F110
Moral and ethical dilemmas
May 19 2014
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
be friends with people who cheat and lie because I can recognise it is a small part of who they are. I don't think their infidelity is their being and I can also understand to a degree the reasoning behind it. I don't like the behaviour, doesn't mean I don't like the person. I don't have to agree with it just like any other subject I don't agree with my friends on, I can put my friendships above my ideals and accept people for who they are. I would only find it hypocritical if I were cheating and telling someone else not to.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What my experience is with one person is not going to be the same as anothers. There are many sides to each of us. Different people inspire different things from us. I know I inspire different things in different people. Ralf's post sounds ideal to me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Right and wrong falls into a couple of categories. Things we know/feel are right or wrong and things we are told are right or wrong. Things we know/feel are right or wrong can vary from person to person but the best test remains the 'Golden Rule'. If you wouldn't accept it being done to you, don't do it to others.Things we are told are right and wrong can vary depending on location. Give this a thought. A prominent Saudi writer, Abdullah Mohammad Al Dawood urged his 97,000 Twitter followers to sexually molest women that work as cashiers in grocery stores in order to force working women to stay at home and protect their chastity. This comes from a holy man of Islam in Iran.Now while Australia is a progressive society that has accepted (for the most part) that indulging in an extra marital affair is not a criminal offence (ie. here we are told that "cheating" is NOT "wrong") over there it is a criminal offence and there are extremely harsh penalties for any transgression.Hmmm, ...perhaps some of our members would be more comfortable living over there...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just lost my post by accident but I had agreed with what Ralf had to say, so I'll just stick with that Q.
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Missb4u
11 years ago
I have to say I agree with ralf. I have morals and ethics I live by which others may not agree with similarly I may not agree with other peoples morals or ethics. To me it's about choosing what you, as an individual, are comfortable with and can live with, ultimately that's all that matters. As for airing a relationship gone wrong through the forums and naming names no absolutely not. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with MrsPeachy,people are often different with different people...lying, cheating, depending on the context, doesn't mean someone isn't a good person at the core...I would only divulge 'dirt' on someone if another was in danger, or it was a friend that would potentially get hurt. In then end, people have to live with their own actions. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
If this site has thought me anything, it's probably not to judge. I've been cheated on, lied to, but I've also been the mistress and the liar. I have my opinions on adultery, but it's just my opinion, we all have them and they are all different. Who am I to judge, I believe we judge ourselves enough without anyone else doing it for us.....and if the friendship ever ended I would never, ever break that trust that was given to me, it's just not something I would do, I'm big on loyalty, even if the friendship didn't work out......💋
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
*Taught*
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passion8_l
11 years ago
Quoting 'ralf74' be friends with people who cheat and lie because I can recognise it is a small part of who they are. I don't think their infidelity is their being and I can also understand to a degree the reasoning behind it. I don't like the behaviour, doesn't mean I don't like the person. I don't have to agree with it just like any other subject I don't agree with my friends on, I can put my friendships above my ideals and accept people for who they are. I would only find it hypocritical if I were cheating and telling someone else not to. As for naming and shaming, that's just not cool.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes. Sometimes I feel hypocritical because I am being politely and don't actually want to say sometimes... You are acting like pond scum. I was very black and white on the issue of cheating when I first joined RHP but my views have definitely softened. Surprisingly more so from listening to of my vanilla girlfriends and how they view their long time relationships more than anything else. I have come I realize that there are lots of women dropping the ball... Then blaming the husbands. :-)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Far out... Take a few mths off and your brain goes to mush. Typos typos typos!! Sorry
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BacioCouple
11 years ago
The dilemma put could go for a wide range of situations, not just cheating and/or lying. Just because I may not agree with an individual's choices does not mean I don't seek to understand their reasons for choosing a particular path, and nor does it stop me being friends with them, supporting them and listening to them - even if they are not the choice's I'd make.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Have morals and ethics ! Its your personal choice whether to use them or not. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
We missed your mush
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is that the royal wee because you're on the throne Tuscan?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Stop peeping, and fooooork me how many time do I have to tell hubby not to leave only one square of paper on the dam Roll! Lady t, on the porcelain throne
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just recently separated from his partner of 14 years. His actions are somewhat tit for tat and revenge seeking. Yep I told him so alright...of course he disagrees, his hurt and ego are more prevalent than his logical mind at the minute. No matter what I do to try to help steer him, he's still hell bent on teaching her a lesson; a lesson I might add that keeps blowing up in his face, then he cried poor. I've told him, I'm here to help, all of your friends love you, and care for you, but there are only so many times we are going to have our hands bitten before we step back and allow you to wear the consequences of your actions. You're acknowledging it's not working out in your favour so why do you continue down this path??? Unfortunately there's not a lot I can do for him now after his latest episode, but to step back, allow the process to evolve, and be there for him when he's better. Same for those that display any kind of behaviour that I disagree with. I'm still a friend; as long as their behaviour isn't directed at me; as then the situation becomes contextually different, so it should be assessed on a case by case basis. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
But they change as we grow older and wiser. When we are young, we are so black and white with just about everything.As life throws us curve balls and things do not always go as planned we get some lovely shades of grey in our life. then we get old and grumpy and only see in black and white again. I face them every day, every thing we do is often a challenge to our core belief. Look at war, men and women do things they would never dream about, stress, survival, and just plain out desire to have our own way shifts all our perceptions of what is right or what is wrong. I just stand at the plate and try to swing at life, sometimes I miss and some times I hit a home run I also can look at how others play and say they may be off their game but they are my friends, unless they do something that's deliberately designed to be cruel I can tolerate most things, but not all once I give up on a person, that's it for me. I just shut them out of my life.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I suppose it's the nature of Sites such as this , with a Public Forum , where you will occasionally see jilted lovers trying to sway Public Opinion . Some may feel it's their Duty to inform everyone about the other's alleged inadequacies . I think whatever happens between two people is really their own business and no-one else's , just as I think that each couple's situation is based upon unique dynamics ( and can differ from situation to situation ) . I understand that people can get hurt feelings in the Internet Dating world (more often than not) but I think airing dirty laundry and displaying Bitterness , Anger , Jealousy , Hurt , etc. is counter-productive in a place such as this . Me ? I prefer to look to the Future , not dwell on the Past ;) GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Everyone conducts their relationships differently what may work for one couple may not for another. I tend to avoid married men unless I have met the wife/partner and they give the all clear to go and have fun. I don't like the lying and sneaking around it tends to make me a target when they are found out. Besides married guys don't tend to be free when I am. I ask the guys to tell the truth and let me make my mind up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
How many people can truthfully say they have never lied to a spouse/ partner! Doesn't really matter on what subject, a lie is still a lie. As for cheating on them, sometimes it doesn't have to be physically, it can be mentally. As I get older, I acquire more understanding of human nature. It is not for me to openly judge others, yes, I have opinions but I try and keep these to myself, not everything is black or white, cut and dried. I have had close friends abuse me, treat me badly, defame and hurt me. Those people I have had to separate from my life. People who live in glass houses".............
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