M53
New to this
October 08 2015
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
You only live once. Life is meant to be lived. Do you want to experiment with your partner or without your partner, that is the question isn't it? There is a lot of great couple's on this site that are happy to welcome you into their plays for a 3sum. Speaking from experience it is great with the right couple. I come on this site years ago being curious & now I wonder why I waited so long. Good luck with your journey & trust me you will be welcomed into the 3sum world. Just chat to some couples & they will guide you through it. Some guys are bi in the couples too.
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RHP User
9 years ago
if you mean to do this discretely without knowledge of your partner, you wouldn't be the only one on here, take it from me, you definitely wouldn't be. That decision is yours and yours alone, no judgement here. It's very common in a relationship for one partner or the other to want to stretch the boundaries, live out fantasies, move into this sexy swinging type world, whatever we want to call it, but spice it up and embrace it. But if one partner isn't interested in going there, quite often they never will go there, then you're left with 2 options which is the dilemma and I think what you said in your post, either cheat or continue to hope that she will get the sexy on and try some new things. There's no easy answer to that. For me, it was like a light switch, one minute I was completely vanilla, but hormones I think and a very high sex drive, pushed me into taking a chance, once I'd crossed that line, it was full steam ahead, no going back. I now couldn't imagine not being the way I am now. As far as what you're wanting her to do, my thoughts are that you're pulling out the big guns straight up, strap on? Strap ons aren't for everybody, anal play in general isn't for everybody. So why don't you leave out those full on things and keep gently suggesting the threesome, with a male, so the appeal is there for her, but again, man on man also isn't for everyone, particularly women just starting with this, you need to give it time to evolve, and if you really want her to come along for the ride, think about her needs first, yours will come later, but give her the royal treatment, fully indulge her, who knows what the future will hold. Would she go to the nude beach?Does she normally have a high sex drive and has she shared her fantasies with you? If so, what specifically does she fantasize about? I found the nude beach was a great move into it, and would recommend anyone just starting to go and take their clothes off in front of other people. Scariest thing but once I felt that warmth from the sun and the air on my, well enough said, within minutes I loved it, she might be the same. You can even suggest finding a slightly more private area so not so many people around, ease into it, get her comfortable like that, and if she gets as horny as I do in the sun, trust me, the rest will follow But baby steps and look at indulging her, a woman teased, tantalised and pleasured enough, will respond in a very giving way and I haven't looked at your profile, I'm sorry I should have, to see what your preferences are. Either way, anal is something for me that I used to hate, even had it written in my profile to 'leave my bum alone' haha, my how things can change, blushing so you can't expect her to bowl on in headfirst into that kind of activity, think about what you can do for her, not you at this stage, take it from me, you do that and you'll get it back in spades. If you don't, then at least you know you've really tried - good luck
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Mischeviouslad
9 years ago
Anyone else? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I've been off for 6 weeks so must've missed the last time this was covered. But I figure the bloke needs some feedback. And that's all it is... Feedback. We're all different and I don't know you, much less, your partner. In my opinion (and it's simply a personal one). In a committed relationship, there is no room for 'cheating' of any kind for any reason. It's betrayal, unless the other half are aware and are OK with your extra curricular activities. You can end up losing everything, for a fantasy. Even as strong as the desire for that 'variety' that your wife doesn't seem to be too over excited about. I've only ever been part of a marriage (1st one) in which she was Bi, so I had the lucky happenstance of be party to sharing her liking (which also happened to be mine... females in quantities of one or more). She didn't want any other male involvement. As for advice as to what you can do to bring her around, I think that the lovely 'I_Touch_Myself2' has given you all the ideas and advice that you could ask for. I thought of X Rated Movies or Internet Porn, shared with her, to get her 'senses' acquainted with the goings on in the types of situations you are wondering about... But I don't know if you both already share porn or whether she's pretty sheltered and 'Vanilla' (for want of a better expression). Many couples do, as a way to spice things up or get in the mood, if one or the other is a bit slow out of the gate. Before the Internet (20 years ago), and these types of sites (not much more than 10 years ago) that's all we had. I know from my experience, that many women 'come into their own' sexually in their 40's Some women on here may not agree with that, but that's what I've experienced. So again, a personal opinion, based solely on the women I've known and spoken to about such things. Upside down when you consider that our sexual peak is generally between 18 to 35. Not that we're not up to the challenge, even into out 90's, but we do slow down, compared to what we were capable of at 20, while women tend to liven up. So, it could be a matter of waiting and 'gently' using the advice given by ITM2 and she may well gallop ahead of you, slowly... LOL. But just from a very 'personal' point of view (which is only mine and based only on my feelings and ideals). Don't go the 'cheating way'. It's such an awful thing to do to someone you profess to love. But as has been said, it's your decision if it comes to that and the answer in that situation is ONLY in your head. Best of luck, Mate. I hope things work out well for all concerned.
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langton11
9 years ago
I'm not sure if this help, but my approach was as follows. I started buying my wife more risque, but classy, clothing. Immediately she started getting comments which I assume built up her confidence and made her realise there was no crime in showing a bit of skin; kinda helps that the wife has a pretty hot body though. Once the dust had settled I introduced some more toys into the bedroom and went a bit more adventurous with the porn (which she has always been into watching). The next step was introducing new places to have sex. This is the stage I'm at presently. So far, what I can say is it's a LONG road, people don't often change overnight. It's paramount to go forward at a pace that she is comfortable with and additionally there will be set backs along the way from life and work etc. My wife is keen to do the girl on girl thing an she is open to the couple on couple thing which we have discussed so luckily I'm not working with a closed book. TBH I have cheated a fair bit prior to marriage and it's never ended well for me. I've now been with me wife for 22 years, had my share of opportunities, but have not cheated once. I'm not saying don't cheat, but what I am saying is once you have, you cannot take it back. Something like 80% of divorces are due to infidelity. As I have kids, there is absolutely nothing in this world I would do risk losing them.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have you tried using a toy on yourself? DIY & BYO, no one else required. There are inflatable 'sex furniture' things with dongs pointing skyward, and dildos with suction cups that can go on the wall of the shower. If you rrrrreeally like it, you could even invest in a 'fucking machine'.
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Seachange
9 years ago
As Mischievouslad alluded to, it may help for you to refer to recent discussion on very similar subject, I believe raised just over a month ago. Link as per below Changes to routine can always be daunting and should be approached with sensitivity if you care for your partner. Intelligent, emphatic and open communication should help before any drastic action takes place that may compromise your valued relationship. At the end of the day, is losing her and what you have built over the years worth it if she wont go down the path you desire? Take your time to listen to her and find out what are her fears that make her hesitate. You may be surprised that the hesitation may have nothing to do with fear or resistance to 'kinkier' sex. I was in the same boat as her with my ex and it took a sensitive and caring lover for me to venture beyond the vanilla after I broke up with my ex. I wish you luck. Be patient., Be kind. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Have-you-been-down-this-path-49678
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RHP User
9 years ago
So many women have body issues, so that may be her biggest fear. In my early 20's when I was a size 8, was the time I was least confident in myself! Couldn't even wear a bikini.... now I'm happily naked in any situation. Only because I put myself out there, and with much positive reinforcement I now understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but who gives a fuck what they think anyway?? lol, confidence is key! My point is make her feel beautiful, sexy and attractive....have you's discussed what SHE may be interested in doing? Mabey start in the chat room, play a little on cam, attend a meet and greet and chat to other swingers who have been in the same boat. Good luck!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thanks to all, Cheating probably is not the best way but well i think i might fint it exciting and if its discrete then everyone is happy, we have been together a long time and have kids. i have been sucking that sweet spot since she was 17.She just rang actually and was implying hat things might get interesting tomorrow night but well its nothing we have not done before but lets see what comes of it.i have been upfront from the start that i wanted an interesting sex life and it is not all bad but i think we have talked about some interesting stuff in the heat of the moment including a threesome with maybe a bloke as the 3rd party and maybe double penetration but as i say its all talk. i take on board what people are saying particuarly the chicks. she is the jealous type but really she was the one to get the attention when we were young she had a pretty good figure and a pretty face and i never got much attention from the girls but somehow wooed her. I always had a freind that wanted too try cut my cake but somehow we got through it. i never wanted to include those old freinds back then and dont regret that and in a way having a playmate who is not a close freind seems like a better option.we have some porn and she is happy to watch girl on girl porn with me but i dont think she would really want to go down on another chick ( unfortuneatly) maybe, just maybe she would let another girl go down on her if we had the opportunity.Strapons, strapless etc. well I have mentioned well into the past. we did have a crappy double dong that we tried without much success but i still think she is weird about it. i do not want to turn Gay but as they say you only live once. i do not even want to turn Bi but i think i would experiment. the possibilities are endless. if yu are willing to try things. its all about sex and experiences to me. just for fun. maybe it will be a pain in the ass!we have some basic toys and live in small towns without adult shops. I travel but i am still weary of oming home with a strap on and saying hey i think its time you take a turn on me.Maybe i need to reassure her yes, i will try. maybe a dirty weekend perhaps. i have tried to work on myself with the basic toys we have but yeah its a little awkward. we do try but i guess i want it to be a more regular thing and While i had sex before her i still want to have more experiences with some different partners. Well just because i suppose.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Get her on here and tell her you created the profile so she can find a man for a threesome or a lover that she may like... You may even lose her if she unleashes on here, because the amount of women compared to men and couples wanting men is quite outweighed. I'd suggest you "slowly introduce her to the scene and make sure it's "her" choice and her "wants" that are being fulfilled. In my experience, women like this sometimes will end up leaving the partner that wanted this lifestyle for someone else that participates in the lifestyle... Be careful, it may backfire on you. Mrs Ex
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RHP User
9 years ago
so forgive me here, but you need to back off, you can't possibly expect her to go straight in with dp and anal, giving and/or receiving etc It also sounds like you want to experiment with bi which is fine in itself, but that's a major thing for your wife to adjust to if she hasn't done any of this. When I say back off, you talk about a threesome but then you go gung ho straight into the talk of a dp? Too much, too soon, as langton said, it takes time, and it could take a lot of time. Let me explain my experience to give you some idea of how long it took me to ease into this. Okay so some of it was straight in, but like I said, anal wasn't something I ever thought I would like, it just kind of happened over time, and wasn't successful or enjoyable with some guys, just was lucky to have a few who hit the spot, right things happened at the right time, loved it with them, so have evolved, but I wouldn't have cared if that never came into play. I don't need it to orgasm. Go back and read what I wrote slowly and consider things I said like first getting nude in front of other people. I couldn't even do that, I'd never been nude in front of anyone, since I was young at least, but never in public. Now, nearly a year on, I'd I have sex in front of a stadium of people, absolutely no fear of being watched or seen, turns me on. But if you'd told me that a year ago, I would have scoffed at it and never in a million years would have imagined myself being like I am now. I worried about how my pussy should look, all women think about those things at some stage, are my boobs too saggy, how does my butt look, so on and so on. Now I let it all hang out haha and at this ripe old age lol go figure Different for me also because of hormones related I'm guessing to my age, if hormones aren't rolling full steam ahead like mine are, expect the whole process to be a gentle shift, baby steps. I don't feel like you get that. If you don't stop to think about her needs, and from what you're saying, it sounds like it's all about you, you could very well end up trashing your marriage. Again, not judging (that's a decision for you and you only), but if you don't want that to happen, think carefully about the leaps you're wanting to take, pretty scary for most women not used to this. Just my opinion, respectfully of course
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RHP User
9 years ago
I wont say too much because it wont be what you really want to hear.But from what you say about your partner, she sounds like a good and caring wife. Dont hurt her as you will lose what she is to you, and she will lose what she thought she had with you, which is her trust in you.how sad would it be if your happy marriage all went to shit just because, as you say"cheating might be exciting" Oh and one last thing, you say you dont want to turn gay or even bi, in your last comments.Enjoying a dildo or strapon in your butt does not have anything to do with sexual orientation. If you dream of sucking a niice hard dick or fucking a guy... Well you might be tipping the scales towards bisexuality then.
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RHP User
9 years ago
another long winded post, must learn to condense
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RHP User
9 years ago
The girls are right maybe i seem a little upfront but i have tried persuasion over the last 20 years and the relationship is not all bad but I am different to her. i dont think she will ever put herself out there and share. i have contained my urgesi will listen to the girls and try giving more.i have a perfect location at work that has an old world charm and could be a romantic getaway although public it should be vacant after hours. i could hide towels in the boatshed and have a bottle of wine in the moonlight before i pose the idea of skinny dipping in the creek. It should be OK if the campers dont wander up with the same idea. After that we can kick back on the picnic rug naked with a lot of cuddling and kissing and maybe stay and play.She is overdue to spend some time down here.if all goes well we can do a dirty weekend somewhere with a adult shop and she might find something she might use. She will talk about it but it wont be a turn on unles she wants to do me. i guess i feel i could find a proffessional to do it but it would be just like liniing up to get fucked with no intamacy or feeling. i think engaging a prostitute works for some but might just be a way to get a load off with a partner that is doing it for your benefit and it has no meaning and i think even adventurous or kinky se xshould have some meaning with any or all partners in the mood to go where the mood takes itthanks
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RHP User
9 years ago
Strap ons are so much fun!! My suggestion is to go adult shopping together and let her dip her toes in :) you may not buy something off the bat but I personally find going to the adult store helps with coming to terms with some fantasies that you may hide deep within :) That's how my now ex partner and I explored strap ons :) he wanted to explore and to help me come to terms with the fact that I found it erotic went and had a look at the sexy little devils together! I was pleasantly surprised at how normal they were (at the time) before we knew it we had hired a hotel room and had a bag of goodies! One of the mist fun hotel nights ever! Hope this helps :) Xx tam - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
yes shopping might be the go. As for all of the other fantasy stuff these are things we talked about when younger and in the heat of the moment. She said it would be nice to try take on 2 blokes etc but i think it was all talk and fair enough.i could start another profile with her or for her and see what comes of it.My posts might seem out there but i guess i am curious to try experience different things. Unfortuneately she may not be open to the same things i am thinking. i would probably let her bring a male freind to be if we both knew who and what was Ok with all.i dont think it would work with a close freind and when we were young she got a lot of attention from other blokes including some mates. the way i see it some of those mates would have just been trying to shag her behind my back for a laugh. the thing is they werent a bad bunch but they knew no boundaries and would not have cared to shag here and tell everyone it wasnt going to wiorry them and they would not have given a shit about her after and i would have left if i had been aware. pretty much we have kids and built a life together and even though i want to do something for me i a unidentified here and want to be discrete and am not trying to decive anyone here.we might get to shopping, i can try lead her to the strapons etc it has been talked about but i think she just thinks its a bit odd but i believe it is practised by others.
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PL1963
9 years ago
Hey Muso, what was the results of "Dick pic Week"? I'm sure we'd all love to hear how it "worked for ya' all". Lol. Cheers Paul. Least I can see out of my left eye again now without that "monstrousity" in it. Lol.
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