M45
Melbourne's swinging scenes horrible stereotype
February 01 2010
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
saw the 7pm project tonight you might get the same impression. wondering how many on that show might be into swinging....hmmmWe have come accross some great people and some not so great people via swinging and equally the same applies in normal life to.Cheers Nev
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RHP User
15 years ago
Typical narrow minded people that have no idea about swinging... I listened to the audio segment.... what a load of crap.Rockefeller met a couple ... so dam what.... they guy is now dead.... find out why they killed him ... not how he got his rocks off... No wonder a lot of people hate the media on its very biased views.... Oh and the Sunday Age, saying it was an underground network .... are they kidding.... guess these people dont watch to much TV with adds regarding AMM, RPH, Lavalife, RSVP etc etc etc...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hello Swingers, here's a perspective from a Divorced woman.........I met someone on here. An absolutely beautiful genuine person. Yes, he had been throught a fucked up marriage like I had, we had a lot in common. We got on well. He introduced me to the kids, I introduced him to mine. He sees a married woman he met as part of a couple on here.Ok, so you swingers will say "you're on a sex site, we swap partners, we enjoy sex" guess what idiots....so do single women. So do single males. So does the majority of humans.Tonight I sent a message to the married lover, telling her as much as I love him, he loves her - I have no hope. She gets to wake up next to the man who let's her have "extra's", who looks for "extra's". She gets to experience mind blowing sex with other men, yet she chose to marry her love. She chose to have his child. I chose to exist in a loveless marriage, an abusive marriage filled with cheating because I thought it was the "RIGHT" thing to do by my child.Now I sit here, in love with her "lover", I've been hurt, I shed my marriage friends through personal choice, yet she crawls into bed with her husband every night, and sees the man I love to gratify her lust.So to those couples who chose to stand up & swap "til death us do part" vows - where precisely does it say "til death I do get sick of our sex life" within those vows?Frankly, if you cannot ultimately "connect" with your chosen life partner then divorce them. Don't cause undue heartache to others because you want additional sexual experiences. There are plenty of prostitues and brothels that cater for people who aren't satisfied with their life choices.Good luck when you retire, you may kill each other. Me???? I fell in love with someone I wanted to spend my waking moments with, who I thought could support me emotionally, physically and would be my best friend. How wrong and broken was my thinking. I've never felt so alone and hurt in my whole days.Congratulations Mrs whatever your name is. YOu got to wake up next to the man you married and another man you can fuck senseless. We single women who choose to get out of relationships for our own happiness/health get your cast off jaded asshole men who want the best of both worlds. If you want variety, get out of your marriage or else suffer what us single women do.Sorry for sounding like a bitch, but this is the third time a man I loved chose the married "fuck buddy" over the single whenever you want it friend.
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RHP User
15 years ago
What can one say after that!!!!
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PashInParadise
15 years ago
Life is full of choices, some are bad and some are good. However, I dont let the bad experiences of an individual whom I dont know dicatate the behaviour or values that I hold. I respect others values to do what they wish with whom they like and dont make judgement about what or who they do. It would be nice at times to have the same courtesy returned. Getting to the point however, Sal & Stal are quite right - the media picks up on a story of somebody who was perhaps into a bit more than just swinging and obviously got mixed up with the wrong people. However, one bad apple does not make a bad orchard make and the thousands of people I have met over the many years on this site and through parties are simply normal people experiencing something a bit different in life and are doing nobody any harm - they are just having fun and typically because of that they are fun people too and I really like that :-) Mr T from KAT KLUB
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RHP User
15 years ago
i always thought swingers were selfish, guess redi sums it up from her point of viewsomeone always gets hurt when feelings are involved, sex is involved - guess the single chick couldn't compete with the married chick afterall lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
thats just intollarable red,,, could it be you have moved from one abusive marriage too another,, could it possibly be that the blame for this dose not lie with just "the other woman". dont get me wrong red,,, i do feel for your pain,, experience has taught us swinging is not always the simple game people would like it too be.Its also taught us more about us,, wants, needs,insercurities and much more,, perhaps we were lucky in that we could manage our problems together and understand why and how we came to the dark place we ended up. But it was us that made that happen,,, not her or me but both of us.We do still"fool around" but we have learnt lessons from each other that when respected make "fooling around" alot of fun for us.I hope im not missing the point hear and i hope you have the strength to make what you want to happen a reality,,, or move on to a place you feel secure in. Swingers aint selfish,,, people are. oh and lets face it,, me telling you that the media should be belived anytime ,anyplace ,anyhow would just be insulting.
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RHP User
15 years ago
i did it again,,, am just sposed to be watching!
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RedHotCoast
15 years ago
Nova's story was crap. We have been swinging for 9 years and have found the average swinging cpl look after themselves better then a non swing cpl. I guess swing cpls worry about their looks/bodies more because they are trying to attract (and have sex with) other cpls. They have not let them selves go as many cpls do after a few years of marrage. Agree or disagree?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'sneekypeek' thats just intollarable red,,, could it be you have moved from one abusive marriage too another,, could it possibly be that the blame for this dose not lie with just "the other woman". dont get me wrong red,,, i do feel for your pain,, experience has taught us swinging is not always the simple game people would like it too be.Its also taught us more about us,, wants, needs,insercurities and much more,, perhaps we were lucky in that we could manage our problems together and understand why and how we came to the dark place we ended up. But it was us that made that happen,,, not her or me but both of us.We do still"fool around" but we have learnt lessons from each other that when respected make "fooling around" alot of fun for us.I hope im not missing the point hear and i hope you have the strength to make what you want to happen a reality,,, or move on to a place you feel secure in. Swingers aint selfish,,, people are. oh and lets face it,, me telling you that the media should be belived anytime ,anyplace ,anyhow would just be insulting. so adding playmates to your sphere isn't selfish? what if someone else is involved that you haven't met? would you still pursue the game? or think of another persons feelings before stripping off? i think what redi is getting at is a lot of marrieds that introduce a regular "playmate" dont stop to think of other people, they think to gratify their urges no matter who is involved or who gets hurt. sounds to me like redi invested into a relationship that couldn't go anywhere due to the married not backing off & giving them a go. christ, i've been there, women are relentless when it comes to orgasms & if hubby aint floating ya boat then go look elsewhere - even someone's husband can gratify when the need arises
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RHP User
15 years ago
your right hot,, adding playmates to MY sphere would truly be selfish,,, and persueing the game behind my partners back would be adultury,, .Again ,, we would never have a set up where one of us was doing this without the other,,, tis the rules and the communication with your partner. but i do know what you mean about this other woman and yes its not a good scene,, and yes it would apear she is being selfish and uncaring about reds feelings,,, specially if she knows how red feels.
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RHP User
15 years ago
redi2try, what you've described has nothing to do with swinging - well, as we understand it. Sorry. It can be called 'cheating' or it can be called 'open relationship' or 'polyamory' or something else - depending on circumstances. As we understand, swinging is primarily swapping partners between committed couples. This is completely different story.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Actually, 'swinging' is the complete opposite of 'selfish'. How is it possible to call the act of sharing your dearest person 'selfish'? Mind boggling ... :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
NOVA & HUGHESY WE HAVE BEEN BEHIND EVERY THING THAY HAVE SAID SINCE THAY STARTED ON RADIO !!!! LIKE SO MANY OTHERS I GUESS WE WILL NEVER LISTN TO YO GUYS AGAIN ................ WHY DISSRESPECT PEOPLE THAT HAVE FUN MEETING OTHER PEOPLE FOR REASONS THAT DONT MATTER TO ANY 1 OTHER THAN THOSE INVOLVED ?????????????? VERY DISSAPOINTED WE HAVE BEEN TO QUITE A FEW SWINGERS PARTYS AND NEVER HAD A PROBLEM
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RHP User
15 years ago
My girl and i have not swung yet so to speak, but were getting close. I thought the other day that nova was a little down on the whole swinging thing, i think its not so bad as long as you and your love are comfortable with it, and if you are single, wheres the harm? Its like alot of things on TV and radio, they base their opinions on what is socially and politically correct or accepted. I generally like dave hughes, but you can see thru him alot when he talks about subjects, like bands and songs he "likes" and current affairs. He just talks on radio, he doesnt know much about much in my opinion.
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RHP User
15 years ago
if anything, reading the responses to what I wrote shows me no one is allowed to have an opinion or have a go at anyone else on this site. It is clearly a site for people who want to trample over the one in front to get what they want and heaven forbid anyone gets hurt.Not a place for me anymore, you can all have your cake & eat it too & hopefully in 5 years time you'll still be happy what you're doing.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Objectivity is a significant principle of Journalistic Professionalism Journalistic objectivity can refer to fairness, disinterestedness, factuality, and non-partisanship, but most often to encompass all of these qualities. There was No Neutrality at all in the story..... It was a Biased View from a Reporter or Persons Unknown..(Station Management and in Line with Station Content Policy) WE can scream from the Rooftops that we want and need truth in reporting or truth in the media...Factuality being a Bonus.....BUT IT WONT HAPPEN....! SEx Sells' we know that...... Sensationalised Sex Storys sell more papers and get more listeners ITs a numbers Money Game to them..... to the People Involved in the story its an More than an Insult ......Its deformation of character...and Grose..Invasion of Privacy..... In My oppinion Wonder what Nova's Staff get up to in the Bedroom....... Nudie xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
They called me on Tuesday and interviewed me about swinging. Nova 106.9 and they are coming to the club on Friday Night to see that it is not what they think. I will let you know how it goes. They have been talking about it up here too, and they have had positive outlook here. Leesa Couples Iternational
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RHP User
15 years ago
Ok guys and gals, They refer to it as "NEWS" right? If you take the "S" on the end, and put a "l" through it, you get a "$" Which then gives us "NEW$" or "NEW DOLLARS" When you get right down to it, that is what the media is all about, bringing in the "New Dollars" Accuracy in the stories they are reporting is a secondary consideration. Sex sells, and sensationalism sells more, so I'm sure that they are loving this topic in the media companies at the moment. My humble opinion, A
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'redi2try' Well reading your original posting it sounds to me that he was seeing the married lady before he met you so that being the case,and by the sounds of it he doesnt want to stop playing with her, what "rights" do you have to tell her or expect her to stop playing with him? just because you say you have fallen in love with him is your problem and no-one elses i dont see you saying he loves you. Reading what i have you come across as a spoiled child who is tossing out the toys from the crib because YOU cannot have everything your way. Obviously you knew about the married lady shortly after you met so then was the time to attempt to say to HIM sorry but it will have to be me only or nothing as i am not into sharing men. bothtogether6 if anything, reading the responses to what I wrote shows me no one is allowed to have an opinion or have a go at anyone else on this site. It is clearly a site for people who want to trample over the one in front to get what they want and heaven forbid anyone gets hurt.Not a place for me anymore, you can all have your cake & eat it too & hopefully in 5 years time you'll still be happy what you're doing.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well we all know that the pommy press likes to write all about sex but the poms actually can't find a g-spot for want of trying... :P ... so it's little wonder Nova has a bias against swinging.. what with all those g-spot orgasms you lot talk about.. not to mention squirting. And it seems Lachlan Murdock, who owns the other 50% of Nova since November, hasnt had a chance to make his mark yet. :p Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Nova actually contacted us too to host their Melbourne breakfast radio members at a couples Dinner and Drinks night on Friday night... hopefully we can let them see that we are just normal decent people out to have a great time with the ones that we love! Maybe we'll even open their minds up a little and change their narrow opinion they presented on Monday's show. We'll be doing what we can to show them what a great bunch of people us 'swingers' are! P.S. redi2try - where's the relevance to the forum topic?? apologies for your hurt but don't see how condenming others will help - yes life is full of choices, try being positive and shed your negative ways that have obviously left you hurt and miserable. MINX
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RHP User
15 years ago
it seems redi2try has struck a raw nerve amongst swingerswe're all allowed to have opinions, we're all allowed to voice our concerns whether it be in the form of being hurt, alone, having morals etcwe ALL have opinions, we all have feelings, just because one person "vents" on here does not give you the right to walk all over them. yes, opinions are just that - opinionsi have a LOT of opinions, shame the majority of forum posters take offence at breathing
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PashInParadise
15 years ago
So because someone vents we are expected to accept that the generalisation they make based upon their personal experience is applicable to us all. Sorry that is not walking over anyone, it is simply responding to some baseless statements that bunches everyone into the same category. If people want to post generalisations then expect more than just an "oh dear" response - expect an "oh dear, never mind move on"
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wouldnt worry about what these ignorant people are saying. As most of u would already be aware, the media does not print or discuss anything for ur benefit and they always exaggerate & sensationalize stories. It is all about selling newsprint or getting viewers / listeners tuning in. Unfortunately, most of societies views come from what the news tells them because they take what they are being told as gospel and sadly do not have their own thought processes to form their own views. Really SAD that most people do not realise that there are ulterior motives for what they are being told. E.G Magda Szubanski going on a current affair claiming she wanted to lose weight and help others. I was curious as to what was her motive and Lo & Behold, 2 days later she is representing Jenny Craig. I purposely watch these programs when I get a chance with my children so they can understand the medias techniques and manipulation. The funny thing about idiots like this is they are the ones who luv 2 claim the high moral ground but are doing a lot more than swinging when they are in their little dark corner and no one is watching. In my opinion, human beings have a natural and instinctual want 2 be intimate with others even if u are in luv with someone. If sex was only for people who are in luv and in luv only, the human race would probably be extinct.At least we can say with confidence that a high proportion of us in the swinging scene are happy, up front and truthful with our luved ones about our desires. I would be willing to bet that the majority of these morons are sneaking around trying to look in their partners phone and emails to catch them doing something because they are insecure little human beings.One thing I have learnt in my life is that people who are genuinely happy to not judge others.Mick
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amoureuX
15 years ago
Quoting 'Nudierudie2' Objectivity is a significant principle of Journalistic Professionalism Journalistic objectivity can refer to fairness, disinterestedness, factuality, and non-partisanship, but most often to encompass all of these qualities. There was No Neutrality at all in the story..... It was a Biased View from a Reporter or Persons Unknown... (Station Management and in Line with Station Content Policy) This is far as I got with Nudies post before I started writing a reply...blood boiling and know it all hat firmly on ..Facing backwards of course. Then realizing I’m a bloke I decided to read the rest of the profile...I mean post. Bravo nudie..and for that matter most of you lot. You have hit the nail squarely on the head girl and I couldn’t have put it better myself . It’s a numbers Money Game to them..... to the People Involved in the story it’s an More than an Insult ......Its defamation of character...and Grosse..Invasion of Privacy..... I am now going to out myself here.... I’ve worked in the 'media' for over 20 years and the last thing on the minds of most working journalists is the truth. Sure there are a few working at the abc or the occasional broadsheet...but they all have an eye on a book deal at the end of the day anyway. I wish I had jumped on this thread earlier as I wish the Minx party had not facilitated for nova. IT’S A STITCH UP! Maybe nova won’t be as cruel as some of the current affairs programs would be ....they aint that evil ,but it is such a waste of energy. They want one thing ..voyeuristic sensationalism for ratings. The underground seedy swingers scene that took a life and now is being laid bare by the best journalistic talents in the land? gimme a break. Most of us enjoy the 'scene' for what it is to us, but like any lifestyle choice we are gonna have some nutters amongst us...just look at gaz ..how he hasn’t ended up in a 44gallon drum is amazing lol. My 2 cents....don’t waste your time with the 4th estate .... they were sold years ago mr amoureux
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'sexshinecoast' Nova's story was crap. We have been swinging for 9 years and have found the average swinging cpl look after themselves better then a non swing cpl. I guess swing cpls worry about their looks/bodies more because they are trying to attract (and have sex with) other cpls. They have not let them selves go as many cpls do after a few years of marrage. Agree or disagree? Agree The swinging scene is filled with people of all walks of life but for the most part I find swingers take more care of their appearance. The NOVA story was a disgrace it is comparability to discrimination in the media of gay community in the decades gone by. Swinging is when couples swap partners--- not when single men look for a particular type of women. I went to the link and read the commments and the comment from CI was very interesting - they have had no police call out in 6 years of being owners HOW many clubs, pubs, RSL's could say that????
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'redi2try' if anything, reading the responses to what I wrote shows me no one is allowed to have an opinion or have a go at anyone else on this site. It is clearly a site for people who want to trample over the one in front to get what they want and heaven forbid anyone gets hurt.Not a place for me anymore, you can all have your cake & eat it too & hopefully in 5 years time you'll still be happy what you're doing. And here's mine!I rarely get riled up on this site but am struggling to bite my tongue atm. And yes, this is off topic but what the hell.redi2try PLUS hotblonde ... are you serious???First of all redi2try ... your 'lover's' life and choices are his own. If he is in love with you and wants to be with you he will be and no other woman will change that. You don't say that "he's in love with you but wants to play with others". Instead you say "he's in love with someone else". I'm pretty sure that means he's not yours and wouldn't be yours even if the married woman 'dumped him' as her lover. From what you say ... and I can only base this on what you say .. HE is choosing HER. I understand that it hurts however slagging the married woman off because your lover is in love with her strikes me as ridiculous at best. And for everyone else that responded with sympathy to redi's plight, yes I can have compassion, but can anyone really say that the man or his married lover are doing something wrong??!! What, exactly, are they doing wrong? I don't see any evidence of cheating, seeing as redi seems to know all about the situation between her lover and the married woman, and more importantly, seems to still be hanging around though she knows he's in love with someone else.It gives me the shits when people on here blow smoke up each others' asses. Yes, I'm having a rant ... feel free to ignore me or rant back, whatever floats your boat. Maybe I have the facts wrong ... feel free to enlighten me.hotblonde ... when a married couple introduce a playmate into their sphere, surely the only people they are responsible to are themselves and the playmate? It's up to the playmate to uphold his commitment to another person if he has one! I can't speak for redi's situation, but surely it's possible that a married couple might not know their new playmate is breaking someone else's heart??? And even if they did, if said playmate made it clear he didn't have real feelings for the other person, should he and he married couple not pursue their new adventure because the other person might get hurt? The only responsibility I can see here is for the playmate to tell the other woman exactly what's going on, exactly what he feels, exactly what he can offer, and then it's up to HER whether she sticks around or not. So in redi's case, has said playmate done this - been honest with her about where he stands? I can't be sure, but it seems so, in which case the choice is now hers to stay and take his crumbs or move on.We're all adults, the choice is ALWAYS ours!And as for opinions and venting on here ... everyone is free to say whatever they like, including me :D It's incredibly foolish to think that when you speak your mind or vent your feelings all readers will agree and sympathise. We won't, we don't and those are just the rules of the sandpit. If you don't like it, get out![end of rant]lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
I was reading through and thinking the exact same, but torn between being bothered to reply and not wanting to leave without having opined. So thank you for your "rant", its saved me from having to compose. :) 2b :) (a piggy back ranter @ times)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Why does anyone really care about what Nova has to say...its just A Current Affair with music...not journalism. 2b :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
thank you lilmissfussy said it in all those well chosen thoughts hooah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............
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amoureuX
15 years ago
Quoting 'lilmissfussy'It gives me the shits when people on here blow smoke up each others' asses. Except gaz..... cause im sure he enjoys it
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RHP User
15 years ago
aww thanks 2B and Fergus ... now I'll just sit tight and wait to be howled down by folks who don't share our view :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Thought it was very relevant. You expressed the same concerns we had. Not posted here previously cos we had already posted on another thread to a similar post. PP69 Quoting 'lilmissfussy' aww thanks 2B and Fergus ... now I'll just sit tight and wait to be howled down by folks who don't share our view :)lilmiss x
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RHP User
15 years ago
Wow!! lol....after reading all that my thoughts are simple I guess. I didnt hear the radio show, however the media certainly has been beating the whole scene up. As Amoreaux has already pointed out, they NEVER let the truth get in the way of a good story/book deal.HOWEVER... there IS a lesson to be learnt for all "swingers" from all of this too. Quite apart from any moral high roads, this guy appears to have gotten himself killed because he lied to a couple about his true status. IF the media is to be believed, he had represented himself as a couple to them and then rocked up without a female. Unfortunately this a common occurence around our neck of the scene, and part of the reason why "single" guys get such a bad rap.Its like anything in life, if you lie it can come back to bite you in the arse BIGTIME.So, the best piece of advice I could give people, is to to be honest in how you deal with people and of course excercise common sense when meeting complete strangers off websites.Nuff said.. Ms bear
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'amoureuX' Quoting 'lilmissfussy'It gives me the shits when people on here blow smoke up each others' asses. Except gaz..... cause im sure he enjoys it Ha ha ... I'm sure you're right :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
http://www.novafm.com.au/Nova1069/Video_Tim-s-secret-swingers-video_99100?s=9 Here is the video that Nova took at our club when they attended after all of the crap on news. Leesa and Bryan Couples International
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RHP User
15 years ago
AmeureuX ~ I'm not a certified nutter but I think I'm often misunderstood. And AmeureuX in tag team with little Miss Fussy...... as for the term "blowing smoke up my arse" .... the term literally translates to the two of you "trying to get a reaction" out of somebody, vis vis... out of me. Now the term apparently originated from a 16th century technique to determine death by literally blowing tobacco smoke into someone's anus (through a long pipe) - where a reaction indicated that the person was still alive. So I suppose congratulations are in order Doctors. I am still alive! Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
15 years ago
Sensational stories sell newspapers and increase ratings. We accept that factual reporting is not something that happens in the swinging scene. No one wants to read stories about nice normal adults who are kind and discreet having a sexual adventure with other adults. Our media strategy is not to comment as the sensational stories are short lived and do not affect attendance at parties or adventure between friends. We would like Australian society to accept that sexual adventure is a good thing - but fat chance of that happening. sexy wishes to all Next party 6th March Tassieswingers xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
http://www.novafm.com.au/Nova1069/Audio_Tim-s-swing-the-aftermath_95992?s=9 Another positive thing said about swingers from Nova. But i must say this is brisbane nova..not melbourne.
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