F46
Meeting someone new
March 26 2015
Comments
-
Dryphuz
10 years ago
I've never thought about it before, but yes i do artificially create a sense of aloofness, by waiting. I guess i think it makes me look cool, and prevents me from looking desperate. I have however done otherwise in the past if i think she would like keenness. Sometimes you can just tell a woman would like to immediately know you're thinking about them and so i will call next day or later the same day. My actions, false bravado or not, are always to meet what i imagine her expectations to be. This may be a bad way of going about it, but its what I've been unconsciously doing up until now. Since you've made me think of it for the first time, i may do otherwise next time. Since I'm very honest, i may just say "hey when do you want me to call you next, because i have no intention of playing games unless you want me to?" Might backfire, but I'll wear that if i have to. As to first sex, whenever it feels right... If that's five minutes into the first date so be it, If its not for a couple of weeks so be that too. If its been months i may start to question the whole relationship...
-
RHP User
10 years ago
There is an unwritten code somewhere. And all it does is complicate the world, I assume it was written in the 18th century. I mean who cares if someone is perceived as being 'too eager'. I assume it is a natural defensive stance. Noone wants to be perceived as desperate, and each sex has their own reasons for why they would consider themselves 'at risk' if they come across too eager. I'd put it to those people, that if the person you are keen on needs to have their perception of you 'tweaked' by the time you take to reply to a message, than maybe they aren't that suitable in the first place? Fwiw - I am easy. No shame or remorse.
-
LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
Play time for us is too hard to find as it is, lol, we aren't interested in games. If we are all interested and we can figure out a time to meet then let's go! ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
After first time sex, i usually call out as they reach for the door handle..... "Before you go, can we go again?" Is that too soon then?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
My husband had always advised me "Don't appear too eager or desperate" by overdoing the texting or emailing thing. But do you think that I will listen ? Sadly "No" and it has been my downfall and has resulted in a previous "friendship" ending :(. But this is me and this is what I am like. It is a part of my character and I hope that anyone whose in a relationship with me will understand that. I think that it takes an "astute" man to understand me. LOL !!! The one thing that I don't do is phone the man constantly and for that I hope he is appreciative. As far as I am concerned, texting or emailing is OK because the man can reply to these in his own time. If a man can't put up with me being the way I am, then obviously we're not compatible. No one is perfect so we do have to make for allowances. Amy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Dryphuz' If its been months i may start to question the whole relationship... I wouldn't give up so soon. I've sent some messages to some lovely ladies here, some over a year ago. I'm not willing to let go of those relationships, they'll reply in their own time. They just don't want to look too keen I reckon.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
All he has to do is send me a text of our next "Date" and I'll have my overnight bag packed !!! Call me "A Desperate Housewife" !!! Amy
-
RHP User
10 years ago
This is not high school. Wtf is too easy? Will he respect me in the morning? All my life I try to get away from this antiquated double standard shit. RSVP is the place forbthe keep my knees shut till he commits. Not here. The reality cheque is in the mail. I see, I like I fuck. The kiss principal I never call a guy after sex. If he wants sex again I am sure he will let me know. If he texts after and says that was nice, I will say thanks and will reply if he wants a chat. Who needs a post coital pen friend. It's up to you what you do but playing coy or not that kind of girl, is bloody lame in a sex site. You do not get used by men, you decide if you open your legs and to whom. What they think about you after. Really does not matter if a guy Fucks , you and thinks you a cheap slut after the event then more fool him. Let him just crawl back to that nice girl cunt that bored him to tears. So graduate from high school sexual behaviour and go to the "open legs university. " - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Throw away that execrable tome called The Rules..just be yourself.dont over think it..but don't be a neurotic pest either xxFreya
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I hate the game players, not answering messages for a couple of days to "keep me on the hook" fuck off I'm gone. What Freya said.
-
ruby_blossum
10 years ago
they are about the games I like to play. If I like someone, I will tell them. What they do with that honest information is up to them. If they try to play games with me.....forget it. Open honest communication all the way for me thanks.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Don't look over eager, what rubbish. If i meet someone that I like and half an hour after they have left i want to call them or text hem I will. If I am worried that I look over eager then I know its not worth it. Why bother with someone that you can not be your self with. I think people that behave such as to appear not as they feel, to be aloof despite the need to want to communicate are not after the person but something more selfish. Its a form of deception and deliberate passive coercion, in my book a lie. If I scare someone off because i am over eager then it was not meant to be. A relationship, be it friendship, lovers, or something in between should be balanced. You should know if its acceptable, if you don't then its not going to be what you are wanting, or hoping. Just imagining two people that have just met and got on fabulously, now sitting waiting hoping for a call, but not to call. There is something seriously wrong with that picture. Or was the meeting a miss representation of self? I have to wonder what are people after when they act aloof? There is obviously a not connection of minds happening, why make it look like you don't care, that you are indifferent, when in fact you do care and are far from indifferent. Is it just a misguided popular belief, a way to bed someone that is not for you.. Guess I will never work out what makes many tick.
-
Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
I work on the if it feels right do it theory, I don't conform to rules, they shit me, I do what feels right at the time......💋
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Depends on how it went and how I M attracted to her... If we talked freely from politics to ducking on the bonnet of my car and everything else I between I'd say next day and judge from her reply how it went ?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
No game plan or certain rules for keeping the communication open after a first meet.when it comes to ppl I have met or played with,in retrospect, I dont send a text 5 mins after Ive left. I dont need to because we have generally spoken about seeing each other again, or said our " thanks that was great,cheers for that". I can honestly say that most of my " new friends" have chosen to stay in contact even if we dont see each other again, Its nice to get a text or a message on here months later saying "g'day how have you been,what mischief have you been up to?hope youre having fun". But I suppose Im pretty upfront with my initial approach and let people know that Im not looking for anything exclusive or relationshippy (there's a new word) so there isnt any second guessing with intensions or expectations from both sides. Im actually still in contact with the first guy I saw 18 months ago. Only saw him for a month and we moved on. But still send a message every few months to each other. And the second guy I hooked up with and became fwb's, we are now best mates and could never sleep with each other again because hes like a brother to me now.And he feels the same. We talk on the phone daily, hang out and do stuff, like go fishing or watch a movie and eat piles of junk food, but our relationship changed to one of total mateship and my confidant in all my inner most secrets. Im so blessed to have found that, while looking for other things I was searching for. So after that long ramble, No I dont have a game plan for first meets. Lol.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
and I don't like to beat around the bush so I am as honest as I can be. If there is not going to be another meeting I like to say so, but if I am excited about seeing someone again, I like to make it known that I enjoyed their company. I have found men to mostly not say anything, you just don't hear from them again for 6 weeks then all of a sudden you were a good root and worth another text for the next round. I feel I did scare one guy away from being a little over eager, funnily enough when I backed off, he came looking for me but it was too little too late, I lost the appreciation for him and a bit of respect which was a shame because things were awesome between us. I sort of get like a wave of optimism where I think, oh yeah, this is good, I would like to keep this up then the lack of momentum just kills off whatever positives I had going on and then it is like yeah whatever and then it fizzles out. I do at the moment have a special someone who is keeping things very fun and exciting, he doesn't hold back on how he is feeling or what he wants to say (all good things for now) which is very refreshing.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
my schedule isn't fabricated..... It's my job, so I'm a little confused why anyone would feel a need to fabricate anything about themselves.... As for when it is to have sex...lol well that's at OUR discretion surely?? Most of the time I wanna get to know someone quite well before ploughing her like I would the paddock.... The only secret code in my mind is the secret code of insecurity....as it seems as though that those who need a gameplan don't really have a great deal of substance that's genuine.... - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
As a Newby, I see it as a different thing added to my life (& hubby's). I need to give a considered answer to emails and texts. Sometimes we need to chat to each other, or think about logistics. Wouldn't deliberately keep someone on the hook as I'd not like that myself. Perhaps down the track, if we had a regular "boyfriend", things would be quicker, but I'm not prepared to rush it either. I think you have to make your own rules for your own comfort and hope they mix in nicely with somebody else.
-
Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Have you READ some of the emails guys send?! They can't wait to BE in your pants and forget to start with a "hello" and a little bit of banter back and forth..... They're eager alright... and outline sexual resume story (template) of what they're going to do to you and how much you're going to be driven wild for them doing it. Thats eager. hahahahaha
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You're damn fine 😍😍. Now pucker up and lay me some sugar from those jelly lips 😝
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I have rules because they work for me, not because I want to appear more appealing to someone. Waiting days to get back to a man to "keep him keen" as is advocated in the book is sheer manipulation to me, and I'm not into that. Each to their own though.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
simple...if i am keen on someone. and i have to create an "artificial aloofness" as someone put it...then don't worry about it...the whole excitement comes from wanting and being wanted...if i have to treat you mean to keep you keen...fuck it, i am moving on :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think that yes, I treat someone that I am very keen on differently to someone I am not that keen on. I am also more conscious of making a good impression on someone that I like a lot in comparison to someone I see as a casual fling. If I am interested in someone I let them know. I don't wait or muck them around. So, no games with me. I find that men don't mind booty calls initially. And then they get all girly and want to cuddle and talk after sex . Sheesh!
-
Dryphuz
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'Dryphuz' If its been months i may start to question the whole relationship... I wouldn't give up so soon. I've sent some messages to some lovely ladies here, some over a year ago. I'm not willing to let go of those relationships, they'll reply in their own time. They just don't want to look too keen I reckon. I meant when dating someone, not messages... Or are you having a laugh? I hope others are like that with the messaging stage though, cos there's this woman whose profile i liked on another site who messaged me and i've been too poor to subscribe and get back to her... Okay, also a bit of nerves contributing, this would be the first time i've actually had a chance for online communication and I'm not really sure how its supposed to go... Maybe next week...
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share