F54
Men and body image
February 09 2014
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
i read this in a little book just this morning, a man wrote.. Like you lot, we men are full of doubts, insecurities and fears about attractiveness and desirability.but we 'd rather die than admit it.We know you're afraid your bum looks too big, but we really don't mind. So please, please don't turn the lights off. We are not Brad Pitt either but hope you will be so turned on that you will forget!
-
luvsilver
11 years ago
I am neither luxury sized nor ripped gym junkie but I think males most certainly have the same worries and insecurities as woman.Perhaps not to the same extent but still there.I also tend to think that for the younger generation of males, the body beautiful image that they see portrayed in music videos, the media ,advertising and even here on RHP is becoming more and more important to them as times change. Much the same issues as woman have been battling forever.I have even noticed talk between our 4 sons about six packs and abs which back when I was their age, kids would never have even heard of them. Mr Luvsilver
-
RHP User
11 years ago
..answering this one in the positive could be damaging to a man's prospects on here. I wouldn't say I've "suffered" with body image issues, but I've always been aware I'm carrying a bit more padding around the middle than I like. My pics are all recentenough..I don't want to be caught lying about my appearance..but I'm not comfortable enough in my skin to be walking around with my shirt off. A bit silly really, but the media bombards men almost as much as women with "ideal"images..and i work on a large mine site, a place where for a lot of men, working outis the main way to pass the time..I used to myself for a while.But, by that token, there are just as many overweight and obese men on site too..and my build seems to fit somewhere in the middle..but that doesn't mean I'm proud to be carrying a bit more padding than I once did. As for getting naked with a lady..no hang ups there, it's private after all. Also, my last 2 partnerswere a fair bit younger and were chasing me..and that certainly didn't hurt my self esteem at the time.And so, after 2 yrs..I'm single again. Haha!But that was more to do with both of us failing to work at it. : )I'm sure there's plenty of guys like me who aren't exactly proud of their entire bodies, butit's my responsibility to do something about it..which I am. Slowly. I don't let it drag me down, otherwise I wouldn't be on here..amongst all these six-packs and ripped body pics. I'm proud of my smile..I let it represent me
-
lovman8
11 years ago
As an older man I definitely have body image issues......no 6 pack and ripped torso.......no hair on head ( quit bald infact) and a more recent one and abundance of body hair......and don't get quite as hard as I used too. These issues make me quite insecure and self conscious when approaching women......however, and this may be where the genders differ if I get past this and actually connect with a woman and there is some "chemistry" my lust takes over and all these insecurities mostly drop away.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A lot seem to be fixated on gym work, as they feel they have to live up to what they see on T.V. My Fwb and I were chatting about this last night and agreed there is definitely more pressure these days.....
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I don't. Each to their own though. WYSIWYG.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I lament with my head hung down and battle the tears away for no matter how hard I try I just cant reach perfection. That was me 10 or more years ago, but now I just try to keep my self at the ideal weight, and relatively fit. Its just too hard to keep up with the younger guys and pointless getting hung up over it. It does suck when a lovely maiden picks the hard rippling body of a 30 year old over me. I just have to remember I had my time in the sun.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
My biggest gripe is the couple of Xmas kilos that I "need" to lose... If a profile has wall to wall six packs, I don't bother messaging though... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
A man very special to me is very gym fit - mid-40s, lean, broad shoulders, big arms, muscly pecs, narrow hips. Not thin in any way, a tiny bit of padding on his love handles but barely noticeable. Gorgeous face! Strong. Quite hairy and has had hair removed from his back (growing back, will remove it again). A fantastic Aussie bloke, loves his sport, mates, family, very kind, sensitive, generous and helpful. Just the right amount of alpha male going on. And ... wracked with insecurities, especially about his capability and his body/body hair/looks. Granted as he gets older he's getting more naturally comfortable with who he is, but he's always been very hard on everything about himself. It's dumbfounded me - he's gorgeous, sought after by women and loved by his mates. So yes, I think many men do worry just like women do.
-
Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
I could always be better...... but I enjoy my exercise so Im fine with my self. Body image, and body obsession are different beasts. But, a little obsession to achieve a goal dosnt hurt. DG
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Guilty.. I will worry about how i look when i feel sluggish ..so yes i can relate to women on this one..
-
RHP User
11 years ago
My couple of Xmas kilos are holding back my running times... Gym junkies don't impress me at all. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
-
smo669
11 years ago
Most men will look at themselves In a mirror and ignore any bulgy saggy bits and think "looking good" while most women (even the gorgeous spunky elite) will focus on some minor blemish or imperfection and agonise over it. Leave the lights on and rejoice in what you are and the body you have, your man will find you sexy none the less
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I think it is human nature to doubt yourself and be a little insecure about the way you look. No matter what you look like there is always going to be someone better looking than you and you just have to accept that and think about the things about you that make you great and that they don't have. I think the important thing is if you are happy and comfortable with the way you are then good on you if not then get off your lazy ass and hit the gym...its really not that hard once you get into the routine.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I'm 6'4, 110 kg and while I'm not ridiculously huge- I definitely have days where I hate how I look. So much so that I avoid going out or whatever. Other days, I feel fantastic and I have some serious mojo going on. I think it's just a matter of where my self esteem is on any given day. Kinda obvious but there you go.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'smo669' Most men will look at themselves In a mirror and ignore any bulgy saggy bits and think "looking good" while most women (even the gorgeous spunky elite) will focus on some minor blemish or imperfection and agonise over it. Leave the lights on and rejoice in what you are and the body you have, your man will find you sexy none the less It is not a gender thing, it is a personal thing. Some people will never be happy even when they are perfect, others that are average at best just see perfection. It has nothing to do with what gender they are. There is so little difference between men and woman but we just continue to assign traits and almost force compliance.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think body image is the only thing that plays a part. I've said no to women before based upon their own admission that the guys that attract her have a tertiary education.... Me being just truck driver, I don't have that same level of intelligence, so how would I be able stimulate her mind nearly the same amount?? Yep....I can't.... Easy eh?? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Lifes_great
11 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' i read this in a little book just this morning, a man wrote.. Like you lot, we men are full of doubts, insecurities and fears about attractiveness and desirability.but we 'd rather die than admit it.We know you're afraid your bum looks too big, but we really don't mind. So please, please don't turn the lights off. We are not Brad Pitt either but hope you will be so turned on that you will forget! That's so well written, thanks for posting Litonya and thanks OP for the great topic
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Stir_it_alot' I don't think body image is the only thing that plays a part. I've said no to women before based upon their own admission that the guys that attract her have a tertiary education.... Me being just truck driver, I don't have that same level of intelligence, so how would I be able stimulate her mind nearly the same amount?? Yep....I can't.... Easy eh?? - Posted from rhpmobile Education and intelligence are not the same thing. Plenty of dumb people have degrees, and many intelligent people don't. You're way too witty to be dull.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Men definitely have body issues. We're not supposed to, and are taught by society that we are a bit pathetic if we are concerned by the way we look. Women, on the other hand, are taught by society that it is ALL about how they look. Neither are right but both are perpetuated in the media. I get a bit pissed off at the sexism in the media when female presenters are constantly making remarks about how a man looks and how hot they are, but jump on the feminist band wagon when a man makes a similar comment. Most men are not too concerned with the way a woman looks and will be pleased if a woman is talking to and flirting with them. I think women are a little more concerned with how a man looks - maybe this is because they get A LOT more attention and feel they can be a lot more choosy.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Lol I rest my case :) - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Why do you think steroid use is at an all time high?Society and hollywood has bread us all into thinking we should be ripped movie stars. I have middle age pudding ,but consider myself average.Right now i feel like a cornetto ... so i will have one !Even if all of us were sexy as ,with the body of what we dream of,we would still find fault in ourself.Think its just human nature.
-
gazpacho
11 years ago
Blind an is right. A person can, for a zillion reasons be intelligent but not educated. Body image is important to men. Some guys have a fast metabolism and never get fat... But they also have difficulty putting muscle mass on those skinny arms and legs. I have a too thin butt that makes my pants fall off at the mere suggestion. It's a difficult life. Hugs Gazpacho
-
RHP User
11 years ago
gym junkies are people too! And not all are "junkies". Anyone who dedicates some of their life to strength training for health and happiness gets my vote. Much the same as I admire people who eat healthily, do cardio, ski, scuba or otherwise enjoy healthy, physical pursuits. Less judgment, perhaps?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
My ex was so fixated on his body image (and still is) that it facilitated the break down of our relationship. He was so insecure that he admitted he didn't want to have sex with me even though I was salivating at him entering the room. His body was very sexy to me and I let him know that, but it didn't change how HE felt about himself. Because ideal body image was so important to HIM about himself, I extrapolated to presume that _I_ needed to fit the perfect body image too, and suffered a decline in my own confidence and self-esteem. Before I knew it we were having unimaginative sex in the dark on special occasions only (because we thought we "should"). If only he'd been able to relax a little and believe in my love. If only I'd been able to get through to him somehow. I never want to be in a situation like that again. Everyone, please lighten up about your bodies, they aren't a project that you need to manage, they are your tools to experience life, create things and feel things with. USE THEM!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Thank you all for your honesty. My reasons for originally asked the question was twofold; I'm surrounded by males (family), no females, and have kids of an age where body image could become an issue. And a new beau I've noticed covers up significantly to camouflage a few extra kg's. I find his body extraordinarily sexy and it took a little while to work out it was (I think) body image insecurity. He's quite young and I was very intetested in the man's perspective
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Have very low self esteem. When I was a kid I was extremely skinny, but being a hard working farm boy, I was still stronger than all the other kids my age, even though I didn't look it. I used to hide myself in baggy clothes. As a young teen I found my strength made me great at wrestling, so I started lifting weights so I could get even more of an edge, and took up martial arts. But the whole time I always wore loose clothes. I was self conscious until I was about 21. I kept exercising, but purely for strength/effectiveness, not at all for looks. Then my sister bought me some tighter shirts and singlets which I refused to wear, so she hid all my other clothes. I went down the street for some reason and was surprised to find that people weren't disgusted, and women were actually checking me out. I think my experiences made me a better person. My not-girlfriend (she's afraid to call it a relationship) at the moment is very self conscious, thinking she's fat (she's actually beautiful) and I see a lot of the same patterns with her - pulling faces in every photo, always wearing loose clothes etc to hide herself. My experiences allowed me to see her low self esteem for what it is long before most people would have, and allows me to be supportive and understanding so I'm glad I experienced what I did, even if only for her.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Be we man or woman... we are who we are... and if we attack life as a challenge to be mastered from an early age... by the time we have time to stop and ponder ourselves... we should feel like something has been achieved and that we have amounted to something. That can overcome the glance in the mirror where we notice the crows feet or that the 6 pack has been replaced by a pregnancy of 3 months. The aches and slowing of physical performance should be countered by the acquisition of knowledge and experience. SHIT... I cannot fuck like an 18 year old... but then again do I want to... no I have learn't it is not all about speed and wham bam thank you Maam. The wisdom of experience makes you savour all the things that matter and not wory about the things one cannot alter. M
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Having said that... the teen years offer all manner of doubts... men tend to put on blinkers and barge ahead... not considering others and ramifications... thus they can be blind to many things... their body for one. Women on the other hand... in general consider everything and in some cases over think so many things... this is a plus at times and at other times a burden. "Oh but what if?" or "OH but what did he or she think of me?" "but does my bum look big in this?". Anyway...
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share