F55
Men, just not stepping up?
November 13 2013
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
Before answering the "To the men" question part I would also like to add to the question list "Is it easier/quicker for a man to achieve orgasm than a woman?" ... this would also possibly answer a lot as if a guy takes 5-10 mins to climax and a woman takes say 2-3 times longer, how long is a casual encounter and is there enough time for both people to get there? Just an additional bit of food for thought (may be a valid thought, may not).Now to put my "man's" 5 cents in (I miss ye old 1 and 2 cent pieces)...We men are simple beasts. The joke of "There is only enough blood to supply one head at any given time" is not so far from the truth. When jack-rabbiting away (love the RHP vernacular, thanks to JayJay), and the adrenaline is flowing, we sometimes forget our manners and it becomes a rush to joy. This is made all the more worse when a guy either just wants to rush back to the party or isn't that really into the woman and wants to get his end away. Whilst it is possible for men to have multiple orgasms and take only a few mins to come back to life, the continuation of play to fill the time and thus enable a woman to climax is less likely if there is not such a solid connection between the two people.The good news is that not all of us are like that. Some of us will spend as long as we can and so the likelihood of a woman reaching orgasm is much much higher, especially if the man takes his pleasure vicariously (i.e. actually gets of on having the woman orgasm )Men do want to be good in bed, we love having our ego's stroked, but the "casual sex" aspect reduces the likelihood that a guy will care especially if the chance of ever meeting the woman (or her friends) again is very low. Selfish I know but unfortunately selfishness is becoming a more and more common human trait.Personally I will give 100% to a casual encounter since they are worth it and 120% for that special someone. Now... just have to find one or the other So... who thinks we should run a practical workshop to asses orgasm times between men and women?SG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Dear Amicus, let's haw a race who can make themselves come the quickest! I can make muskeg come with 2 minutes if turned on enough. In any case how long it takes shouldn't matter... A person who is concerned about their liver ensures that they come! If a guy wanted to fuck me as quick as possible to go to a party? WTf? Why doesn't he just fuck a hole in the wall instead. Or are you talking about sex parties??
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RHP User
11 years ago
You would think I wrote that with one hand!! Sorry take two. Dear Amicus, let's have a race to see who can make themselves come the quickest! I can make myself come within 2 minutes if turned on enough. In any case how long it takes shouldn't matter... A person who is concerned about their lover ensures that they come.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Mind you it's not all about the orgasm anyway. Is it?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Can't say I've ever timed myself to measure the minutes/hours... so you win Meeka Whilst sex isn't all about the orgasm the SMH article kind of was... at least in the headline and the undertones of what makes sex pleasurable. Time to search for the thread covering that methinks.And as for the guy rushing back to the party... witnessed the tail end of a "carpark quickie" on the way home on Sunday morning. He had his fun and was just doing up his fly as he was walking away... she was yelling at him in some fun explicit language about being selfish. Poor woman must have missed out. (amazing what you see in the rocks down dark back alleys at 3am)And I wholeheartedly agree. "A person who is concerned about their lover ensures that they come." At least twice!SG
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
And my thought was...... try harder. After all, who would want up be someone's average sexual memory?!!!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't think a lot of guys care really. It's one of the main reasons why I don't bother to meet RHP guys for one on one experiences.
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RHP User
11 years ago
For me I usually can't be bothered with it. It's a shame that is "appears" that young women today accept it as the norm. That's really appalling if it's true. :(
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RHP User
11 years ago
Gone in 60 seconds :p- Posted from rhpmobile
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Meeka.... What you say should be read and re read. Women are more sexual beings than men..... but you won't settle for average. Given powerfully positive. And rewarding experiences, your sexuality grows and is expressed more freely. Ironically, that's what men want in a woman but they won't (or don't know how) to make it rewarding. Yes, that's sad. Make a damn effort and the universal law of reciprocity becomes your lifestyle :-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Show off! Lol. But I have to say if I am really turned on a man can make me come by just touching my clit for a few seconds. Maybe it's when I am on heat :P
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Show off! Lol. But I have to say if I am really turned on a man can make me come by just touching my clit for a few seconds. Maybe it's when I am on heat :P That's with BOB though!! Yet to meet a man that can vibrate like BOB !!!
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JessicaRabbit
11 years ago
Are the ones that you go back to for a repeat performance! Whether they succeed or not is a different question but it's the thought that counts Lol. I definitely don't just accept a guy not even attempting it though... as if i wanted to do it myself I'd just skip the effort of having to dress up and get pretty for you and stay home. My orgasm is as important as theirs. Meeka I agree with the disappointing one-on-ones comment with rhp guys: while I've met some guys that were fantastic, they seem few and far between and difficult to find amongst those in a race to get their rocks off and leave regardless of whether the woman is satisfied or not. The fact that it's more difficult and often takes longer than for a man (masturbation not included) is irrelevant. Obviously in a relationship you know how best to push each other's buttons, and if casual means a one-off experience then i can see why it doesn't happen. I prefer regular casual, which means there's no excuse for not getting to learn what works and putting it into practice. Jess Xx- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't quiet understand why you are letting these men cum before you have? No penetration til i've had at least an orgasm or two. I'm not at all pushy about it, I just lead the way, most are happy to follow my lead 😀- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's rare that I don't orgasm during sex. I tend towards casual but ongoing lovers so maybe that's why or maybe I just choose really good ones? I agree with dg and his law of reciprocal pleasure there. You get out what you put in... Or you get off when you put out... Or you get ... Whatever! Anyhooo, seems like the gods of casual sex are smiling on me, I'm one happily satisfied woman, well I would be if I could get laid daily... You can't have everything though
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's isn't really all just about coming is it? Sometimes a guy that seems to be on a mission to make you come is just as bad in some ways. So yes you can tell or show a guy how to make you come.... But quite frankly that still doesn't mean that you are loving it does it. It's the whole package, it's the way a man treats the "casual" encounter. If he is making you come because it something he is ticking of the checklist ... Meh. What ever.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have seen women come and come and come with guy after guy. I don't know how they do it?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am often disengaged... And quite frankly I can come while I am planning what to buy at the grocery store the next day. My screening technique much suck! Most likely because I hate the online thing.... Hence I have totally given up on it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I doubt guys think to themselves 'this is only casual, therefore i wont make the effort'. To me, your either a selfish lover, or your not. Mr S
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have had my fair share of casual encounters and 90% don't seem to care too much about my pleasure! Yet I have had regular lovers who even after hours of love making and numerous orgasms still insist on making me cum just once more!! Don't worry Meeka, my screening is way off also!! Out of my last 3 dates the one that I thought was not going to be any good...turned out to be fantastic!! And the other 2.....Well Jack Rabbiters cums to mind !! Thanks for reminding me Amicus!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree that it's always more about the experience than the orgasm, I just think if women stepped up and took the lead, as we know what pleases us best, we'd all have more pleasurable experiences. I believe that most men have a more enjoyable encounter if we women enjoy it. We have to help them to help us ........lest they be wandering in the dark! In the past I've had men tell me that They've experienced the best sex they've ever had with me. (Bare with me this is not me patting myself on the back....) When I questioned them on it it came down to nothing more than my enjoyment. The more I enjoyed myself the better they did. Win/win really- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nah, I think that's just me saying Yes a few times when I should have said No. Totally my fault. Otherwise, I agree and I am not backward in coming forward. :P I just haven't met anyone who has really inspired amazing passion in me for.... Well for years really. Makes me sad sometimes. Must be me....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd be stunned if you were backward in coming forward! .....or even forward in coming backwards 😀- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Women shouldn't have to settle for mediocrity, society today is to blame for men's self gratifying interest. Everything in today's social environment is available at a whim. This could be what is influencing the young men of today to see casual sexual encounters as instant sexual gratification one stop shops. Not all men are like this but it's definitely something that is ingrained in boys from a young age. Women however are portrayed as slim, light hearted sexual beings that are here just to be judged by those around them, friends family or peers. Is this why some women settle for not being pleased and just pleasing others. I like to think that the stereotypes portrayed in the media today will be broken and that all women will realize the power that the pussy holds over a lot of us men. All I can think of is the carrot dangling on end of the stick while bugs is riding a donkey. That image quickly changes into a pussy at the end of the stick while a woman is riding a guy. Ah my mind wanders, time to put that away.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' Quoting 'Meeka100'Show off! Lol. But I have to say if I am really turned on a man can make me come by just touching my clit for a few seconds. Maybe it's when I am on heat :P That's with BOB though!! Yet to meet a man that can vibrate like BOB !!! hehe... gone in 60 seconds... wonder how Vin Diesel compares to BOB
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madotara69
11 years ago
You should be looking for an old Rap/ Break dancer. One of the moves is to for example, push the hand as hard as you pull it, it starts to vibrate, then it can carry on through the rest of the body.Tara loves it.Mado Tara xx
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luvsilver
11 years ago
the 74% of woman in a committed relationship coming last sexual encounter they had. In a committed relationship both partners have a pretty good idea of what works and what does not do it for their partner. What may be a mind blowing technique for one person may be a total turn off on the next. They are completely at ease with each other. They are not so worried about whether the other one thinks they have the perfect body or not. Mr Luvsilver
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RHP User
11 years ago
Even in a short meeting I will do my best to have my partner orgasm be for I do (sex should be for her to come down) that way she might want to play again and it makes me feel a lot better knowing she enjoyed herself and not walking away thinking mmmmm yeah I'll have to Finnish that off. What a waste of time that was. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some Women won't come unless they feel totally comfortable about letting go . They need a certain level of Trust . I think Kaleidoscope has the right idea too . I love a Woman who knows how to get off . It should be a team effort . The responsibility shouldn't be placed solely on the other (especially with new Lovers). A Woman who just lies there and expects her new Lover to know exactly how to please her intricate requirements is a Woman who will probably be Unsatisfied . It really does take Two to Tango ... GG♒️- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've become quite disheartened by casual sex. It's not the only reason, and please I hope I have chosen the right words for this. I honestly feel like a failure if I haven't been able to make my partner cum. The words "you're not good enough, hang your head you pathetic excuse for a male." then ring in my head for days, drives me nuts. I would also like to add though, just offering a vagina shouldn't be seen as all you need to do either ladies. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thing is GG and SL a lot of women don't know how to get their point across, some women have never had awesome sex so they don't know the difference. They just think it must be me... Don't forget these were young people that were surveyed. One point made in the article was that nobody is taught how to have good sex or even taught how to communicate your needs. Like it's all supposed to come naturally to people to have awesome sex. Why is sex education just about the mechanics? Or have things changed? Are we teaching our daughters and sons about how to have good sex? How about some guys asking during foreplay/ sex if what they are doing is okay. Lots of people find it difficult to speak up.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I typically only have casual encounters at the sex clubs and I can say I never come unless I help myself. There just isn't enough time spent on foreplay/flirting for me but that doesn't mean I am not thoroughly enjoying myself. But of course, I am not going to the club just to shoot my load because I can do that by myself at home.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't believe there is blame to be pointed. Nor do I believe that men don't care enough about their partners pleasure though I'm sure I've read many of thread about how disappointing some are. When I was a teenager, I tried many different fist fucking techniques, stroking different parts as they tingled, to see what really did drive me wild about myself lol. Surely women have done this too?? Maybe I don't assume as much as some other men in the sense that I rely on a woman's body to tell me I've hit a nice spot, or to hear their breathing deepen with a moan of "oh my god, that feels good." I like very much to feel her skin, her hands on the back of my head or her heels pulling me in deeper. That speaks volumes without needing to verbalise as much, and I will always change my technique if :- I don't sense her body enjoying herself. Or I don't hear verbally to keep on doing THAT. *shrugs* or maybe I'm just putting too many expectations on myself to perform, or I just don't take my pleasure enough to give a damn about my partner?? I just see sex as something that should be about two people, but it takes two people to man the fuck up to enjoy it fully. Ok rant over lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I missed that last bit about men asking. But I thought most men would be inviting feedback constantly?? Or am I being weird again?? I also think that kale and mister green have a good point as well. Some women don't relax their mind enough, and men suffer this too, creates all kinds of anxiety when your mind just starts concentrating on the "I'll do this, then that, oh and after I do blah I must remember to do blah blah." As doesn't great sex also start and finish in the mind?? Am I rambling by the way?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Could be me & my friends but in 80% casual encounters, it's normal for the male to take responsibilities for the seduction, getting women comfortable, organising logistics etc etc... The Woman follows the Males lead, she's present and agreeing but not actively moving encounters forward. A tiring affair in some cases... Then when you get to the bedroom it's a similar scenario... Man takes the lead & the Woman follows. Sometimes I wonder what did she contribute other than agreeing to follow me home... Just before I take a sleeping tablet & roll over.Then you get 20% of the time... The women is activtey participating in the seduction, she might even offer a few logisitcs. You get home, fuck in a few locations around the house. You please each other, try new things, you're both activitely participating... It's a team effort!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's interesting Ballard. Can I ask do you normally see that behaviour in young women? Women tends to get more confident within themselves the older they get which of course translates to more confidence in the bedroom. I conclude that you shouldn't waste that body on young women... Just pick us oldies instead. :P But yes, women can act a little coy during the seduction, as it is a turn on when the man is confident, and flirtatious and "looks after" all the logistics of when, where and how. I do it too... I like playing the submissive woman, it's all part of the game.
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Mischeviouslad
11 years ago
Quoting 'Balllard' Could be me & my friends but in 80% casual encounters, it's normal for the male to take responsibilities for the seduction, getting women comfortable, organising logistics etc etc... The Woman follows the Males lead, she's present and agreeing but not actively moving encounters forward. A tiring affair in some cases... Then when you get to the bedroom it's a similar scenario... Man takes the lead & the Woman follows. Sometimes I wonder what did she contribute other than agreeing to follow me home... Just before I take a sleeping tablet & roll over.Then you get 20% of the time... The women is activtey participating in the seduction, she might even offer a few logisitcs. You get home, fuck in a few locations around the house. You please each other, try new things, you're both activitely participating... It's a team effort!! Thats not my experience..... so Im not going to be critical of what you've written.Yes, a man needs to lead..... he SHOULD lead.But Ive learned that when you lead in a particular manner, and ignite a womans desire and passion, and made it acceptable for her to express it.... she'll occasionally express that desire in very bold ways.Like taking you into the rear stairwell of IVY and giving you a knee trembler
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RHP User
11 years ago
Meeka, not always the younger women although your statement "Older Women" does hold some truth.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Amicus75' Quoting 'JayJay_66' Quoting 'Meeka100'Show off! Lol. But I have to say if I am really turned on a man can make me come by just touching my clit for a few seconds. Maybe it's when I am on heat :P That's with BOB though!! Yet to meet a man that can vibrate like BOB !!! hehe... gone in 60 seconds... wonder how Vin Diesel compares to BOB LOL wrong movie it was Nicolas cage but got what you meant
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't know what its like for other guys but for me its the woman that comes first (that could be a pun) I enjoy the endless kissing and caressing of every part of a woman the going down on a woman running my tongue over that smooth silky clitoris and the hood until she say stop sucking on the breast to get them erect and pinching them lightly between my teeth the moaning is such a turn on massaging the inner G spot until she can no longer lay still and stopping just be for the stars come out then start all over again God its enough to make me go before I even get my pants off
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RHP User
11 years ago
Clearly she had gamer level: too fast too furious!!! With bob I mean ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
To feel a woman cum is incredable..the look in her eyes and see her pleasure and the way her body shudders... Wow who wouldnt want that!!! I know i do..I think its important to be good in bed casual or not We want to be good at everything else..career, driving hobby, sports etc So why not in bed Meeka there has to be more of us lads out there whom know how the treat a woman!! must be Maybe there might be some out there whom only want to put another notch in the belt so to speak Their loss I think... casual sex and one night stands doent need to be mediocre it should have all the fire that a relationship has. I think good sex and being good in bed is a culmination of the whole lot of things and it comes back to meeka's point on effort..put in and you will be rewarded with good sex and much more Put the effort in and find the many spots on a womans body that can get her withering in ecstasy.. be attentive and not selfish..sense her pleasure, feel her body react to you passion....a desire, that spark, its In us all.... its no embarrassment to be shown what each other likes somethimes cos only you know what realy gets you hot..share, play and have good sex Meeka you are absolutly right we should all be having much more fun
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RHP User
11 years ago
was only ever achieved with my ex husband when in love. I can cum with my clit when effort is put in but it rarely is. I think emotions do help and comfort also but I also think the lack of effort is more to blame. I have found a lot of guys all talk, how much they love to please a woman and he won't stop until I am satisfied, can keep up... yeah right! The bullshit factor is killing it for guys who do care. I am just sick of hearing it, less talk, more action. I am a person who doesn't like to do things by halves so I like to put in some effort and I would be ashamed of myself if I was a terrible root. I think some of it comes down to personality, some people do, some don't, we know all the gunna's out there when it comes to doing anything, I assume sex would be the same.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I'm not getting what I want, flip the guy over and I will use him, funny nobody has complained as yet lol
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On_Safari
11 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' If I'm not getting what I want, flip the guy over and I will use him, funny nobody has complained as yet lol You can't hear the muffles when you're sitting on their faces!!!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I have seen women come and come and come with guy after guy. I don't know how they do it? its called faking it
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm six foot tall Meeka :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
So apologies if someone has added this point of view... I haven't been through a casual sex scenario ever so can't speak personally on that part. But one of the biggest turn ons in sex to me is making sure the woman is 'satisfied'. I love seeing her cum, it's a huge buzz for me. I aim to please. So I'd like to think if physically possible, all my future encounters the woman is going leave satisfied. Now whether there's any emotional boundaries that I can't break through, well so be it. But I vow to put my best into it. I know there's a few times where my first GF hadn't cum, but apart from the first couple of awkward weeks getting it on, it was by her choice to tell me to stop - otherwise i'd have happily continued.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'hiatusfornow' I don't quiet understand why you are letting these men cum before you have? No penetration til i've had at least an orgasm or two. I'm not at all pushy about it, I just lead the way, most are happy to follow my lead 😀 - Posted from rhpmobile Hi Hiatus... My question... and view exactly. I don't generally like to 'jump in' until my Lady has cum at least once... And I've been like that since I was in my 20's. I want to be the man that they remember as the one who 'plays fair'... You get as much ball as I do when you play on my team (excuse the pun)... I think, if the article is a true indication of the results (or many young college women were not overly honest (for whatever reason)... I'd say it has more to do with the fact that they are College 'boys' we're talking about. Consequently, still 'fumbling' there way around and the girl doesn't have much to offer in the way of advice. Comparing College students (18 - 22) is of no appreciable god at all. Sex, intimacy and love are things we DO need to learn and, as in most things, experience will win out all the time... Not necessarily 'age' just time spent and also attention paid while spending the time...
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RHP User
11 years ago
why a guy would be so intent on a race to the finish with little or no thought to a lady. Isn't there a proverb along the lines of 'the path to a lady's contentment is 1,000 orgasms long' ? If there isn't, there should be. C
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'allsorts72' Quoting 'Meeka100' I have seen women come and come and come with guy after guy. I don't know how they do it? its called faking it I've seen it too ;-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
:-)
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RHP User
10 years ago
I tend to agree with Amicus on several points, the encounter type and location has a large bearing on satisfaction levels. There are many guy's out there that just want to get their end away, so will put it into anyone, this drops expectation levels as well as care factors and so the woman does just become a receptacle! Yes, men are pigs! But there is hope ladies, as Am said, we are not all like that! Men should enjoy making their woman cum first it has so many flow on benefits! I personally am over "casual encounters" due to requiring some sort of connection to have decent sex.Decent sex should be that both people walk away satisfied and want to come back for more, even if that doesn't happen at least its memorable! This also begs the question, do you have to orgasm to have decent sex? Personally I dont think so, again depends on varying factors. Sometimes just a good hard quickie is awesome, and for me usually leads to something bigger later on! However we taint it though, we men need to be more in tune with our sexual partners needs, wants and desires!If we can do that, perhaps they would want us more and finding sex wouldn't be as hard as it has been!
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RHP User
10 years ago
I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball'
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chevtrek
10 years ago
The secret to sex and real hot sex is put her first explore her mind and bodyand she will give back twice as much. Damn I could have sworn it was 2014 not 1714.
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RHP User
10 years ago
. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
of the men not having an orgasm? Sounds like dodgy sex to us lol Is anyone concerned with the 20% ?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'MeAgain7' I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball' Sorry, but how many men in their 30's, 40's and 50's have you slept with on a causal or on one night basis? In all honesty, you would be surprised at how selfish some men are in bed with they think it is a one off, or a hook up. Which is what the survey was saying. So, sorry but the MEN stays.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'MeAgain7' I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball' Sorry, but how many men in their 30's, 40's and 50's have you slept with on a causal or on one night basis? In all honesty, you would be surprised at how selfish some men are in bed with they think it is a one off, or a hook up. Which is what the survey was saying. So, sorry but the MEN stays. I wasn't using my lack of experience with sleeping with men to make a point... Merely pointing out that were using a very 'dubious' demographic example to make their point. It may well be true (for many or most men) but I just don't think a study with teenagers (or barely) can be used to make a 'sweeping generalization' about men in general. You're right, it may well be true, but the example doesn't exactly cover much of the population... Just sayin'...
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RHP User
10 years ago
A few possibilities that might skew those results... 1. If the sample group was young people, then probably a lot of this casual sex occurred while they were, as Jello Biafra poetically put it, too drunk to fuck... 2. maybe all the guys who are shit in bed don't get asked back for a second go, while the ones who are good get snapped up, which would leave a lot of dud roots out there perpetuating the casual sex = shit sex dynamic... or possibly most men are selfish fucktards who are crap in bed....
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RHP User
10 years ago
The 'Study' aside. As you say... I don't have the experience of sleeping with men... period... Be it 'one off's' or long term, whatever... So I can only speak for myself. In doing so, I can only say that my pride would dictate that I gave as much attention and as much time and concentration on her needs as I would if it were under ANY circumstances. I do hope that most men here have that same pride and self-consciousness' to do the same. But I can see how a young, teenager or near to, may not have learnt that yet... Hopefully time does teach and temper the 'nature of the beast' (which was, in our formative era's, many ions ago, to 'propagate' the species... As I said... "I HOPE"
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erotictouch4u
10 years ago
Quoting 'JessicaRabbit' Meeka I agree with the disappointing one-on-ones comment with rhp guys: while I've met some guys that were fantastic, they seem few and far between and difficult to find amongst those in a race to get their rocks off and leave regardless of whether the woman is satisfied or not. Pretty young boys will do that, always looking for the next notch.Age not only gains experience but respect.ET xox
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Seachange
10 years ago
Quoting 'MeAgain7' Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'MeAgain7' I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball' Sorry, but how many men in their 30's, 40's and 50's have you slept with on a causal or on one night basis? In all honesty, you would be surprised at how selfish some men are in bed with they think it is a one off, or a hook up. Which is what the survey was saying. So, sorry but the MEN stays. I wasn't using my lack of experience with sleeping with men to make a point... Merely pointing out that were using a very 'dubious' demographic example to make their point. It may well be true (for many or most men) but I just don't think a study with teenagers (or barely) can be used to make a 'sweeping generalization' about men in general. You're right, it may well be true, but the example doesn't exactly cover much of the population... Just sayin'... I stand by Meeka. there are a lot of MEN (30s-50s) who behave is such a fashion. Just saying too.... experience counts.
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Seachange
10 years ago
Quoting 'MeAgain7' The 'Study' aside. As you say... I don't have the experience of sleeping with men... period... Be it 'one off's' or long term, whatever... So I can only speak for myself. In doing so, I can only say that my pride would dictate that I gave as much attention and as much time and concentration on her needs as I would if it were under ANY circumstances. I do hope that most men here have that same pride and self-consciousness' to do the same. But I can see how a young, teenager or near to, may not have learnt that yet... Hopefully time does teach and temper the 'nature of the beast' (which was, in our formative era's, many ions ago, to 'propagate' the species... As I said... "I HOPE" You advertising?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Quoting 'MeAgain7' The 'Study' aside. As you say... I don't have the experience of sleeping with men... period... Be it 'one off's' or long term, whatever... So I can only speak for myself. In doing so, I can only say that my pride would dictate that I gave as much attention and as much time and concentration on her needs as I would if it were under ANY circumstances. I do hope that most men here have that same pride and self-consciousness' to do the same. But I can see how a young, teenager or near to, may not have learnt that yet... Hopefully time does teach and temper the 'nature of the beast' (which was, in our formative era's, many ions ago, to 'propagate' the species... As I said... "I HOPE" You advertising? No, not at all (not sure if it was a joke?)... But I am saying how I feel and how I act. It may well be true and I believe 100% what Meeka and yourself are saying. If you've had that experience, I say it's a sad indictment of men today... Especially in these times when there is no lack of access to information or any taboos. The information any man needs is either lying next to them, waiting to be asked, or available in millions of websites online. There's no excuse for any 'grown man' to plead ignorance when it comes to not knowing what to do or how to find out about women, their feelings, needs, complaints and whatever else he may need to know what's 'basically' (I said basically) required to begin the journey towards 'mutually' satisfying sex, making love or just plain fucking... As I said, if you can't or won't look for the info and ideas, at least be considerate enough to be curious and ASK!!! That said... I CAN understand how an 18, 19, 20 year old college student would be so selfish (as children are... All you mother's know that), to be too wrapped up in their own pleasure to be bothered about the girl... who may well not be fully aware of what she wants or needs either, or just be unable to express it... I don't know. I other words, all I am doing is questioning the demographic used. Even if men in general ARE as they have determined, I don't think the 'STUDY' is the proof of it.... Meeka's and your experience is the proof of it.... Ta...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'MeAgain7' Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'MeAgain7' I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball' Sorry, but how many men in their 30's, 40's and 50's have you slept with on a causal or on one night basis? In all honesty, you would be surprised at how selfish some men are in bed with they think it is a one off, or a hook up. Which is what the survey was saying. So, sorry but the MEN stays. I wasn't using my lack of experience with sleeping with men to make a point... Merely pointing out that were using a very 'dubious' demographic example to make their point. It may well be true (for many or most men) but I just don't think a study with teenagers (or barely) can be used to make a 'sweeping generalization' about men in general. You're right, it may well be true, but the example doesn't exactly cover much of the population... Just sayin'... plenty of middle aged men to justify the survey. I think in this demographic, a lot of men have been through failed marriages, are still bitter and want to make up for lost time from a bitch of a wife who spent all his money and didn't put out then took him to the cleaner...so fuck the next bitch who comes along, I am going to take what I can get from her without all the bullshit. The mentality is that they don't want the 'headfuck' and they don't want to put their hearts on the line because it is much easier to just 'have (really shitty) fun'.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I wholeheartly agree with your last statement. "plenty of middle aged men to justify the survey. I think in this demographic, a lot of men have been through failed marriages, are still bitter and want to make up for lost time from a bitch of a wife who spent all his money and didn't put out then took him to the cleaner...so fuck the next bitch who comes along, I am going to take what I can get from her without all the bullshit. The mentality is that they don't want the 'headfuck' and they don't want to put their hearts on the line because it is much easier to just 'have (really shitty) fun'. " Sadly that is true... I have walked in those shoes of the woman who came along - and shitty it was. They automatically class women as the "bitch of a wife", and miss out when a good woman does come along, they put her through shitty fun alright. Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
Ralf, I am one of the many men who have been/going through a failed marriage. Yes you are right when you say I don't want the "headfuck", as I have been getting that for over 20 years. Am I bitter? Not as much as I was 12 months ago! ;-) Do I want to put my heart on the line? No I don't, Not just yet. Give me time and things might change. Do I treat women any different because of my failed marriage? No I do not. I treat them with the respect they deserve. As for sex, the few times I have been lucky enough to be with a woman since the breakup, I have and will always ensure the woman is pleasured as much as possible. I find watching a woman orgasm is one of the most erotic experiences a man can do. The end. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' Quoting 'MeAgain7' Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'MeAgain7' I haven't had time to read all the posts, so forgive me if this is already on the table. It's after 1 am. The article indicates "College Students" that I would say haven't learnt a lot of control, not to mention the niceties and the purpose of this wonderful thing we do... So, I don't think the term "MEN' can be used fairly in the headline.... Better to use the term Teenagers or Adolescents (even if some are early 20's), as that's where they got their figures... I do think that's a reasonable argument that debunks the entire study, IF they are attempting to portray 'MEN' in general as being selfish in certain areas and not 'on the ball' Sorry, but how many men in their 30's, 40's and 50's have you slept with on a causal or on one night basis? In all honesty, you would be surprised at how selfish some men are in bed with they think it is a one off, or a hook up. Which is what the survey was saying. So, sorry but the MEN stays. I wasn't using my lack of experience with sleeping with men to make a point... Merely pointing out that were using a very 'dubious' demographic example to make their point. It may well be true (for many or most men) but I just don't think a study with teenagers (or barely) can be used to make a 'sweeping generalization' about men in general. You're right, it may well be true, but the example doesn't exactly cover much of the population... Just sayin'... plenty of middle aged men to justify the survey. I think in this demographic, a lot of men have been through failed marriages, are still bitter and want to make up for lost time from a bitch of a wife who spent all his money and didn't put out then took him to the cleaner...so fuck the next bitch who comes along, I am going to take what I can get from her without all the bullshit. The mentality is that they don't want the 'headfuck' and they don't want to put their hearts on the line because it is much easier to just 'have (really shitty) fun'. ralf Middle age Women do this too not just men. I've been looking for a relationship always treated women with respect, I've pretty much given up on the idea of finding a woman that does not behave like this. 3 relationships and all 3 have treated me just as you mentioned. as has been said women and men are just as bad as each other
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
People treat you how you let them.... if you are self aware and observant enough o spot traits in people BEFORE you decide to embark on any kind of relationship.... you've saved yourself a whole lotta trouble. RIGHT?!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' People treat you how you let them.... if you are self aware and observant enough o spot traits in people BEFORE you decide to embark on any kind of relationship.... you've saved yourself a whole lotta trouble. RIGHT?!! Yep. But unfortunately you usually have to be burned a few times, or at least once, before you get it. We can't all be born pussy whisperers.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You have totally missed the point. Those guys don't want to learn about women or what turns them on. They don't want to spend too much energy on it because is is a casual or one night thing. They don't care what the woman thinks about it or them. Their sole purpose is to have sex & have an orgasm. If the woman has an orgasm too, well that is just a bonus and obviously something they don't take any responsibility for. The whole study, article is based on casual hook ups only. Their emotions and any talents they have in the bedroom are usually for regular lovers, ergo people they care about. Capisce?
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RHP User
10 years ago
plenty of middle aged men to justify the survey. I think in this demographic, a lot of men have been through failed marriages, are still bitter and want to make up for lost time from a bitch of a wife who spent all his money and didn't put out then took him to the cleaner...so fuck the next bitch who comes along, I am going to take what I can get from her without all the bullshit. The mentality is that they don't want the 'headfuck' and they don't want to put their hearts on the line because it is much easier to just 'have (really shitty) fun'. ralf Middle age Women do this too not just men. I've been looking for a relationship always treated women with respect, I've pretty much given up on the idea of finding a woman that does not behave like this. 3 relationships and all 3 have treated me just as you mentioned. as has been said women and men are just as bad as each other I was referring to the study. It wasn't asking about women's perceived performance, which I would love to hear about all the starfish and headfucks out there but that is my perspective on men from my experience.
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RHP User
10 years ago
The more people rely on survey results and statistics to get a gauge on sex, the more they go away from the reality of sex. The more people try and over analyse sex, the more complicated finding sex will become for them, not matter how much of a great catch they think they are :) The one thing about any survey or statistic regarding sex is, no matter what answer people give, the answer will actually depend on who is standing next to them at the time of the survey. Do people honestly think that a man or woman that has slept with over 50 people will admit that in front of their new partner when asked ? We all know the answer is no, so what good are sexual survey results when the majority don't give an honest answer ? The answer is, they aren't worth the paper they are printed on and should never be quoted or used as a credible source. But to be fair, you did admit it was from the SMH, and it wouldn't be the first time they have dedicated page space to survey results based on the answers of people either over or under exaggerating, while ignoring the real issues concerning the planet. And it wouldn't be the first time that they have asked a small group of people and took that as an average despite the majority not being asked. Its funny how they can come up with such exact figure to a decimal point, yet it's an average from a survey Lol. It's even funnier how people still fall for it ???????
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Epondog' Ralf, I am one of the many men who have been/going through a failed marriage. Yes you are right when you say I don't want the "headfuck", as I have been getting that for over 20 years. Am I bitter? Not as much as I was 12 months ago! ;-) Do I want to put my heart on the line? No I don't, Not just yet. Give me time and things might change. Do I treat women any different because of my failed marriage? No I do not. I treat them with the respect they deserve. As for sex, the few times I have been lucky enough to be with a woman since the breakup, I have and will always ensure the woman is pleasured as much as possible. I find watching a woman orgasm is one of the most erotic experiences a man can do. The end. - Posted from rhpmobile I 'd hope that most men who've been through any kind of 'hard time' with one woman (be it wife or otherwise), would have the same view as Ralf and Myself and treat each lady as someone else who deserves all we have. If the experiences that the ladies describe is 'widespread' (in and out of RHP), I'd say many men need a wake up call and a little bit of empathy.
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RHP User
10 years ago
My mistake... I used your name, when I was referring to Epondog's quote... Sorry...
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Mischeviouslad
10 years ago
Actually, Von.... 24000 is a significantly larger sample than most surveys use.... but you go right ahead and have a dig at uncle Rupert, eh! The larger a sample size, the lower the acceptable margin for error percentage.IE 500 people, margin for error has been calculated at 4.5%5000 = 1.4%10000 = 1.0% So.... IF you accept that people answered honestly, which is unmeasurable, (and ignore the "confidence level" issue of statistics) then the survey is very accurate. The issue I have is that it only interviewed college students..... which is not a full cross section of the sexually active society, so applying the result across the entire population is where its accuracy is totally questionable.
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madotara69
10 years ago
I would imagine a college student being asked if they had slept with 50 people, would wear it like a badge, with little concern for who they may be with ATM. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' I would imagine a college student being asked if they had slept with 50 people, would wear it like a badge, with little concern for who they may be with ATM. Mado Mado Tara xx LOL... You're definitely right as far as the young men are concerned, but I think the girls would still be pretty guarded and not admit to anywhere near that number... But then, I'm not really up to scratch with the age group... Even all my kids are at least 15 years too old to even tell me the attitudes to 'multiple lays' among young women, these days...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' The issue I have is that it only interviewed college students..... which is not a full cross section of the sexually active society, so applying the result across the entire population is where its accuracy is totally questionable. My continuing point exactly... The demographic (in this case meaning the limited age group) cannot be applied accurately to men 'in general' (as it only includes people aged from 18 to say... 22). BUT AS I'VE SAID AND AGREED... The opinions of those ladies who have had the experiences they recount with men, that match this study, are valid and it is true that there are many men who are this selfish... It's just that the study isn't the proof of it, the ladies experiences are.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Any study of college students from America is debatable in implicating its findings to the broader commmunity, particular young men who have discovered their sex education through the porn industry. Extrapolating data has limitations and this study has many that I see without even reading the actual test procedures they followed. But if the aim is to blame men, noting that happens frequently on the forums, for not pleasing their partners then this study would correlate with the intended outcome. Sexual gratification ending in orgasm is dependent on only 1 person, you, the individual... no one can force one or conjure up an orgasm out of another. We as a partner can only aid that person to fulfillment. I would suggest find a study that involves people of mixed backgrounds, across a broad spectrum of ages and see what the outcome was in those... I would suggest a difference will be noticed.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Why can't some women take (a bit of) responsibility for their own pleasure. Now, just to be clear, I'm a giver not a receiver (yes, really) and have sometimes gone home 'shoot free' - after giving several times over (I enjoy the edge sometimes) but I really get turned on if it's proving to be difficult and she gets going on herself or actively contributes to the finish..Haven't had the pleasure that many times but when she gets her groove on it is a Total turn on for me and I love to kiss and pamper, stroke her hair, or spank to add to her fun..Now I'm not a massive dirty talker, but when the self guided love train has occurred, I have encouraged and let the lady know exactly how hot I find it!.Takes a (potentially) ordinary situation and turns it into a winner..Of course I know it may not be for everybody, and I've only self pleasured myself with a woman a couple of time because I feel a bit 'exposed' (or even selfish) but it is on my list to share both sides of the lending hand in future for sure.
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