M56 F56

Need Questions, Answered :)

September 25 2017

I seem to put alot of posts in this forum maybe because I want to understand myself a little better by asking these types of questions because I have not had a "good influence" or a "big brother or sister" in my life. Apologies if I seem a little nieve (funny for a 49-year-old you would think I should know better) however, I do love to love or at least believe in it more than most (no offence to others that feel the same) So, I am on here with my husband but, I feel a little confused I guess I seem to ask alot of questions around 3somes MMF I suppose the reason for this is that - I have this inner feeling that if I do submit to this act is that I could possibly make a bad decisions and to be frank with you I have made alot of them in my past and I really don't want to continue that at all. So, I suggested to my husband why is it that a stranger that we do not know would be a better decision than a person that we know and trust? I must admit if we did do this how do I know our marriage "could" or "may not" be affected by this decision of lust, desire, fantasy to reality. It seems like alot of people on here does it and they seem okay with this decision so why isn't it fluid with me? How do I know as a female that we of 19 years could make an error in our sexual decision by choosing a stranger to enter our life and do something that I feel is very personal and intermate to me as a woman? A friend, however, is again strange as I do not want to offend nor affect their relationship or mine for that matter but, I could see that as a better option or is it that I am looking through "rose coloured" glasses? Either way, this is a very intermate sexual act for me anyway and I feel okay and sometimes like today a little confused about being this open and sexually free because let's face it you do have to think a little different to even think about having two men naked and brushing against your wobbly bits HA! Jokes aside anyone else ever struggles with this? Or am I looking at it too much? Why would my husband say no to a friend and not a stranger? (I do understand the friend bit is odd, yes but, I know "us" as a couple we are very selective with people entering our dome or our purple circle) if that makes sense. Anyway, anyone has thoughts? Ideas? anything that could or may help with this dilemma?

Comments

mango69er

7 years ago

If your not sure dont do it at all. But better to do it with a stranger, if you do want to try. If it turns out it wasnt for us both. Then he is gone from your life - Posted from rhpmobile

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Seachange

7 years ago

On what you are looking for. Ask yourself why you want to.havr the experience you seek. Sexual gratification? sexual diversity? Polyamorous relationship? Tick the bucket list? So it depends on how much emotional investment you and your partner need or want to put into the lifestyle. Women, not all, are more emotionally driven creatures and we can get emotionally attached, however small, with a lover/s. Not in a bf way, just liking them. That could scare away other men on here who can misconstrue your fondness for them as wanting the 'C' word. No. Lol I'm referring to commitment. That could mess up a friendship or at least change the dynamics which you may have settled into. I prefer not to play woth friends as I could lose that friendship. Specially long standing ones. For me, if it's just for sex, I'm better off shagging a vetted stranger as if things goes south, there won't be the emotional lost attached to it. My humble opinion only. Best wishes.

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RHP User

7 years ago

This regarding friendship versas stranger totally get that!!! Women are more invested yes indeed I had a thought mine was a little selfish.. mine was go rant to the fuck buddy hubby. Anyway thank you for your input much appreciated 😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

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inspirit

7 years ago

The one on kids - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

We wouldnt consider our friends to play, just had our first MMF a few days ago and are both hooked. As with any of our swinging, of course we were unsure how we would feel after, or even during.. we love this stuff.. from unsure to out looking for a BF after one play session.. woah haha, i married well.. - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

I will look into those books as you suggested thank you. We will discuss further maybe I require more talk from hubby and research or perhaps all this is me trying my hardest to crawl out of a hole that perhaps maybe is too deep.. even for me ha! I have always dove in the deep end in my past experiences this is what happens when you talk too much on a dicey subject like this. - Posted from rhpmobile

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Livingandloving2

7 years ago

The kind of questions to ask total strangers IMO.You need to discuss this with your husband...nobody else is in your relationship so how on earth do you think asking anybody else will be constructive?Seriously.....while you are in this questioning/investigating phase....the only two people involved in any of these decisions are you and your husband. Nobody else knows the ins and outs of what makes you tick as a couple. You are inviting strangers into your decision making and I think that's really dangerous for you both right nowMrs LAL

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RHP User

7 years ago

Here are my possibilities... Justin Martin, Brad Pitt, George Coonie, Ben Cousins... - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Thank you for your sternly ' naughty girl' What I should not say on a forum . I have spoken to my husband over and over and over!!! He who says he wants to then Reneg's then says he's into it and then goes off and on and off and on. A bit confusing to say the least and it makes me nervous that he feels this from time to time. And lately as we both have endlessly talked about it together over n over.. I feel like I am already 'over it'. To be perfectly honest.. I would have easily done this year's ago baut alas no one thought of asking me. Anywho that my friends is another story.. but thank you so very much for your thoughts much appreciated Btw my husband loved your comment - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Last comment I saw was yours, all was fine. Could be a glitch, one of mine vanished for no reason. But I keep getting an error when I try to message them to ask why. Is that happening to anyone else? Mods need to reassess this forum. The interference is bullshit

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RHP User

7 years ago

Who's Justin Martin ? Do you mean Dusty?

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RHP User

7 years ago

I kinda like you.. a bit of a shit stirrer I have noticed! - Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

7 years ago

Too much thinking, not enough rooting.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I have decided that I am not cut out to this exciting, different lifestyle ATM.. Thanks for your input alas I would rather be 100% going for it than 60% . Another thing your right if I was to do this .. talking on a forum isn't the best thing to do. Thanks much appreciated - Posted from rhpmobile

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AnnieWhichway

7 years ago

Not sure if you are the Mr or Ms. The way you have posted as in using, "l am not cut out for it". Perhaps you had trouble convincing the other half...... Perhaps they didn't know? There l am casting doubt again

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AnnieWhichway

7 years ago

My post above. One would think that l would have learnt to read the OP and subsequent post before posting..... Good luck OP

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RHP User

7 years ago

You are not considering your husbands view point. The first time you have a MMF you will not know how you will react. With excitement, with jealous, with uncertainly, will there be performance issues or will it be the best thing ever? You won't know until it's done - IMO your husband would probably feel better about things with someone who is not part of your friends circle. Because is things don't go to plan - who wants that constant reminder at social events? You can build up an online friendship and intimacy so that you feel comfortable and good about the threesome - you don't need to choose a close friend for this.

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inspirit

7 years ago

Perhaps controversial.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I do like and enjoy your comments (Mrs here) very interesting responses and I do thank you all for your time and passionate responses..luv rebelSub x - Posted from rhpmobile

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cat_n_the_hatter

7 years ago

You can ask any questions here. I think many people here experienced similar uncertainties, you just wanted to hear them. You see this as an experiment or even as a way of healing? Nevertheless, it is an intimate act for you, not just a 'play" and as a result you are nervous. I know I feel anxiety even when I watch others. To be with the friend is tricky. How close he is to you? Is he closer with your husband or you? How long you know each other? (Ms)

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RHP User

7 years ago

This question was based around my husbands thinking and for me to understand more about it I guess.An MMF situation to me isn't as simple as finding someone and fucking them.. to me I need to see more than that from a person that seeks a couple for sex. I understand the do's and don't of friendship and Fuck buddies.. people are right in saying this could potentially ruin a friendship.. however, I tend to search deeper and look beneath the surface of people that I believe are worth that time spent in doing this... I look for the ability of change in the manner the ability of humility, and understanding and respect and most of all I watch people a lot that I admire which is my husband and his mannerisms... I have to validate this man my hubby he has a very interesting, intelligent mind and he can pretty much work out if someone is full of shit.. but I also look for similar traits in others especially when i admire someone so highly. My husband has a kind natural deep down his friendships and his family means more to him than anything.. its funny he never really says it but his actions are very loud.. The only other person that would come close would be my father.. he is the master of chilvery and when he likes you just note its because he has a lot of respect for you and how you conduct yourself. When friends which funny enough are loud proud full of ego and no idea about what really matters then suddenly notices his friends qualities and is drawn to understanding or respecting him enough to want to pick his brain, not many friends we are left with after time only those that either can tolerate us, use us, or even god forbid learn from us.. those stay because their needs and wants are being met.. by hopefully positive qualities. This positive quality is only seen with time spent and constant learning and growing, alot of respect, towards each male friend but you can see it grow by watching them with yourself and his loved ones and you have to go I respect that a person can shift and want someone more than ego, vanity, and himself. A man is seldom recognized by his honor, you rarely hear this or even see this these days, this is because parents are now working and they don't have the time or the or even the energy to teach them and that is sad indeed. I can see this because it was one thing that I learnt firstly in my life was to watch my dad treat me with love, honor, respect and he taught me to laugh... and even those may be simple but to me they are the kindest things I have learnt and I found them in my husband and tried to teach them to my boy and when I recognise them in only a few men I have to validate and appreciate that chilvery is still alive and is very attractive.. If you have those simple traits then all the other traits of being who you like to be is okay, because falling back to what you once was is a natural thing. However, it is very attractive when you see them quickly go back to who they are. A very rare quality and I seldom see it these days in most men... they just don't understand or know how to do such a simple thing called respect.

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RHP User

7 years ago

I thought I would update this forum piece so discussed intently friends and I noticed an intense NO from my husband which triggered a mental stimulus that triggered interest in why such big NO.. this seemed to irritate him intently which generated more interested (I thinks that is a girl thing) You know ladies... tell a girl No means more information please, then telling a girl, I will be drilled hard, this then obviously because I did not know his mate friend like he did.. oh yes... of course it is his toy and he will play within whenever he wishes. This irritated and excited me to take that toy and shove it up to my sternly, gorgeous husband's ass.. so gently loveling and intently... Just informing you all of a mini update... Moto of this story... never say no to a girl because this ends up in a very long lengthy debate to why?? why honey oh tell me more honey lol

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