New relationship

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  Mischeviouslad

  12 years ago

  Familiarity breeds contempt (or comfortable vanilla).... and hsving that person so readily available now, means opportunity that was previously limited is now not such a logistical isdue. So think laterally to add chilli and chocolate sauce to the vanilla. If you want the more 'raw' and urgent (passion?) type of sex.... create the element of time or location restrictions that demand it. Pull him/her into a quiet corner of the restaurant/museum/etc.... or.... before a scheduled meeting of family or friends...... or in the shower while running late for work.... get creative and active before that deadline. Bring back the urgency and limitation factor DG

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Familiarity breeds contempt (or comfortable vanilla).... and hsving that person so readily available now, means opportunity that was previously limited is now not such a logistical isdue. So think laterally to add chilli and chocolate sauce to the vanilla. If you want the more 'raw' and urgent (passion?) type of sex.... create the element of time or location restrictions that demand it. Pull him/her into a quiet corner of the restaurant/museum/etc.... or.... before a scheduled meeting of family or friends...... or in the shower while running late for work.... get creative and active before that deadline. Bring back the urgency and limitation factor DG Well I don't mind a bit of public fun so watch out Mr Wefukugood . He gets up for work at 4.30am and I am usually sound asleep at that hour so I will have to set my alarm occassionally and try out your suggestion or we can collect a few more lady friends and play a little more often (babysitters needed ).

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  Hanna_ybbn

  12 years ago

  With someone I met from here.We became involved in a relationship and moved in together fairly quickly.When we first met, he was so gung-ho sex and all 'I love oral' etc...Once we were living together, things changed rapidly.In the 8 months we were together he did not perform oral sex on me once.I even went to great lengths to make it fun and sexy. Don't even get me started on my personal hygiene - there is NO issue there.Anyway, he tried to tell me some bullshit story that he'd been abused as a teenager by a male adult and therefore couldn't bare to go down on a woman - yet had NO issue with being blown or sucked himself!As the months wore on, I realised that there was 2 possibilities - both turned out to be true!1 - He was lazy as shit2 - he was screwing around on me the whole timeEasy decision - I left. Unfortunately though, it's what it can do to your head in the process. All the questions the doubts.....Why? We used to...... All that.I see that your partner wants to treat you differently now you are in a committed relationship - but I have to wonder now where does he get his kicks from if he isn't getting them with you any longer? (the kinky stuff and rough stuff and fun stuff you spoke of that you once shared before the relationship changed)I'm NOT insinuating anything by posing the question but think about it?I guess it's from that personal experience that I can see it from a slightly different angle :)All the very best!Hanna xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  The sexual relationship changed because the relationship you both had previously with each other changed.Some might reason that romance and sex would improve with the security of commitment, others might say your sex life can be a reflection of how other things are going in your life.A relationship changes the actions you take it can also change your personal goals, dreams, desires,your level of activity, your exercise regimen, your eating habits,and your alcohol consumption.Sex doesn't come in a one-size-fits-all kind of package, and it's normal for couples to go though different styles and seasons.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Hanna_ybbn'With someone I met from here.We became involved in a relationship and moved in together fairly quickly.When we first met, he was so gung-ho sex and all 'I love oral' etc...Once we were living together, things changed rapidly.In the 8 months we were together he did not perform oral sex on me once.I even went to great lengths to make it fun and sexy. Don't even get me started on my personal hygiene - there is NO issue there.Anyway, he tried to tell me some bullshit story that he'd been abused as a teenager by a male adult and therefore couldn't bare to go down on a woman - yet had NO issue with being blown or sucked himself!As the months wore on, I realised that there was 2 possibilities - both turned out to be true!1 - He was lazy as shit 2 - he was screwing around on me the whole timeEasy decision - I left. Unfortunately though, it's what it can do to your head in the process. All the questions the doubts.....Why? We used to...... All that.I see that your partner wants to treat you differently now you are in a committed relationship - but I have to wonder now where does he get his kicks from if he isn't getting them with you any longer? (the kinky stuff and rough stuff and fun stuff you spoke of that you once shared before the relationship changed)I'm NOT insinuating anything by posing the question but think about it?I guess it's from that personal experience that I can see it from a slightly different angle :)All the very best!Hanna xxWe still share the kinky stuff and rough stuff and fun stuff as I ask for it when I want it. What's changed is that when not playing with me and my gf's (no solo and at the same time with me) he tends to be a little more vanilla when only with me till I ask for the fun stuff and I would like to ask a little less. He just has some silly thing in his head about those acts being for the casual sluts (his words, not mine) he used to fuck and not necessarily for his gf. He thinks that he should be making love to me and just not fucking me in between the dirty fun with my gf's. Funny considering he never fealt that way prior to committing to me, so lol I was a casual slut once. We indulge deffinately when we play with my gf's and they are my gf's first and foremost. He still gets his kicks with me and we have played twice with one of my gf's in the last three weeks so he also got his kicks as you put it then. He doesnt go out to pubs with the boys and is home within 30 minutes of being at work. His pay matches the hours he is at work. Work is dirty and messy and he's in no state for play during the day with the industry he works in well not even I would fuck him in the state he gets with the stuff that gets all over his clothing and body etc as it's pretty dirty and smelly work. Plus he car pools it to work with a co workier and there are no females at his work. So no issues with straying. He gets a taste of other women when my gf's are involved in play and I am happy with that as he is and he has always said that one of the things he loves about me is that I am bi as he likes bi women. Pretty confident that I am number one in his world and there is no cheating. My gf spent 41 years thinking she was gay and even had a child with her last female partner. She had never been with a man prior to last year and she is more into me than him. She realised that she also liked cock (lol thanks to us) but loves sex with women more. So I couldnt even say I was worried about her as I am always the central focus of her play with us. I kind of agree with mischeivouslad that familiarity can breed vanilla if your not careful and I have to admit that life has got in the way at times with the spontenaety of things due to work and kids. So I think it's that. We are working on keeping the spice in things together and he is working on remembering to put a little of that norty stuff into each play time with just me. Sorry to hear that you had that experience but hey everyone is different and you hopefully moved on well.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  My answer appears twice. No idea why that is happening. Thanks for your input people. xx

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'Nudierudie2'The sexual relationship changed because the relationship you both had previously with each other changed. Some might reason that romance and sex would improve with the security of commitment, others might say your sex life can be a reflection of how other things are going in your life. A relationship changes the actions you take it can also change your personal goals, dreams, desires,your level of activity, your exercise regimen, your eating habits,and your alcohol consumption. Sex doesn't come in a one-size-fits-all kind of package, and it's normal for couples to go though different styles and seasons. Well said wise lady: It's great listening to others perspectives. Makes you worry a little less about the seasons you speak of.I'm a natural worry wart kind of person and when things change I worry.

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  RHP User

  12 years ago

  Quoting 'wefukugood' Quoting 'Nudierudie2'The sexual relationship changed because the relationship you both had previously with each other changed. Some might reason that romance and sex would improve with the security of commitment, others might say your sex life can be a reflection of how other things are going in your life. A relationship changes the actions you take it can also change your personal goals, dreams, desires,your level of activity, your exercise regimen, your eating habits,and your alcohol consumption. Sex doesn't come in a one-size-fits-all kind of package, and it's normal for couples to go though different styles and seasons. Well said wise lady: It's great listening to others perspectives. Makes you worry a little less about the seasons you speak of.I'm a natural worry wart kind of person and when things change I worry. Your Welcome My answer was drawn from my own personal experience. When my Ex-partner and i got together we banged like a Dunny Door in a Hurricane!for at least 12 months before the so called "Honeymoon Period" wore off.Then there was a little Lull as we only had Baby making sex for a period of time until i fell pregnant with my daughter... Hormones dictated the next 9 months of my sex life and i couldn't get enough. I assumed that breastfeeding and the demands of a new baby would curtail my activities again... but it didn't 2 days after the birth I was gagging for it. This went on for another 12 months before it began to wane a little.It was then that things got real spicy indeed. Sex was never an issue in our relationship, we even had sex for about 12 months after we parted as we knew what each other liked and how they liked it, and found it easy to talk to each other about our Sexual needs, wants and desires. He was fantastic in bed,but really crap at relationships.

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