M43
Men who cry :)
November 30 2016
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
Whatever they may be and crying is one of them for me :) I'm more than ok with it! Seriously, I cry all the time, it's cathartic for me. I can have happy tears and sad tears, I can be frustrated and disappointed, I never hide them. Why should anyone I'm with feel that they can't express themselves anyway they want to, including crying? IMO, we need to put a lot less pressure on our men about things like crying or things society deems as 'unmanly'. Just my thoughts, Mary xx
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PatchworkGirl
8 years ago
I spent decades married to a man whose emotional outlets were often limited to uncontrolled explosive encounters. I much prefer a man who can be open about his feelings. Strong when he needs to be, soft and sensitive when it's called for.
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Missb4u
8 years ago
I like my men emotionally open and not shut down, able to express themselves and communicate effectively. If that sometimes involves crying so be it. I personally don't cry very often so I think I would uncomfortable if I was with a man that cried a lot.
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RHP User
8 years ago
And everyone male or female, child or adult should be able to express their emotions in a trusted environment with support and not judgment. My husband has been most of our 16 years not showing any emotion or discussing his feelings, and it was frustrating when you knew he was clearly upset about something but wouldn't let it out. Holding in feelings of guilt, anger, fear, grieve etc can all manifest in other negative ways. It was opening our marriage that open the flood gates so to speak. He talks about how he is feeling and we are able to work through things together. I admit it was a shock after such a long time but I'm glad it's finally happened. I remember on our wedding day, as I started to walk down the aisle, he locked eyes with me and started crying. By the time I'd hit the alter, he was openly sobbing. Something that really melted me. In saying all of that as much as I love men to show their emotions and cry, being with someone too emotional might be difficult for me. There's showing emotions and being sensitive and having feelings (And I'm kind of a sucker for a guy like that) and then there's walking on egg shells, being the sole reason for someone's existence etc. I've also been in that position and it's often manipulative and full of pressure or even abusive. Not something I want to experience again even though I really feel for them. Guys cry it out, there's nothing wrong with letting go.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Grammatical errors. Sorry!
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JValenz91
8 years ago
For blokes, I think it's the whole stigma about showing ones emotions that leads to a lot of men bottling it up. Like countrytouch said, men are incorrectly taught from birth that to be strong means that they can't show emotion, but I disagree with that way of teaching. Men that cry are in my opinion stronger than those that don't, because in a way it is them not just expressing, but admitting that there is something wrong that is greatly effecting them. While I don't cry for every little thing, I do sometimes cry when something gets a little too much for me. I do sadly bottle things up, but only because I don't want to act out in front of the wrong person. But in saying that, bottling things up often leads to me feeling worse than if I was just open. I do vent often, but maybe not often enough. But like you said Soft, there is nothing wrong with a guy letting go of their emotions
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RHP User
8 years ago
Arnold Schwarzenegger cry? Clint Eastwood cry? Sean Connery cry? Nope. Real men grit their teeth and suck up their emotions until their backs hurt and their hair falls out My back hurts and my hair fell out (well I shaved it)... Joking... 😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Definitely let your emotions go guys, it's very endearing and soft, how lucky are you? That's really beautiful. You hang on to him 😉 The last time I was with a guy who cried was about a year ago, give or take, can't remember exactly, but we both cried, for days. He had very good reason to cry and it was hard for me to see him so sad, he was in a very darkbplace. I was too as timing would have it, he would see my face changing and know I was trying not to cry, and he'd hold out his arms and wrap me up and allow me to let it go. I sobbed, cried out loud, I've never done that before. He understood though and I did the same with him, my heart broke for him. If you're reading this, I think of you often and hope you're okay. I really mean that and I'm sorry for what I did to you. So at the time, I didn't think I'd ever stop crying. I did eventually and now have a big wall up, not bloody going there again. My heart belongs to me and me only 😀 sorry, on topic, I think men need to let their emotions go and we women love to see that side of them 😃
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RHP User
8 years ago
It's fine when guys choke up over something sentimental to them. It's normal for people to hurt in life's downs. But not over emotional bouts... a man needs to be able to control his emotions and not be crazy ass sensitive. Definitely couldn't go out with a man that cried more than me. You wouldn't be living fully if you didn't cry at all or feel the same level of pain. Men do go quiet though and that's more worrying to me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm really enjoying reading everyone's comments.Keep them coming. It's quite ok with me if men cry.I would deem it along the lines of unhealthy/abnormal if they didn't cry.Everyone experiences times when they need to get something off their chest.
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RHP User
8 years ago
There was a study done some time ago that showed women found emotional guys less attractive than the strong unwavering type and vice versa depending on where they were in their cycle. So if you're a man and you want to cry, you've only got a few days every month, careful which ones you pick...
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RedHotCoast
8 years ago
- It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) when a heroic dog dies to save its master; (b) after wrecking his boss's car; or (c) one hour, twelve minutes, thirty-seven seconds into "The Crying Game."
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RHP User
8 years ago
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you live your life to please others it will always end in disappointment, just be who you are, I get weepy over movies, I cried openly when Bowie died. Fuck what people think of it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I get that, I cried when John Lennon died. I remember where I was at the the moment I heard the news, devastating. I hate when guys bottle things up and go quiet. My ex would go for 15 hrs driving without barely saying a word. I used to pick a fight just to get a conversation 😀 😎 we had a few awesome arguments on those trips 👌
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RHP User
8 years ago
...I guessed right. This is a Gee Up.
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Twisted_Mister
8 years ago
1. Greg Matthews scoring his maiden Test century, 1986 2. When I found out Collingwood won the GF in 1990 (I'd been in the jungle for six weeks) 3. When my son was born, 2004 4. Finally succumbing to nerve pain sitting at home, 2016 5. For some reason, any time I watch Lady Antebellum's 'Need You Now' on youtube. That last one's weird - I know right? Oh, and of course - the Pies again in 2010!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Has been part of Austraian/ Anglo culture from the early days of white settlement. To show emotion was to show weakness. I never saw my father cry and the only emotion he ever showed was anger. Hopefully times have changed and men are far more integrated...they can laugh or cry ...sometimes both at the same time. Q
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TakingMyTime
8 years ago
I come from the other side where I prefer my guys to be strong and I will say that is because I am a very strong woman too. Not often do I cry or is it because I am emotionally numb ? I found my ex used to cry a lot but I believe now he used this for manipulation in our relationship I find that I use my words to explain my emotions but rarely have to cry even when I want to - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I knocked a glass of milk over.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Not because any one thing, but a collective. My tears fell for the fallen.... My tears fell for the falling.... And my tears fell, for those who are about to.... Today I cried.....not because of any one thing, but a collective. Today I cried, because of a system so inherently broken, it allows people to abuse and neglect those we are supposed to love and protect all to easily....without recourse.... Today I cried, for those who have no choice in accepting an ignorance that they'd never have chosen..... Tomorrow I cry for the fallen.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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Bazingal
8 years ago
I cry a lot, for me it is a release of emotion. Could be happiness, sadness, anger, frustration........ the list goes on. Sometimes I hate doing it though. In some situations, displayed in the presence of certain people, I feel I appear weak. That's something I will have to work on. I would like to think I am a person that my son and daughter, partner, friends (hell pretty much anyone) would feel safe releasing any emotion around. If that includes crying for any reason, I have two shoulders available. My boyfriend sometimes gets a little teary glint in his eyes for a variety of reasons, could be sadness but more often than not it is because he loves and appreciates me and the things I do for him. I love seeing it, shows me he is a caring person who is not ashamed to show his feelings to me. However, I don't think we should judge how any person reacts to any situation. People process things differently. Just because that's how you have reacted in a given situation doesn't mean that that's how everyone should.
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RHP User
8 years ago
❤️😢❤️
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TakingMyTime
8 years ago
That is beautiful - thanks - Posted from rhpmobile
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MrPlayful
8 years ago
Can't show compassion or share his true feelings isn't really a man.
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PurePeony
8 years ago
...I'm with you on this! It's ok for men to cry ... but not at every little thing, and not more than their female counterpart. That's my preference. I wouldn't be comfortable if I was with a guy who cried more than me and was more openly emotional than I am. Of course, context determines the appropriateness of crying because if was a death in his family, it would be strange if he never cries. When it comes to death or a great loss, I wouldn't care about the type of crying, to answer your question, OP. I'm of strong character and I try to cry only in the safety of my home. I do cry very easily when watching movies, when empathising with others, and whenever death has occurred or shall occur. When things spiralled out of control and I was severely depressed, I bawled several times a day in the sanctity of home. When hearing of disaster and mass casualties in the news, I end up crying. I'm a bit of an empath and sometimes, I pick up sadness lingering in a place or person and can't control my tears. Thank goodness that rarely happens because the empath antennae aren't top-notch! :P I've had tears stream down my face a few times whilst in public transport - when I was retrenched, when I got diagnosed with something nasty and I was so shocked I didn't cry until I was on the tram home, when mum msg'd me to get me to call her when I'm home because grandma was very ill and had been hospitalised, when a friend called to say a mutual friend we're very fond of had just lost his job... Thank goodness for sunglasses and for commuters being fixated on their mobiles! It's strange but I really hate to let people know how soft-hearted I can be. I'd rather be strong, stoic and silent than openly weepy, emo and all that. Maybe it's a cultural thing, maybe it's upbringing... not sure but it is what it is. Mum tells the tale of how, even as a wee toddler, I'd clench my teeth and fists, and refuse to whimper even when tears were streaming down my face, when I was being caned by dad over something I felt was unfair. (So happy that kids here aren't subject to being frivolously caned!) Mum said she was quite astounded at my resolute strength at such a young age and knew that I would grow up extraordinarily brave...and obstinate! :P (Yup... I'm biding my time, waiting for the Zombie Apocalypse when I shall wield my katana and slice, chop 'n' dice my way to survival! Yeah... huge fan of The Walking Dead! :P) I've watched a Japanese wife grieve over her dead husband. She was sombre, quiet, and she wiped away her tears as they welled up in her eyes ... but not a sound from her. Extraordinary strength. I was so moved I wept quietly for her. I know her heart is broken but the Japanese culture places a huge emphasis on strength of character and seeing her in silent grief was truly heartbreaking. OP, you mentioned tears of joy. I think I'll be sorely disappointed if my wedding day came and my intended didn't shed tears of joy (not sorrow, of course! :P) as I walked down the aisle. THAT would make ME cry because I'd start asking, "Where is the love?" *cue Black Eyed Peas song*... :P
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RHP User
8 years ago
My experience of crying was that it was totally not acceptable when I was a kid, the implication that crying meant I was weak. As you might be able to imagine, I have trouble revealing any sense of weakness. As an adult, turning around to see one of the men in the house with tears in their eyes over the same thing tearing me up is very freeing. So for me, men and women, we're all human and not so much different at the heart of it. Peachy
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RHP User
8 years ago
Being a single dad to 3 daughters who live with me 24/7 brings me to tears somedays !! 😂😂 But in all seriousness, if a guy sometimes can't let it all out, it's not healthy. I was brought up by a very stoic and British father, ex army, Contrary to what others thought , he wasn't afraid to cry when he needed to. It taught me at a young age that even the toughest guys, let go occasionally . And growing up seeing that was pretty amazing for a kid.. He was tough when needed but a softie when needed too .. But I totally agree about crying over everything too much.. don't be afraid to let emotions out but don't cry if your crappy football team loses guys !! Harden the f up !! 😆 - Posted from rhpmobile
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