F39

Meeting someone online

March 11 2018

Since joining rhp and loving the swinger life, I find I’m not interested in meeting people outside of it. Meeting people outside rhp I find I have nothing in common with and I have to hide a part of myself and I’m way to old to start living in a closet. I’ve found a lot of judgment from councillors to family and friends they don’t quite understand it. They see it as unhealthy, dirty and unsafe when it’s quite the opposite. I’ve never been happier and met some wonderful people and even made some great friends too. I would eventually love to meet someone off here to share in all the fun and I’m sure there are a lot of people out there that feel the same. What’s your experience, have you found the same judgment from people close to you? Or are you leading a secret double life? Thoughts....... - Posted from rhpmobile

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swingalingson

7 years ago

1. Councillors many of them have been divorced twice and give advice on marriages. 2. They judge a scene not being a sexual person themselves or will never or may not want to venture out of the norm 3.If you are enjoying the scene and have made friends with things in common then why end those relationships. 4.The double life is their not to protect yourself. It is there to protect others from their insecurities and the unknown, misunderstood knowledge on the swinging matter. 5. Also you can't preach to those who do not wish to be converted. 6. As for being "dirty" just shower every time after sex then you are not as dirty. 7. If you do meet someone, make sure that they wish to be in it for the long run. They might just wish to experiment in the lifestyle but then decide it is not for them. But consider if they leave then they might want to change you and get you out of something that has become a healthy part of your life. Some keep it secret from their vanilla friends because you do not want to second guess yourself if you are happy doing what you are doing. So.......swing away a enjoy and try not to hump a lot.SWINGA P.S. hopefully you find your swinging companion

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RHP User

7 years ago

...to open the lines of communication ⚡️ - Posted from rhpmobile

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gazpacho

7 years ago

Plenty of guys on here are also judgmental, but I like the way you think. Hugs Gaz - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

I have found that anyone not in the lifestyle, at least as far as friends are concerned, will react in one of two ways, they will be horrified and try and convince you that you are wrong and if they can't will turn their back on you OR they will be fascinated, supportive and enjoy living vicariously through you haahahaha As for partners, I have found the same. I have come across a few people IRL who simply cannot understand, so assume I am cheating or treat me disrespectfully, cause obviously I'm nothing but a slut >:-/ So I have got to the stage where I don't keep it a secret, I am not ashamed, but I don't advertise it either. People will react the way they will, I figure it helps bring out true colours. Those that have turned their backs on me, thank you, saved me the trouble of kicking your ass out the door! :)

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Mischeviouslad

7 years ago

RHP is just another avenue of communication..... sometimes a disturbing one given some people’s behaviour However.... places like this should only ever be a PART of life, not all of it, for one simple reason People may commonly be lured here due to a certain attitude..... but people in RHP also exist in the wider world beyond it.... in greater numbers, and far more often - Posted from rhpmobile

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Xxalex

7 years ago

As long as you are enjoying yourself, don't change a thing, the only person you need to make happy is yourself. I do get that's it's not always best revealing this part of our lives to everyone. It's just easier and also avoids some unwanted attention... But it's not a bad thing... There's lots of different areas of my life that I hide from different groups of people. And then there are some area I only share with a select few. I haven't met any one in person from rhp yet. Had a few chats with pie'ers and more recently some in depth chats.. Would I like to meet someone from here and pop my rhp virginity, hell yeah (and I mean meeting not farking virginity)... Would love to meet for a coffee a discuss all things kinky... Lol Anyway, keep doing your thing and enjoying life, and don't feel like you are hiding yourself, you are just revealing those parts to people who share that common interest,... We all do it. 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile

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Dirtyandfriendly

7 years ago

I've had to hide who I am from friends and family. Most of those I meet normally are not as kinky or have a high sex drive like me. That's probably one of the biggest things I've noticed. Most I see would spend a day off shopping at Ikea where I'd rather be balls deep, acting out a fantasy or doing something full on and kinky. I've met some cool people, I would like to meet someone to do the swinging scene, group play and events though.

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HotNightsGC

7 years ago

That’s our outlook anyway. There’s far too much judgement in all areas of life these days, so we don’t see the need to attract more judgement about our sexual lifestyle. We love what we do and have made some awesome friends who are able to both understand and accept us the way we are. Bottom line for us is we have people in our lives who are non swing and also pro swing. It’s an easier and happier lifestyle to keep the two separate. - Posted from rhpmobile

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gazpacho

7 years ago

And perhaps only guess half the naughty things you get up to. That’s what makes it interesting. Hugs G

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RHP User

7 years ago

Who have a rhp account and have judgements about the site so spend most of their time on vanilla sites where they feel comfortable. For whatever reason. Thinking women are different from rhp as opposed to women on vanilla sites, in a negative way, is to me bullshit. Dating sites are just a platform and there are lots of people on both or all the sites with a different intent on each one. Yeah, so what do they really want? Ive found rhp people to be much more down to earth, honest and open about what they are wanting. Thats just my personal opinion.

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nightingale8

7 years ago

I've often wondered what I would do if single again. Conventional dating often assumes the whole monogamy thing, whereas if looking for a partner on here I would question the commitment of new potentials (I can see from the forums that many have found wonderful partners here so this is not aimed at you. This would just be my concern, even if somewhat unfounded. Feel free to correct me). I continue to meet lots of great people offline though. I just accept that most others like to conform to societal expectations and hope that they would equally accept me for my choices. Nowadays I don't go out of my way to hide I just let people assume what they want. From my few disclosures, most have been met with amusement and the only time where they weren't was from those who never struck me as very sexual in the first place. Anyway, OP I hope you don't get weighed down by the judgmental snoots. They're prisoners of their own judgments. Anyway it's funny watching them get their panties in a knot. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

I do have “vanilla” friends I’m very open with about my life and I don’t think it’s changed their opinion of me. Sometimes it’s exhausting going out there meeting people you know your not going to have anything in common with so rhp is a big safety net. it’s hard finding friendships that last when our lives take such different paths. I find I’ll always have something in common with swingers so it’s a little longer lasting. I do think having a balance of the two worlds is ideal but don’t think I would ever date anyone vanilla ever again. I would feel trapped. I am however the happiest I’ve ever been living the swinger lifestyle and wouldn’t give it up for anyone, judgment or not. I tend to question motives more from posers on here and their easy to pick now I’ve got more experienced. Vanillas I wouldn’t trust as far as I can throw them. Thanks for all you experiences and views. - Posted from rhpmobile

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bonefide

7 years ago

Enjoy the journey. Safe happy travels

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BiPlay69

7 years ago

I find the people I meet through the lifestyle to be refreshing. Open minded, genuine, in touch with themselves. Great laughs, good friends and less judgement calls. Considering many people's judgement calls are not even their own, just repeated conditioning, the freedom of the lifestyle is invigorating. As for what others think, well, why should we really be concerned. We are all consenting adults, respectful and simple not denying ourselves the hedonistic pleasures the lifestyle affords. - Posted from rhpmobile

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BiPlay69

7 years ago

I find the people I meet through the lifestyle to be refreshing. Open minded, genuine, in touch with themselves. Great laughs, good friends and less judgement calls. Considering many people's judgement calls are not even their own, just repeated conditioning, the freedom of the lifestyle is invigorating. As for what others think, well, why should we really be concerned. We are all consenting adults, respectful and simple not denying ourselves the hedonistic pleasures the lifestyle affords. - Posted from rhpmobile

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EarthQueen

7 years ago

Some spend all their life looking for them. So if you’ve found them, enjoy, and embrace the things that make your life richer 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

A secret here, at least from family and anyone likely to connect with my family. Some I could tell, some would be good with it, but I can't necessarily trust confidentiality, so the people that won't understand will then inevitably find out, sooner or later, as far as I'm concerned. I am very proud of the friends I have made, intimate or otherwise, so much so it is sometimes hard to contain my pride in these connections and keep them to myself. So I "could" let small details out, but any information leads to questions leading to more questions, unfortunately it's all or nothing, it's too big a can of worms to open. If the can of worms did get out, however, it wouldn't be a huge deal, I've made arguably enough other controversial choices with my life (not having kids, rarely drinking etc etc) that depending on your life, can recieve just as much criticism or more. So I'd deal with it, ultimately no one else has much say in my life, just me and my dog so far long term, so things would generally remain as normal. I did ask this same question once on the forums not long after I first started. I have told some third party male "mates", who also share stories of their own private lives or lack thereof, but only normally basic details, answering the "have you ever" type of questions etc. I still do not like to lie or conceal the truth. Yes, of course, like the OP, I would also still like to meet a partner, from here or from a similar site. Or even via a vanilla site but someone similarly open minded. I'm happy to have wonderful experiences with couples/groups etc, but it is very different sharing moments with a special long term loving partner... at least I presume via all the anectodal evidence...

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curiousnhorny05

7 years ago

Is the phrase that comes to mind. We can be free to explore our fantasies, lusts and secret desires, no judgement. If anyone discovered from our vanilla life the freedom disappears and the judgement begins. - Posted from rhpmobile

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