RHP

RHP User

M42 F40

Newish to domination.

January 06 2014

I am the Dom and she is the sub. I have no problems at all about working out punishments or ways to restrain her but looking at expanding on rewards. She loves to be face smashed so I will do that to her but would like some more ideas anyone got any?

Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    do not face smash her what ever that means but it sounds a little violent it would not be nice to leave bruises!!!!! rewards could be like allowing her to suck you or you licking her pussy to the point of orgasm then stop you need to discuss what she wants as a reward so you are both on the same page communication is the name of the game good luck R x

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    The mister is the Dom? From your profile pictures it looks like Mister is definitely the sub, so that is a bit confusing. I don't even want to ask what face smashed is......... doesn't sound nice. What other things does she like? You know being the Dom shouldn't just revolve around sex you know. What else does the she like to do in her every day life?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    We're in an experimental phase. I tried the Dom thing but I definitely enjoy being the sub way more :) he likes dominating me, tying me up so I have no control and he means face fucking, I love it

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    at times the best reward is when she has had her fill and is spent as only a good sub can be hold her in your lapand stoke her hair and just tell what a good girl she is and how pleased you are with her and mean itI find at times the game we must play as those that hold the lease is to understand the places in our play mates mind where wispers lay and our job is to help them explore those singlea moments where they loose themselfs and find piece then there are the times where the best fun is just to lauph at fact of just how silly it all is :-) to be truthful the answer lies in how long is a piece of string and only the two of you will know whats best ps i should not be alowed a keyboard when drinks are involoved...... hic

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    You have no problems with punishment at all but have trouble thinking about rewards???? She likes to be 'face smashed'? I think Bruno just got a soft on. Shouldn't you be asking her what she would like? Isn't that part of a healthy D/S relationship?

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    If you can't think of rewards or things to keep it going then you might just be trying a little too hard to get into the lifestyle rather than finding the lifestyle suits you. The whole rewards thing shouldn't be hard, should be a natural part of your role as a Dom. Rewards aren't just for one person and aren't something you just hand out because Rex fetched the ball and needs to be acknowledged. Rewards should come as part of the submissive process, knowing she has pleased you, that the pleasure she has received through the task set has given you pleasure. The Dom/sub relationship is a complex one and the moment you start thinking it is about punishment/rewards you are done for. As some suggest above, start with talking about her boundaries, how far she can be pushed and guided and her fantasies. If others are part of your game, perhaps involving one of her fantasies is a way to go. But the reward, well that is the experience isn't it and seeing an absolute look of satisfaction because she has been dominated properly and has pleased her Dom and validated the trust she has given you.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Sigh

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    What is "face smashed"?? Is that where you brutally fuck her face like in some porn movies?? - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I agree with both Meeka and paint me Face smashed ??? That's really hard core stuff

  • Missb4u

    Missb4u

    11 years ago

    has become the norm hasn't it? not something I would really consider hard core or limited to porn anymore. as for rewards...yeah what Mind_Fuck...ops sorry Mind_Lover said..

  • twowithnolimits

    twowithnolimits

    11 years ago

    1. the primary reward should be derived from satisfying your master/dom/owner and not from your own personal satisfaction like having your pussy licked......... 2. i think it more accurate to say "tyre kicking" the fetish scene has "become the norm" for many, not an overwhelming rise in true kinksters, this is very similar to the "leather movement" being taken over by fashionable punk culture previously etc 3. the term i think you are all searching for based on subs own comments is generally accepted as "skullfucking" 4. a true D/s relationship integrates the physical, the psychological, the emotional and the cultural and if you understand your partner on this level you should be able to identify your own reward system

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Okay, sound like something else. But yes some people absolutely love it, hi want to gag until the tears are running down their face.

  • chevtrek

    chevtrek

    11 years ago

    Always respect your sub as for rewards.It can be sexual or even food just ask herwhat she wants.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    of ridickulouse has a lot to answer for....dom- arse book

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I agree with Mind_Lover. It takes some thought to play games and having a Sub/Dom relationship. Do a kinktest. Find out what turns you on and why. Read some books about the topic. Seek guidance in the community. I think you'll find some help at fetlife. No questions are to silly. Trust is the key.

  • twowithnolimits

    twowithnolimits

    11 years ago

    Sooooo true!

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Quoting 'chevtrek' Always respect your sub as for rewards. It can be sexual or even food just ask her what she wants. And now I've got an image in my head of Miss Sub performing tricks for liver treats.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    I think more the problem is that all the punishments are funishments for me so really his punishments are rewards it's all confusing... Still new to this but loving it - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Can I ask are you asking this question as a couple who is keen to adopt the d/s lifestyle? Or are you asking as a couple who like to do a bit of role playing now and then or during sex and the lead up to sex? Are you in a serious D/S relationship, as it sounds to be like you are both just doing a little experimenting at the moment. Nothing wrong with that. I suppose you will have noticed some of the frustrationd and even negative comments when ever a question like this is asked and it's because the people in the D/S lifestyle are frustrated with all the wannabes and men that want to be a dom and end up treating a woman badly........ because that is what they think being a Dom is about or just because that is the way they role. Thanks. :)

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    We're more experimenting I suppose, the d/s thing is limited to the bedroom as we have small children. I have complete trust in him to control me, tie me up, whip me, whatever. To me, the whole experience is the reward, he knows what I like and has never crossed the boundaries. I see a lot of people posting about D/S as a lifestyle, I don't think that we could live it we are happy as it being as it is in the bedroom. It confuses me, I've read a lot of stuff on fetlife and it makes me even wonder if what we are doing is a D/S thing but whatever I'm happy with where we are now. - Posted from rhpmobile

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    No idea!! Lol. Like me I like to role play and have a little fun with it, but I don't say I am into BDSM. For some people it's an entire lifestyle and their D/s relationship can be 24/7 down to being told what To wear, etc. I saw a comment the other day which said something like "if you think being a dom is about sex, then maybe you are not a dom." :D

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    For me ropes, blindfolds, some spanking (v. Light for me), is just normal part of sex... When you are having a bit of extra fun.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    that's all that matters. Every relationship is different and just because you don't live the lifestyle 24/7 doesn't mean your not his submissive to his Dominance. Experiment away and enjoy. Sensation play can be very rewarding, show her your adoration in her submissiveness, tell her beautiful things that you love about her (be seductive with it), bathe her, wash her hair, massages, there are many ways you can reward her and remain dominant besides sexual rewards.

  • RHP

    RHP User

    11 years ago

    Master enjoys braiding my long dark hair tightly before play, he explains it gives him better control to grab my hair and to control me. he also says it gives me a uniformed look which pleases him. After he has enjoyed me and I have fulfilled my duties as his sub he rewards me by having me kneel between his legs, while he undoes my restrained hair and brushes it out. This is my favourite reward, I find this extremely erotic as his touch comes with less assertiveness and more lusting care. Its a great way to end what are intensely pleasing sessions. x