M40
Newly Opened Marriage - seeking advice
March 11 2015
Comments
-
RHP User
10 years ago
means that she will play regularly without too much effort...and you will hardly play with a lot of effort. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Smilingwithfun
10 years ago
You seem to be not playing on a level playing field. I would have thought a Swingers club was your best opportunity to have new experiences, certainly for you as a male. Pressure at a swingers club? If you haven't been then how can you know. Perhaps suggest a visit to one just to look with your wife, a non playing visit, you won't be the only ones just looking.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
as we recently had another thread that I suggest you find and read about a guy who had his nose out of joint because his wife was getting plenty and he wasn't. It seemed to turn into ugly tit for tat sessions of sex rather than enjoying the experience. It is much harder as a man to get sex than a woman so you might just have to get used to the idea.
-
DynamicCouple36
10 years ago
Do you intend to play together with other couples / singles, or is the intention that you play alone ? Ie you, the male goes to a swingers club, whilst your wife stays at home or goes to a bar to pick up random males? We never play alone, and when we have swapped partners, we have always ensured that we are within arms reach of one another. There is no pressure at swingers clubs, or parties, to do anything. No always means No. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
At 30 you have been married for .... years I'd suggest the more your wife gets the more likely it is your relationship will fail. The underlying theme sounds wrong, your 'Open' status is a joint venture as opposed to a guy doing it privately for whatever reason. If she is your age or younger then she is in her sexual prime with the confidence of a mature girl and a partner who has basically said she isn't enough for him. Was it you or her that wanted variety ? The majority of couples and genuine swingers have more years of marriage under their belt, sexual exclusivity has lost its importance in favour of strong resilient companionship and a willingness to allow a partner to be happy. Without knowing more of your arrangement it is hard to say but your situation is normal and very risky for you, she'll be right...whats her number btw LOL
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks @ smilingwithfun. Im dead keen on the clubs. Shes not tho. I think she has a preformed idea of what they are like. I like the suggestion of a non playing visit. I'll bring it up with her tonight when I get home - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
You asked how you present such an arrangement to a prospective fuck... Easy, if its so open you give her your wifes number, maybe you'll get lucky and have a 3 some. Just curious how do you think your wife presents it ? I'd bet she doesn't even raise it and the guys never ask !
-
RHP User
10 years ago
@ ralf74 cheers for the heads up. We got a communication plan set up so we are talking nightly about how we are going and feeling. Im getting my fair share so far but it has all been with old friends that live about a 3hr round trip away. Im looking to meet people in melbourne. Iv always made friends through friends but having no close friends neerby im finding it hard to break into groups - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
It's a fact of life that it will be much easier for her and bloody difficult for you. To avoid the possible pitfalls Ralf has mentioned, have you and your wife thought of meeting people together as a couple?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'simple_desires' means that she will play regularly without too much effort...and you will hardly play with a lot of effort. - Posted from rhpmobile That's pretty much it. I recommend you consider playing WITH your partner if you go to a club stay by your partners side, leaving her is Very bad manners in swing clubs. If you go together you'll have equal luck and some nights you might want to spoil her and just grab a single guy and some nights she might spoil you. It will keep the balance for you bud and you will still have amazing sexual adventures together! :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I have spent 10 years working as a bouncer in bars and nightclubs and am well aware of the fact that its easy for women to pickup and more dificult for men. What I am wanting to know is how to approach the situation as somone in an open relationship. For example. In a bar about 2am last sunday (yay long weekends) I had an interested young lady. She added me on facebook and saw that I was married, asked me about it, I told her our situation. Even offered for her to meet my wife so that she could see I wasnt out to cheat. And she couldnt get out of the place any faster. Advice on these situations is what im looking for. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
that the odds are stacked against you OP. You're screwed. All relationships have "rules" or "dealbreakers" attached to them and that should be the case. These "rules" allow us to work at the relationship within guidelines that are usually agreed upon that are born out of love and respect for each other Now when you open the relationship up, the first question you have to ask each other is do you have a strong enough relationship to tackle the issues that will arise from what your going to experience ? As other posters have stated, you (the male) will struggle. The majority of females will not play with a married man unless you are in a swing situation . If you are seeking anyone on sites like RHP, you can only hope that you can find a female in a similar attached situation like yourself and you will find that rare as. I'm a single girl but I would involve myself with anyone attached even if they have permission to play, way too much hassle (base this on my past experience). From what I've heard, it doesn't bother most men if a woman is attached. Your wife has asked that you not approach her friends and I think that is a fair request but at the same time has rejected you both going to a swing club where you will have as much chance to meet with another partner(s) to explore with as your wife would I'm also amazed that she has stated that she will feel pressured there without (I assuming ) ever attending one I have attended swing parties and clubs and honestly can say I've never been pressured or hassled . I felt quite safe and respected (more there than say a night club) To deny you both going to a club/party is going to disadvantage you severely In a nutshell, your Mrs is going to be "getting some" and you are probably not. How are you going to feel about that ? And just a passing observation and me thinking out loud You're 30 years old so I'm going to assume you've only been married a short while (lot of assumption here) Now don't get me wrong I'm all for couples exploring together. Totally. But the word for me is together. I'm wondering why you are both pursuing a open marriage so early in the peace. If you are having issues in your marriage, do you think this approach will resolve anything or am I just overthinking. I just wondering why people get married anymore ?
-
langton11
10 years ago
Quoting 'Hotnhotter' It's a fact of life that it will be much easier for her and bloody difficult for you. To avoid the possible pitfalls Ralf has mentioned, have you and your wife thought of meeting people together as a couple? Exactly, as a couple you should have a much easier path, but not recommended if jealousy issues could arise so tread carefully. As a guy, unless you are something pretty special, it's an uphill battle.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
It appears all doom and gloom if you believe the comments above. Lol. unfortunately it's a fact of life that lots of men will not care that your wife is married, but that lots and lots of women will not be interested in you because you are married. They don't care if it is open or not. Women want to go out on dates, have sleep overs, maybe have a dirty weekend here and there, the odd spontaneous booty call. As a married guy are you able to offer that? If yes, I think this is something you can put forward when speaking to potential lovers. My advice, for what it's worth, is that you and the wife attend some swingers clubs and other social events advertised on this site. For instance, are you going to Saints and Sinners party coming up? Look, selling the "I am in an open marriage" is a real difficult sell. Not impossible, but difficult. So your wife will need to get behind you and if you attend these events.... Just to socialise and watch if that is all your wife wants... You will actually meet lots of people in the scene. Maybe other people in open arrangements, Etc. What seems to happen is that you may hit it off with a few people and get invited to sex parties an swingers clubs via the friendships you make. This is quite common. It's always fun to go out to dinner then head of to an event and get all sweaty and naked with a bunch of your friends.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I don't know about the clubs in Melbourne, but there have been a few threads discussing which are good and which are not. Not all clubs are good. So I would read up on it, and attend a few. Couples go for all different reasons. Some will go to socialise only, so will go to watch only, some will only have sex with each other, some may do a soft swap oral only, some will want to fuck only other women, some couples only want men to join them, other couples may jump on anything with a pulse, other people enjoy the mosh pit orgy room. You get me drift... Use the clubs as a way of meeting other like minded people.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
How the fuck do you go from here "For example. In a bar about 2am last sunday (yay long weekends) I had an interested young lady. She added me on facebook and saw that I was married" to Facebook in a night ?? Is this what I'm doing wrong ?
-
LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
But play together. Date together. Find couples or singles you can both fuck. If you do that it will be equitable, and it is something you do together, not something that you do apart... Which helps bring you together. I have seen lots of couples in your situation and it rarely ever ends well, because you will have a very hard time and she will do great. That is a lot of potential strain. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
http://www.redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Marriage-in-Crisis-46551 It was a very brave thread to make and was very interesting to read.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
However, hubby and I have an open marriage and one thing we learnt really quickly was the female is always in demand and the male just gets 'lucky'. Sorry, unless your a real looker and charmer, you will have to accept the odds........... Now there are some ways of counteracting this and yes, one is the swingers clubs......... Hubby and I have met some great friends through our local one and we hold swinging parties together etc, we even do social outings............ If you are looking for even keel, then you set the rules early !!!! Only play together, full partner swap etc etc......... Other ways, is to attend events, meet & greets and play parties (where there is no pressure to play)...... Good luck, keep communicating and enjoy.
-
madotara69
10 years ago
Imagine that if we pursued an open relationship, my luck would come from the good words Tara had put in for me, well before I knew of it. I doubt she would go her own way without care for an even weight of the scales for the relationship, let's not forget, or is it truly a relationship bond at heart and cared too in spirit. To be honest our relationship has always been open, we just never chose to seek out anything sexual apart from being with each other. Sorry lovinglust, that's all I can give for an approach and only based on "if" Mado Mado Tara xx
-
RHP User
10 years ago
is it possible that the club veto is because she knows you are more likely to hook up with a willing female? ... Perhaps the barrier is some underlying reservation on her part of you actually playing... just a thought, might be worth asking a question. (Mrs)
-
JohnAnn2227
10 years ago
We have had an open relationship in the past but it has died down to a smoulder now with kids. Neither of us went out looking to pick up but knew that if the opportunity arose we could take advantage of it. I would meet guys when I was on girls' nights out, hens nights etc. John would mostly meet his "friends" at the gym, beach etc. We agree that you both trying a swingers club would be a good start. There is no pressure to participate as the universal rule is "No means no". If your wife does not want to have sex in front of you (which is possible) you can have sex in different rooms at the club. I think though that the first thing you both need to do is communicate! You need to tell each other what you really want from an open relationship, what your boundaries are and an agreement that if either person is uncomfortable with what is happening that you both stop. COMMUNICATION is the secret. Good luck!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lovinglust' I have spent 10 years working as a bouncer in bars and nightclubs and am well aware of the fact that its easy for women to pickup and more dificult for men. What I am wanting to know is how to approach the situation as somone in an open relationship. For example. In a bar about 2am last sunday (yay long weekends) I had an interested young lady. She added me on facebook and saw that I was married, asked me about it, I told her our situation. Even offered for her to meet my wife so that she could see I wasnt out to cheat. And she couldnt get out of the place any faster. Advice on these situations is what im looking for. - Posted from rhpmobile I see what you are asking, how do you talk about play with people who don't play? In all honesty you can't. Every time you try to talk about play with those that don't experience the lifestyle their minds are blown. If you are going to use Facebook, do want your play world intersecting with your real family life do you? I mean you/she could have a really bad experience and if they have full access to your life then they could make your life way more complicated than it need be? I know of play couples who have play FB accounts and have 'play' names it helps them break real family life with 'play' life and kind of live two lives as such.
-
N4November
10 years ago
I've actually found going to a singers club as a single female is more controlled and there isn't the pressure like you have sometimes at a smaller party. Heaps if fun!!! In the scene you have to jump in with both feet, keep an open mind, leave your expectations at home and have a blast!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
i find women for Graham if he wants but he isn't that interested he'd rather have me with other guys. I think you two should hold back and talk this through more so resentment doesn't build up - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
like a rolling ocean waves of emotion Like our life rolling waves full with devotion Ride em high ride em low we test our spirit Our hearts will bend and may be broken Challenge our character tested temptation Resiliance stretched twisted folded and folded Understand your limits accept Them you know them Step by step we destroy them Edge closer and closer Step by step our limits increase to Dangerous levels Add one more add one other Add your lust add your lover To Gamble is to win or lose life your purpose Ride your wave lEmbrace It nothing lasts forever Lust and love devour each other Testing your mystery your bond may be broken Waves of emotion pound in your heart Your spirit two souls your love and Devotion Will sink to the bottom or fly high like the angels Step by step Lovers and lust can turn to devastation Your emotions to strong dangerous currents Can drown you destroy you sink you to the bottom Drowned alone uncontrolled by your own creation Like life on the waves Like love on our crest we ride them We create them Beware what create For we never have control of our lovers emotion. Dangerous currents together survival created Or drift your life alone or regret the temptation !! - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
thanks, my wife has been reading along and comments such as yours are making her feel much more confotable with the idea of clubs. married just over 5 years and together for over 10 years
-
RHP User
10 years ago
thanks aguy, hadn't even considered party's. I think my biggest problem is that i have no friendship network close by making it hard to meet people in general let alone making friends with benifits
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Brunnication' You asked how you present such an arrangement to a prospective fuck... Easy, if its so open you give her your wifes number, maybe you'll get lucky and have a 3 some. Just curious how do you think your wife presents it ? I'd bet she doesn't even raise it and the guys never ask ! hi Brunnication tried that the other night, even offered to introduce her to my wife who was at another bar just down the road, young lady wouldnt have anything to do with it
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Twinkes' How the fuck do you go from here "For example. In a bar about 2am last sunday (yay long weekends) I had an interested young lady. She added me on facebook and saw that I was married" to Facebook in a night ?? Is this what I'm doing wrong ? sorry Twinkes, I'm not sure what your asking here
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Bigmamma1' However, hubby and I have an open marriage and one thing we learnt really quickly was the female is always in demand and the male just gets 'lucky'. Sorry, unless your a real looker and charmer, you will have to accept the odds........... Now there are some ways of counteracting this and yes, one is the swingers clubs......... Hubby and I have met some great friends through our local one and we hold swinging parties together etc, we even do social outings............ If you are looking for even keel, then you set the rules early !!!! Only play together, full partner swap etc etc......... Other ways, is to attend events, meet & greets and play parties (where there is no pressure to play)...... Good luck, keep communicating and enjoy. tanks bigmamma1, love the constructive advice
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'GraySteele' is it possible that the club veto is because she knows you are more likely to hook up with a willing female? ... Perhaps the barrier is some underlying reservation on her part of you actually playing... just a thought, might be worth asking a question. (Mrs) we have had extensive conversations on this topic and shes more concerned that she will be harassed similarly to the way she gets patted on the ass or squeezed on the boob at nightclubs, she also has an extreme hardcore porn mental image of hundreds of naked people piled up on top of each other thrusting into each other. She has been reading this thread over my shoulder and the people talking about how relaxed the clubs are is putting her at ease, also the notion of a non playing evening at a club is pleasing to both of us. We are going to have to reserch some Melbourne clubs.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'JohnAnn2227' We have had an open relationship in the past but it has died down to a smoulder now with kids. Neither of us went out looking to pick up but knew that if the opportunity arose we could take advantage of it. I would meet guys when I was on girls' nights out, hens nights etc. John would mostly meet his "friends" at the gym, beach etc. We agree that you both trying a swingers club would be a good start. There is no pressure to participate as the universal rule is "No means no". If your wife does not want to have sex in front of you (which is possible) you can have sex in different rooms at the club. I think though that the first thing you both need to do is communicate! You need to tell each other what you really want from an open relationship, what your boundaries are and an agreement that if either person is uncomfortable with what is happening that you both stop. COMMUNICATION is the secret. Good luck! hi jonann2227, thanks so much for the input, our communication is really good, we are talking a lot about how we feel and what we want, I think I have so far communicated on red hot pie really poorly tho, i'll add a post of how we ended up in the here and now below
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'AGuyWithRespect' Quoting 'lovinglust' I have spent 10 years working as a bouncer in bars and nightclubs and am well aware of the fact that its easy for women to pickup and more dificult for men. What I am wanting to know is how to approach the situation as somone in an open relationship. For example. In a bar about 2am last sunday (yay long weekends) I had an interested young lady. She added me on facebook and saw that I was married, asked me about it, I told her our situation. Even offered for her to meet my wife so that she could see I wasnt out to cheat. And she couldnt get out of the place any faster. Advice on these situations is what im looking for. - Posted from rhpmobile I see what you are asking, how do you talk about play with people who don't play? In all honesty you can't. Every time you try to talk about play with those that don't experience the lifestyle their minds are blown. If you are going to use Facebook, do want your play world intersecting with your real family life do you? I mean you/she could have a really bad experience and if they have full access to your life then they could make your life way more complicated than it need be? I know of play couples who have play FB accounts and have 'play' names it helps them break real family life with 'play' life and kind of live two lives as such. Awesome aguy, thats the info i was after
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'baygirl2315' I've actually found going to a singers club as a single female is more controlled and there isn't the pressure like you have sometimes at a smaller party. Heaps if fun!!! In the scene you have to jump in with both feet, keep an open mind, leave your expectations at home and have a blast!!! - Posted from rhpmobile thanks babygirl
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Ok Everyone. this is the story of how we got to here. A few years ago I was feeling down that I never did the sleep around thing before getting married. One night with some friends we all got to talking about first times, the best, the worst, the embarrassing, How many they had had, etc. My wife isn't sure of the exact number of men she has been with but she estimates about 50 (she is also 8 years my senior) Of course i was the only one here with a count of 1. I found myself fascinated by everyone's stories and wanted to know more. I asked my wife for more details about her experiences and she gladly told me the stories, I found myself excited (not turned on, but thrilled) by the experiences that she had had but also a little/lot envious at my lack of. Skip forward about a year. My wife and i were hanging out with some of her girlfriends and they got themselves into a similar conversation as the one mentioned above. Unfortunately for these lady's none of them had experienced having a generous lover with most of the guys that these girls had been with being all about getting their rocks off then out the door. after a night of dancing, and more than our fair share of booze, my wife and i got home and as we were getting into the mood she commented on how sad she felt for her friends. Then she stunned me by saying maybe I should let you show them what it should feel like. I was so taken back that I avoided the conversation and proceeded undressing her. Skip forward about another 6 months, after lengthy conversations my wife about how my lack of experience was hanging over me she gave me permission to go and play, at this time I had just bought a share in a bar/restaurant as well as finishing off my apprenticeship and working as a bouncer to make ends meet while my wife went back to school. The next 9 months were the worst of my life. I was working from 6am at one job to be at the other by 4pm and getting home after 11pm on week days and working 9am till 3am on weekends trying to make it all work. any free time I had I just wanted to go home and hold my wife. at about the 9 month mark my business partner and i came to blows and I walked away from the business. soon after this i finished my apprenticeship just in time for basically the entire industry to be off-shored. Skip forward to last year With no work in or anywhere near we lived we moved to Melbourne where I worked in security for a few months before picking up some irregular shift work through my family. My wife changed courses and schools where she has made some really good friends including a girl who is in an open relationship with her fiance. About 6 months ago my wife and I were celebrating the downfall of my former business partner when we ran into an old friend of mine who joined us in the celebration, after one crazy night of celebrating. we all ended up in bed together. It was an amazing experience that left all 3 of us, all first time 3somers, with our minds blown. Over the months from then until now we have been talking and researching open relationships including websites such as this one amonst others and got a book on the subject (Tristan Taormino - opening up)After long discussion we both kinda prefer the friends with benefits senerio but we wanted to leave the option for a one night stand available for if it popped up for ether of us. I am well aware that the odds of a man vs a woman of picking up are well and truly stacked against the guy and even more so for a married man, I have known that from the time I was 12 and then reinforced throughout my security career with numerous incidence per night I had to deal with. I want to be open and honest with people I meet and so I am here to find and find out where to find like minded people. (Something I put forward very poorly with my posts until now, really shouldn't have tried to type a message that detailed on my phone) So sorry everyone for the confusion. Thankyou to all who have posted constructive, informative posts, you have given us some leads on partys and put my wifes mind at ease about clubs, looks like we have some more research to do. Cheers, lovinglust
-
RHP User
10 years ago
What ever club you go to, only ever do what you feel comfortable doing at all times. There is no obligation to do anything, and you are free to say "no thanks, I am right" If somebody asks you to play when you don't want to. Pretty much everyone is totally cool with that, and if they complain they are the ones doing the wrong thing. It is perfectly acceptable to say you are only there to watch or socialise. All clubs and parties are different and most I have been to are friendly and relaxed, however parties and clubs that allow single men can get a little over bearing for a new person As single guys may follow you up around. Therefore, I suggest you go to couples and single women only places for now. There are lots of threads on here about what you can expect and what you should wear, etc etc.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
How you can meet someone and within less than a whole night, they have added you to Facebook. Isn't that sorta wrong..? . And as stated by another poster, a little too close to your personal life. I thought FB was for real friends ?
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Twinkes' How you can meet someone and within less than a whole night, they have added you to Facebook. Isn't that sorta wrong..? . And as stated by another poster, a little too close to your personal life. I thought FB was for real friends ? that a lot of people have no issue adding people they don't know on fb, I see it particularly with younger people. You just have to look at how many fb friends some people have, in the hundreds and even thousands. I used to be not so picky about who I had as a friend but I've definitely become more careful now.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
hi twinkes, as luck_dragon says above, fb to some people especially gen y and gen z is more of an extended network and a lot of people create private groups and only add close friends or work friends etc to these groups to keep things private.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
My advice is to communicate. And sorry but if the wife wants to play at any gven opportunity her options will be wide open. If ths isnt gonna work for you then I'd close it down now before it drives a wedge too deep into your relationship. My best piece of advice would be to attend meet and greets etc and get out and actually meet people in "the scene" so to speak. Make friends with them and attend parties/clubs etc together. BUt it'll NEVER be a level playing field. She's a woman, you're a man. And if she's a bisexual woma, well that chasm just got wider lol
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Couples that play together, stay together.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
The answer is you are looking for the wrong person. We might all dream of a single nymph in a skimpy dress but seriously why would they want a married guy. They want a relationship. You already have the answer in your friends lack of quality. You need to look at married women who don't want another hubby just a fuck. Most nightclub girls will fuck you without needing the backstory, get comfortable with yourself and what you actually want. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
10 years ago
I think you missed the meaning of my post OP
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'The_3somes' My advice is to communicate. And sorry but if the wife wants to play at any gven opportunity her options will be wide open. If ths isnt gonna work for you then I'd close it down now before it drives a wedge too deep into your relationship. My best piece of advice would be to attend meet and greets etc and get out and actually meet people in "the scene" so to speak. Make friends with them and attend parties/clubs etc together. BUt it'll NEVER be a level playing field. She's a woman, you're a man. And if she's a bisexual woma, well that chasm just got wider lol If she is getting plenty the reality is she needs to pimp you out, I'd say she'd enjoy that sort of power but it will also ensure you both share the experience equally. If she can't see that you getting your fair share isn't as much her job as yours well it isn't going to work, she'll get fat from all the cake :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
if u feel guilty subcontiously or not allowed in your own mind to chat, flirt or actually enjoy your self as its not a good thing even when u are trying to pick up "making contentious effort" you are kind of vibrating the wrong signals . I completely disagree with who ever here sais that women dont like married men for a one nighter or for a little bit of fun !! in fact most woman would do anything they feel like doing just like men on the night provided the right seduction and right vibrations are put in front of them and there is no reason for a guy not to be able to pick up as much if not more girls than his woman. what is it that your looking to get though with opening your marriage ?? do you both want to play alone with others and exclusive without each other in the same place or room ?? in that case im not sure about ur relationship but sounds like a massive step up from closed relationship.. and you know what happens when massive steps are attempted without warm up right ! as long as you both happy and getting what u like then its no one else's business i guess, just go out to a bar or where ever it is you enjoy your own company and your self the most then youll start attracting and being attracted too. good luck PussyMaster
-
Andyjayyy
10 years ago
The best but about setting things up here on RHP is that you get to filter out exactly what it is you are both looking for. Work out what that is, set that in your profile and find those you have an attraction with; be that adding a couple, guy or single lady (good luck on this one). I'd suggest 1) taking the time to actually talk to those people on the phone as you can learn more in a quick chat about someone than you can ever do just swapping txt messages. And 2) don't invite someone that is going to make either of you feel personally self conscious (I.e. Mr 8 inch + body builder or Miss Universe). 3) Choose someone dependable and giving who will follow what it is you are looking for.. If you can't trust that that person(a) will even show up, how can you trust them to have sex with safely? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
blackbig
10 years ago
You sound like a very honest guy. I hope this works for you. I agree that wife should help out to get you shagged more often... That will be a good way to show that she cares-:) I have played with one or two girls in similar types of relationship. The rules were , hubby will be there in the first encounter . Would you get horny to see her shagged? If so then , playing with couples could be another option. However I strongly advice to do what works for you guys. Keep good communication happening between you two. I like your honest. You must be a nice fella and these RHP ladies should give you a chance😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Naughtydouble
10 years ago
Before you jump in go to a swingers club its not what you think theirs less pressure than bars and you dont have to play try a theme night or a meet and greet way to hard to find a couple you both click with straight up - Posted from rhpmobile
-
princessandnever
10 years ago
Being a cuckold i am used to our relationship being all about her.Nothing better than watching or knowing your HOTWIFE is being pleasured by a real man who is hung ( as long as he knows how to use it )i would in your case suggest a swingers club,we go often sometimes she plays , sometimes she doesn't .Their is no pressure whats so ever from anyone ever.Thats why couples go there in the first place.
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Twinkes' I think you missed the meaning of my post OP Not sure what your asking
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Brunnication' Quoting 'The_3somes' My advice is to communicate. And sorry but if the wife wants to play at any gven opportunity her options will be wide open. If ths isnt gonna work for you then I'd close it down now before it drives a wedge too deep into your relationship. My best piece of advice would be to attend meet and greets etc and get out and actually meet people in "the scene" so to speak. Make friends with them and attend parties/clubs etc together. BUt it'll NEVER be a level playing field. She's a woman, you're a man. And if she's a bisexual woma, well that chasm just got wider lol If she is getting plenty the reality is she needs to pimp you out, I'd say she'd enjoy that sort of power but it will also ensure you both share the experience equally. If she can't see that you getting your fair share isn't as much her job as yours well it isn't going to work, she'll get fat from all the cake :) Not the case, in the month or so we been open, numbers (hookups) are so far in my favor, have all been women that iv known for years. the reason I started this thread was asking how and where to meet new people but so far I have got negativity about being a male
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Hi all, Last night had fantastic discussion with Mrs. lovinglust. In short all barriers are removed and we are researching a few swing clubs to make a non playing visit. also, when payday comes I am going to upgrading ether my membership or creating a couples account (only one will be a paid acc, probably the couple one) so I will be able to contact people via message, so if you have sent me a flurt and are following this thread I will get a message to you in the next few days.
-
LifeUnscripted
10 years ago
So glad to hear that things are moving in a positive direction. Quote "the reason I started this thread was asking how and where to meet new people but so far I have got negativity about being a male" I am sorry you got that impression. It isn't so much negativity about being male, more about the average lot of men in an open relationship where couples play separately. You might be luckier than most, but in nearly every case I have seen like that, unless you are also poly (i.e. looking for a romantic relationship with a girlfriend in addition to your wife) the guy nearly always ends up disappointed with his activity level. Playing together just solves that issue, but maybe that is not what you are looking for. Good luck either way! :)
-
RHP User
10 years ago
cheers for the positive feedback
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'lovinglust' Hi all, Last night had fantastic discussion with Mrs. lovinglust. In short all barriers are removed and we are researching a few swing clubs to make a non playing visit. also, when payday comes I am going to upgrading ether my membership or creating a couples account (only one will be a paid acc, probably the couple one) so I will be able to contact people via message, so if you have sent me a flurt and are following this thread I will get a message to you in the next few days. My heart swelled when I saw your successful communication has blossomed and that your persevered through everyones initial reaction to find what you were looking for! This is a perfect example of how this site can help people safely explore the right options and learn from others so I am beaming for you mate!
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Just in case I missed it then ready, who's idea was it to open the relationship, Mrs or Mr......
-
RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Looking4trouble' Just in case I missed it then ready, who's idea was it to open the relationship, Mrs or Mr...... I brought up the idea a few years ago. at the time she was not interested, as our relationship developed over the last few years she started entertaining the idea of me with other lady's but it was me that pushed for fully open as I want things to be mutual
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 14361 Comments: 120840
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1355 Comments: 14709
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2425 Comments: 17234
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2405 Comments: 12737
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 794 Comments: 5154
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1148 Comments: 6957
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 622 Comments: 2145
-
LGBT
Topics: 156 Comments: 1150
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share