Menopause...or the pause between men

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  Mr_MrsAraps

  11 years ago

  Have not had any experience whatsoever with a menopausal partner but am sitting down on the couch with a beer (its Friday, lol) looking forward to hear what is said with an open mind. Cheers, W.

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  Plain

  11 years ago

  First thing is guys get information from your mother in law if your not sure how to broach the subject and ask for her experience through the change. As usual you will have forgotten all about it and had the verbal curse or odd utensil tossed your way when you decide to be amorous, as your partner is expeirencing the first flushes and changes in life. My mother in law bless her told me her experience and although there are differences she was pretty spot on, so armed with this important information, we were able to talk and negotiate this difficult time in my partners life and by and large I understood what was going on and acted accordingly. There is no need to stop having sex guys, for the first time in your life you will have to be patient for a few years at least. Unfortunately in our case my partners cancer interrupted so sex was no longer important for me and her at the time. Just my experience on this time in life, others may have handled it differently for those that are young enough just store the info for the future.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Yes good topic Freya. I've been going through menopause for five years. Have coped with the hot flushes and the night sweats but was /am determined not to let it be detrimental to my sex life. It is what you make it largely I think. I have wondered sometimes if some married/ partnered women use it as an excuse not to continue having sex , when , as you say Freya , maybe it's because they're bored with the same old sexual routine. I love that as a post menopausal , single woman I am able to still engage sexually with men over a wide age range and still be considered sexually desirable. I refuse to let menopause be an excuse for me to 'hang up my boots' , sexually speaking. Embrace it , I say !!

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Having gone through menopause at 39 I can honestly say that it does affect your sex life. Some women have little to no symptoms, I was one of the unfortunate ones who had full blown symptoms . Zero sex drive. Dryness to the point that I had severe pain at times like a burning. I couldn't even have a regular pap smear due to dryness and shrinkage.Weight gain. Chronic fatigue. Just performing necessary daily duties was a challenge. Not depressed , not sad....just Flat. Hot flushes up to 12 times a day especially at night, waking in a pool of sweat. At 39 I felt so cheated, I should have been at the prime of my sex life and instead I felt like that part of my life was over. I always enjoyed a healthy sexual appetite and to all of a sudden go the opposite end of the scale and not have any interest at all was difficult to say the least. At 39 I had still contemplated having another child and that also was hard to deal with. I just didn't feel like a woman anymore. My then husband had no understanding at all of what I was going through so really offered no support. Yes there are things that can be done. I held off for 5 years before I tried HRT as they often put you at greater risk of breast cancer and cause weight gain and I already had major problems with weight gain! Now though the treatments don't have those horrible side affects and since finally giving in to taking HRT I wish I had done it earlier!! I feel like a teenager again!! And act like one lol! My sexual appetite is triple to what it was even before menopause, I am full of energy and in better shape than I have been for 30years! I truly tried to embrace it as part of a womans life but at 39 I just wasn't ready for it. Freya what has been your experience? Did you suffer many symptoms? How did you cope? x

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Assuming I'm coupled In a loving and connected relationship with good communication menopause should be nothing more than a small hurdle in the scheme of things. Surely by that stage of our lives we've all faced bigger and scarier things?? - Posted from rhpmobile

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  cleopatrababe

  11 years ago

  Its very liberating indeed to fianlly be rid of the monthly period ,, and the dreaded premenstrual tension ,,, my ex used to say about me , Evil and spawned in the belly of hell a fire breathing dragon ,, mmm nice eh , i could have killed , i dont get that now , i get the odd flush at night one leg out one in , fan on most nights love the cold more than the heat , i tried hrt for a year but came off it all with no regrets ,, i eat healthy exercise and keep my weight down quite easily and enjoy all the gret things life brings and certainly enjoy the wonderful men on offer on here , the positive thing for me was moving on from my marrige of 31 years , it was stifling and i was dreadfully unhappy i beleive woman at my age who are married are mostly bored they let themselves go , get fat , drink to much and give up on sex through boredom i see it all around me , as hard as it is sometimes to be alone ,, ur more alone in a marrige ur unhappy in so get out and love urself and there are always men that will desire u

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  inspirit

  11 years ago

  so I wouldn't know

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  inspirit

  11 years ago

  if you say you become evil and a little more twisted...wouldn't it be the time too build that dungeon and explore a bit on bondage and stuff ....

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I have lived through it with a couple of different partners and yes us guys have to be understanding.. It is just as the word is pronounced..Men a Pause. .. for a moment !

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I guess I was fortunate in a way that I found out about 6 months ago that I had gone through the change early and had been post manopausal for at least 12 months. I did find in the last few months that dryness became an issue but medication fixed that issue and the hot flushes which were the reason I got checked and are spread through the day and night would probably be the thing I struggle with the most but I have decided laughing them off is the best way to deal with them As for my sex drive omg it has increased to the point that it brings on mood swings if I can't get enough lol ( I want it every day ) and it's the only reason my mood changes hehehe So I guess outside if a cancer scare of which I am recovering from atm the change really has brightened my sex life and helped me be more confident in going after what I desire sexually . - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  hot flashes and thats all. I am lucky it didn't reduce my appetite for sex and it didn't make me dry. The pain is terrible at times and I would love taking HRT but my Doc is reluctant to give it to me because my sister has cancer. So I grind my teeth and take it because it will be gone one day. All women go through it so I am not alone in it.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  It has had a positive affect on our relationship, the communications have been clear and productive...our sex life has finally put on the back burner indefinitely.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Was I wanted sex all the time. The body at menopause makes a last ditch effort to reproduce and the hormones go wild. My doctor actually slapped me when I told her I was concerned because I had no symptoms other than that, lol.

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I would be really interested in what others know about this, even amongst women it seems a taboo subject. My mum started going thru it at 55 and 10 years later she was done with sex. She was sexually active until then and didn't mind so much when her drive left because by then she didn't have a partner, and she told me that she had had a very fulfilling sex life with my father ( apparently he was a shit husband but good dad and good in bed, lol!!!). I am grateful she has been so open with me. I admit I fear losing my libido as is so much a part of my identity and happiness, but I hear that not all women do lose their sex drive after menopause. What do you know? X B

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  That's wonderful. You have a great outlook!

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  When I was pegnant i wanted sex all the time. Didn't think that was normal...Just yesterday my GP told me that iI have entered the Meno cycle causing dizzyspells and anxiety but my sex drive is through the roof....finally feeling mature and know what I want and loving it.....

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I agree

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  madotara69

  11 years ago

  Is that Tara may go through some tough moments, apparently menopause begins at a slow rate about ten years leading up to a twelve month average without having a period, done and dusted. Then the body begins to recover from the effects that hormonal changes take their toll. There is a wide range of stories as to little or lot for the effects women have with menopause, the average time frame being around four years. The changes with estrogen depletion seems to be a big player and the medicine to help with that is questionable for risk with medical stuff otherwise. So my theory is, as part with the plan. Stress is still what I consider the worst thing to be living with and too much of it for too long will cause more problems mentally, physically and over all medically ones worst enemy. Now Tara supposedly is within the ten year range of slow but steady sailing to the ending of something beautiful, our children and the life of being a fertile mother, often taken for granted, if not for the need to regularly remind myself as to just how much Tara has, like all ladies, shown such a brave face and nature given and taken to being a mother. It is all in the ladies bag to deal with, maybe for some though for me it is a time to concentrate on keeping Tara's level of stress to the best minimum, as that being the most important part I can be, as we go through the walks together and make the best of what maybe trying for it's worst. I believe that caring for Tara while she goes through this menopause, will help to reduce plenty of the shitty stuff and much more a lift to her well-being and confidence, with the knowing she has my respect and love. Don't see it as being anything other than what it is and what it means. Liberating as miss Freya suggests. Oh, and sex? If Tara is not enjoying it, then I don't enjoy it much either. Mado Mado, Tara xx

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