Nervousness - How do I bring someone new into the bedroom?

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  RHP User

  2 years ago

  Hello there! Im not sure of what happened with the guy but I guess if it were me, if there was no "getting to know you" session before hand and he was just led straight into the bedroom then yeah Id baulk at that too. I think commincation is key and even more important, if youre the one bringing a third into the equation then the first person Id be trying to introduce would be a woman if they are male. That way you can see they are trying to pleasue you and not yourself. This should probably build a bit of trust so that if you manage to get into this lifestyle, then eventually they be willing to allow males as a third because youve made the effort originally. Thats my "9.99 on special save 50%" worth anyway

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  sweetnyorkshire

  2 years ago

  Openess, Transparency and Communication needs to be your mantra. Does he know you've started this profile? And if so why not have a couples profile and give him the password so he's more involved. You seem to be the driving force of this journey, he doesn't seem to be keen on sharing you with another man and you have trust issues from your last relationship. Those are recipes for jealousy! You say that you have a 5 year long wonderful relationship therefore you should make each others welfare your priority rather than your desire as it would be a shame to jeopardise that relationship. Perhaps you could start by going to some swinger meetings that are purely sociable with no play involved to see how you connect with other people. That's how me and my partner started and from there we took baby steps until we were ready for full swaps. Don't rush into anything and keep talking to each other openly at every stage. Best of luck.

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  2EssesExploring

  2 years ago

  We started this journey as my wife had no other experience other than me. We started with women as this was her desire and where she felt safe. Of course was hard to find so we tried couples, which she liked but was literally scared to have the attention of other men and didn’t really enjoy the first few. After some talking and finding a couple we really relaxed with she experienced her first orgasm to another man. I had a mix of happiness and a little pang of jealousy that I’d lost the title of the only one but the closeness the openness brings far out ways silly notions of ownership. We now prefer to play with couples as we both love seeing each other perform. I suggest you both might like to find yourselves a relaxed couple and see what happens. Find a couple who you can talk to about how you feel, we find the people we really enjoy talking with are they ones we have the best fun in bed with. Hope this helps and feel free to contact us if only for a chat 🤗

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  MrMasage

  2 years ago

  Let him settle down first with you , and the same for you before you go bed hopping otherwise you might lose him for good

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  MrMasage

  2 years ago

  , btw your profile says you are looking for females and you are with a him ???

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  FeistyFatty

  2 years ago

  Tread lightly. You're a self confessed "jealous person"... Major red flag..... Communication is key with any swinging couple and you should be discussing this with him and working through your issues together. Just don't rush into anything, because you can't undo everything. Best of luck x

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  FeistyFatty

  2 years ago

  Having a couples profile and actually being in the journey "together" might help too.

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  nightingale8

  2 years ago

  I’ve heard good things about the book ‘The Ethical Slut’ if you’re looking for introspection My take is that jealousy is a lot to do with shame around not being good enough and fear of abandonment. The antidote is ‘simply’ finding ways to connect with yourself and others, in whatever way fits you. It’s not all about self-affirmation either - eg you’re a super sexual being, explore that! Get yourself a mirror, toys, develop your art of fantasy, find sexual activities outside of the routine, get good at pleasuring yourself. Bringing others in to give you pleasure can often stop short of what you can give yourself. There’s nothing more formidable and alluring than a woman who master of her own sexuality. I can see how a man would want to leave that while having the opportunity to share with others. Just my opinion.

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