M66 F67
My guy is Bi, how do I deal with it?
February 14 2018
Comments
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Sounds like you need to seek professional counselling; together and seperate. Doesn't really seem (considering you're a very jealous women) that you guys were in the right place to begin with. Serious but; who gives a hoot if he's bi.... support and love each other and never stop communicating.... really doesn't change much..... maybe he's been too worried about your obvious struggle with his sexuality to be completely honest with you about it in the past. Which is sad. I wish you both luck though x - Posted from rhpmobile
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
You state that you are a very jealous lady and only want to be with him ? Or want him to be with you ? How then do you handle the swinging part ? How do you feel if he has sex with another women ? If you are jealous then perhaps you need to rethink if swinging really is for you ? You would not want this all to negatively impact on your relationship - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
It does sound like you are being confronted with several challenges including a fairly new relationship and entering the swinging scene. That's a lot just in itself. Now just a few months later and by discovery have found out he is bi...that's a lot lot more. First, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having boundaries in a relationship including ones which are inflexible. It's worse to become an emotional hostage and love will do that to people. Too, there are men whose biology will dictate the "need" to be with other men and I personally would never be judgemental. That said, there are statistically more men who are drawn to gay or bi lifestyles out of psychological compulsion or experimentation. I've deliberately stepped over using the term "OCD behaviour". For you, there may be a bottom-line decision to make and regardless of love, you need to protect your own mental and emotional well-being. Referring again to Maslow's Hierarchy of Need, self-preservation is your number one priority. If you are so inclined, you may try getting counselling together as a couple albeit that too may be another raid block. Take care of yourself then help the rest of the passengers on your flight. It's your life too, make the most of it! Godspeed Just Midnight - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Firstly, 4 months together is not a very long time to form a relationship. But OK, you guys are in-love, and that's great. You want to be together and work this out, so what are you both prepared to do? You are both open about having sex with other people, except that one is hetero and one is Bi sexual. What I can gather is that you don't really accept your partner as a Bi man because you have been brought up conservative? Yet, you have a relationship based upon consensual non monogamy. Is conservatism, merely the constraints on sexuality for you? You are going to have to take this very slow, because your 'thinking' around Bi men, is probably set in views that are conservative values, based upon religious conformity.This takes a lot of 'undoing' on your mind (or thinking). So accepting your partner as Bi, is going to take a while. If you are a jealous type, your insecurities will not be helpful. You will need to set boundaries but recognise that your insecurities as something you need to deal with, and communicate your 'triggers' to your partner when you feel jealous. This is a problem when you don't deal with jealousy appropriately. You need to recognise why you are insecure over your man with a another man. Be honest about your feelings. I find other hetero men feel 'disgust' when other men give pleasure to other men, without ever having same sex encounter. This is embedded into our societies, and our deeply embedded views can be really about our thinking, that has never been questioned or rebutted. You need to challenge yourself in your thinking. If you are not prepared to do that, then this will be a challenge for your relationship's survival. At the same time, you should not have to be MADE to feel good about something that you may not be able to accept or adjust in your thinking, and that is OK. You don't have to do anything. But you need to realise that it may not be enough for your partner. That this has to be OK with your partner too. You both may need to come to accept that you both may not be able to change things about each other, or yourselves. I really hope you both can deal with this by perhaps going to sex counselling, or finding someone you both can trust that will help you progress through this together.
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
None of us can help.... Go see a councillor before you read into anything that any of us has to say.... I wish you well - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Spell check is not always a blessing. I can make enough of my own mesteaks! ⚡️⚡️⚡️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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gazpacho
7 years ago
You’re not struggling with the idea that he is bi... you’re actually struggling with the question of monogamy. Yes, he is bi, but he is with you, in a heterosexual relationship. All good so far. You’ve got no problems with that at all. So, he wants to root someone else. This you have a problem with. It doesn’t matter to you if this other person is male or female... you just don’t want it to happen. Once you understand what you want, you can express it plainly, without contradiction. If your problem was that your guy is bi... you can’t change that at all. Live with it or move on. Monogamy is a different question. You both need to discuss it. Well, that’s my take. I hope you come to a wonderful agreement in which you both remain happy. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
7 years ago
either find another bi guy that you can both share ..else buy a strapon and learn how to use it as a guy would ,,,
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
The 2 of you have some issues to sort out with a counselor who will get the full story from the both of you, not just your side of selected bits. In the meantime, focus on the positives. He trusts and loves you enough to confide in you. Most bi guys do not. He has a thing for guys but is unlikely to leave you for another guy. You may not like the thought of him with another guy but rest assured it's not for anything but sexual needs that cannot be satisfied by you or any other woman. He obviously is very comfortable and in love with you in sharing the info with you. Run with that and work to understand where he is at. Doing that will enable him to love and respect you even further . All is not lost. On the contrary, you are in a much better position for a deep relationship, something most other partners of bi men never get a full chance at because they are never invited into the secrecy of the bi men's World unless by chance discovery. And then it's all over. Work with him and you have a big chance of a very special relationship
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inspirit
7 years ago
playee with your partner and another bi gent yet? If not, try it. You may just enjoy it....... 😁 - Posted from rhpmobile
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inspirit
7 years ago
.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
Me personally I'd throw a huge party and invite as many bi guys over as l could but that's just me 🎉🎊🍾😍
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RHP User
7 years ago
Your partner has issues leave him. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Quoting 'freshcpl' Your partner has issues leave him. I'd put money on that this is the male posting.Which means you should leave your partner because she does "anything"The only one with issues is you. A lot of them
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
And yet your partner is bi so she must have issues to then. Hypocrite.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Gosh this sounds like my post. About two years ago. All I can say is sexuality is quite fluid. He perhaps should be honest from get go. But best of luck. I could come to terms with swinging but bi - well no. Bad enough having to feel I have to compete with other women and then men too. Goodluck - Posted from rhpmobile
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
What a dispicable thing to say when the OP is pouring her heart out with her struggles and seeking advice. What a troll. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Here. The usual story. Fine for the female to play with other women. But if the man should like a bit of cock, the sky falls in.....
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RHP User
7 years ago
Freshcple is banging the usual drum. Mr is told what to think by Mrs I think. :))
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RHP User
7 years ago
I am with Gaz. I think the real issue is that he clearly refuses to be faithful/monogamous. Just because someone is bi doesn’t mean they can’t commit totally to one person. Sounds like that would be your preference mrs Itsf4u but not his. Up to you. Can you handle the fact he wants to continue seeing men. If not, than it won’t work. Jealousy is a horrible thing and will eat you up. I like bi men and I have (surprisingly) been very comfortable in sharing lovers. Rooting around doesn’t have anything to do with Your feelings for each other. It’s a separate thing. It’s a strange concept that can be hard to grasp for lots of people. Unfortunately this lifestyle isn’t for everybody, and that is perfectly okay. Perhaps if you did some swinging to see if you’re comfortable with seeing him with other people or another alternative might be that he roots his male lovers and doesn’t tell you about it - so you know but it’s not in your face. That could work too.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Agree totally with you i am very much a hypocrite,but seeing two females together is so hot and sensual. But only a real male would see the sensual side of two females together.😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
And is the real man allowed to do what he likes or does he only get to watch while wifey tells him what to do? 😉😎
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
You already know what the response from Frshcpl is going to be...... needing a caveman emoticon so badly lol🤣 - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
But still trolling from their previous profile days which was banned from posting I believe
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
A real male. Lol. How does that work for you then?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Sorry my post disappeared? This is a tricky situation for sure. How bi is this guy? The answer to that will form the basis to my attempt at a helpful explanation :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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its4u2
7 years ago
Quoting 'Respectful83' Sorry my post disappeared? This is a tricky situation for sure. How bi is this guy? The answer to that will form the basis to my attempt at a helpful explanation :) - Posted from rhpmobile Male here: How Bi do I have to be ? I have had bisexual experiences in the past, however since meeting my lady I have not had any experiences with males, out of respect for her . we were to have a meeting with a guy and backed down as my lady was not comfortable about it at the time.We talk every day about this and are going to be instigating counselling with someone who can provide unbiased and positive therapy for us both.Female here: I have been to a few swinger's events and we decided that it wasn't our scene, however we have met some nice people in a 1 on 1 situation and found it less confronting. I'm trying to accommodate him with his lifestyle without ignoring my own feelings on this. I find the thought of two women not to my own liking, but I don't enforce this on other people who may like this.
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The_Antichrist
7 years ago
Good ole cranky pants 😂😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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kerningpairs
7 years ago
End it now. I knew I was bi @18 and interested in nonmonogamy even earlier but kept falling for het monogamous women. I spent 23 yrs in 2 LTRs where I hoped the love would make the interest in others subside. It never did. The LTRs became prisons. We value diversity in friendships and conversations because it produces valuable information. Diversity in the languages of intimacy does the same and makes for beautiful, interesting people. If you don’t love his bisexuality. End it. It’s a wonderful thing about him. Find someone who’s approach matches your own. Good luck! - Posted from rhpmobile
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FeistyFatty
7 years ago
Well said 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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ILoveFun555
7 years ago
There are a lot of people saying it is a positive that you know. I agree. As a bi-curious guy I have never had a proper conversation with a woman about my sexuality. I really would like to, but it seems it's more accepted to be bi if you are a lady. This is a real big hurdle to overcome, if you don't like it leave him alone. Good on him for being honest.
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ILoveFun555
7 years ago
There are a lot of people saying it is a positive that you know. I agree. As a bi-curious guy I have never had a proper conversation with a woman about my sexuality. I really would like to, but it seems it's more accepted to be bi if you are a lady. This is a real big hurdle to overcome, if you don't like it leave him alone. Good on him for being honest.
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