RHP

RHP User

M51

New to this

May 09 2016

My wife and I have talked about swinging and if it would work for us. We are early 40's, average couple who have never done anything like this before. Our sex life is ok, but we feel like we have slipped into routine and are looking for something a little different. Not sure if we can jump straight in and start swinging but we are definitely interested. How have other people started out? If we attend a party and decide we can't go through with it, is that ok?We have so many questions, where do we start?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    my opinion, harsh as it might sound, is that I don't think it's 'we' at all, I think it's you. Where's your wife? Why are you on here with a generic profile. You say in your profile your wife and you etc etc Sorry, not washing with me, don't really care what anyone thinks about that. If she's really interested, bring her along

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I started out with my partner who was heavily in the scene. So my advice would be to go to parties and clubs and chat to people, be voyeurs and just watch first up. Go home and discuss what you have seen, what you enjoyed want you didn't and set some rules/boundaries between you. Do you always play together or is it okay to spilt up for example. All the parties I have attended had an open door policy, not sure if this the norm, but there are always the exhibitionits there and they are always looking for an audience. So there is no problem with that at all. That is to go watch and not play. Does Adelaide have a variety of clubs and parties tho?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    I ring the organizers when I can before attending for the first time so that I know what the rules and expectations of the party are. Some parties have a strict dress down policy or even have an expectation that people will be nude even if not playing. But that is only one type of party, so best to call and ask. :)

  • social_suicide

    social_suicide

    9 years ago

    We were basically the same as you and just jumped right in. The hardest part is finding people that you are both attracted too. Get KIK as a messenger, maybe use skype as well. Take your time with vetting. Put up a few couples/portrait photos, specify what you don't want and best of luck. For us playing with couples isn't as much fun as MFM, couples for the most part seem to be limited to around the 2 hr mark ( smash and grab ) whereas the single male is happy to stay and play all night and sleep over ( on occasions )which ultimately leads to a more relaxed time.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    My suggestion would be to add some pictures to your profile and verify it.Then you may get some people taking you a little more seriously and also have a good read on the forums you will find plenty of information in the newbies section on this exact question.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'CandyDelicious' I started out with my partner who was heavily in the scene. So my advice would be to go to parties and clubs and chat to people, be voyeurs and just watch first up. Go home and discuss what you have seen, what you enjoyed want you didn't and set some rules/boundaries between you. Do you always play together or is it okay to spilt up for example. All the parties I have attended had an open door policy, not sure if this the norm, but there are always the exhibitionits there and they are always looking for an audience. So there is no problem with that at all. That is to go watch and not play. Does Adelaide have a variety of clubs and parties tho? Quoting 'CandyDelicious' I started out with my partner who was heavily in the scene. So my advice would be to go to parties and clubs and chat to people, be voyeurs and just watch first up. Go home and discuss what you have seen, what you enjoyed want you didn't and set some rules/boundaries between you. Do you always play together or is it okay to spilt up for example. All the parties I have attended had an open door policy, not sure if this the norm, but there are always the exhibitionits there and they are always looking for an audience. So there is no problem with that at all. That is to go watch and not play. Does Adelaide have a variety of clubs and parties tho? Yes Adelaide has plenty of parties and a thriving BDSM scene if they are into that.The RHP national meet is in Adelaide this year & Busybees have parties listed which are newbie friendly but have a dress code.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Sounds good. I have never been to Adelaide myself. Lots of churches is all I know. :)

  • madotara69

    madotara69

    9 years ago

    If you attend an event, no you are not obliged by any means other than being polite, guess that's a given anyhow. Mado Mado Tara xx

  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    9 years ago

    OP- don't let a rude poster dissuade you from asking questions. When Mr LAL and I started our journey we didn't have a good profile either. Good luck on your journey xx Mrs LAL

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    9 years ago

    I Touch. Again with the attitude, seriously give it a break!! Why you feel the need to lambast every profile who is a male part of a couple exploring new territory? When my ex partner and I were exploring swingjng it was HE who did the forays into RHP and other sites, while I cooked dinner. 😁 I would then read what I wanted later in the night and we would chat about things we had read and things we were interested in. So maybe don't judge so quickly and try to be more accepting of other people's journeys. Thats my opinion and it might be harsh, but I don't care what anyone else thinks.

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    9 years ago

    Sorry to divert your topic with my previous post but I felt some moral support was due. I found when we first ventured into the scene with my then partner that talking and talking and then some more talking helped us decide some boundaries we were happy with. That then gave us some guidelines to take to our first outings. We never went to parties, instead just met with people and explored from there. As we did so, we reset some of our guides, talked some more, and then played again. Sites such as this gave us great insight into what worked for others and what we were happy to explore, so I think your foray here is a great idea. Now happily single for 5 years I have undertaken the same journey as a single person...well maybe not so much talking as it would be to myself 😁 These days I bounce ideas and thoughts around with some of my beautiful friends from this site. When you attend parties you usually are not obligated to play, but it would be best to chat with the hosts prior to the event to ensure that is okay with them. I'm always happy to chat via message if you would like further input....as you are a guest you will need to send me a flirt so I can then message you to start the conversation. Good luck, its a pretty amazing journey! 😊

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    ...you'll be bound to find others that are right there with you too and very supportive of your own individual journeys. Happens whether you be a single or couple.... even us single males and equally so when we do get to meet couples that are interest in that too. Just don't wear a target on your back in the early days... save them for use as shields as you progress. Line from an old song... ''You can't please everyone so you...got to please yourself.'' All the best.......

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Welcome My initial impression of your profile is that you have set it up with your wife's consent , that you are dipping your toe into the new world of swinging to gain information, to ask questions, to read the forums and then to discuss all that you have read /learnt with your wife. However, its nobody's business if you have set up your profile for any other reason than what I've just stated. You have been open and honest in your profile about your current situation and marital status. Please do not feel you have to justify your profile or your reasons for being here or your forum topic because there are others here that chose to judge your profile and not address your forum topic. The forums are a excellent place to start, for asking questions about any possible topic and if you navigate and search the site you will find forums/discussions about swinging which should answer all your initial questions In answer to your original questions, I think a club is a better way to start off, as opposed to a private party, where you can go, without any pressure and observe , take it all in and then leave and discuss all that you have seen. And yes at no time, at any venue are you obligated to participate or "play". Remember all swingers were newbies and nervous once My only advice to you both is, is to have continual open and honest discussion about your new journey, continually updating each other on your likes, dislikes, boundaries, rules, limits and more importantly how you are both feeling about this new venture Enjoy

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    My partner and I are new to the scene and want to play but have no idea on how to test the waters with people to find out about parties in our area! Any ideas for Darwin?!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Sorry, you lost me at EX partner, and you use that as a bright shining example? I'll continue to have my opinions. Thank you for yours 💋

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Welcome to the forums OP and don't worry about I_touch, we copped the same treatment from her a little while ago when it was a "married guy / open relationship" profile. If you and your wife agree to proceed then convert it to a couple profile and get verified as that will open up more opportunities for you both if you want to meet people on here. We started swinging a few years ago and have tried couples, MFM and 1-on-1 open play and are still finding our niche. Explore your fantasies, try some new experiences and communicate always and you'll find what works for you as a couple and what doesn't. Good luck! Mr D

  • Livingandloving2

    Livingandloving2

    9 years ago

    I think you need to mind your manners and abide by the rules of this site. Basically calling people fake on here just because you think you're entitled to isn't cool. I'm really disappointed the moderators of this site don't stop that kind of thing. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    9 years ago

    He was my partner at the time we started exploring, and had been my partner for many years. Poorly worded on my behalf, but explained with more clairty in my second post.

  • Seachange

    Seachange

    9 years ago

    Quoting 'Jessicacr2' My partner and I are new to the scene and want to play but have no idea on how to test the waters with people to find out about parties in our area! Any ideas for Darwin?! Go to the Events section of RHP. Click on the state you are interested in and voila. A list of all parties, both private and public would be made available to you. Just register your interest that is most suited to you and then just wait for the organizers to contact you for details or further enquiries. Always be aware that fees are involved in nmost of them. Single women go in for free most of the time. Also check the party rules and regulations that apply. simple really. Enjoy and good luck

  • RHP

    RHP User

    9 years ago

    Hi all. So a while ago my man and I started talking and wanting to try a threesome, this is something I have always wanted to try and have always been attracted to a beautiful girl. We have tried the clubbing approach but it's not really our scene so we started looking on sites like this..... The problem seems to be that there's not many single girls out there or not many that that we can find. One through is that my man has done most of the replying to the one or two girls we did find. So my questions are, Is this a good place to start if I'm only wanting a single girl to join us and not a couple and is is better if I do all the talking. Any input is welcome and thanks in advance. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    9 years ago

    Yes it is the right place, but you may not get instant results. There are a lot of couples looking for single women, and not many single women looking for couples. Supply and demand. Always best if you do the talking; there are a number of couples profiles which are in actual fact a male only. The result of that is single women can be a little suspicious of only talking with a male from a couples profile.

  • fun_two

    fun_two

    9 years ago

    Wish you were in Brisbane

  • MsJonesy

    MsJonesy

    9 years ago

    Awww. Thank you 😊