M37
No i can't today
January 14 2012
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think you have to go with your gut feeling on this. If you think you'll be stood up again, then that's most likely. Maybe she is legit, maybe she's playing games to get her own sick jollies. Choose a venue in which it doesn't matter if she shows up or not... like a beach or a gym class or something. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
Btw... a young bloke like you could fall victim to a sick dude posing as a woman. Meet her on Cam. Hugs Stalky
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think you may need to stop and consider the lifestyle of the person first. Does this woman have children? Does she have a job? It seems to me that it would be quite feasible for life to interfere twice. Better to be told "no I cant" than to be stood up.
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RHP User
13 years ago
One no show with a good excuse is fair enough but two is rude and unacceptable and not worth your time. Sounds like game-playing or cold feet.Call "next" and move on.
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wannabyummymummy
13 years ago
I think it comes down to the person and her circumstances but basically i see two explanations for this1) she has been unfortunate enough to have legit reasons on two occasions (kids, work, family drama, who knows?)2) she is just wasting your time and has no intention of ever meeting you, she is more into the attention online.You are quite right that if a guy stood a girl up on here he would get an instant "see ya!!" from most on here BUT a no show/getting stood up is defined (in my view) when they don't let you know beforehand and to be brutally honest girls on here are swamped with messages and spoilt for choice so they don't really need to waste time on some guy who won't show up and not even call. For guys it can be a lot more difficult to get a reply from a girl let alone get to meet one so i think generally they try a bit longer and tend to give the benefit of the doubt more. (not saying it is right just saying that is how i think it is)The fact that this girl has let you know both times that she can't make it does make it seem more genuine, and she is continuing to talk to you, however ask yourself this, is she contacting you? or is she responding to you when you initiate contact? if she is contacting you then maybe give it one more go, but I'd say 3 strikes your out honey!! If it is the latter then maybe she has lost interest and doesn't really want to meet but doesn't like confrontation and doesn't really know how to tell you (it is way harder to tell a guy you aren't interested once you have chatted a bit or met in person).Good luck which ever way you goWBYM
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RHP User
13 years ago
maybe in chat...exchanging messages...flirting..phone calls etc...you seem like the right option for her....but in the cold hard light of day....its just not that good an idea.... reality checks do that...i'd save my dignity and walk away politely....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Hi amichigo, I think you know where this is going, hence the answer to your question is in your question. It seems to me that your questioning your willingness to be stood up gain. Being stood up is just something that happens from time to time but repeat offenders need to be avoided. You've brought your A game to the table twice and she hasn't made an appearence. 1 outta 3 (if she surfaces this time) is not the kind of odds that sound good to me. I agree with Shelandmike or if your keen to go another round take Stalkys advice. I for one would be keen to know what you decide and how this pans out for you.... Good luck. R Digital_sf
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RHP User
13 years ago
There's not too many legit reasons for not meeting some one at a designated time and place....twice. However it's not impossible that something unavoidable came up.... Twice! (increasing the suspect factor by 150%). Incidentally do you have a height to weight ratio of this particular person? Just a thought...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Count your losses and move on.. guarantee you that this female will never show. After two no show.. its clear that she is not interested in you, despite text and pic exchange.As far as I am concern, if the women stood me up twice (that is, never to bother to contact me with reasons unable to attend) .. I consider her as a "Douchebag" myself. Timewaster. etc.. etc..
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm a firm believer in second chances as we all need to re-arrange our schedules from time to time due to work or family commitments....But.....Seriously, if a guy stands me up twice then he is off my list......forever !!!Move on honey.....sounds like she is just playing with you emotions and there are plenty more hot sexy women on this site looking for someone like you.
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RHP User
13 years ago
"why do most ladies feel the rule doesn't apply to them when it comes to dating ?"What rules are there anyway? You were told beforehand that she couldn't make it. That's what is known as polite rather than just not turning up. What's this "most ladies" thing as well? You were cancelled on twice by the one person. Hardly a stellar case for tarring all women with the same brush.Sometimes life gets in the way. Meeting a perfect stranger to check each other out for prospective fucking comes way at the bottom of the list when other stuff in life gets in the way. Children, family, job, friends, a known lover making a booty call. All of these things come before meeting a stranger off the internet.I'm sure it works the same with guys as well (please correct me if I'm wrong fellas)?Also, you didn't say how old this woman who has cancelled on you is? If she's around your age, or younger, and you've only sms'd/internet chatted, actually working up the courage to meet a perfect stranger from the internet can be bloody hard work. This is where web cams and actual phone calls come into play. If you can develop an online friendship of sorts with someone who is not very experienced with meeting random guys for sex, then you'll have a better hope of that tentative date actually becoming a hot shagging session.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Double, or even triple book yourself. That way if they all cancel on you then maybe it's best to look in the mirror and ask urself what you are doing wrong. I know that's cold hearted and if I don't think they will cancel then I won't do it. Otherwise... The other option is just be straight up with them beforehand and ask them if they are going to cancel. That way if they do still cancel then chances are that it is for a legit reason. It's extremely annoying being cancelled on but rest assured, you are not alone.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have had to cancel on people at the last minute on occasion. These things happen. Whether it has been work, kids or illness, it doesn't mean lack of interest. If youre keen on this person, give her as many opportunities as she requests until you're no longer keen. Continue to explore other avenues without closing the door on her. luv, Jen.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have been stood up on a couple of times, without any prior excuse. If they do that I simply block them and don't waste any more time on them. In your case they told you they couldn't make it so you've given them a 2nd chance. They still didn't show, so what makes you think they will on a 3rd or 4th time? I'm a firm believer in the "2 strikes and you're out" rule. Stop wasting time on this one and find someone else.
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rc_80
13 years ago
You know, I married the girl that had two excuses for our first two dates...
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luvsilver
13 years ago
Imagine if Mr Rocker had given up after 2 missed meets. Two of the most well suited people together on here from what i see. Mr luvsilver
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RHP User
13 years ago
Some women not worth a second try after missing first. Others are but for relationship, not worth waiting sex.Depend if worthwhile. Same true for men.Is she worth wasting more of valuable time or does she waste valuable time to future as well as now?
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RHP User
13 years ago
For cancellations in advance, 3 strike rule. For standing up without a prior or post apology...you're out! Happened to me last week...You know who you are...what is wrong with even a pathetic excuse via text in advance so as to not make the dude feel like the proverbial shag on the rock waiting..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingChilli' A wise friend told me "Be unforgiving in the first year while he's on his best behaviour" If you can't see yourself behaving like her, then don't accept it from her.Life is too short to waste. Chilli xx wow chilli where were you to tell me this 10 years ago? would have saved me a lot of time... because some of the faults that have always been there but were ignored for long time, were the reason why we ended up seperating..nevermind..thanks now though... :)
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rc_80
13 years ago
Well, I guess you might be right :P But still, you never know who you'll meet. Quoting 'ChasingChilli' Quoting 'luvsilver' Imagine if Mr Rocker had given up after 2 missed meets. Two of the most well suited people together on here from what i see. Mr luvsilver Please forgive me if I've got this wrong but I believe Mr RockerCouple had already met Mrs RockerCouple in person more than once and knew people who knew her, so he had a very good idea of her real life persona and definitely knew that she is a quality woman who you would take infinite excuses from while waiting for her to feel ready and for timing to be on your side The rules are a little different with people you have met only online and never in the fleshChilli xxAnd RockerCouple.... I'm still waiting patiently
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RHP User
13 years ago
...on a lot of things. Being stood up by either person isn't nice. If you have a genuine and valid excuse and its given before the event then a re-schedule is okay. this happens all the time with work meetings being rescheduled and not a drama. but if you have agreed to meet and you are waiting there and the other person doesnt turn up or message u they will be late or just doesnt reply - that is rude. Personally as a single woman with a teenager I have to juggle lots of things and find it a challenge to meet when I have a teenager who has erratic stifts and no way of getting home from late finishes (midnite). As I want to keep my lifestyle private there has come a time when I just cant make the meeting and it is with regret that I have to cancel - circumstances do get in the way and kids can cramp your style. Unfortunately I had to cancel on a lovely guy and was so upset about it due to my daughter's shift - there wasnt any time to meet and get back and then I just cant walk back out the door without teenager cottoning onto what naughty mummy is getting up to..lol I am not into quickies so I like to play for hrs and sometimes its just not possible. I can totally understand the greif you are going through but if you think the lady is worth waiting for, please persist as when I do get to meet guys we have so much fun together.
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