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My etiquette is cock blocking me

March 04 2019

I’m the female half with an ask for tips/advice. I hope it’s not too silly. A quick explanation; I grew up religiously conservative as well as having etiquette and such drilled into my head that a woman never makes the first move. Ever. Being properly behaved was a huge thing as well. I’m not shy, but a rather social person and have no problem talking with men or women initially, so no issue there. BUT... I have no game. I struggle to be straightforward about being interested in someone or letting them know I’m ready to play. I also miss social cues that someone is interested in me. I generally assume they aren’t. Unless it’s that pushy desperate kind of cue, I get that, but it’s offputting. I’m not shy about sex and I love the hedonistic feeling of endulging my own and others desires once things have started. The Beard is chill and hardly says anything most of the time, but he scores regularly (more often than I do lol!) with ladies. I don’t know how to make the transition from chatting to playing with men and not feel like it’s a major breach of etiquette. How have any of the you gotten over that mental hurdle? I’ve gotten over so many others, but this seems to be a stubborn sticking point for me. - Posted from rhpmobile

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OkeyDoke45

6 years ago

I have much the same myself - I see profiles I like , but hold back on messaging. I have had experiences before of me being compatible with people in all but one or two criteria, but that apparently is enough for the other party to knock me back. This has a bit to do with my hesitancy. It's interesting OP that you let your religious upbringing still guide your behavior, despite it being obvious that you are sexually liberated. My ex was (or pretended to be) quite religious, and she always said ''god knows your heart'', which was something that I actually believed among a whole heap of other bullshit. I would say the same to you - if what is holding you back is your subconscious belief that god is watching - well, ''he'' has already seen you if you know what I mean. Like some dirty pervert going through your emails, that sick fuck, ''he'' knows what you've been up to and what your true thoughts are. Personally though, I think that - with my ex - it's not god she was worried about when you strip it all down (so to speak), it was her parents. Religion often just fucks people up.

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RHP User

6 years ago

You need to smack me over the head with at least a 2x4 if you want me to know you’re flirting with me... I can see it happen around me but if it’s happening to me then I’m the last to know it... I think it comes from conditioning so to a certain extent when we begin to feel like we aren’t worth that attention we stop knowing what signs to look for. My suggestion would be to first be damn proud of yourself as a sexy sexual desirable woman who deserves to be ravished and pleasured by a man. If you are looking to dabble at flirting then you can’t start simple.. it can be just by flirting in a msg app with a guy... being suggestive and fun and enjoying the response you get from him.. let it feed your ego and prove to yourself you are desirable... From there you could move to a simple coffee date and do the same.. just flirt laugh relax chat and enjoy being comfortable without the thought of anything else to come. After that you could move to something more eveningish maybe with the potential for after dinner delight... you could also flirt with your partner... if you can knock his socks off with your sexiness and guile and wit then you there’s no reason that can’t translate to anyone else seeing you as he sees you... but first see yourself though your partners yes.. see yourself as sexy and desirable and witty and wanted then go out and own it!! There’s all sorts of places for sexy in this world and shy defitniely has its place!!! Trust me - I’m one of them!

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RHP User

6 years ago

For thousands of years women have been conditioned ,overtly and covertly to be polite,to only speak when we are spoken to.to wait for the man to pay us attention yadda yadda yadda Some men even acknowledge that they want to be the "hunter" not the "hunted"...and even though its a new millenniam go figure :) You just have to be prepared for rejection and not care what other people may think. Shove yourself out of your comfort zone. There was an anthem in the seventies Don't be to polite girls,don't be to polite" And yes I am unashamedly an old 70s style feminist. But in the parlance of today,"You go girl !" Hugs Q

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Sawadee

6 years ago

But us guys also miss signals blind freddy can see ' then its taken as we're not interested . ? I have no problem with a lady flirting btw., i love it , just wouldnt like to make a dick of myself if i got it wrong..

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beautynthebeard

6 years ago

I suspected it was just a matter of sucking it up and trying something out. My major flirt tactic with The Beard is to be as dorky as possible. May need to expand my repertoire a tad and shore up my ego.

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RHP User

6 years ago

I have never had the guts to approach others face to face. Partly due to fear of rejection maybe or just not brave enough. Being in a very long term relationship previously also meant that I didn't need to know how to flirt lol. I don't get approached either. So forever single I'll be 😀

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boobsandbusted

6 years ago

op your not alone ,that could have easily been written by many many men and women ,take off the religious part and replace it with with being brought up with good girls or boys don’t do this or that and there’s even more of us out there including myself and mrs b ,i’m bad but she way worse ,lol mr b

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

Not sure if it is the introvert in me or what. When I'm out with friends or family they see the signals and how men flirt with me. I'm blind freedy and just keep doing whatever it is I am doing. What's a girl to do except be herself. To be honest, if someone is into me, they are better off just saying so, rather than just beat the bush. For me I find some men (I say that cause it is what I am looking for) are hard work, others no so. It also depends on how I am feeling at that time. Sometimes I am direct other times not so. To be honest, I am shit at flirting. There is nothing wrong with good Catholic girls. 😉 Ms Foxy

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RHP User

6 years ago

There's 1 thing wrong with "good" Catholic girls, but it's easy fixed... Just be bad 😜

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RHP User

6 years ago

Beautyandthebeard your message could have been written by me I am the same. I was bought up to be a good girl and its hard to break free. I am fine with writing messages to guys, but when I meet them I feel I let myself down with the flirting. I am a shy girl and if I am at a bar or concert and a guy smiles or chats I seem to go mute😥 and walk away. Thinking why would he be interested in me. Anyone with any tips would be welcome. Good luck Beauty

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FredAndGinger2

6 years ago

Even after three years and hosting social meets and recently intimate play events, we also still have those thoughts and beliefs that hold back our inhibitions. Slowly we do free ourselves and we feel in a great place already, with more exploring and connection-making that will continue to develop us.

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MsSuperFoxy

6 years ago

I know! I experienced it at a prestige Catholic boarding school. 😛 Ms Foxy

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Sawadee

6 years ago

Im hearing you.. same same.. Usually im a confident sort of guy and flirting comes quite natually. But there are times i dont feel like putting in the same effort. So i guess its the mood of the moment ..

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RHP User

6 years ago

Sometimes it’s that uncomfortable mind playing feeling of .....“are they seriously flirting with me” and then not knowing how to handle the situation. It’s a confidence thing I think especially when one doesnt consider themselves attractive and wonder why would anyone be interested in me. More often, I just tend to shrug it off if someone pays me a compliment (or heavens forbid flirting 😜) and think to myself theyre just trying to be nice without thinking anything more .....like a “move along, nothing to see here” approach lol 😂 To me it’s always best to be nice and until someone hits me with a 4x2 (as one of the previous posts suggests) then it will be status quo 😂😜

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SSExplorer

6 years ago

Omg you sound exactly the same as Mrs S. We had a night away from the kids last weekend and went to a bar. She went to get drinks, was gone a while. Came back to tell me she was chatting to a gorgeous woman at the bar, on discussion it was pretty obvious the girl was coming on to her but Mrs S just couldn’t express that she was very much that way inclined. It seems that religious upbringing just can’t be quashed. She also finds it next to impossible to flirt having never flirted with anyone in her life, I sometimes wonder how I knew she was interested in me!!! She so wants to explore and the few occasions we have she really let’s go once in the arms of another woman, but right up to that point she is as shy as they come, so how do we get her flirt meter up and running????

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71Camaro

6 years ago

I guess u have to look at it as “nothing venutered, nothing gained “. It’s hard to Know if a couple is “into u” or not but I think that unless I put urself out there, u will never know. I never put my hubby and I “out there” and I’m slowly doing this. We have no expectations, so not disappointments 😊. Keep Trying to push thru ur boundaries. There’s fun to be had 😈

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RHP User

6 years ago

Literally can look at a guy and as soon as I see he has an athletic build I wouldn’t even contemplate messaging. In the words of my Dad and ex husband “I just can’t get people like that” and “you’d be punching well above ya weight” Cannot get out of the mindset that anyone with a remotely fit bod would never look at me twice.... it’s like trying to change a culture changing my mindset 🤦‍♀️

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daytime_playtime

6 years ago

Quoting 'purplehaze4u' I am a shy girl and if I am at a bar or concert and a guy smiles or chats I seem to go mute😥 and walk away. Thinking why would he be interested in me. Anyone with any tips would be welcome. Good luck Beauty Why would he be interested in me? - Probably because of your hot bod!

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My etiquette is cock blocking me

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