M50 F46
Men of the world
October 02 2009
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
I just shed a tear for you.......seriously though you are right. I have a tight group of girls that I mix with regularly, chat on the phone, facebook etc and a slightly wider circle for that girls night out. As a group we often chat about the men in our lives who like you don't seem to have that circle of friends. What amazes us the most is that our partners all get along very well but can't seem to organise a male catch up or build the friendships past us. They all do still keep in contact with some school friends but it is mostly bucks nights, weddings never a catch up just cause they can or someone they can call when they need something. Why is this? Who knows I am looking forward to the responses to your question. K.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hoy mate, I missed you bro.. hehe.. but I don't do facebook. This is why I enjoy sex with men. (everything centres around sex mate, that's where you are going wrong :p) Straight guys think it's all about getting off.... but for me at least, I think I rather enjoy the companionship involved in getting off together. You know, a few guys just hanging out together and doing the things that they enjoy the most without inhibition. That's the kicker. Inhibitions. Doing what women expect of us, or rather keeping up the competition agasint each other for them instead of going about our business like the King of the Jungle. Of the numerous encounters I've had like this, i.e. m/m... some are really very memorable.... and most of those memorable moments don't involve any sort of penetration, but plenty of passion and prolonged emotional bonding. Most men don't do that often enough or at all. It's gay or something... lolz. Well I'm here to tell you if it is gay, then it's bloody good anyway... lolz.. so fukit. Like you Andy, I have mates from high school living nearby. But you don't spill your guts to them. Nope. They like gossip too much. So I stumbled upon a "boyfriend" ~ just someone I met one day in the dark about a year ago but we connected... we prob each other up in times of need... like last night for instance... I went out to have the time of my life only to get very depressed (see my post about gangbangs)... so I got on my bike and was riding around the city like a hooligan until I pulled over and phoned him... we met for coffee... had a good laugh reminiscing about all the dud roots we've shared, talked nonsense, told lies, had some nachos and a Kebab. Stuff like that. Beer should be free.. or at the very least subsidised. I mean, there's talk about it for tampons. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
15 years ago
I don't know how any other chicks are, but I don't have close girlfriends up here. I find it very hard to spill my guts to people I don't know very well. For you, Andy, the stigma of dealing with your own problems and being the tough guy, it must be hard. I had an operation, and I haven't had a single person really make any sorta effort to see how I am. Occassionally on Facebook, someone will say, how you doing. People are busy I guess. We have lost the art of feeling.... if it doesn't relate directly to the individual, it doesn't matter. I knew I felt to much Gaz...tampons are GST free already....
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RHP User
15 years ago
I'd much rather it was you, but Gaz is right... I remember the uproar over it when the GST was first introduced. I've seen Coles advertising that we can get GST free tampons there in the last few weeks in WA Nice post Andy... I'd like to put more time into answering it but for now... I can tell you we had a major event in our life a few weeks ago that I mentioned in the forums not long after. We told only one 'friend' at the time who responded not to ask how things were but to criticise me that I let it worry me and more! I've only told one other 'friend' since then who was wonderful. Very recently, we've added a few friends on RHP and made contact to say hi lol and had one get back to us to ask how things had gone... I was so touched! Even more touching was learning that this female guest had tried (unsuccessfully) to use her one free weekly message to make contact with us just to ask how we were. I thought that was incredibly sweet.The point... friends aren't all they're cracked up to be in my experience, I could tell you some stories that'd turn you grey lolol. I'm not entirely cynical, I live in eternal hope that I've learned to choose better friends this time. So far so good CheersMrs P
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RHP User
15 years ago
lead a positive and fulfilling life. What you sow is what you reap.Get out in the real world and give of yourself.Also take a look around you there are people who suffer every single day, your life aint nothing to cry about. I think that it would be right to assume that you do not live in a third world war torn country, you do not have missing limbs or suffer from a terminal disease.In so many ways you can reach out to people, they are found in the volunteer organisations. In my life I have found this is where the most beautiful humans are.Other than that what about joining the PTA, coaching your sons sports teams, working at the RSPCA, SES, join a political party, help your neighbours, volunteer fireman, whatever and dont give me no crap about thats not what you would like to do or I dont like doing this or that, at least try. You may be pleasantly surprised.You are what you do every single day. Obviously you are not trying hard enough.and if you think this is the only solution, this online bizzo, it aint.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Is it a modern society thing - all too busy to really share ourselves with each other? Is it the old fashion men don't cry thing? Is it an Aussie culture thing? Do French men actually talk with each other? I think it's a bit of all of the above. We have a very small group of close friends that we can be open, honest and truely caring of but with work and kids and distance and and and we really don't get to spend a lot of time together. Damn my closest mate lives the other side of the world! Traveling around europe and talking to many locals I found men to be much more caring about each other, the old mens club/network thing is still alive and well - not so in Oz BUT we are all the same and all seek meaningful friendships so the stereotypes can be broken, just open yourself to all your mates and new interesting people and choose to foster the ones that open their doors for you too. Gee every response i've seen today from I_Watch_Yous seems filled with vitriol? I agree with her suggestions re places to find good people but sometimes people aren't in the right place to sow and reap what they really need. It's a part of living our cushy, easy life that removes some of this zest. The least alone I have ever felt was on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere living with the natives!!!
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RHP User
15 years ago
The problem is that we get all wrapped up in our own little worlds, but don't take the time to make sure the acquaintances or people we actually do call friends are really doing fine. Heaven forbid we as men show emotion outside of "Hey honey, isn't it time to fuck yet? I am really horny.". Try moving halfway across the world and not know anyone. I always thought of myself as someone who could stand alone without too much problem but didn't really figure out that standing alone means being truly lonely. Only when I actually isolated myself did my understanding of what this means come to fruition. Then when you figure out you need to find some friends and have a meaningful conversation, none are around to find. Of course, you try to express any of this sort of sentiment to a male acquaintance whom you have recently met and it's "What, are you some kind of squishy guy? Get the hell away from me.".Oh, and BTW. If you are wondering if it is any different in the States, the answer is no. Same old shit. Unless you have basically grown up with a mate, you rarely have the sort of relationship where you can discuss deep psychological help-me type issues. I am at least fortunate to have 2 of those friends in my life. The kinds of guys that if you pick up the phone and say "I'm in deep shit" they would drop everything to help. Unfortunately, they are half a world away.Andy, I do not know what the answer is other than to try and find yourself some other friends (and I am struggling with this big time). Volunteering is not necessarily a bad idea, but a bit difficult if you are short on time. Other options include possibly taking a CC Class on some hobby of interest. At least there you can be in a non-Alcohol environment and discuss something of a mutual interest. I suspect as we (guys) age we have a tendency to drop all the macho bullshit to some extent, at least that is what I keep telling myself. Once that is out of the way, exploration of ones true feelings doesn't seem to be quite as scary.Good luck on this one...and if you come up with any ideas, I am all ears.One CrazyAmericanYES I AM... out of my mind.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Everything to do with our life is our doing. Whatever it takes you got to make it right for yourself. The place you are is the place you put yourself.One life one opportunityTake ownership of your life.Kisses little oneMisty
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RHP User
15 years ago
Get a Shed ! . With lots of new tools ... no = one knows how to use ... . Invite a few prospects over .. for a demonstration & hands on learning !! . That'll get ya bleeding . . :) Tonque in cheek . # shed meets for a common interest (think 1 up) monthly for 4 hours works ... . smiles N take care .
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RHP User
15 years ago
Have thoughts to contribute on this one, but its been one of those nights, the voddy is flowing and its random music night, a million flashbacks and thoughts run though my head. But Andys poser is oh so valid, so when i am a little more coherent. cheers NevPs when is 34yo middle aged?...just a pup! i guess its all relative!
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RHP User
15 years ago
Dude... i dont know u as i am new to forums.... but i read another of yr posts.... and mate.....i totally hear you and agree with everything you have said.......... but i have got to go with your other friends on this one..... you gotta build a bridge on this...... lol ...... Mate... with the treat that Sals giving u ....what on earth have you got to complain about.... lol im not saying sex there is to a persons total happiness ...but it sure as fucking helps pmsl.... Tell you what ... my advice is ... chin up mate... each day at a time until you can sense the sweet aroma of fanny juices in yr dreams again ...... and from then on you'll be right as rain.......lol Sal...... if u read this....... can you help andy out in his time of need??? lol... he seems a bit down atm (I know.... we havent communicated yet - I'm new from chat room land lol) - but from andys post u seem like the youd love making his dreams smell sweet :p lol 2b :) & :p lol
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hey Andy, I think you made a very good point but its not just the males that this happens to and Frack Me hun, I hear ya loud and clear. Hope your recovering well from your op. I am finding things extremely difficult of late.....hard to get any response from anyone in the chat rooms and cant figure out why.....wonders what is wrong with me when I cant get any convo happening in the chat room especially if I am on cam, or get so many lame excuses as to why the guy doesnt want to meet. ...wonders if I am past the use by date!!!!!! I recently moved in May one week after I had surgery on my hip and with a child in tow and finding it extremely difficult to meet new people and make new friends. I wonder what the statistics are for womens suicide andy coz it aint just you.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hi Andy,have read with interest your post and some of the responses...there is no real right response...rather, by gathering a host of ideas you can then pick and choose which ones will help you...of course...i_watch_yous gave some great ideas...often when we feel down and let's face it, we all do at some point, we need something to kick-start us again, no?...women do it by talking and talking and talking...this is a great thing, but men are meant to be strong and deal with it in their own way...a product of our upbringing, well mine certainly, i still hear my dad..."Jose, u got to be tough and strong and find a way to deal with it, without help from other people!"...well, a hard thing to break away from...but never mind that...For a real dose of reality, to give you the shake that you need when you are down, get out and see what REAL deprivation is, what REAL depression is...i can heartily recommend a local Salvation Army food kitchen and you will soon, very, very soon see that you have nothing to feel down about...Self-pity and introspection does nothing for oneself...then we, as a person, needs to see past our own selfishness and move on......unless it is something disastrous such as a child or sibling or parent having something awful happen to them....hope this helps...remember that for every bad day you have, you will have 10 great days!!...so if you are having a bad day, know that it will get better, and if you are having a good day, don't be greedy and take too much...Phew...hope this was not too heavy...cheers and have an awesome weekendJose...
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RHP User
15 years ago
Some very interesting responses for this post, most had some great ways of dealing with those feelings of depression. Certainly, there are people in the world, in our city, in our towns in fact, whose pain and situations can make our own seem insignificant, but I think it's unjust to come out and tell someone that what they're feeling isn't real to them.......that they just aren't trying hard enough.......or that their life isn't something to cry about.....to them, in that situation, it may seem and feel like their world is a very dark place.While I agree that self pity doesn't do anything for anyone, introspection can be a good thing sometimes. It can make us see that we have two choices.......to lay down, be a victim and let the waves of darkness wash over us..... or to jump out of the hole we're in and show the world what we're made of. But sometimes that hole is just a little too deep and we do need a helping hand, or some kind words of encouragement to scramble our way out of it. And while some may say that everything to do with our life is our doing, I don't think this is always true......some things just come out of left field and we have no control over them........but what we DO have control over, is the way we deal with them........the way we can get back up, dust ourselves down and get on with life again......with or without help. Have a beautiful weekend. H xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Andy, am I wrong ... you don't seem depressed to me? You seem philosophical and enquiring. For what it's worth I've observed what you've described among men for a long time. It seems to me that men are pretty good at being 'maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaates' but not always so good at being friends. I'm generalising, so men please don't slam me.My marriage ended after 13 years together. We're still very good friends though he's having a tough time adjusting, mainly because for 13 years I was the only person he shared his innermost thoughts and feelings with. Right now he's feeling very isolated and disconnected, with no real friends to turn to.I can't speak for other women, but certainly in my marriage it always felt like a little bit of a burden that he relied so much on me. I wanted him to have mates, an active social life outside of our relationship etc. He did that through work, but of course that was pretty convenient. The thing about men having male friends, from what I can see, is that it takes work, planning, commitment, intention, follow through - the relationships need to be maintained and grown overtime just like any other relationship. I wonder why so many men don't seem to want to put the time into maintaining their friendships.Also, I think that just like any other relationship, some people like to be kind of superficial , some people like to connect really deeply and really know each other. Andy, maybe you need to look for men in different places, men who are more interested in being true friends rather than 'maaaaaaaaaaaaates'. Haha, this is such a girly response to a blokes question ... too funny!fussy xxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
"..such a girly response to such a to a blokes questions..." ..... lol indeed fussy... and to such a non blokey qusetion to .... too funny :) 2b :)
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RHP User
15 years ago
Well my new found friends. I want you all to know that I"m on facebook as Salandy... and am happy to have coffee with guys and girls. Thank you 2ballons nice goatee :) but although sal does arrange sexy moments, it's like fast food, one the moment is passed what then :) lilmiss fussy nail on the head with philosophical and enquiring nice ass by the way Muso, i love your tats and a nice heart felt response. come and get me, I'm having a better day know, you philosphy must be correct. Gaz if you think we should have a bromance - perhaps you and I should write an article together and RHP can post it. I'm not sure you and I could do it, but perhaps you could take me to your gym that's sounded like fun!!! Be my wing man, hold my balls as i get sorted out in a glory hole!!! god you have turned me gay... BASTARD!!! Hot wired, can't get a shed I'm renting - nice pants :P crazy american, you sound not so crazy but a nice guy... if only you were closer. peachy pear xxx lots of love to you all, Sorry if i missed anyone
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RHP User
15 years ago
Not gay...gaz you can't steal my man :P Hehe, thanks everyone for your words and thoughts here. I love being with Andy, even though he is bloody hard work ;) I would love nothing more than for him to have friends that he can open to and hang out with. He knows all this though. We have been what changed all this and it is hard to feel somewhat responsible for our problems with friends. We have not been accepted as a couple by very many people becasue we started as an affair. We wnt out the other night to a friends birthday and the whole evening was just so strained. We went to CI, were welcomed with a smile and realised we felt at home there....maybe we are trying to keep friends that are not right for us or simply looking in the wrong places. Andy, I hope you find the friends you need and deserve, dont be too hasty though to push away the ones that are here (no I don't mean me) i mean the ones in the UK. We both have been guilty for not nurturing our friendships, I am sure everyone has at some point. maybe extend an olive branch, just one last time and if it does not work then move on. You never know though, it could strengthen those weakened of late and you could find yourself richer than ever in the friend department. xx Salina
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RHP User
15 years ago
hehe.... I dont think the gay community would accept that anyone can turn "gay".... you have to be born that way buddy... so that means you and I are safe... hehe... cause we like rooting chicks... lolz... so here's what you do.... next time you are at the gym.... today I guess, you shower with your cubicle door open.... hehe... it's a rouse.... now.... occasionally someone will enter the shower cubicle opposite you, and they will see you there, the handsome jug that you are... tenderly washing your giggly bits... and they will either close thier door :( ... or leave their door ajar :)... or completely open :P... hhehe... and that's the secret signal... well, not so secret.. but it's a signal... and you might notice them notice you.... washing your giggly bits... a lot. Sometimes this leads to a frantic circle jerk, especially when otehr guys arrive in other nearby cubicles... but thats pretty rare in my experience... what's fun is sneaking into the cubicle adjoining and presing your willy against the screen.... then turning around... bending over.. pressing your wang back agasint the screen... and slowly sliding down... until you are squatting..... that's when the fun really starts.... cause hands wander underneathe the screen.... Of course, it's even more frantic when you sneak into his cubicle.... hehe... at this time, you realise that the activity is completely frought with danger... quesitonable behaviour that it is... you risk losing your membership and have to find another good gym... you also risk being caught at it by some 110kg homophobic beefcake... lolz... but at least if there are two of you.. you can take him on... lolz. So, you want to pick times when there isn't a huge crowd but also times when there are enough guys .. one of whom is also bursting at the seams with testosterone from a hard workout and who recognises that the feeling of warm water on his back.. and a soapy hand on his dick... and the sight of another guy with half a mongrel obviously thinking the same thing.... isn't to hung up about tossing off in company, just for the heck of it. I like to wear a hoodie when training.... because my gym must be the only gym in Australia with bouncers at the door to keep the bikies under control.... so, I'll see you there, bro... maybe we can do some bench presses and have a steam...... oh... and a shower. Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
15 years ago
Andy, reading your post was like going to my little Bro's house and seeing how his life has gone.....all the mad fun stuff was allways done with mates.....and it was all for one, one for all and that shit....Then...we get a partner...and next our life revolves around her....maybe even kids one day...and we try to be "responsible". We loose the hunger for adventure and the thrill of the chase....I think the "mates"bond is we all stick together to survive, often against the common enemy of "commitment". One by one we fall....some do however return from the battlefield a bit wiser. Some like yourself seem to have won over the other side and get to playt as you please....hence the mateship need to cover for each other has gone....and you and your mates have lost the strongest bond of all.....So....I hear you want mates....just keep Sal out of it (hte fishing bit in your post), get something that doesnt include her...let Sal do her own thing...and regain a hint of manpower....and sense of self worth....and maybe a shag on the side, or buy something she doesnt want you to have....just do something defient.....Anyway, depression sucks and it was a great post. We all need someone and I agree its your mates that you need to count on....And when my mates need advice....Just buy a box of tissues and take 2 teaspoons of cement......in other words, dry your eyes Princess and harden the fuck up.....or lets go out, get crazy and pick up a little hottie to have a little fun with....
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RHP User
15 years ago
id go fishing with you guys. lolwe are lucky we are high school sweet hearts so we never had to merge a group of friends, they were all the same anyway but now they have moved away, moved on and we are left alone.i feel your pain, i too have no one to confide in,to talk to, to give me a cuddle when im a mess. it hurts, im lonely but i dont have many options (live in a small town). and hubby has been working a lot lately, bloody staff quit so he has to do it. anyone want a job in a cellar door??? hahahhaai work but with my family , so no confiding there. i study but its online so no personal contact, so i talk to strangers, why the hell not? and i cry. lol. also have 2 young kids who cause some of the crying, im an emotional person at times.i never really feel connected to women in normal day to day life, my friends have always been males, so this can pose a problem as males tend not to express themselves verbally as much as women. after a few drinks they will get all chummy but they wont give ya a hug when your teary or call you just for a chat, so i know im missing out but i will survive because i have a wonderful husband.andy if u ever need to vent, cry, swear(my favourite), carry on im sure there are heaps of willing people around here. good luck in your search for a brother from another motherloads of lovexxxxxx
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RHP User
15 years ago
GazOne again you have reduced me to a pile of tears.......from laughing so damned hard!! Your little gym shower escapade story had me in fits (lucky no one else was home or they would have called the people with the white jackets to come and sedate me).......methinks you may have ingested a little too much shampoo or soap while showering.......oh to be a fly on the wall and watch you performing the "giggly bits and arse pressed up against the cubicle wall" routine....Hmmm, I can see myself standing in line at the local supermarket and that picture coming into my mind and losing it again......I'll have to try and get away with it by just having a cheeky smile on my face.....and we all know how becoming a cheeky smile is. Enjoy this gorgeous Tuesday arvo. H xx
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RHP User
15 years ago
Hiya, Sal and Andy, Speed and I are always up for more friends, we were just thinking the other night.. WE NEED MORE FRIENDS! I have found similiar to you Sal, the more friends in the lifestyle I make, the bigger the gap seems to broaden between myself and my muggle friends... I just seem to gravitate more towards those who are relaxed and open about sex, and it's just more fun when you can have flirty convos and talk about sex and all your espcapades openly and without any uncomfortable moments. So yeh, I have let a few of my friendships slip, and Speed has only been here from NZ for just over a year, so as a fairly new couple we are definitely up for more friends. If you wanna catch up for a beer or a steak, or both, please message us (yes, we are guests at the moment, gah) lol. Cheers, Trixie
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RHP User
15 years ago
Appreciate the kind words Andy.And perhaps one day we may find ourselves in the same "neck of the woods". If so, I would love to by you a cuppa or cup of joe.Cheers!One CrazyAmericanYES I AM... out of my mind. PS: Hang on tight to that gem you have. Based upon the stories you have posted, she is a DEFINITE KEEPER!
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