together time was during the day, I never noticed anything untowards. There was never any excuses from him that he couldn't meet up as he had his own business and worked the hours that suited him. Eventually he came clean and told me and I was floored. He somehow justified it to himself in as he wasn't married, just a in a lifelong defacto relationship with a woman and they had, at that time, a 8 year child together. I lost my shit. I had no idea and was humiliated and hurt and it took me months to get over . Now I do have major trust issues. I was fortunate enough that his guilt was over riding and he told me. I never suspected and I'm glad that I only had invested a few months of my time in the relationship, however the feelings were real and I was really falling for the guy believing we had something happening. So yes to either sex contemplating playing behind their partners ,think it through. I'm not judging you and I did listen to my former lovers reasons for playing up which in my opinion were far from being justifiable reasons but I did understand some of his motives and actions , but please have the integrity to state the true nature of your relationship status. Let your potential meet/play mate etc make informed decisions. If I had known I would never have gotten involved and to this day I do still feel for his partner. I still see this guy sometimes through work and he is still with his partner. He told me that he had sorted his shit out and his playing around had taught him a few things about himself and his relationship. I told him I'm so glad my heartbreak worked for him.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It will continue. People are always going to cheat. I can understand in some circumstances, e.g. where a partner has told the other that sex is going to be non existent from now on. I couldnt live without sex, but I would be upfront about seeking it elsewhere. Its not the honest ones, as you say, but the ones who have single on their profiles when they are not. Ive seen so much of it on here that if I meet someone who blows me away, I would seriously talk about the relationship being open, Honesty means no one gets hurt. Any of my male friends could have been in relationships when I was seeing them, as I dont ask them about their private lives Id like to think my gut feeling would tell me. I just have to believe that they are single if they tell me so and there are no signs of them being otherwise? Online sites are making it easier, I just hope that the dishonest guys and girls who are cheating on unsuspecting partners realise what damage could be done if they are found out. But I suspect selfish desires wont let them think about that. Ive been there and its horrible.
-
compressor
9 years ago
I must say my profile is honest
-
RHP User
9 years ago
To those saying... Oh what did you expect? The wife was in pain.... I felt so awful when I found out that they were happily married. She contacted me and was so upset and angry, as was I. I ended up telling her everything after he continued to try to contact me and tell me he was "dealing with her". I felt she had the right to know that he was living a secret life with me and telling me the divorce would go through soon. I'm not asking for proof, just wish that I could trust what a profile reads. Thank you for your responses fellow forum dwellers 😊✌🏻️ - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
We had the Big C ... He told me he loved me... That we were in a relationship. There was no love at home anymore, hence the separation. I was hurt... But I didn't ever fall in love with him... It was hard to when he lived on the other side of the country. And he had no intention of moving to me Due to his daughter. I was realistic but I still had feelings for him and thoughts I could trust him. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Selfish people don't care about others feelings. It's about their gratification and they can justify it to themselves however they like. Simple fact of the matter is if you are cheating on your other half then you are a coward. Have the courage to tell them and let them make the decision on how the relationship progresses. I've never once cheated on Mrs3 and now we share an open relationship simply because thats how our relationship evolved. It didn't take one of us sneaking around behind the others back playing up and getting caught to get to that stage. We're open because we DO trust each other to make the right judgements.
-
lovman8
9 years ago
........but there is no justification for not being honest about your relationship status on here. There is many married men on here ( I'm one of them) for all sorts of different reasons, and some of them obviously feel they can justify cheating on their partner. Personally I think its preferable to be honest in your profile about your relationship and also to be honest with your partner about your participation on rhp. People are then free to make up their own minds about whether to be involved or not and to what extent and the likelyhood of people becoming hurt or outraged is negated.
-
Twisted_Mister
9 years ago
I can hold my hands up pretty well, but the last thing I need is to be confronted by someone's furious husband/boyfriend who found out about my lady and our rendezvous..... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
when the other woman is blamed when she didn't know.. I've been in the position and the other woman didn't know he was taken .. i was hurting but i didn't go off at her - she wasn't to know and she doesn't have the responsibility to my relationship HE did! Sorry you went though that cherry :(
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Wouldnt it be easier to be honest here, so you only have to lie to one person?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Not condoning it. But being honest here will attract like minded people who dont mind if you are attached
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Some years ago, I was working a minesite a couple hundred kays from Perth, and ended up in a "Minesite Relationship" with a woman there..One break, we both drove to Perth on our R&R, and first afternoon walking over "Horseshoe Bridge" in town, I heard a call."Hey (My REAL name)"I turned around.. and following me was my Legal Wife..I said.."Oh Hello Lee!!""Lee, this is my Girlfriend Jeanelle... Jeanelle, this is my wife Lee"Jeanelle shit herself...A poor fella sitting on a seat eating a burger - choked on the burger, and nearly fell off the seat..Lee just smiled... shook her head.. then took Jeanelle's hand and said.."Jesus.. IGNORE his shit... pleased to meet you..""Honesty CAN be so much fun.....".
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It's a real shame that life is not fair, although I wish it was. My advice to myself, toughen up and roll with the punches. Better to find out that someone is a lying cheating hound after a month or two than to invest a decade or two of your life into the relationship and then find out. I have also learned from online dating that everyone is not as honorable, or has the same sense of integrity as I would like them to have. That's life though. That said, my quota of investing in someone emotionally these days is around the 0.0001% until I get to know them. Frankly, trust is something that is earned over time. The men and women (yes, the female species does this also) who cavort, and tango in secret (while their faithful loved one tends to the cinders at home) are what I call 'players' they take a perverse, secret pleasure in winding someone up and playing with their head, and usually their heart. I just finished reading a book on this very subject, the main protagonist's attitude was, she's a chick, I leave town in a week never to return, she'll get over it. They all do eventually. My head kind of says, how do you know she 'gets over it'? How do you know she didn't really 'fall for you?' It was a good read, the book was 'Deeper Water' by Jessie Cole. I'm kind of suspecting some women might have the same cavalier attitude, but I'm not out dating women, so I can't say for certain.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
...that we can't count on others to live to the same moral values that we might. Or, more to the point, that we can't see those differences without having to learn them the long way. It's not even about who's right or wrong...it's just that many people place little or no value on the feelings of others. It's considered good and right to be considerate of ones mother, sister or daughter...for example...but who cares about the feelings of a stranger? Are they less deserving of human respect? Where do these values start...and where will they end? Well, we know where they end at their most extreme, and that's in the human monsters that walk among us...pretending to be like you and me. There's a darkness in most people unfortunately.
-
sweetgem
9 years ago
How to put a cautious wall up to protect yourself after this experience cherrylips13. It is frustrating and scary to be contacted and slashed by the angry wife/partner, but you will improve on your screening process from now on. The same thing had happened to me a couple of times in my 20s, where I was lied to about the men's relationship status and was approached by their partners! With one even called me in the early morning, while I was still sound asleep, and cried over the phone and begged me to leave him, while my head was still trying to wake up from the shock! I told the partner that I didn't know he wasn't single, as he had his status as single, but promised her that I would kick his sorry arse out of my sight! Another one sent me a text message saying that her boyfriend was a cheater and I was not the first person he had lied to. Although, the woman seemed polite in her message, I somehow got the threatening scare from reading her text and assured the woman that she would never see my number come up in his phone again! I must say, I was fortunate that I didn't get physically hurt by the partners on both encounters. So, I learned my lessons (even though it wasn't my fault that I got lied to) and went offline until my previous life ended. This is why nowadays I have zero interest in hooking up with an attached/married man, even if he's being honest about his relationship status! However, I still receive flirt messages from married men occasionally, which I have zero tolerance for their disrespectful action where they just ignore my selection criteria and I will block without sending a reply back! Liars like this do not deserve my respect! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Human monsters? Bit extreme isn't it?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
people are cunts..... People are cunts, because they can be cunts....it's not really their fault, it's like an impulse buy at the local retail therapist really. It's like handing a child a lollipop and saying "you can only suck half of it". You know full well that the kid is going to devour the whole diabetes stick....and....you know too well they'll want another.... Adults are really no different.... We are all selfish....... How many times have we claimed that extra night on our tax?? Or a lunch that we've had not for business?? How many times have we read about those who have cheated the government whilst on the dole?? You get my drift.... It's just not limited to our personal relationships.... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
we can't protect ourselves completely from cunts.... All we can do is choose how we react when it's US that is sucked into a cunts act..... I've said it before....forgiveness is key....forgive yourself for the ignorance that you had no choice in accepting.... And I believe that was a wise lady that told me that....I just wish I could remember who it was lol - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
we can't protect ourselves completely from cunts.... All we can do is choose how we react when it's US that is sucked into a cunts act..... I've said it before....forgiveness is key....forgive yourself for the ignorance that you had no choice in accepting.... And I believe that was a wise lady that told me that....I just wish I could remember who it was lol - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
😂😂😂
-
RHP User
9 years ago
My profile says divorced though it's in the legal just yet with that door closed forever Also agree with Stirry a little except I also say there are down rite Pricks out there as well - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Ya dick'ead ......
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Human monsters? Bit extreme isn't it? ...that's at the extreme end of the scale. Closer to our end of it are arseholes...male and female...who don't care about other people. There's plenty like that. They have no empathy. I like to think I don't even register on that scale...I don't deliberately hurt other people.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I may be a bit harsh but to me there is never any right or reason for cheating, as adults we should know how to communicate and understand consequences. What I truly don't understand is how partners have a go at the person who happened to be on the receiving end of a cheater forgetting that the one they should be able to trust is the real asshole.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Too tall, too short, too young, too old, too far away. too married... Relationship status is also another screening tool used to point us in our preferred RHP direction. The advantages of openly stating your actual relationship status is that you will attract "like minded people" that are on the same RHP page and, in all probability, avoid the "negative stuff". The "negative stuff" is as per often voiced by fellow Pies, and whilst these expressed opinions and experiences should not be vilified and certainly not discounted, they are just one side of the RHP coin. The forums are rich and diverse and full of people who will flirt, tease, cavort and otherwise interact with others regardless of their relationship status. They might not necessarily bonk them, but there may also be other reasons besides that. At least give fellow Pies the chance to decide either way. Be upfront, you will save yourselves and your fellow Pies a lot of hassle. And who knows, you might just have a good time here as well!
-
Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Who you calling a wise old lady, Biatch!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I was wondering who it was that was smelling like mothballs lol :p - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
With some men is they're pissed off the attached guys get action and they don't. But then, when you're sleezy and repulsive, what do they expect?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I know of at least one who had a married fuck buddy, but comes on here to act all moral? 😯
-
RHP User
9 years ago
quoting I_touch_myself2 "And I know of at least one who had a married fuck buddy, but comes on here to act all moral? 😯" Since when did ones morals deplete if someone has a married lover?? If it's a dynamic between consenting adults what does it matter?? Sounds to me they chose a married person over you and now you're all bent out of shape about it..... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I have just confirmed that someone I was involved with on and off for 18 months is not only married but living with his wife. I had my suspicions but only had it confirmed in an angry message from him when I questioned another woman on another site whom he is also currently seeing and is telling her that he is single. I wish he had been honest from the start so I could make my own mind up as to whether I wanted to continue seeing him (it would have been a no). Threats have been forthcoming from him and it has now turned quite ugly. I have no intention of advising his wife, I think she will find out in due course. Meanwhile he continues to meet women on this and other sites as a single man. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
stick to what you know.. facts , not what some old sheila told youyour taxation and relationship advise rate at about equalif your powering down the motorwayas a professional driver you know better than divert your attention to a computer screen - yesif that cunt happened to hit someone that would be catastrophic forgiveness is the key?ask me for forgiveness for that pricks ignorance ..same deal
-
RHP User
9 years ago
you're most welcome :) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
PurePeony
9 years ago
Quoting 'RedRidingHood7' I have just confirmed that someone I was involved with on and off for 18 months is not only married but living with his wife. I had my suspicions but only had it confirmed in an angry message from him when I questioned another woman on another site whom he is also currently seeing and is telling her that he is single. I wish he had been honest from the start so I could make my own mind up as to whether I wanted to continue seeing him (it would have been a no). Threats have been forthcoming from him and it has now turned quite ugly. I have no intention of advising his wife, I think she will find out in due course. Meanwhile he continues to meet women on this and other sites as a single man. - Posted from rhpmobile ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Oh my gosh! That is a nightmare! He is a disgusting prick! I'm starting to be a bit paranoid now, after hearing all these stories about married men who pretend to be single!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Is my favourite excuse "oh but in my mind we are separated " 😳xxFreya
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Or, as I was informed, "We are separated but still living in the same house for financial reasons". I was caught out once, only knew about the other half when they walked into the same bar as me and my friends one Sunday afternoon. Luckily we had only met for drinks but we had planned to meet up again. He was so plausible that Im very wary now. He texted me later with "Sorry about earlier...its complicated"
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I wish I could say Karma will smack him down one day.. But seems like he may have used me and others to just get the attention he craves from his wife. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but social media shows a loved up couple. Like he didn't have an affair with me for a year... Like he didn't pay men to sleep with when he was in Sydney and I wasn't available. I'm happy that the wife seems to be ok now... But I just wish karma would be applied to him after all the pain he's caused along the way. Anyways... I know I shouldn't care.. Move on... Blah blah... 😑✌🏻️ - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I am, and have been single for several years now, by choice I might add. But it never ceases to amaze me how many women when first talking to them assume that I "must be taken". While I can see the complimentary side of this, I also see the "what more do I have to say" factor as well ? So attractive single women can be single, but guy considered attractive by some females MUST be taken ??? DO you see the different ways of thinking ?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Great thread! Those of you that have met us know that we're happily married, deeply in love and in a non-monogamous (open) relationship. We're very secure with this and very happy to share ourselves about. So why is it that some single people we approach say they don't want to get casually involved with a married person who is in a non-monogamous relationship? Are they looking for more than they say and are wanting to get serious with someone? Are they looking for love in all the wrong places (sorry to put that song in your heads)? Subsequently our preference is to see people in a similar situation to ours. Long term, non-monogamous relationships. These people typically get it. (NOTE: We have and do see some singles. Some of these amazing people get it too) As for lying - why lie? If you're looking to cheat; look at yourself first. Why are you cheating? Why do you want to be dishonest? Why do you want to hurt the person you love AND the person you're cheating with? If your relationship is that bad that you want to do all that, get out of it. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
It would be quite unusual for an attached guy playing at being single, to openly have their face as their profile pic. And I would reiterate that to a woman who doubts you
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Its more about the married person who's profile states single and they pretend to be single that I dont respect in any way. At least the ones stating they are married but their spouse doesnt know are giving you honest info to make up your own mind weather to get involved. In answering your question about why singles are hesitant in getting invovled with someone in an open relationship, I can only answer for my own experiences, which was the time restrictions and no overnighters. But I did meet some lovely people in open relationships.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
One of my favourite and most trusted couples(and friends) that have an open relationship recently divulged to me that Mr quite often states single on dating sites. They have explained to me that even though Mrs is more than happy to talk to any potentials about their open relationship, it seems women can be quite precious and can't handle a significant other. My honest moral code has had me questioning their decision.... but at the end of the day it's their life and up to them to do what works for them. It's just sad that they need to resort to these methods to live the life they want, as people simply do not understand the nature of an open relationship!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' It's just sad that they need to resort to these methods to live the life they want, as people simply do not understand the nature of an open relationship! I understand open relationships perfectly well, but I still don't want to play with a guy that's in one. There are a few reasons for that, none of which have anything to do with being ''precious''. Yeah sure they're living the life they want....what about the women they are deceiving and their right to the life they want, and to have their preferences respected? Your friends have a very entitled and disrespectful attitude, IMO.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Im not here for one off shags, I like to have a FWB situation. Which means spending some time together now and again, e.g. dinner, drinks, or just being in each others company as a prelude to sex. It just (to me) makes the sex a lot better if I know someone. So I dont want to be organising my precious free time around someone to be told "Oh sorry, the wife needs a lift into the city" or "We have unexpected visitors" etc etc. Being with someone who continually checks his phone and/or watch isnt for me. So thats why I wont see married guys, whether they are in an open relationship or not. Its nice that you have met people who "get it" though. I would just rather spend my time with someone who is 100% with me and getting me.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Willow didn't read the last two paragraphs. Kokoflamigo is the type discussed in the fourth paragraph. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I'm curious to know what the reasons for not playing (in this case) with a male in an open relationship is? How are they any different from an unattached man, if the relationship is happily open?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Hi Fellow Redhotpies,I'm a married man and are nothing but honest about it. Yes I am lying to my wife when I say yes darling everything is ok but isn't that my choice. I don't feel good about it from time to time but us guys also cravea little affection as well. I think that at least here on RHP we can be totally up front about our situation and maybe meet some that's in the same boat so to speak. Please remember that we are not at the pub wasting time and money trying to pick up we are where we belong. We are at home supporting our family helping with kids and household being a husband and a loving father.So to all you guys and ladies out there lying about it, change your ways and tell the truth.There are quite a lot of people like me out there and we are not monsters we just need to know were not alone.One more thing if you have ask me on your profile about your relationship status change it to the truth. Cheers Funlovenfun
-
RHP User
9 years ago
because to put it bluntly.... A single woman seeking a male isn't necessarily wanting the relationship(irrespective of label/openness) to stay stagnant.... I'm not saying that she will want to develop that into a relationship of monogamy....there are ladies that only want the sex.... But that's what screening processes are for....to filter out those who are not compatible with our own desires, etc....instead of choosing just any vagina to empty our balls in. I'm sure the ladies though will elaborate on it themselves ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Like I said in my last post, from personal experience, seeing someone from an open relationship was very limiting in having certain windows of time to get together. Although I was only seeing him, with his wifes permission, as I had to chat with her on the phone so she could put a few of her rules into play. Oh and another one I spent some time with would have his wife texting him throughout the evening.God forbid if he had turned his phone off. Another guy from an open marriage took me to my first ever swingers party,and the wife was texting me and asking how it was going.Yes it was a time in my life that I didnt want any emotional connection with a guy, but it was 3 people involved in the hookups, even if only 2 were there. Bare037,you asked. Just my personal experience
-
RHP User
9 years ago
If only men would communicate to their partners about the sexual their needs and wants etc instead of sneaking around and living another life because they think its easier than comnunicating they would see that being honest and talking about everything with their partner is defintely easier, even if it seems hard at the time.. Of course the women in these relationships/marriages need to also communicate and be honest and stop using sex as some sort of punishment.....dont think for one moment ladies that punishing your man by not giving him any sex isnt going to affect him at all as he can just go elsewhere and get it. If you really dont want to be intimate with your partners/husbands anymore then give him the permission to go elsewhere or stop blaming the OTHER WOMAN for being a home wrecker but instead take a long hard look at yourselves and your other half. Love and Lust are two very different things and when you manage to get your head around it your relationship will be more harmonious
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you for the character analysis but.....all Im looking for is respect. Someone who enjoys my company and makes some time for me. Not someone who is stroking a selfish ego and comes with ground rules. Not too much to ask on a casual dating site I dont think. Maybe there should be a category " single looking for attached"?
-
MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
That sometimes people look down on others (meaning those who are in open relationships, married and single whatever) with opposing relationship statuses, as a way to feel better about their own. This kind of judgement is really a form of defensiveness and yes does come across as envious. By this I mean couples wanting single life and singles wanting a couple relationship. So in a way I agree with countrycple when they say, if it's that bad they want to get out (meaning being in couple to go single, as they miss the single life and single wanted to be in couple status wanting that untitled front, they miss that) Ms Foxy
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I'm not sure why it's so difficult for many men to understand why a man in an open relationship is not an appealing option to many single women, and why they can't see the obvious differences with a single guy. Sure a man in an open relationship is free to have sex with other women, but he is still in a relationship and that relationship is still going to place a number of restrictions on what he can do with others. There will almost always be rules involved that the couple have made - which is of course fine for them - but I'm not interested in having to follow a heap of rules, or to have to fit in with the time constraints and other engagements that the man has with respect to his relationship, or to have to wait during a meet while the guy texts / talks with his partner to update them on how things are going and to confirm that we're not overstepping any boundaries, or to have to consider whether it's a suitable time to send him a dirty text or will I be interrupting 'couple' time. Nope, way too much hassle for me. Countrycpl - single people aren't your playthings, we don't need to change our preferences to suit what you want or think we should do, and you are a prime example of why I don't meet with couples anymore.
-
PurePeony
9 years ago
... can easily opt for the services of escorts. That way, they get to have sex with someone other than their wife, and there is no need to deceive / lie and drag an unwilling innocent party into the complication. Oh, but wait... there's the issue of tightwads...
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Is it not obvious that one type does not fit all ? We don't choose the same fragrances, clothing, cars or religion. Some live by the sea, some inland, some on mountaintops. We are diverse, that is our strength, it applies not just to biology but social structures as well, it gives humanity another path if one should be blocked off. It must work, we outbreed rabbits. It doesn't matter what type of society you live in there will be renegades, it's how we work. Get over it. This is an adult site so use your adult skills to negotiate it. It's diversity is what makes it exciting.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PurePeony' ... can easily opt for the services of escorts. That way, they get to have sex with someone other than their wife, and there is no need to deceive / lie and drag an unwilling innocent party into the complication. Oh, but wait... there's the issue of tightwads... Believe it or not but there are quite a few women who use men as free escorts as well, no strings, no hassle, no neediness, and marrieds and open relationship people fit that bill perfectly. All part of the human soup.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
The late Robin Williams said it best; Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that's going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks. Robin Williams Playing Adrian Cronauer in Good Morning, Vietnam
-
RHP User
9 years ago
we all have differing points of view and thats that. We're in an open relationship and don't put any constraints in place. Why you'd want to text your other half while they're out with someone else is beyond me. Then again, mrs3 is friendly with most of the women I've slept with and remain friends with. I personally don't see why everyone has to put so much stress on having fun. I'm free to attend swingers clubs, go to the movies, out for dinner or any other activity with a FWB, as is mrs3. I thought thats what a FWB was. Someone you can hang with and go places with, as well as get busy under the sheets. Not spend every moment in each others arms and personal space. I understand the part where you say you don't want to have to wait for him to make time etc, but isn't that the same as most FWB's? You are friends, but not the main priority in each others lives or you may as well be in a relationship? I'm by know means dismissing your argument, I can see why most women don't want to be in a FWB relationship with a married man in an open relationship. Each to their own I say. The women who are just after companionship, fun nights out, good times and sex without the constraints of a relationship will always be round. As will the men. Those who don't wish to, more power to them. That's their right and I wish them all the best in their search wherever it may lead.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'DrippingInKink' I am, and have been single for several years now, by choice I might add. But it never ceases to amaze me how many women when first talking to them assume that I "must be taken". While I can see the complimentary side of this, I also see the "what more do I have to say" factor as well ? So attractive single women can be single, but guy considered attractive by some females MUST be taken ??? DO you see the different ways of thinking ? Yes well i have the same problem i have on my profile single and that is what i am and have been for years its the way i like it and i dont dip my cock into any thing either i am very clean person
-
RHP User
9 years ago
You're spot on girl 😉 And welcome back again 😃__👍 I've always enjoyed your posts and replies. You've always been a positive person on these RHP forums and I respect you for your great contributions when you were on here last.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
A friend of mine took me to Modo Mio for dinner. Cocktails beforehand. Orderd Tattinger Champagne with dinner because he knows I like champers. Two nights later, he asked me if I would like to go to dinner and a show before he went back to work. So we went out for dinner then went to one of the shows at the Fringe. He gave me another bottle of Champers to take home with me. Apart from the way he treated me, he was great company and is a genuinely lovely guy. He just wanted to spoil me. Now, if he was married, which he isnt, I dont think I would be very happy if I was the wife sitting at home while the FWB was given such a great time.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Kokoflamingo' A friend of mine took me to Modo Mio for dinner. Cocktails beforehand. Orderd Tattinger Champagne with dinner because he knows I like champers. Two nights later, he asked me if I would like to go to dinner and a show before he went back to work. So we went out for dinner then went to one of the shows at the Fringe. He gave me another bottle of Champers to take home with me. Apart from the way he treated me, he was great company and is a genuinely lovely guy. He just wanted to spoil me. Now, if he was married, which he isnt, I dont think I would be very happy if I was the wife sitting at home while the FWB was given such a great time. And that I guess is why you're not in an open relationship. If you can't be happy because your partner is out with another person then that's your perogative. Has nothing to do with anybody else and how they chose to live their lives. I for one would be happy my partners having a good time. Different strokes for different folks. Some people just don't get it, and never will. Jealousy is not a good look, unfortunately it is all true prevalent these days.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Been busy, haven't had a chance to respond to your earlier comment. Few things wrong with your theory. Firstly I'm of course not overlooked, secondly I AM married (so maybe I'm one of those 'cunts' you were referring to? I wonder if other people found that comment as offensive as I did?) and thirdly, well that'll do for now. Thank you for your thoughts though, insightful and timely as always 👍😁
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I did reply once... I was looking for some guidAnce... Help? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I was referring to Willows post about being out with her friend and the wife texting all the time. It shows that some couples are indeed, not so secure about the open relationship status. I would not be jealous if I opted for an open relationship and my partner took someone out on the town and wine and dined them, more wondering why I didnt receive the same treatment? Anyway, Im done, the Couples V Singles thing is ridiculous and we all live our lives exactly how we want to, end of as far as Im concerned....
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Yuck, god no, that thought makes me feel ill. I haven't fucked anyone from within this topic, and of course you know I can't give any more detail. In relation to my stutus, I haven't lied to anyone about it but have had it displayed differently at various times. Separated but still officially married, not quite null & void 😉 Anything else you're curious about, let me know, thanks 😀
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Was never any interest in that way which I made clear, so this is not a sour grapes thing, at least not from my end. But why come into a topic like this, leaving out leading or important bits about their own choices, hate people who make it up as they go along, or lie by ommission. How do you feel about that?
-
sweetgem
9 years ago
Although, I am not seeking a serious and monogamous relationship on RHP, I would still love to have some sleepover nights with a companion, preferably more than once a month and on regular basis. In all honesty, at my age and after being single for half a decade, I frankly would love to settle down in a monogamous relationship again, but I cannot yet have that due to my home situation and it's by choice that I remain single to date. However, I do miss having the company of a man and miss getting pampered and intimate with him, etc. Therefore, I am on here seeking a companion to share those special quality times with whenever opportunity presents and by that, I don't just mean a few hours get together and then we kiss goodbye until next time. I actually mean spend half a day and a full night together until the next morning type of arrangement. Hence, I highly doubt that a man in an open relationship can give me that, especially with the overnight sleepover arrangement. Maybe there are truly non-jealous wives out there who don't care at all with their husbands not coming home to sleep on an ongoing basis, I just haven't heard of them yet and doubt there are any existed! So, this is the big difference between a single man and a man in an open relationship, in my book! Hope my response answers your question Bare037 and I am only speaking for myself and from my own experiences. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I personally don't care what they have displayed on their profile for status, though if they're honest with me in their first message, then the choice is there for the individual. If they have 'ask me', I don't personally care (but do in conjunction with other factors) but stating single when they're not, is not fair to people who do care, removes the choice and places those people in a situation they shouldn't end up in, so not cool 👎
-
sweetgem
9 years ago
Hope the girlfriend didn't take out her own insecurity and jealousy on you at the end. It's just too complicated to get involved with an attached/married man in my own experience, been there done that and I definitely am deserved more than being a "side dish"! 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
I think the key to any relationship is honesty. I've been involved in relationships before that DIDN'T have this as their core focus, and they ended up going horribly wrong, for a great many people involved. Personally, I don't mind if a person I am considering exploring a connection with is married or not. I DO mind if their significant other doesn't know about it. I've had some interesting conversations with people from RHP who have been in relationships, married or otherwise, and the open and honest communication they have had with their significant others has been really impressive. One of these couples really inspired me, and their relationship was something that I used as an inspiration for the kind of relationship I wanted - and, ultimately, one of the reasons I finally made the decision to get out of my marriage. I understand why people may want to avoid getting involved with married people - it's a personal choice. But I don't think it's fair to assume that all married people have the same intentions, and the same desire to deceive people.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PatchworkGirl' I think the key to any relationship is honesty. I've been involved in relationships before that DIDN'T have this as their core focus, and they ended up going horribly wrong, for a great many people involved. Personally, I don't mind if a person I am considering exploring a connection with is married or not. I DO mind if their significant other doesn't know about it. I've had some interesting conversations with people from RHP who have been in relationships, married or otherwise, and the open and honest communication they have had with their significant others has been really impressive. One of these couples really inspired me, and their relationship was something that I used as an inspiration for the kind of relationship I wanted - and, ultimately, one of the reasons I finally made the decision to get out of my marriage. I understand why people may want to avoid getting involved with married people - it's a personal choice. But I don't think it's fair to assume that all married people have the same intentions, and the same desire to deceive people. Couldn't have put it better myself.
-
PatchworkGirl
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Not like this gent, who is open about his marital status on his profile, but then says this: "Will you be my sensual discreet sexy side dish?" 😒 Yeah, they are the ones I just skip over too ... "married" isn't a definite no from me. But married and "let's keep it a secret, I can meet during the day" etc etc? No thank you. And I'm no-one's side dish - I much prefer to be someone's entree, main course and dessert, thank you very much!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Not like this gent, who is open about his marital status on his profile, but then says this: "Will you be my sensual discreet sexy side dish?" 😒 When your not checking photos for fakes or blowing them up to look for wedding rings you search for things to ridicule ? Nice.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I believe in honesty and if you read my profile it's all there up front. Though being married and in an open relationship is a bit of a handicap on here because most women avoid you like the plague. I can see why some lie to get around that but I can't condone that sort of behaviour, it's totally short sighted and disrespectful to both other parties, male or female. I'd rather wait for the right woman to come along that can accept my situation than lie, my wife and I do it for the excitement and fun that variety can bring rather than making up for anything missing at home. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I have wondered what happens to a persons internal dialogue, when they have to lie to get laid. "My sexual needs is more important than honesty, relationships, etc" Whatever changes that need to occur to allow someone to justify those thoughts and actions, is just something I'd want to choose not to have to get involved in. I've come across enough people in here who seem content to lie about their status, to appreciate the quagmire of trying to make that choice, Cherry. For eg: I was recently contacted by a (attached) couple. I'm not listed as being interested in couples. So I thanked them for the interest, and pointed this out. A week or so later I was contacted by a single guys profile - who was the guy from the couple. *sigh*
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'PepperRose' I have wondered what happens to a persons internal dialogue, when they have to lie to get laid. "My sexual needs is more important than honesty, relationships, etc" Whatever changes that need to occur to allow someone to justify those thoughts and actions, is just something I'd want to choose not to have to get involved in. I've come across enough people in here who seem content to lie about their status, to appreciate the quagmire of trying to make that choice, Cherry. For eg: I was recently contacted by a (attached) couple. I'm not listed as being interested in couples. So I thanked them for the interest, and pointed this out. A week or so later I was contacted by a single guys profile - who was the guy from the couple. *sigh* Just curious as to if this applies to those who lie about their age as well....or are some lies ok and others not? Just a question, as lying about ones age is still decietful if it is to get around ones preferences as discussed here.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Mr or Ms The_3somes I think that is a completely valid and a very good question - I'd be as curious to see what people think about that as you. Personally, I see it a lot - as I mainly use a muggle site, and people from here often crop up - even with the same photos, and often there is a 10 or so age difference in their profiles. As it is off topic for this thread, it might deserve its own separate discussion, no?
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Mmm ive been judged on so many aspects here ? I am divorced as she is? We can lrove this through legal papers. Rhp ask if we r single or divorced as a general question? If your recently divorced then chances r your single n thats both? Ive kept my couples profile open due to working on other side of country. I have met one couple here in remote karratha (great peeps) she maintains the old play group. So is my profile a lie? Mmm no its simply judged on others doing wrong thats all.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I responded on a similar thread a long time ago and see the same kind of responses here, years later. It's a bit sad really that I'm still here to pass comment on the topic. :( I think as a woman I have a greater advantage in being honest about my married status, even when there are some quite judgmental people who still say 'why aren't you honest with your husband? Why are you cheating on him?' As a woman my advantage lies in there still being plenty of men who won't give two hoots about my status as long as they're also getting their sexual needs met. I've been lucky enough to meet married men on this site who don't lie about their situation and others who think 'separated' translates to being able to work interstate and screw you, while still going home to the wife and kids at the weekend. These are the guys who are often so paranoid that they don't even give you their real names. You'd think it would hurt their pride a little when you're not even calling their real name in the throes of passion. From the guys' perspective, I can see that all too often, because women are often looking for more than a quick bonk, the idea of revealing their married status isn't going to be conducive to them getting laid on a regular basis. Women perceive deception and lying differently to men because to let someone physically inside your body entails placing a lot of trust in that man. If you then find out he's lied to you about his name and status, one can end up feeling quite hurt and betrayed and it ends up souring the whole experience. I may have occasionally used 'separated' in my profile because as far as I'm concerned, if there's no sex and barely any interaction between us, we may as well be just housemates. If I meet someone in person I always give them the truth about my situation up front and appreciate them doing the same. If this were a Utopian society we would all be honest with each other, but this is the real world, and in my experience people want to satisfy their lust any way they can.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Just gonna stand there and watch me cry... It's alright because... Well no it isn't. If the majority, perhaps minority, after reading all of the responses to this post, can be honest about who they are, what they want, where they want it... Why can't everyone else?? Every lie that anyone is dealt, lessons their ability to trust the next. Note to all you liars and fakes... Stop ruining this site. I love rhp for its diversity, the people, the forums... And you have to come along and ruin it. 9 years ago when I signed up... Those menu met, I'm still friends with. Today, well... If you were all a little bit more honest , maybe we'd still be in contact. Maybe I wouldn't have topics to talk about. Liars don't have any place here... Kthxbye - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Wine... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Whoops - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'Summer_solstice' Quoting 'The_3somes'Just curious as to if this applies to those who lie about their age as well....or are some lies ok and others not? Just a question, as lying about ones age is still decietful if it is to get around ones preferences as discussed here. Cheating, and lying about your relationship status, can be very damaging, and potentially result in heartbreak and devastation. However I've yet to meet anyone who was emotionally crushed because their date turned out to be 46 instead of 38, or 5'9 instead of 6'. I agree they aren't the same but when someone is lying about their age in order to get around peoples preferences then its deceitful. If a man doesn't wish to be contacted by women over 40 but a woman lies about her age and then initiates contact with him and doesn't disclose her true age then what? If, as everyone here claims, they are after an ongoing FWB type arrangement then a relationship built on a lie is all that will result. He specifically said he didn't want to be contacted by women over 40. Same as women say they don't want to be contacted by attached men. His decision should be respected just as much in my opinion. A lie is a lie is a lie in my book.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Menu/men same meaning here isnt it? 😎
-
RHP User
9 years ago
New to this , but seems that integrity is far outweighed by other factors.....Got me thinking but hope you feel better soon!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
I agree, marital status should be disclosed openly! However, when the wife contacted you or asked you what was going on you should have (in my opinion) apologized and asked her to deal with her husband. You do not know what the circumstances were, nor the real reasons for him to have an affair. You have no idea if she was perhaps using sex or denying him sex as a weapon, you don't know if she had been cheating in the same way in the past.... Maybe she has used what you have told her to retaliate during the divorce and settlement.... Nobody should come into the discussion / fight between husband and wife. It is difficult to judge as nobody here was in your shoes at the time, so I hope you don't take my opinion too negatively... If I had been in your situation, I think maybe I would have just walked away and broken it off on the spot, not have gotten involved. As you say, you had done nothing wrong as you trusted that what he said was the truth, and therefore at the same time you don't really know if what he is saying about her is the truth nor can you judge if what she is saying about him or about herself is the truth... He was wrong in not telling you the truth and hurting you, as you had the right to know. But he should have had the right and a chance to come clean or "deal with her" or with whatever the situation was by himself. Things like that happen all the time, the worse scene I remember from my parents' divorce was my mum and my father's mistress confronting each other! It just got pathetic... I remember feeling sorry for all three of them (the two women and my dad in the middle)... It is a messy situation whatever one does, I think...
-
RHP User
9 years ago
That's the problem these days! Ya can't tell if someone being honest or not over social media! It's pretty sad that both man or women have to cheat on each other, my personal apian is a relationship isn't a game so don't cheat! But as I said before not only men do it but women do it to and it's pretty sad really - Posted from rhpmobile
-
scubaboy69
9 years ago
Out having drinks with close friends and a guy on an adjacent table got talking to one of our girls. He'd taken his wedding ring off and none of us saw that. He said nothing about being married with a young child, chatted her up and left with her. A week of sex later and his wife read his e-mails on the Friday night whilst he was out with his new mistress and he got a phonecall. It was the week before Christmas.
-
Badbabe469
9 years ago
Honesty or lack of it is one of the reasons my wife (babe) is having a break from sites and meeting people off them.I think I would have a better chance at meeting people if my profile was different. If it was a "singles" profile ladies would be more interested. BUT as agreed by my partner, we are still a couple and a couples profile it will remain. SO the problem ... everyone assumes "he" is the only one having and open relationship and she is being cheated on, yeah??I cant blame people for thinking like this as its exactly what we found while playing as a couple. To the point where Babe said she would no longer do any searching on the sites as the liars and time wasters were consuming too much of her time.So what do I do? I cant be anymore honest then what I have written.... The sad part for me is since we are living a "open relationship" she has had more action then me hahahahaha. Just the other week she meet a guy while out on the town. They snuck off for a bit of a play where none of her friends would see. When rejoining the group she was asked "where you been" a bit of a white lie and told them "up stairs". Little did they know she had had an orgasm and swallowed a load. OK IMO Cheerylips - You are clear of all charges. You have been lied and cheated on too. You and his wife are victims. It will take a while but the wife should see it that way too. Sadly a lot of "men" (if you can call them that) lie and cheat. It makes it near impossible for the rest of us. Cheers Bad
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Lies always come back to hurt - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
To have the correct status. There are plenty of people who would like to explore with someone who is attached including those with high work commitments, children, globe trotters, people who don't want to share all the responsibility that comes with being in a full time relationship, others in open relationships etc. Cheating is a lose/lose situation. The act itself is bad yes. But you are not giving your partner the option of deciding what's in their best interests? You don't honour them. And you lose out too. Because who wants to be loved for only part of themselves? That's what you get when you cheat. Your partner loves you because of who they "think" you are. So not only are you ripping them off - you're ripping yourself off. All of us want to be loved as we are - not for who we pretend to be. Patch - honesty - damn straight!!!! The_3somes This is what I have but only I'm exploring. I put my 11 year marriage on the line to do it. I told him I wanted to live my life without resentment. That he was free to choose. That we didn't own each other or each others body's. That's a tiny summary but at the end of the day - he said he would rather know I stayed with him for him, than because I'd compromised a huge part of myself. As far as rules we have one only - safe sex! That's it. No phone calls and constant texting etc. Being in an open relationship is about total trust in your partner which is the complete opposite when you're cheating. Overnight stays aren't an issue - obviously there needs to be some warning. The only issue is that I might be up for a hotel room. The thing is girls go for pamper weekends, and mates go for fishing trips (sorry to generalise) and partners are fine with it. The only difference is physical intimacy. And let's face it - that amount of emotional affairs now seem to be taking over physical ones. The other thing I know for a fact is its not always about the lack of sex/quality the cheater is getting at home. Some people cheat even though they are completely satisfied with their partner. So you can't always say it's because the partner doesn't put out. In these situations I can only think of a few reasons - everything else in the relationship sucks, they crave intimacy and connection, the cheater is a pig, or they don't want the hassle of breaking up a long term relationship. They can't use the excuse that being open would hurt their partner - guess what you already are and they don't even know it. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Badbabe469
9 years ago
Quoting 'SoftandCurious' This sounds great.... but where are they all? I honestly think you are one of very few. You are the second one I know. My wife being the other.Best of luck to you I say To have the correct status. There are plenty of people who would like to explore with someone who is attached including those with high work commitments, children, globe trotters, people who don't want to share all the responsibility that comes with being in a full time relationship, others in open relationships etc.
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Well as a female it hasn't affected the attention......much like your wife. For a guy - yes it would be a lot harder, mainly because women might be more hesitant. But there are people out there! Maybe spread yourself over a few sites? Swinging is another option that might open some doors for you. Single females attend clubs all the time and there's no limit on them. If Babe is happy for you to go off into a room on your own it might be another avenue for meeting females? As much as it's made it harder for you - hopefully people will read your post! And good on you for being open and honest rather than deceiving people for your own gain! It takes balls to admit you are married on here!
-
RHP User
9 years ago
Yep married. My wife cheated on me and we have two kids together whose lives i dont want to ruin. We havent had sex for about a year. I have a high sex drive and it needs satisfying. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
9 years ago
we are NOT married but heres the twist we used to be with each other, seems we get along much better since we divorced, but rest assure no matter what is in a profile peeps will simply make judgement with there own minds
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share